So much going on in my life, I hate school can't stand my teachers can't be bothered listening to my friends and all their winging or drama. Can't stand being in the same room as my mother and listening to her constantly asking me what's wrong or lecturing me on my behaviour. I feel like I just want to pack my things and leave. I don't know what to do I hate the thought of getting up in the morning and having to see these people. I hate my mom I know that's a horrible thing to say but you don't know her she's so nosey always in my business always snooping god I wish she would just stop. Now I sound like one of the complaining but it can't handle it anymore

DO you honetly believe ANYTHING is going to be easier on your own? Well hate to tell you its going to be a LOT worse. You have it easier now than you will ever have it.

Upset a boss... you find yourself fired, upset your landlord... you find yourself having to find a new place to live. Don't show up for work. You don't get paid and you get told to not bother returning.

Don't get paid you don't eat, you don't get a place to live because you get thrown out, you don't have water, light or heat.

When you find fault with everyone and everything around you... the problem isn't there... but within yourself.

What do you do... stop expecting everything to go your way... its never going to happen... the best you can hope for is some things to go how you hope... when they do count your blessings.

As long as your parents pay the bills and are responsible for you... they are entitled to snoop. They are entitled to snoop even when they aren't. They brought you into this world and raised you. As long as you and them are breathing air..they are going to snoop....they snoop because they care.

WHat you really need is counceling. Do you have a councelor at your school? If not you could talk to your parents... who can make arraingements to see one.

So is this why you want to overdose on codeine?

So is this why you want to overdose on codeine?
I don't want to overdose on codine I like the feeling I get when I take lots of it. I'm not unhappy I don't want to die.

Very common (even among your classmates, and you probably don't even know it).
I went through it, and that was 50+ years ago.
As said, running away is worse.
And in relation to your other post, yes, you can die from too much codeine. Most overdoses fail, however, (you need a LOT and doctors won't give out enough for a fatal dose) and you end up in a hospital with your stomach pumped and sometimes some damage.

What I did was read and read and read, in my room, until I was done with high school (no computers then). Can you do that?

I don't expect everything to go my way, I know that's not how this world works I'm not stupid. I would just like to be able to block my ears and not listen to everyone talking at me. My mother might be responsible for me but I would like to think I can have some sort of privacy, what she does is not caring but looking for reasons to yell at me..

You don't get to do that... you have to listen to people even when you don't want to... Privacy is a privilege that's earned, its not an entitlement. Try behaving in the way she expects... then she won't have a reason.

Your "right to privacy" really doesn't apply as a child. And its not nearly as extensive as an adault as you might think.

Do you understand the saying... you reap what you sow? It means there are consequences to actions and behaviours. You have them as a kid... and you still have then as an adult. The fact is even dictators in third world countries are not exempt from them.

Again... you don't get to define what caring is... because you really have no serious responsibilities as a kid beyond school... you will grasp the significance of this when you are an adult , supporting yourself successfully and have kids of your own. Its something that as a teen... you don't yet have the maturity to understand yet. But in time you will.

The only thing you are entitled to is food, clothing and shelter. What exactly they are is dependent on those providing them, and what they can afford, and what they want them to be. They might not be what you want. If you get a choice...consider that a privledge.

Even as an adult..it might be many years until you can afford what you want....before then you settle for what you can afford.

Life is like that...you settle for what options you have availble to you. And you make the most of them. Stomping your feet and getting upset won't change anything. In fact it usually results in fewer options when you do it.

I wouldn't mind listening to certain people if they had anything worth me listening to. My friends just complain about other people behind their back and then act like they are friends to their faces what a joke ! My mum goes through my room checks my phone ask me a million questions accuses me of being high all the time she tries and gets in my head and no matter how much I ignor her it never stops, caring I'd rather she just focus on my sister not me. Reap what I sow fair enough but I haven't done anything to her so why does she act this way? And why only towards me?

I don't think you want to overdose. I think you want to run away mentally as well as physically. Drugs of any type may seem like an escape but in reality they are a trap that holds you where you are or puts you in a worse situation.

You haven't said how old you are or how long before you graduate.

For someone who is 'happy' you seem full of 'hate'. You have a choice. You can hold on to the hate. Look at everything in a negative way. Build up walls of anger and resentment. Or you can decide to change your attitude. Get involved in activities that help you feel good and positive about yourself and life. Focus on learning about things you like. Focus on doing well in your classes whether you like the teachers or not. Make new friends who might have more in common with you than your current friends.

Look at your own behavior and attitude around the house. Do you help out? Do you act like a member of the family or do you hide away ignoring everyone and everything? Do you keep up with your school/home work? Are you failing your classes? Are you always tardy or 'home sick' a lot? Do you spend hours on the computer or texting with people you shouldn't? Are you giving off signals that you can't be trusted?

Ask your mother to sit down and talk with you about boundaries. Find out why she is concerned and 'invading' your privacy.

I wouldn't mind listening to certain people if they had anything worth me listening to. My friends just complain about other people behind their back and then act like they are friends to their faces what a joke ! My mum goes through my room checks my phone ask me a million questions accuses me of being high all the time she tries and gets in my head and no matter how much I ignor her it never stops, caring I'd rather she just focus on my sister not me. Reap what I sow fair enough but I haven't done anything to her so why does she act this way? And why only towards me?

Ok, good... you got the point I was trynig to make... and answer to some of this other points. You see thiings only from your own perspective. With the hormone swings you are barely able to deal with at your age.. its easy to see things in an exaggerated manner. Its not uncommon and its very likely you are doing it right now. Toss in the tendencies of a teen to exaggerate in their behaviour... A simple comment or action ends up blown out of porportion. Surely you have seen your friends doing this.

Ever hear the saying... the squeaky wheel gets the grease? What it means is your actions in the home are making you the squeaky wheel... and are drawing their attention more than your sister is. Erratic behaviour is always more noticeable to others than it is to the person who is acting erratically.

The other thing... "her trying to get in your head"... and your mother "asking you a million questions" Clearly exagerations... understand how much a million of something is? And you are aware.. people talk with each other all the time... they even ask questions... why should your family be any different than anyone else. It's a normal social behaviour.

Wow, you have a phone of your own... that says a lot. Who pays for it each month? Somehow I doubt you do. You are better off than half the world right there.

Yes, some parents are horrible. My mother accused me of things I didn't do either, the main one being sex. I DO know what it's like to be screamed at for nothing at all. At that was before the days we have now, with teenage girls doing some really naïve things online.

You didn't answer my question...

I don't think I'm full of hate just tired, tired of everything. I try to see the positive things but trust me its not easy being in high school to find anything positive. I don't fail classes but I'm not at the top either. I am always at school my mum only let's me stay at home when I'm dying and there is no need to skip classes when I can sit in the back put my headphones in and not be noticed. I just turned 15. I don't really know what signals I could possibly give of to make my mother act the way she does. I can't speak to her I haven't spoken to my mum in about 4 months or my sister if I did I would say something I would regret so I don't say anything I do all the chores she asks of me


Wow, you have a phone of your own... that says a lot. Who pays for it each month? Somehow I doubt you do. You are better off than half the world right there.

Yes, some parents are horrible. My mother accused me of things I didn't do either, the main one being sex. I DO know what it's like to be screamed at for nothing at all. At that was before the days we have now, with teenage girls doing some really naïve things online.

You didn't answer my question...
Sorry I do read when I'm at home, I do have a job and I brought my own phone and buy my own credit I don't ask for anything I'm great full for what they provide for me

I don't think I'm full of hate just tired, tired of everything. I try to see the positive things but trust me its not easy being in high school to find anything positive. I don't fail classes but I'm not at the top either. I am always at school my mum only let's me stay at home when I'm dying and there is no need to skip classes when I can sit in the back put my headphones in and not be noticed. I just turned 15. I don't really know what signals I could possibly give of to make my mother act the way she does. I can't speak to her I haven't spoken to my mum in about 4 months or my sister if I did I would say something I would regret so I don't say anything I do all the chores she asks of me

Read the highlighted part again... you have your answer why in that same highlighted part. Thats not only just a red flag.....but bells, whistles and fireworks as well.

You not speaking to your mom or your sister, your taking codeine, your sitting in class with head phones on, your complaining, all of these are signs there is something wrong and your mom is picking up in them. The fact that your taking codeine is a big enough thing to make her curious. Most moms are not dumb, when there is a problem we know it. Your attitude about your friends is pretty negative. You're doing an awful lot of complaining about them, but you're 15, hormonal, doing drugs, (codeine is a drug) so you are probably not a joy to be around either.
Speak to a counselor at your school. Maybe he/she can set you up with someone to talk to on a regular basis. You are your biggest problem

Read the highlighted part again... you have your answer why in that same highlighted part. Thats not only just a red flag.....but bells, whistles and fireworks as well.
Why is it so hard for her to understand I don't want to speak to her I do as she asks I don't get in trouble well hardly ever. Why does she talk talk talk

When you are living with someone who takes care of you, (your mom) and you don't want to talk to them, that is a problem. How can you do that to your mom? You talk about your friends not having anything to say worth hearing and about how immature they all are, you are acting like a brat. Your mom talks to you because she loves you and wants to know how things are going with you. She talks to you because it is rude to live in the house with people and ignore them because you don't feel like talking.
Get some counseling.

Why is it so hard for her to understand I don't want to speak to her I do as she asks I don't get in trouble well hardly ever. Why does she talk talk talk
Because that's NOT a normal behaviour... you are not behaving in a normal manner and she sees this... she's your mum... and contrary to what you believe... she does care.

If she let you do things they way you want... you will certainly make a disaster of your life before you are an adult. One that you might spend the rest of your natural life trying to correct.

How can I be so certain... because I have the benefit of a lot of years experience seeing people very much like you do just that.

