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View Full Version : My *good friend*(girl 21) is angry at me


NeB39
Mar 28, 2014, 11:10 PM
So I'm 21 years old currently in year 2 of my law degree with this girl. She has a BF (who lives overseas in her hometown) but we are quite close nonetheless. Over the course of 2 years, we have been through a lot of drama where I liked her, she acts like she likes me but later claims to be friends. I'm not so blur; I can see that there is chemistry between us and the attraction is there. For one thing, I know for a fact that she asked me out for coffe together at the time when she was fighting with the BF.

The thing is we went clubbing alone together before and I know for a fact that they had a fight about that but she didn't tell me. We usually walk back from class together and we do look like a couple. There was one time where the BF was in town and we were all going to the same concert. I invited them to join us but she avoided and evaded the text.

Recently, we were txting and the topic of movies came up. I was planning to go alone and she said she wanted to watch too but later says it will be awkward. She said she will get back to me (which she did 3hrs later). She said it will be hard to explain to the BF and I said NP I understand.

I then tell her that I like hanging out with you but I respect your rship with your BF and I think we are too close sometimes and we should distance ourselves. She then goes ballistic and starts saying I only treat you as a friend. Fyi I kept my distance she says. Then she says I'm blaming her for this and all. I reply of course not, to which I mentioned how people have asked me before are we dating. I say that's not good for either of us. She says I know people say that but I don't get why we can't be good friends. Then she asks who has said that? I gave 3 names to which she grudgingly conceded: I guess that's that. I said I hope you understand to which she says I do and I guess it's for the best.

Few hrs later she texts her best friend whom I am also close friends with. Her best friend told me she's furious and said that I said some weird things and she's going to ignore me. She did not show the texts to the best friend but I did.

What I think is that she likes me but refuses to acknowledge it. I mean why get so angry over something like this? I admit I do like her but I want to do it the right way. She gets so defensive over something I did not even insuniate. She used to talk about me a lot to her best friend but ever since I invited her and the BF to the concert, she stopped and became very cold. She only mentioned me 2 weeks later out of nowhere to her best friend, saying that I'm clear that we are just friends and she has only treated me that way. To me this sounds like some sort of self-assurance thing.

So what do you guys think? I have not seen her yet but I know what I'm in for and I would eventually ask her why she's so angry and ignoring me.

Yes she sounds and is crazy but I still like her nonetheless. What is the best approach? We are going to study in the same uni in the UK and she won't be seeing the BF for 9 months at least (we are currently in Malaysia and the BF lives in another state).

joypulv
Mar 29, 2014, 01:06 AM
99 times out a 100, a male in your situation is nothing but a friend, needed by an inconsiderate woman to fill in when her boyfriend isn't around.
For a law student, you sure know a lot of things for a fact which have no meaning at all. You are extrapolating wildly, and that's a sign that you are blinded by love.
Distance yourself and do it with resolve. Be honest with her about why. Tell her it's time that you start spending more time meeting potential girlfriends. Tell her that you are a bit too interested in her being your girlfriend. But say it in a way that doesn't leave the door open, because too many women love the thrill of having someone like you in tow.

She and the boyfriend might not last when she goes to the UK, but I still think you are never going to take his place. You say the chemistry is there and I say it isn't. I say she is selfish and needy and a drama queen, needing a man available to feed her ego every minute. If the chemistry were there, she would have dumped him by now. You are the puppy dog, the needed attention, and you help make the boyfriend attentive too.

Fr_Chuck
Mar 29, 2014, 03:23 AM
First, sorry, to be rude, this sounds more like JR high, than 2nd year law school. 21 year old adults, ask, they talk about, and if not sure, they ask again.

At least in the culture I live now, boyfriends and girlfriends often go to different university in different city. The girls often get a special male friend to be with, till they graduate and go back to the boyfriend, but they are not boyfriend and girlfriend

talaniman
Mar 29, 2014, 06:04 PM
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/girl-bf-says-we-getting-too-close-778518.html

You still being led around by the nose for the same girl?