You not speaking to your mom or your sister, your taking codeine, your sitting in class with head phones on, your complaining, all of these are signs there is something wrong and your mom is picking up in them. The fact that your taking codeine is a big enough thing to make her curious. Most moms are not dumb, when there is a problem we know it. Your attitude about your friends is pretty negative. You're doing an awful lot of complaining about them, but you're 15, hormonal, doing drugs, (codeine is a drug) so you are probably not a joy to be around either.
Speak to a counselor at your school. Maybe he/she can set you up with someone to talk to on a regular basis. You are your biggest problem
I don't normally complain I don't speak to people so I can't complain guess I just needed to get it out, in a way I felt comfortable with. And your right I'm just some hormonal teenager who it sucks to be around. It's not like I take codeine all the time so I don't speak big deal she should be happy I don't she wouldn't like it if I did


Because that's NOT a normal behaviour... you are not behaving in a normal manner and she sees this... she's your mum... and contrary to what you believe... she does care.

If she let you do things they way you want... you will certainly make a disaster of your life before you are an adult. One that you might spend the rest of your natural life trying to correct.

How can I be so certain... because I have the benefit of a lot of years experience seeing people very much like you do just that.
My life is already a disaster and there is nothing she can do about it there is no point in talking to her you might think I hurt he by not talking to her but its better for us both this way. I can do this myself I just need some quiet to think it all through I need her to stop just for a bit. But I don't know how to get her to understand

You can't fix it yourself because you don't have the benefit of seeing the situation with a clear mind... nor do you have the benefit of ife experience to know the right way and the wrong way to do something.

The fact your life is such a disater (your words) now... is because you've been making all the wrong decisions and doing all the wrong things.

At 15 you don't have the answers you need to fix it. That's not a swipe at you.. its just a fact that some things require a lot of experience to understand... much less fix. And you are the least equipped individual being you lack the experience or the objectivity needed. Because you are in the middle of it. Even an adult is not in a position to self diagnose because even if they have the experience... they will lack the needed objectivity to see things how they really are... and not how they think they are. The two many times are not the same.

Also...the things that seem so importat to a teen...are usually not to anyone else more than a few years older....and the things a teen thinks are insignificant....can and many times do have life long ramnifications.

You can't fix it yourself because you don't have the benefit of seeing the situation with a clear mind... nor do you have the benefit of ife experience to know the right way and the wrong way to do something.

The fact your life is such a disater (your words) now... is because you've been making all the wrong decisions and doing all the wrong things.

At 15 you don't have the answers you need to fix it. That's not a swipe at you.. its just a fact that some things require a lot of experience to understand... much less fix. And you are the least equipped individual being you lack the experience or the objectivity needed. Because you are in the middle of it. Even an adult is not in a position to self diagnose because even if they have the experience... they will lack the needed objectivity to see things how they really are... and not how they think they are. The two many times are not the same.

Also...the things that seem so importat to a teen...are usually not to anyone else more than a few years older....and the things a teen thinks are insignificant....can and many times do have life long ramnifications.
I just don't want to talk!! This is my decision you might think it's the wrong one but its not. Nothing can be fixed if I don't speak nothing will get broken. It's easy I need quiet she needs move on leave me alone

I just need some quiet to think it all through
How about this idea? -- you're a good writer and want to think all this through. Every evening, list in a notebook or in a Word file five things that pleased you and made you feel good during the day. They could be small things, like answering a question correctly in history class or enjoying a favorite dessert OR they could be bigger things ... or things in between. This will push your brain to think through more things going on in your life.

I just don't want to talk!! This is my decision you might think it's the wrong one but its not. Nothing can be fixed if I don't speak nothing will get broken. It's easy I need quiet she needs move on leave me alone

And that is exactly WHY she doesn't... Its not normal for one thing... for another its being very disrespectful to her. This little thing about family hierarchy.. and the parents being in charge and all.

There is this other unfortunate reality of life... ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away... it causes it to fester. 99.99% of the time the worst thing you can do about a problem is ignore it. It usually takes someone until their late 20's to understand this, and why. A few adults never learn it.

I just don't want to talk!! This is my decision you might think it's the wrong one but its not. Nothing can be fixed if I don't speak nothing will get broken. It's easy I need quiet she needs move on leave me alone
Your mother is not going to "be move on and leave you alone" That is not what moms do. They care about their kids, what's going on in their life.
You need some counseling, perhaps with your mom as well. It's obvious you have some issues (although I think mostly is teenage angst) but you also need to learn to respect your mom and some manners. You don't live in a house with people and not talk to them, it's rude.

And that is exactly WHY she doesn't... Its not normal for one thing... for another its being very disrespectful to her. This little thing about family hierarchy.. and the parents being in charge and all.

There is this other unfortunate reality of life... ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away... it causes it to fester. 99.99% of the time the worst thing you can do about a problem is ignore it. It usually takes someone until their late 20's to understand this, and why. A few adults never learn it.
I'm not trying to be disrespectful I'm not, not talking because I want to hurt them Im doing this for them and me, they just don't see it but how could they I guess they will never understand. My parents might be in charge but they can't control my body. I'm not ignoring my problem, I am a dealing with it but its not that easy why I need her to stop. I thought by now she would give up

Your age is really showing here.
Parents don't just give up on their kids. You are not dealing with your problems because you don't know how. What you are doing to your family is just rude. You think you know the best way but you don't, you have no clue.

I'm not trying to be disrespectful I'm not talking because I want to hurt them Im doing this for them and me, they just don't see it but how could they I guess they will never understand. My parents might be in charge but they can't control my body. I'm not ignoring my problem, I am a dealing with it but its not that easy why I need her to stop. I thought by now she would give up

I understand you might not be trying to be... but the appearance of it is there. And all it has to do is appear that way to her.

Being quiet and keeping it to yourself is not dealing with it. You don't have the experience or the skillset to deal with it. The proof is you don't "get" why she doesn't give up. Your behaviour is raising all kinds of flags that you are up to something... including things you might not actually be doing right now.

Your behaviour is WHY she isn't giving up... and in fact... its a pretty good indication that she is acting like a good parent. And that she really does care.

People who care don't let people wallow in their misery and do whatever they want particularly when its self destructive. And what you are doing is self destructive... but you can't see that because you lack the objectivity that we have.

It takes an incredible amount of apathy to sit back.. and let someone do things self destructive when its clear its happening.

At least you aren't surrounded by people like that... and one day you will understand how lucky your to have them.

Your mother is not going to "be move on and leave you alone" That is not what moms do. They care about their kids, what's going on in their life.
You need some counseling, perhaps with your mom as well. It's obvious you have some issues (although I think mostly is teenage angst) but you also need to learn to respect your mom and some manners. You don't live in a house with people and not talk to them, it's rude.
I'm rude disrespectful and have no manners wow. I hope that's the way my mum looks at it I hope she thinks I'm just being a little brat I hope she's angry I hope she loses patients and gives up. I hope she can't wait for me to leave good I'd rather her, I want her to think that. Then she might stop. I'm just trying to not hurt anyone but it seems that no matter what path I choose its going to happen I just get to chose how much I hurt them and this is the better way

What is your problem, what problem is it you're trying to fix by not talking to your mom? Why are you trying to make your mom angry with you?
And yes, when you live I a house with people, people who are taking care of you and you don't talk to them, that is rude.
Why do you not talk to your siblings.

From what I've read...you sound like my daughters friend....She's a whiny kid that nothing goes right for, everyone hates her, blah-blah-blah....

You won't talk to your mother and you want her to leave you alone but you don't get that not talking is one of the things that's making her like this towards you. Then you complain that she accuses you of doing drugs but you do...so they aren't false accusations. Then you claim you don't want to hurt anyone but the simple fact that you won't communicate is hurting your mother.

Yes, yes...your life is sooo difficult. Right, I get it. At 15, you have the answers, the adults know nothing. You want to move out where life will be awesome!

You are in for a rude awakening when you actually hit the real world.

I understand you might not be trying to be... but the appearance of it is there. And all it has to do is appear that way to her.

Being quiet and keeping it to yourself is not dealing with it. You don't have the experience or the skillset to deal with it. The proof is you don't "get" why she doesn't give up. Your behaviour is raising all kinds of flags that you are up to something... including things you might not actually be doing right now.

Your behaviour is WHY she isn't giving up... and in fact... its a pretty good indication that she is acting like a good parent. And that she really does care.

People who care don't let people wallow in their misery and do whatever they want particularly when its self destructive. And what you are doing is self destructive... but you can't see that because you lack the objectivity that we have.

It takes an incredible amount of apathy to sit back.. and let someone do things self destructive when its clear its happening.

At least you aren't surrounded by people's like that... and one day you will understand how lucky your to have them.
I'm so confused I don't know what to do I should have never wrote this question, I don't know. It's lose lose. I'm so angry at myself I should have just said nothing. Talk about messing with my head

I'm so confused I don't know what to do I should have never wrote this question, I don't know. It's lose lose. I'm so angry at myself I should have just said nothing. Talk about messing with my head

So? You aren't the first 15 year old to be wrong about something... and you won't be the last. Parents are there to stop you from doing stupid things... or as least doing them as often. I'm a few more years you will be able to look back and see what we are trying to tell you... and why your mother is doing what she does.

Assuming you don't fall in with the drug users and end up living to get your next fix until you get a hot one and your life ends rather abruptly.

Kids that act in this manner. Are seriously at risk of doing exactly that. Its not just about yesterday or even today... but tomorrow as well.

Most teenagers think they have all the answers to everything.....they all find out how wrong they were when they first move out and have to support themselves .....meaning paying rent, food, utilities and everything. Working part time and living at home with mom...is nothing like life in the real world as an adult. You have it easy as a teen....life as an adult is very unforgiving. You do what you have to do..even when your don't want to do it.

Don't and you get fired....do that enough and nobody will hire you...without an income you don't have a place to live..or food to eat...and you are sitting on the street begging for money....and at risk for some serious abuse....I don't know or haven't noticed if yuo and a boy or girl.....but homeless on the streets as a girl puts you at serious risk of abuse, as a young person of either gender....that includes rape.

Want stress?.....worry about being one step away from being jobless and homeless as an adult. Compared to that a 15 years olds problems are nothing. And you will think this as well in a few years. If you aren't being sexually abused or physically beaten....then the problems are really unimportant. There are lots of kids of all ages that those are a fact of life.

Perspective can be a usefull tool to keep you grounded in whats important and what isn't at any age.

From what I've read...you sound like my daughters friend....She's a whiny kid that nothing goes right for, everyone hates her, blah-blah-blah....

You won't talk to your mother and you want her to leave you alone but you don't get that not talking is one of the things that's making her like this towards you. Then you complain that she accuses you of doing drugs but you do...so they aren't false accusations. Then you claim you don't want to hurt anyone but the simple fact that you won't communicate is hurting your mother.

Yes, yes...your life is sooo difficult. Right, I get it. At 15, you have the answers, the adults know nothing. You want to move out where life will be awesome!

You are in for a rude awakening when you actually hit the real world.
You don't know me you think I don't know what the world is like you would be surprised how much you hear and see when you stop when people forget your around. I don't usually wine or complain I don't talk! I came here for advise because I couldn't handle it any more to vent I suppose. I don't have all the answers if I did I wouldn't have came to this sight why is everyone so quick to judge me?

So? You aren't the first 15 year old to be wrong about something... and you won't be the last. Parents are there to stop you from doing stupid things... or as least doing them as often. I'm a few more years you will be able to look back and see what we are trying to tell you... and why your mother is doing what she does.

Assuming you don't fall in with the drug users and end up living to get your next fix until you get a hot one and your life ends rather abruptly.

Kids that act in this manner. Are seriously at risk of doing exactly that. Its not just about yesterday or even today... but tomorrow as well.

Most teenagers think they have all the answers to everything.....they all find out how wrong they were when they first move out and have to support themselves .....meaning paying rent, food, utilities and everything. Working part time and living at home with mom...is nothing like life in the real world as an adult.
I'm not a drug user I was in pain so I took more pills that I should have it felt good wanted to know if it could harm me was curious that is all I don't even smoke I don't drink anymore nothing I've learnt what happens when u do stuff that you shouldn't just was curious made me feel a little numb for a while. I hear what my mother goes through being an adult I know the real world is hard that's why I don't burden her with my stuff

I'm so confused I don't know what to do I should have never wrote this question, I don't know. It's lose lose. I'm so angry at myself I should have just said nothing. Talk about messing with my head

You wrote the question because you need help. It's why anyone asks for our advice. Just sometimes they aren't ready for the responses and they lash out. Most stop and think and listen. It may take a few days or weeks or months. But they do and we are still here for them.

You see this as a 'lose/lose' situation and it isn't. You have the ability to turn it into a winning one. Sure things might be rougher for a while but the path isn't very smooth right now, is it?

Look at how your thoughts, as expressed to us, have already changed. You started off telling us you "hate" your mother. Now, you tell us you are trying to protect her and yourself. Here's the thing, it is her job to protect you whether you like it or not. It is not your job to protect her. She cannot help you or give you support if you shut her out.

If you don't know how to open up to her and let her try to help, you might think about letting her read this thread. Sure she might get upset, but she probably already thinks there is a lot worse going on.

I don't know what all is going through your mind, but most of us have been there, done that and have the t-shirt, hat and bag to prove it. You may not be ready for this thought, but your mother probably has too. Give her a chance to help.

I'm not a drug user I was in pain so I took more pills that I should have it felt good wanted to know if it could harm me was curious that is all I don't even smoke I don't drink anymore nothing I've learnt what happens when u do stuff that you shouldn't just was curious made me feel a little numb for a while. I hear what my mother goes through being an adult I know the real world is hard that's why I don't burden her with my stuff

And those are exactly some of the types of things that result in withdrawn behaviour... I'm glad that you say you don't do them... but the fact is as I said... appearance is everything.

So what do you do... you talk to your mom... without your sister around. You could even show her this thread. But you aren't going to "fix this" on your own.

Nobody is judging you. What did you expect from 6 hours of beetching... I mean venting, about everything and everybody? I mean YOU hate everything. YOU said so... for 6 hours!!

Does your sibling get the same treatment as you? Is she older? How does SHE deal with it?

And those are exactly some of the types of things that result in withdrawn behaviour... I'm glad that you say you don't do them... but the fact is as I said... appearance is everything.

So what do you do... you talk to your mom... without your sister around. You could even show her this thread. But you aren't going to "fix this" on your own.
I don't know if I can speak to her, without breaking down or anyone if it was that easy I wouldn't have stopped talking. I haven't spoken in ages and to be honest I don't really want to I'm scared to if I could just act normal I'm such an idiot, I should have just acted normal and she would have never harassed me I get stupid me

I don't know if I can speak to her, without breaking down
And maybe that's okay. I'm guessing she just might break down too, as you two talk heart to heart.

Speaking to and breaking down with your mom is OK. She loves you and will understand. Give her some credit.

Nobody is judging you. What did you expect from 6 hours of beetching... I mean venting, about everything and everybody? I mean YOU hate everything. YOU said so... for 6 hours!!

Does your sibling get the same treatment as you? Is she older? How does SHE deal with it?
Your right I have done nothing but poor me I understand I haven't really thought about everyone around me I'm just as bad as my friends talking behind their backs. I don't hate everyone I guess I'm just angry with myself. I apologise for getting angry when you have just been trying to help. My sister is younger than me her and mum get along great it's not like I didn't get along with them either its just hard to explain

I don't know if I can speak to her, without breaking down or anyone if it was that easy I wouldn't have stopped talking. I haven't spoken in ages and to be honest I don't really want to I'm scared to if I could just act normal I'm such an idiot, I should have just acted normal and she would have never harassed me I get stupid me

To me, this is the best thing you have said all day...it shows me that you seem to be getting it...

You know what? It's ok if you break down when talking...it really is. You're human. Talk to her and see how things go. I think you can do it.

Now why would you be mad at yourself? I bet your mom is scared out of her wits her daughter is so unhappy and angry, but she is helpless to help. We often don't see the effects we have on others and maybe you are scaring your mom because she has no clue what's on your mind.

Where is your dad?

Now why would you be mad at yourself? I bet your mom is scared out of her wits her daughter is so unhappy and angry, but she is helpless to help. We often don't see the effects we have on others and maybe you are scaring your mom because she has no clue what's on your mind.

Where is your dad?
I'm mad at myself for thinking that if I didn't talk then mum would never know that everything would be OK I'm mad for not being strong enough to be normal for not being able to talk and push things aside and be strong enough to not let her see.if I start talking maybe I can be strong enough to not let her see to be normal to apologise lie say I was just being stupid to hurt her. My dad does not live with us they are divorced he lives in a different state with his new wife and my new little sister

I don't know if I can speak to her, without breaking down or anyone if it was that easy I wouldn't have stopped talking. I haven't spoken in ages and to be honest I don't really want to I'm scared to if I could just act normal I'm such an idiot, I should have just acted normal and she would have never harassed me I get stupid me

You know if that going to be the hardest thing you will have to do... you will have actually lived a charmed life. The more you sit and think about it... the easier it is to convince yourself its going to be hard to do. Sometimes a person can be their own wost enemy. This is one of those times. Talk to your mom... and if you break down, then you do... its not a huge deal... like I said.. if you think this is hard... Try losing a parent or sibling Nothing is harder than that except losing your own child. Perspective... like I said. Compared to that... this will be easy.

You know if that going to be the hardest thing you will have to do... you will have actually lived a charmed life. The more you sit and think about it... the easier it is to convince yourself its going to be hard to do. Sometimes a person can be their own wost enemy. This is one of those times. Talk to your mom... and if you break down, then you do... its not a huge deal... like I said.. if you think this is hard... Try losing a parent or sibling Nothing is harder than that except losing your own child. Perspective... like I said. Compared to that... this will be easy.
When you put it like that I can't imagine how I would feel if I lost my mum or sister. But I just don't know if I have the courage to tell her the truth I don't think I ready to. I will try to speak with her later I have to go to school soon, I know I don't want to hurt her any more I realise that now but how do you tell someone something so bad that it disgusts you to even think about it and you know that person will be so mad and hurt, I don't know thanks for the advise helped a lot maybe I can get some sleep tonight when I get home from school fingers crossed

Be less stress if you were NOT afraid to talk to your mom, and less anger too. A little COURAGE will go a lot further than fear.

I can't do it, I can't speak to her I came home early cause I had a study block. I gave mum a hug and she started crying I couldn't even look at her I had to walk away if she cries when I hug her it's only going to get worse if I talk to her. I don't want to do this to her, I'm so confused think I need sleep but I know that's not going to happen. I'd rather her just think I'm being a brat why can't she just be mad at me and ignore me instead of wanting to talk. I know you said it's because she cares but she shouldn'tshouldn't

So? Grow a spine and do it. Part of growing up is doing things you don't WANT to do... but HAVE to do. Consider it one step in many of growing up. You aren't a child any more...but you aren't an adult yet either. Look forward...not backward.

Did something happen to you that you are afraid to tell her about?
This will only get worse if you don't open up and tell her about it. As hard as it is to talk about, it will be a relief when it is finally off your chest

Perhaps she was crying because she was happy. You think her crying right now is bad? It will be worse if you hugged her, she cried, you walked away, and then continued doing what you were doing before. Move forward. Grow some balls and do it. It will be hard to do but it will get better.

I gave mum a hug and she started crying I couldn't even look at her I had to walk away if she cries when I hug her it's only going to get worse if I talk to her. I don't want to do this to her
This is EXACTLY what both of you need. I'm a mom and am guessing she is so happily surprised with the hug you gave her. Her tears (and yours too) will be tears of relief, not of upset.

I don't even know if I can talk my voice sound all funny and my throat is all scratchy and he's here now so I think I'll leave it for today.grow some balls if only it was as easy not that I imagine that would be easy. I know I just have to talk to her say sorry and move on right shouldn't be to hard god I need sleep my head feels scrambled.

Talk to your mom and get it over with. At least it will be off your chest and it may not be as bad as you think.

Seriously there must be something wrong with me it's easy to sit here and type and listen to what strangers have to say but I can't walk down stairs and talk to my mum I'm not scared of talking to her it's just that I don't trust myself to only say what she needs to hear. It's times like this I wished I smoked or something just to make it all go away.

Say what needs to be say. Don't over think or analyze it, just say it.

I don't need to say anything I'm quiet happy to be silent for the rest of my life I actually like the quiet. I don't speak because I don't want her to know certain things she can't know it would hurt her. But I don't want to hurt her by not speaking and obviously from what you have all said it I am, so if I talk to her I just don't know how to do I just say hi mum how's it going I know she's going to want to ask me things and I don't like lying to her that's why it's easier not to speak. How do you start a conversation after not speaking to anyone for months confused

he's here now

Who?


I'm not scared of talking to her it's just that I don't trust myself to only say what she needs to hear.

That's not the point of heartfelt HONESTY, that deceptive.


It's times like this I wished I smoked or something just to make it all go away.

You already are making an excuse to avoid doing the hard things you don't want to but should, and looking for the easy way out that will solve nothing. That's not the kind of thinking you need. Everybody I think looks for an easier way to do a difficult tasks but those kinds of tactics are but avoidance and never resolve anything except to delay doing the right thing.

Its like killing the pain, and hoping it doesn't come back. You know it will.

Don't be angry with your mom, she is probably trying to help you, like most moms do.
She prob. Went through the same as you, that is why she wants to help you out... her mom prob. Did the same thing.
Just relax, take deep breaths, love your mom... and...
You will enjoy life more...
:)
Maybe, praying to God might help! :)

If you do what you are meant to do, stay out of everyone else business and talk to your parents and friends about everything and they will be able to help you out.
Friends will help you out if you listen and talk to them... just remember... just relax, take deep breaths, love your mom and talk to her, and enjoy life :)

Who?



That's not the point of heartfelt HONESTY, that deceptive.



You already are making an excuse to avoid doing the hard things you don't want to but should, and looking for the easy way out that will solve nothing. That's not the kind of thinking you need. Everybody I think looks for an easier way to do a difficult tasks but those kinds of tactics are but avoidance and never resolve anything except to delay doing the right thing.

Its like killing the pain, and hoping it doesn't come back. You know it will.
He is my mothers partner. The reason I don't speak is because I simply don't have to be deceptive or lie but it seems from everybody's advise that that is not the way to go either so I'll sit here and think. Maybe she won't ask me why I haven't been talking to her.Yeah right stupid me now I think about it I just created this mess all myself if I could have just acted normal

It's hard to try and find a way out of this, I will just talk to her but if she wants to know why I'm telling her I'm just a rude disrespectful hormonal teenager who couldn't deal with her stuff and thought I'd make everyone else's life hell and she can punish me how ever she likes then everyone will be happy.end of story once he's gone I will speak to her

What have you done that is so horrible that you're taking yourself through all these changes? You are not smarter than your mom, you can't fool her.
You may as well talk to her and get it over with.

I haven't done anything, it's just hard to explain. I don't want her to find out. I'm trying to protect her I hate that it has ended up like this it's all my fault . I've sat her all night trying to think of what to say to her without being to open. I wish she was as smart as you say then I wouldn't be here. I need to just step out of my head for a while wish I could sleep

SHe'll only be more pis sed off the longer it takes for her to find out. And she will find out.

This is one of those times sooner is better.

I haven't done anything, it's just hard to explain. I don't want her to find out.
Find out what? Hey, we and you are anonymous here, so run it past us to find out how horrible whatever this is is. We're moms and dads, many with grown kids who've survived despite our parenting (and we have survived their teenage years). Give us a chance. We can figure out how well your mum can handle whatever it is.

Run it past us. It maybe something you don't need to tell her anyway so you're stressing out for nothing. Does it have to do with her and her partner?

It's him her partner I hate him he makes me sick. My mum and sister went away for the weekend she had gymnastics comp. I wanted to stay I had a soccer game on that weekend he said he would look after me. It was Friday I'd had a few drinks with friends was a little drunk didn't think it would matter mum was away thought I could just go home sleep it of he was so mad he slapped me and yelled at me j went to my room and he came up hugged me said he was sorry for getting so mad. He kissed me I tried to stop him but I couldn't I frigging hate him. He's always watching me touching me when mums not looking I lock my room at night so nothing will ever ever happen again. But he makes her happy she was so sad when dad left and she's finally happy now I won't ruin that for her. So I don't talk I've never said anything to anyone. I don't even know why I have wrote it here but I feel a bit better at least someone else knows

I don't even know why I have wrote it here but I feel a bit better at least someone else knows
Thank you. Now we understand where you are coming from and what is torturing you. There are some really terrific members on this site who will do their best to help you figure out how to deal with this and where to go from here. Some of us have been in the same or similar situations where trust has been broken and someone who should have been taking care of us or our child has broken that trust. Please stick with us! (***ADDED*** You are an amazing daughter!)

Was looking for some ideas to help me get some sleep. I'm lucky if I sleep for a hours a night and that's usually because I'm so tired I just pass out. Thanks

Some nights I cannot turn off my mind, my thoughts. Is that your problem too?

Some nights I cannot turn off my mind, my thoughts. Is that your problem too?
Yes everything just runs through my head I try really hard to read a book or listen to music but I find myself reading but not even k owing what I've read or hearing the music but not really listening. I've tried to just clear my mind and think of nothing but that never happens things are constantly popping into my head

Your mom might suspect something already, but I can tell you she will be more upset if you do not tell her this kind of person is around her daughters and has hurt one of them.
You need to tell her.

Your mom might suspect something already, but I can tell you she will be more upset if you do not tell her this kind of person is around her daughters and has hurt one of them.
You need to tell her.
If I don't tell her then she will never know, she is so happy you don't understand she was so sad when dad left and it just got worse when he got remarried and had a new baby. Then he came along and made her so happy she never use to smile now she does when he's around now I'm the only thing that makes her upset, and I understand why now by not talking to anyone I've made her upset. I know I need to start talking to her be a normal person I just need to figure out how to do that without messing everything up for her.

Lack of sleep over a long enough period causes stress and can even make you see things that aren't there. Meaning it will eventually alter your perception of reality if it occurs long enough.

Your happiness and well being is more important to her than he is. And just think how horrible she will feel if she finds out you did not trust her enough to tell her, or he looks at your sister. This kind of thing needs to be told. She is a grown woman and will deal with it better than you think, she will surly deal better than you are.
Tell her. She needs to know. This guy is a creep and does not deserve your mother. Do this for her.

The threads are now merged.

The reasons for the inability to go to sleep or stay asleep are as important as ways to improve your sleep patterns.

I don't know it's all a bit too much for me to deal with at the moment. Thank you for all your help you have given me even more to think about I'm sure I'll figure something out has been good talking to people has been a while since I've had a conversation. I'm just not ready to make her be even more upset because of me

Give your mother some credit. A man like this is a creep. Is this what you want for your mother?

I'm just not ready to make her be even more upset because of me
Not because of you. Isn't HE the problem? Reread what Homegirl wrote.

Give your mother some credit. A man like this is a creep. Is this what you want for your mother?
I just want her to be happy, I use to hear her cry at night she wouldn't even get out of bed in the mornings for ages. Now she's not like that anymore she's happy. Which makes my sister happy and I don't want to change that.

What if this man goes to your sister? Your mother is not that happy because she knows something is going on with you. This type of man will not make your mother happy for long. Do you really want your mother to be with a man like this? Don't you think she has a right to know what kind of man he is? You have no right to make this decision for her. She needs to know.

What if this man goes to your sister? Your mother is not that happy because she knows something is going on with you. This type of man will not make your mother happy for long. Do you really want your mother to be with a man like this? Don't you think she has a right to know what kind of man he is? You have no right to make this decision for her. She needs to know.
I'm not making decisions for her god I'm just so friggin confused. I don't think any of this has helped it's only made my head full now I feel so guilty. If I don't talk she is upset with me if I talk to her I destroy her life. I don't want him to go near my sister she is only 7 I don't think he would. How would I even tell her I just can't

Listen... if he actually did this to you... then your mother NEEDS to know because you have a younger sister that's still going to be at home long after you are gone...there is touching...and then there is touching (as in the inappropriate type)..if you see the differences between them, or are you hesitant to tell her because maybe that's not the whole truth?

Listen... if he actually did this to you... then your mother NEEDS to know because you have a younger sister that's still going to be at home long after you are gone...there is touching...and then there is touching (as in the inappropriate type)..if you see the differences between them, or are you hesitant to tell her because maybe that's not the whole truth?
I see the reaction I get just from writing a little bit of what he done to me and believe me what he did was more than just touching I just didn't want to put it all out there. I get you don't know me I didn't ask you to believe me just for a bit of advise. I hear what your saying about my sister and I never really thought about when I'm gone

When (not if) you tell her, she will ask him about it. He will have his own story to tell. Is that part of your concern?

I agree with smoothy about protecting your sister, especially for when you aren't at home, now AND later.

When (not if) you tell her, she will ask him about it. He will have his own story to tell. Is that part of your concern?

I agree with smoothy about protecting your sister, especially for when you aren't at home, now AND later.
I don't care what he says, I don't care what people think of me I never have, I care about my family. When dad left it was just us and me and my sister tried hard to get mum to be happy to be the way she was when dad was with us. You don't understand how hard it was to see her like that and not be able to do anything about it. Now she is happy and because of me being selfish and not going with them and me being stupid and drinking with friends and not being strong enough this happened. Then I thought I could be strong enough to not say anything but I couldn't if I didn't speak to him then she would know something was wrong so I decided to not speak to anyone to let her be happy she deserves to be. But I don't want anything to happen to my sister and I never thought about when I leave. But I'm not going anywhere for a while

I will tell her for my sister

I will tell her for my sister
Please let us know how it goes. We're on your side (and some us have been in your shoes).

I see the reaction I get just from writing a little bit of what he done to me and believe me what he did was more than just touching I just didn't want to put it all out there. I get you don't know me I didn't ask you to believe me just for a bit of advise. I hear what your saying about my sister and I never really thought about when I'm goneThat's EXACTLY why you should be talking to your mom... if he did it... she really NEEDS to know about it. People that do it...do it more than once. Meaning you probably were not the first...and are unlikely to be the last. If nothing gets said...nothing will stop. See the point I'm getting at?

Not trying to be mean..., but sometimes being blunt will really get someones attention. I'm trying to get you to see this the way you should....and do what you should do...which is talk to your mom to start with. And I'm not questioning your honesty...if this happened, the police should be the next people that are talked to after your mom, and by that I mean not long at all....meaning within the hour....not within the week or within the month.

Its going to get ugly...that's why I was saying make sure it really did happen...but if you care about your sister, you will do it....and think about how your mom would feel if it happened to both of her daughters....because you said nothing? One is bad enough...both is much worse.

I spoke to my mum, I told her about what happened. She cried a lot but didn't say anything I told her I was really sorry I didn't want it to happen she just cried I made her cry. I had to get up and leave her I could sit there and watch her cry its all my fault I shouldn't have told her. She's in her room on the phone now, I feel sick I want to throw up I don't know what to do she was so happy when I said I wanted to talk to her but when I told her god I'll never be able to get that look on her face out of my head. I just want to fade away right now

You did the right thing... she didn't know what happened. I said it would be upsetting, but would you rather have done this... or remained quiet... knowing your sister would be next when she was old enough to get his attention.

These types all have a preffered age range and it isn't the same for all of them... you are in his... your sister isn't yet. Think of the future pain you are saving your sister from, and the future pain you are saving your mother from if it had continued. That is an act that shows maturity by thinking of the well being of others before your own comfort.

I'm proud you found the courage to do it.

This will get easier after the initial shock wears off...

Remember earlier that I said it is not your job to protect her, it is her job to protect you? She will be upset because she probably feels like she brought a threat to her children's safety and well-being into the home. More than likely she already felt like things weren't 'right' in the house and now she knows why. Give her time to get over the shock and figure out how to deal with the situation.

As much as it hurts, you did the right thing. Be ready to talk to her. Do not shut her out again or decide to be the martyr and take back what you told her. Be ready to talk to a counselor and/or the police. I know that isn't where you want this to go, but that is where it might lead.

As for feeling guilty for staying home and drinking and putting yourself in that position, let it go. More than likely he was looking for an opportunity to get you alone. Until then you may not have realized his behavior wasn't innocent shows of paternal-type affection. Men who are attracted to young teens tend to be very good at hiding their interest until they act on it.

If you give us a general location (country/state/territory), we may be able to help you find support to help you and your family get through this.

As a mother, I am very proud of you.

One more thing if you will accept it: A big virtual hug. {{{{{Noon}}}}}

What you did was vey brave and I'm sure she is upset and sad. I'm also sure she is glad you told her. No woman wants to be involved with a man who would do something like that. This is not your burden to carry. Your safety and wellbeing is her concern not the other way around. Once all of this soaks in, she will get through it. You both may need to talk to someone one, but at least you are no longer carrying this.
I'm proud of you and your bravery. You did the right thing.

I'm with smoothy and Cat and Homegirl -- am so glad you had the courage to talk to your mom and tell her! Now, get back into the family by helping out around the house whenever you can, playing trivia games with your sister or reading to her (or letting her read to you) and just spending time with her, and giving your mom (and sis) a hug now and then. How does that sound?

I'm with Wondergirl. Get back into the family now. It will be a big help to your mom and sister. It will also make you feel better.

I'm with smoothy and Cat and Homegirl -- am so glad you had the courage to talk to your mom and tell her! Now, get back into the family by helping out around the house whenever you can, playing trivia games with your sister or reading to her (or letting her read to you) and just spending time with her, and giving your mom (and sis) a hug now and then. How does that sound?
I don't know it sounds good I do miss playing with my sister. I'm just not sure how to do that it's been so long how do I just act normal towards them.I'm really don't know how to feel at the moment you all say I did the right thing it just doesn't feel like I have, I know I had to tell mum for my sister. I'm scared she hasn't spoken to me yet but I haven't been near her either maybe I'm being paranoid I'm so tired I always wake up in the night I try to go back to sleep but I cant. I don't really want to be here I wish it would all go away.

I don't know it sounds good I do miss playing with my sister. I'm just not sure how to do that it's been so long how do I just act normal towards them.I'm really don't know how to feel at the moment you all say I did the right thing it just doesn't feel like I have, I know I had to tell mum for my sister. I'm scared she hasn't spoken to me yet but I haven't been near her either maybe I'm being paranoid I'm so tired I always wake up in the night I try to go back to sleep but I cant. I don't really want to be here I wish it would all go away.

Noon, you may have noticed that I dropped the 'e' off the end of 'Noone'. Let me explain why. 'Noone' is very close to 'No one'. You aren't 'no one'. You are a bright and beautiful young woman who reminds more of 'Noon'. A time when the sun is high and shadows retreat.

You have an inner strength that shines through. Hold on to it. Things may be rough, but you will make it through this.

It will take time for things to get back to normal but they will. Just talk to your sister a little bit more everyday. I'm sure she will be happy about that. Do the same with your mom. We will be here if you need to talk.

I don't know it sounds good I do miss playing with my sister. I'm just not sure how to do that it's been so long
I too was 15 when my little sister (my only sister) was 7. She was a very girly girl and like to play dress up and pretend she was a princess or a mom (with her dolls being her children) or a teacher (with her stuffed animals and dolls being her students). I remember playing school with her. She'd be the teacher and I would be the "students," using different voices as I pretended I was the teddy bear student or the Barbie student or the camel student. We had a small chalkboard that she would write on to teach us the alphabet and nouns/verbs/adjectives -- whatever she was learning in school herself. She would ask questions after she read us a story.

I taught her games like "Rock, Paper, Scissors," and we played War and Memory with a deck of playing cards. I would put evenly-spaced dots on a sheet of paper, and we took turns connecting them to eventually make squares, like this -- Dots and Boxes - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dots_and_Boxes). And ask HER what she would like to do -- even playing catch outdoors or identifying trees (maybe using a library book as a guide). And just do some storytelling -- "Once there was a beautiful princess named ....... who lived in ........" and so on (use lots of body language and appropriate facial expressions), letting your sister fill in the details as you tell the made-up story.

I too was 15 when my little sister (my only sister) was 7. She was a very girly girl and like to play dress up and pretend she was a princess or a mom (with her dolls being her children) or a teacher (with her stuffed animals and dolls being her students). I remember playing school with her. She'd be the teacher and I would be the "students," using different voices as I pretended I was the teddy bear student or the Barbie student or the camel student. We had a small chalkboard that she would write on to teach us the alphabet and nouns/verbs/adjectives -- whatever she was learning in school herself. She would ask questions after she read us a story.

I taught her games like "Rock, Paper, Scissors," and we played War and Memory with a deck of playing cards. I would put evenly-spaced dots on a sheet of paper, and we took turns connecting them to eventually make squares, like this -- Dots and Boxes - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dots_and_Boxes). And ask HER what she would like to do -- even playing catch outdoors or identifying trees (maybe using a library book as a guide). And just do some storytelling -- "Once there was a beautiful princess named ....... who lived in ........" and so on (use lots of body language and appropriate facial expressions), letting your sister fill in the details as you tell the made-up story.
Thanks for the advice it makes me happy to read how you played with your sister reminds me of when I play with mine :) I haven't really thought about all the things I was missing. I'm so selfish I can't even imagine how my poor sister has been feeling all this time I've just completely ignored her I feel terrible how could I of done that to her. I hope she will want to have something to do with me still. I have been really selfish now I think about it completely ignoring everyone, how could I ever of thought it was the right thing to do its so hard to try and not hurt everyone around me.

I have been really selfish now I think about it completely ignoring everyone, how could I ever of thought it was the right thing to do its so hard to try and not hurt everyone around me.
Okay. That's the last time you are going to say that. Bashing yourself doesn't do anyone any good, least of all yourself. Now it's onward and upward from here on. Let's be positive.

I bet your sister would love to do some of those things I did with my sister. Try one of them today and let us know how it worked out. I'm guessing your sister will be thrilled that you are willing to spend some time with her. And your mom will be happy to see her two daughters playing and laughing together.

Okay. That's the last time you are going to say that. Bashing yourself doesn't do anyone any good, least of all yourself. Now it's onward and upward from here on. Let's be positive.

I bet your sister would love to do some of those things I did with my sister. Try one of them today and let us know how it worked out. I'm guessing your sister will be thrilled that you are willing to spend some time with her. And your mom will be happy to see her two daughters playing and laughing together.
It's a bit hard to think positive at the moment it would be a bit more easier if I know how mum feels or if she talked to me. But I will block everything out and conscentate on being a good big sister I can do that.

It's a bit hard to think positive at the moment it would be a bit more easier if I know how mum feels or if she talked to me. But I will block everything out and conscentate on being a good big sister I can do that.
Yyyyyyyaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!

Mums not letting me go to school today I don't know why she just came into the kitchen and told me to go to my room while she drops my sister at school. I hope she will talk to me she looked really bad this morning. I said good morning to my sister and she gave me a big hug it was good I told her I would play with her after school today she was happy so I have that to look forward to,

He came here this morning I could hear him and mum yelling, I could hear everything I've never been so scared in my life I thought he was going to come up here but mum told him to leave. Mum came and spoke to me she asked me if I was lying she said she wouldn't be mad if I was why would she ask me that then she asked me if I would go to the police station. I told her I would I am worried about having to tell a stranger what happened I didn't even really tell mum all the details I don't even like thinking about it. She's having a rest now she has to work this afternoon. Sorry for keeping on posting on here I don't have anyone to talk to I kind of messed that up when I didn't speak to my friends not that I would tell them anyway, it's easier to write. I will get a diary write in that instead. I wish she had of let me go to school at least I wouldn't have to sit here alone thinking I can't even sleep I need something to do I wonder if she would notice if I went out for a bit I don't want to wake her

Don't go out without her. If she woke up and found you gone, she be even more worried.

She asked if you were lying because she needed to give you a chance to come clean if you were lying. That she is asking if you want to go to the police says that she does believe you.

Something you can do is come up with your own ideas of things to do with your sister. Catch up on school work if you know what they are doing and have your books available. Arts, crafts, writing, exercise, maybe look up Yoga and meditation.

It is okay to keep posting, but a diary is a more private way to get your thoughts out and you can share it with your mother if saying the words is too difficult.

Might freak her out with worry if you're gone and she wakes. But relax, as she obviously believes you, and willing to do what she has too to protect you, including going to the police, and making them aware of what he did. Big trouble for him.

You caused none of this, he did, and its being addressed. I would say its working out better than you feared. It's time to heal, for you both, for your whole family. I admire your courage, it had to be very difficult. Now relax knowing you have done the right thing.

Mums at work she said when she gets home from work she is going to take me to the police station. The thought of having to tell someone everything that happened makes me want to throw up just thinking about it now makes me sick. Mum said it would be all right she would be there with me but I don't want her to be I don't want her to know everything that happened she would be devastated she already is I can't even imagine how she would be after hearing everything. She will be home in a couple of hours I'm going friggin crazy being in this stupid room all day long it's all I can think about but she said I had to stay at home my sister is at my aunts house so I can't even talk to her. All this thinking is just making everything freak me out even more.

She's going to find out anyway... best to get it out now. He's certain to be facing charges... which means a court trial... unless he pleads guilty. It also means depositions and your mother would have to be there for them as you are a minor.

Just another of those moments as we grow up where we will have to do things we might not want to do... but must because they have to be done.

Your mom is an adult and apparently a very tough one, so stop underestimating her strength, and trust in it. She obviously is going to handle her business the right way for her family. She will help you through this and I think you are in excellent hands.

I hate my ing life right now I wish I was dead. I feel horrible I never want to have to do anything like that again, but guess I'm going to have to do it again and again. I hate how it's all up to me to do this I didn't want to say anything but then I felt like I had all this pressure responsibility to tell I just want it to be over. That I want my life to be over I can't deal with this . I've never been so ashamed in my whole life all the questions constant questions. I can't handle it I stole my mums bottle of bourbon I've locked my door and I intend to get messed up the end!

Now that is a totally irresponsible thing to do. This is not the route to take and a bad habit to form.
It will be OK. Stay away from the alcohol.
Talk to your mom about how you're feeling.

I don't care if its irresponsible I couldn't care less for once I don't want to have to think. Things will be OK what a friggin joke this is just going to drag on and on I'm never going to be able to just forget it well it I will drink and forget

You were doing well before that last bit... thats the wrong thing to do... its wrong for you, and its wrong for an adult.

Nobody WANTS to have to do anything like that... nobody WANTS to go through what you went through that made this necessary.

Drugs or alcohol doesn't make it go away... it only makes things worse. It doesn't make you forget.....it never does.

THe questions are needed for a number of reasons. To establish everything that happened... and to establish reliability and credibility of everything said.

Because you were being honest... this will prove it and is in your favor. Its needed because sometimes people intentionally or unintentionally because of emotions involved embelish, or leave bits and pieces out. Multiple questions over a period allow them to get all of the bits... and to average things out..and get at the cold hard facts. Again this is needed and works in your favor.

Remember nobody can change the past... but we all have a hand in changing the future. And what you did is save your little sister from having to go through what you went throgh. You also saved yourself from having to go through more of it in the future.

Drinking to forget is a very bad habit to start. What you did was very brave, hang in there, it will get better. You are also setting an example for your sister. Do you want her to think it's OK to steal mom's alcohol and drink? Have you talked to your mom about how you're feeling?

Do I always have to care of corse I don't want my sister to think its OK but right now I couldn't careless I really couldn't I'm so angry right now and I don't even really know why how funny is that that's how friggin stupid I am


Drinking to forget is a very bad habit to start. What you did was very brave, hang in there, it will get better. You are also setting an example for your sister. Do you want her to think it's OK to steal mom's alcohol and drink? Have you talked to your mom about how you're feeling?
My god my mum how could I speak to her I'm so ashamed she had to sit there and listen to that she cried and cried ing hell

Did you think that she would be happy that one of her little girls would have had that happen to them? Of course not... do you think anyone.. including your mom wishes you said nothing? Of course not... if you think she is upset now... how do your think she would feel if she found out it happened to BOTH her girls... and that it happened for years because nobody said anything about it?

Obviously that would have been far worse.

What is there for your to be ashamed about.....YOU weren't the one who did this to him.......HE did it to you....you were his victim.

I will drink and forget
But the whole situation will still be there when you sober up. And then you drink again? and again? Sorry but alcohol won't drown this.

I'm really amazed at how well your mom is handling this. Help her by cooperating.

Remember always -- this is for your sister -- and for other girls he may come in contact with. Like someone (I think smoothy) had said earlier, you may very well have not been the first girl he did this to.

And it's okay to be angry -- but at HIM, not yourself. He has robbed you and hurt you in all sorts of ways.

Do I always have to care of corse I don't want my sister to think its OK but right now I couldn't careless I really couldn't I'm so angry right now and I don't even really know why how funny is that that's how friggin stupid I am


My god my mum how could I speak to her I'm so ashamed she had to sit there and listen to that she cried and cried ing hell

Oh cut that self pity moaning and groaning out why don't you. It only keeps you from relaxing and makes you feel sorry for yourself and think stupid thoughts. It keeps the misery going in your own head. Cut it out! Take a long hot shower, and focus on the water on your face, and relax.

I feel like I'm going to cry and I don't want to I just want to let it go for one friggin night I know it will still be there but not for now. How am I suppose to co operate I don't even know what she wants me to do I can't even look at her. I don't even like the taste of this stuff but at least I won't be able to think

So, you have already started your buzz on to kill the pain and stop the brain? CUT IT OUT!! You are making things a lot worse.

So, you have already started your buzz on to kill the pain and stop the brain? CUT IT OUT!! You are making things a lot worse.
How could I possibly make anything worse really I don't think I could I think it will make me feel better

The human body has a strange way of fighting back when people use drugs or alcohol... right after the temporary numbness wears off from them... the body is even far more sensitive to the stimulous than it was before.

That's how it makes it worse... and doesn't help anything.

Its making you sound like an out of control troll. Not only hurting those that have befriended you, but also will hurt your mom to find her daughter in a drunk stupor, and breaking her trust.

No matter what you have been through, it's a BAD decision by a traumatized 15 year old, and you can do better than make a bad situation worse. Cut it out!!

I feel like I'm going to cry and I don't want to I just want to let it go for one friggin night I know it will still be there but not for now. How am I suppose to co operate I don't even know what she wants me to do I can't even look at her. I don't even like the taste of this stuff but at least I won't be able to think

Night time is when doubts and concerns become monsters waiting to pounce. Alcohol makes them stronger and puts you in a very bad situation. No Alcohol. No Drugs.

You need to start finding better ways of coping. We have given you several options. Can you think of something that normally grabs your attention and holds it? When the anger and frustration start taking over, find a positive thought/action to focus on instead. Banish the monsters by not giving them space in your head. It takes work, but you can do it.

Its making you sound like an out of control troll. Not only hurting those that have befriended you, but also will hurt your mom to find her daughter in a drunk stupor, and breaking her trust.

No matter what you have been through, it's a BAD decision by a traumatized 15 year old, and you can do better than make a bad situation worse. Cut it out!!
Fine I don't want to hurt mum and I don't want to hurt anyone else. I don't think. I can drink I anymore of this stuff anyway it gross. I'm just being selfish think about mum. Why is it that I always have to think of everyone worry about them it doesn't work anyway they end up getting hurt. I need help I don't know what I'm doing anymore

Another thing to share with your mom! You cannot do this alone and drugs and alcohol make it worse, so take that shower, and get some hot tea and RELAX!

Did the police refer you to any helplines or support groups?

If you give your general location (Country/State/Territory) we might be able to help you find some on-line resources or phone numbers.

In the morning you need to let your mother know you need help dealing with this. Be honest with her. That is the main way you can get the help you want and need.

Fine I don't want to hurt mum and I don't want to hurt anyone else. I don't think. I can drink I anymore of this stuff anyway it gross. I'm just being selfish think about mum. Why is it that I always have to think of everyone worry about them it doesn't work anyway they end up getting hurt. I need help I don't know what I'm doing anymore
Welcome to what its like for adults... and doubly so for parents.

Children think only about themselves... what they want... whats good for them. THey really don't understand the world doesn't revolve around them and their actions affect others... good or bad.

You are just beginning to understand this... but you are still used to thinking as a child. The older you get... the less you will do that. Your mother will have put most of what she wanted asside in order to be able to give more to you and your sister. So much you really can't understand right now... but in the next 5 or 10 years.. you will really understand how much. And you will feel ashamed that you actually felt the way you do right now.

Maturity and courage is all about doing what's right, even if its not what we want, and sometimes when it hurts... if its going to help someone close to us. Nobody is closer than family.

Did the police refer you to any helplines or support groups?

If you give your general location (Country/State/Territory) we might be able to help you find some on-line resources or phone numbers.

In the morning you need to let your mother know you need help dealing with this. Be honest with her. That is the main way you can get the help you want and need.
I live in australia in adelaide. I don't really know what they said or gave mum she didn't really talk to me much but ha you grt that right

Drinking your troubles away does not make you feel better, and if you don't even like the taste of it, it does not even make sense. You are opening yourself up to developing a horrible habit and as young as you are, you are asking for bigger trouble. Listen to those who know better than you. Do you want your mom to feel worse knowing you are now drinking? You need someone there to talk to. Ask your mom if there is a group of some sort you can join or talk to her.

Welcome to what its like for adults... and doubly so for parents.

Children think only about themselves... what they want... whats good for them. THey really don't understand the world doesn't revolve around them and their actions affect others... good or bad.

You are just beginning to understand this... but you are still used to thinking as a child. The older you get... the less you will do that. Your mother will have put most of what she wanted asside in order to be able to give more to you and your sister. So much you really can't understand right now... but in the next 5 or 10 years.. you will really understand how much. And you will feel ashamed that you actually felt the way you do right now.

Maturity and courage is all about doing what's right, even if its not what we want, and sometimes when it hurts... if its going to help someone close to us. Nobody is closer than family.
Well that's something to look forward to. I wish the world would go away right now I don't want anything revolving around me. Does it not get tiring then make you go mental always thinking of everyone putting what you want last because I'm finding it hard. I want to get drunk and make it go away but then I hurt my family and offend people who are here helping me so I won't drink anymore

It's time to start talking to yourself in a positive way, not negatively like you've been doing. It will take some practice, but I know you can do it.

I was going to list some positive thoughts to have, but how about if YOU tell us at least three positive things you can say to yourself.

Drinking your troubles away does not make you feel better, and if you don't even like the taste of it, it does not even make sense. You are opening yourself up to developing a horrible habit and as young as you are, you are asking for bigger trouble. Listen to those who know better than you. Do you want your mom to feel worse knowing you are now drinking? You need someone there to talk to. Ask your mom if there is a group of some sort you can join or talk to her.
I don't want to join a group and I don't want to talk to my mum about it I want to push it aside and forget and if I can't do that by drinking then I will just try myself. I had the will power not to talk to anyone for months so I can do this I just need to snap out of it I'm not this person I know I can be strong

Well that's something to look forward to. I wish the world would go away right now I don't want anything revolving around me. Does it not get tiring then make you go mental always thinking of everyone putting what you want last because I'm finding it hard. I want to get drunk and make it go away but then I hurt my family and offend people who are here helping me so I won't drink anymore

You night not see it this way yet... but when you are an adult... its natural to do things that way. You don't sit there and think... oh how I hate this, or oh how I hate that... you just do it because you need to do it. And it actually feels good to help others.

It's time to start talking to yourself in a positive way, not negatively like you've been doing. It will take some practice, but I know you can do it.

I was going to list some positive thoughts to have, but how about if YOU tell us at least three positive things you can say to yourself.
Three I can't even think of one thing at the moment. The only thing I'm still here for is my sister and mum. I don't want to hurt them

Three I can't even think of one thing at the moment. The only thing I'm still here for is my sister and mum. I don't want to hurt them
1. "I'm here for my sister. I don't want her to get hurt too."

2. "I'm here for my mum."

Okay, good. I KNEW you could do it! I want you to think of one more.

Three I can't even think of one thing at the moment. The only thing I'm still here for is my sister and mum. I don't want to hurt them
And those are good thoughts to be having, they will help keep your mind where it needs to be... not, I want to get drunk...

1. "I'm here for my sister. I don't want her to get hurt too."

2. "I'm here for my mum."

Okay, good. I KNEW you could do it! I want you to think of one more.
3. I should not complain there are people out there who have been through worse situations than me

3. I should not complain there are people out there who have been through worse situations than me
Hmmmm, a little iffy there with the "not" in it. Let's turn that into more of a positive. You try first. Maybe start out with "I'm going to...."

3. I should not complain there are people out there who have been through worse situations than me
Those are good positive thoughts and the last one is a good one and shows maturity. You will get through this. Your mom listened and took steps to change things. There are girls out there whose situation did not turn out as well, so your ahead of it already.

And those are good thoughts to be having, they will help keep your mind where it needs to be... not, I want to get drunk...
I wanted to get drunk because if I did what I felt like doing it would hurt my mum and sister I though that if I got drunk I would not hurt anyone but myself and it would help bunt I get it it won't help

Those are good positive thoughts and the last one is a good one and shows maturity. You will get through this. Your mom listened and took steps to change things. There are girls out there whose situation did not turn out as well, so your ahead of it already.
Thank you I apologise to everyone for being mental. I seriously need sleep not seeing things to clearly. I shall write down these three things stick it to my mirror thank you. Just need to get this stuff out of my head and be normal

Hmmmm, a little iffy there with the "not" in it. Let's turn that into more of a positive. You try first. Maybe start out with "I'm going to...."
I am going to be grateful my situation isn't as bad as other people's ? I don't know

Just need to get this stuff out of my head and be normal
While trying to go to sleep, repeat these three things to yourself over and over again. If you wake up during the night, do more repeating. Drive out those negative thoughts by overlaying them with these positive thoughts. The more you say the positive ones, the more they will become part of your "self-talk."

And smile while you say them to yourself!

I am going to be grateful my situation isn't as bad as other people's ? I don't know
Much better. And "I'm going to cooperate fully so this man doesn't do this again to anyone else."

I wanted to get drunk because if I did what I felt like doing it would hurt my mum and sister I though that if I got drunk I would not hurt anyone but myself and it would help bunt I get it it won't help

If you need to remember why you are doing this, and need to find some strength... look at your sister. And remember what you are saving her from. And other girls you don't even know.

That's something you can be proud of...

Much better. And "I'm going to cooperate fully so this man doesn't do this again to anyone else."
I know I shouldn't complain but I can't say this to my mum I don't want to upset her so I'm just going to write it then forget about it. I'm scared if I have to go to court I find it all very scary and intimidating, I've been in a courtroom on a school excursion they are big and so many people I can imagine having to sit there and answer questions that I find hard to even think of myself and he will be there he scares me the most he hurt me and I've had to pretend like it never did and to see him all the time I heard how mad he was yesterday morning when he came here he was going to come to my room he's mad and I'm scared of him. Sorry to complain but I needed to get that out

I know I shouldn't complain but I can't say this to my mum I don't want to upset her so I'm just going to write it then forget about it. I'm scared if I have to go to court I find it all very scary and intimidating, I've been in a courtroom on a school excursion they are big and so many people I can imagine having to sit there and answer questions that I find hard to even think of myself and he will be there he scares me the most he hurt me and I've had to pretend like it never did and to see him all the time I heard how mad he was yesterday morning when he came here he was going to come to my room he's mad and I'm scared of him. Sorry to complain but I needed to get that out
It may not come to that -- sounds like that was a jury trial. At first, you will be questioned by someone in the police department. Be sure your mom is with you so you feel protected (and yes, she will do that for you). I'm not sure how the legal system operates in your county, but he will be questioned too (away from you). Be sure you mention how scared you are of him. Of course, he is mad and will try to lie his way out of it, but it sounds like your mum believes you. Your mum seems to have her daughters' best interests at heart. Trust her and cooperate with her.

It may not come to that -- sounds like that was a jury trial. At first, you will be questioned by someone in the police department. Be sure your mom is with you so you feel protected (and yes, she will do that for you). I'm not sure how the legal system operates in your county, but he will be questioned too (away from you). Be sure you mention how scared you are of him. Of course, he is mad and will try to lie his way out of it, but it sounds like your mum believes you. Your mum seems to have her daughters' best interests at heart. Trust her and cooperate with her.
I already got questioned tonight they took my statement then they asked me questions heaps of questions they wanted to know every detail god it made me feel so horrible they said if they press charges and he pleads not guilty it goes to trial and I doubt he will. They are going to question him and take a statement from him. But they said its hard with out any physical evidence because it happened months ago so I didn't have to do a medical examination and my clothes and bedding have been washed. Just have to wait and see

I just wanted to apologise to everyone for the way I acted last night for being so stupid and for the way I wrote. I don't know what I was thinking being like that. I can't believe I drank some of mums drink guess now I'm going to have to e plain that one. Thank you for snapping me out of it, I feel horrible today glad I didn't drink the whole thing. I am very grateful for the advice you all have given me and sorry I complain so much. Well I guess I should see if I'm aloud to go to school today, I hope so I really don't want to spend another day here.

Not aloud to go to school today mum wants me to stay at home. She had to go to work. What to do? I don't have any home work I just wanted to get out of the house take my mind of stuff at home.I might put on some music and clean the house got to do something. Positive thoughts all day today

Not aloud to go to school today mum wants me to stay at home. She had to go to work. What to do? I don't have any home work I just wanted to get out of the house take my mind of stuff at home.I might put on some music and clean the house got to do something. Positive thoughts all day today
Definitely -- cleaning house is a good way to quiet your mind, a very positive thing to do. Cleaning the bathroom especially calms ME down. And we'll be there with you in spirit, virtually scrubbing right along with you.

Cleaning the house is good. That is what I do when I'm stressed. Calms you down and your house is clean.

I am a bit worried mum said people from families SA are coming around to speak with me. The police have contacted them mum said they have to inform them when a report has been made involving a minor. I don't know what they want I hope I don't have to tell more people. I have a huge headache I wish I could sleep I think I'm going mental lack of sleep I swear when I was cleaning I thought I could hear someone call my name twice. My mum has some sleeping pills in the bathroom thinking about taking some. I don't why I can't sleep would be nice think I've probably had about 5hrs in the last two days I guess that might be why my head hurts

You are tired and stressed. Don't take any pills. As all of this winds down you will be able to sleep again

I looked up Families SA. It looks like they are going to be making certain that you and your sister are safe. They are probably part of getting you help so don't be afraid.

I am very proud of what you did. You saved yourself from further abuse, but more, you saved your sister and possibly many other young girls. That's something to be very proud of.

Now, I am going to be the stern mother voice of the group. I know it's hard, but you have to get off the pity pot. Drugs and alcohol are a coward's way out. They will only make your situation worse than it is already. So stop thinking that way.

So far you have shown us how strong you are by reporting this. Now, continue to be strong and follow through. If you drink and/or take sleeping pills, there is a chance that your story will not be believed by the authorities and this man will be free to do this to your sister. I know that's not what you want. Is it?

Your mother is crying because a part of her, you, has been hurt. Until you are a mother you won't know how painful that is. However, your mother is a good mother because she believed you and she is working on getting this solved. She is helping you, so you need to help her.

Right now the two of you need to work together as a team. Drinking, drugging and hiding isn't going to do it. You will only hurt her worse.

Rather than hiding this pain, get mad at it. Get mad at him. Do everything in your power to make sure he never does this to another young girl!

God I'm never going to get a whole nights sleep I took 3 sleeping tablets and I still wake up in the middle of the night. What do I have to do to have a good sleep? Have work tomorrow looking forward to going mum doesn't want me to go but I'm not staying in this house any longer.

I am very proud of what you did. You saved yourself from further abuse, but more, you saved your sister and possibly many other young girls. That's something to be very proud of.

Now, I am going to be the stern mother voice of the group. I know it's hard, but you have to get off the pity pot. Drugs and alcohol are a coward's way out. They will only make your situation worse than it is already. So stop thinking that way.

So far you have shown us how strong you are by reporting this. Now, continue to be strong and follow through. If you drink and/or take sleeping pills, there is a chance that your story will not be believed by the authorities and this man will be free to do this to your sister. I know that's not what you want. Is it?

Your mother is crying because a part of her, you, has been hurt. Until you are a mother you won't know how painful that is. However, your mother is a good mother because she believed you and she is working on getting this solved. She is helping you, so you need to help her.

Right now the two of you need to work together as a team. Drinking, drugging and hiding isn't going to do it. You will only hurt her worse.

Rather than hiding this pain, get mad at it. Get mad at him. Do everything in your power to make sure he never does this to another young girl!
God I just read this now I feel horrible I didn't think it was that bad to take a sleeping pill I just wanted to get some sleep

You need to go. You need some sense of normalcy in your life to get through this. Being cooped up is only making your mind wander and making you feel less than human.

You need to go. You need some sense of normalcy in your life to get through this. Being cooped up is only making your mind wander and making you feel less than human.
I tried telling her that! I need to go I don't want to lose my job and I don't want to be stuck here in this house. I hope she doesn't get to angry when I go.

I understand needing sleep. I really do, but drinking then taking the sleeping pills is not healthy for you.

You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and empower yourself. You can empower yourself by getting angry at him for doing what he did. Use the anger to your advantage.

Now, as far as work, you tell your mom that you just need to get out of the house and do something that is normal in your life. It will make you feel better to get some fresh air and it will get your mind off things.

J_9 is correct you should be angry at him and not question yourself. Get some sleep, without the extra stuff that isn't good for you.

In cases like this, anger can be productive and get the results you need and deserve. Wallowing in self pity is detrimental to you right now and will not help your situation.

Get pi$$ed off, scream, yell, get mad. It's appropriate, and it's okay.

I know you feel like you need to get out, but I also think your mom is worried for you. Talk to your mom and tell her you need to get out of the house, but don't disobey her.
As far as the pills and alcohol goes, as J_9 said, don't do anything that can discredit your story.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. What you did was very brave.

I understand needing sleep. I really do, but drinking then taking the sleeping pills is not healthy for you.

You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and empower yourself. You can empower yourself by getting angry at him for doing what he did. Use the anger to your advantage.

Now, as far as work, you tell your mom that you just need to get out of the house and do something that is normal in your life. It will make you feel better to get some fresh air and it will get your mind off things.
I didn't drink and take and take sleeping pills at the same time, and I didn't think about the way you put it either. I'm trying to be strong and think positive but it's hard when I can't get my thoughts tomstop. I don't feel sorry for myself I feel angry with myself and I trying hard to not think about it. I already told mum I need to get out that I need something to do to keep busy but I don't think she really was listening but I'll just go anyway I usually get p early on Saturday and go for a run then ride to work. I'll just leave her a note for when she gets up

Why do you fell angry with yourself? You didn't do anything wrong. You should feel angry at him.

Don't do anything against your mother's wishes, you should, though, tell her that you need some normalcy in your life. Being cooped up is only making matters worse for you. I know she wants the best for you and is trying to protect you from other predators, but she also needs to know that you need to get out and away from your thoughts. The only way you can do this is to go to work, go to school. Otherwise you are cooped up in the house with nothing to do but think about this. She should understand this. I am a mother and I would understand.

In cases like this, anger can be productive and get the results you need and deserve. Wallowing in self pity is detrimental to you right now and will not help your situation.

Get pi$$ed off, scream, yell, get mad. It's appropriate, and it's okay.
I have been angry with him I was angry at him just after it happened I wanted to hurt him but at the time I thought it would also hurt my mum if I said anything tso I pushed it away. I don't know if I can get mad anymore the only thing I feel scared of him and disgusted when I think about him

And you SHOULD feel disgusted with him. He is a disgusting child molesting pig! There is nothing wrong with feeling disgusted with him.

You didn't hurt your mum, you saved her from a world of heartache if you let this continue and he eventually did this to your sister. You didn't hurt your mum, he did.

Has Families SA been there? If not, she may need for you to be home when they show up. If they have, did they make any recommendations for counseling and other forms of support to help you get through this?

Why do you fell angry with yourself? You didn't do anything wrong. You should feel angry at him.

Don't do anything against your mother's wishes, you should, though, tell her that you need some normalcy in your life. Being cooped up is only making matters worse for you. I know she wants the best for you and is trying to protect you from other predators, but she also needs to know that you need to get out and away from your thoughts. The only way you can do this is to go to work, go to school. Otherwise you are cooped up in the house with nothing to do but think about this. She should understand this. I am a mother and I would understand.
I feel angry at myself for this whole situation. I'm angry how everything is happening I don't feel like I'm in control of what's happening so I'm angry because I made it this way. I never wanted to tell my mum it's only because I came here and you all made me realise if I didn't something could happen to my sister and it would hurt my mum. So I'm not brave for telling my mum I wouldn't have told her if I thought my sister would be safe

Has Families SA been there? If not, she may need for you to be home when they show up. If they have, did they make any recommendations for counseling and other forms of support to help you get through this?
No they are coming on Monday for a home visit. So another day I have to stay at home

I feel angry at myself for this whole situation. I'm angry how everything is happening I don't feel like I'm in control of what's happening so I'm angry because I made it this way. I never wanted to tell my mum it's only because I came here and you all made me realise if I didn't something could happen to my sister and it would hurt my mum. So I'm not brave for telling my mum I wouldn't have told her if I thought my sister would be safe

Right now you are not in control of anything. But you know what? That is okay.

How did you "make it this way"? You didn't. If he was a respectful adult he wouldn't have done this to you. You didn't do anything.

You are VERY brave for telling your mum. Don't ever think you aren't. It takes a very brave person to do something they are afraid to do.

You are so much stronger, and braver, than you think you are. Most of us advising you are adults and/or parents. We are so proud of what you have become considering where you started in this thread.

Right now you are not in control of anything. But you know what? That is okay.

How did you "make it this way"? You didn't. If he was a respectful adult he wouldn't have done this to you. You didn't do anything.

You are VERY brave for telling your mum. Don't ever think you aren't. It takes a very brave person to do something they are afraid to do.

You are so much stronger, and braver, than you think you are. Most of us advising you are adults and/or parents. We are so proud of what you have become considering where you started in this thread.
I don't feel OK not knowing what's happening. Thinking about what's going to happen and what has happened is all I think about even when I'm trying to concentrate on something all of a sudden I find myself thinking about it I can't control it and I angry with myself cause I can't control my thoughts. When I didn't talk to anyone it was easier I could push the one thing in my head aside I stopped thinking and just listened to everything around me and for a while I was OK.

I feel angry at myself for this whole situation. I'm angry how everything is happening I don't feel like I'm in control of what's happening
That's why we get angry - because we feel we have lost control of a situation. But what I see in your situation is that you indeed ARE in control and have done all the right things for yourself, your sister, and even for your mum, for now and for the future. We are all so proud of you!

so I'm angry because I made it this way.
NO!!!!!! HE made it this way. Stop blaming yourself, and like J_9 said earlier, get off that pity pot and continue to be that brave girl we have been admiring throughout this thread.

I don't feel OK not knowing what's happening. Nobody feels OK not knowing what's happening. I don't care if you are 15 or 51. None of us feel OK with that. But you know what... That's okay, believe it or not.


Thinking about what's going to happen and what has happened is all I think about even when I'm trying to concentrate on something all of a sudden I find myself thinking about it
Guess what. That's normal for anyone of any age.


When I didn't talk to anyone it was easier I could push the one thing in my head aside I stopped thinking and just listened to everything around me and for a while I was OK.

Be honest with me. Was it really easier? I don't think so.

That's why we get angry - because we feel we have lost control of a situation. But what I see in your situation is that you indeed ARE in control and have done all the right things for yourself, your sister, and even for your mum, for now and for the future. We are all so proud of you!

NO!!!!!! HE made it this way. Stop blaming yourself, and like J_9 said earlier, get off that pity pot and continue to be that brave girl we have been admiring throughout this thread.
How do I as you say get of the pity pot? I don't think what happened was my fault I do think about if I had only not stayed home that weekend how different it would be but I don't blame myself for what he did.

I feel angry at myself for this whole situation. I'm angry how everything is happening I don't feel like I'm in control of what's happening so I'm angry because I made it this way. I never wanted to tell my mum it's only because I came here and you all made me realise if I didn't something could happen to my sister and it would hurt my mum. So I'm not brave for telling my mum I wouldn't have told her if I thought my sister would be safe

You are brave. Being brave doesn't mean you aren't scared, hurt, angry and a lot of other negative emotions. Being brave means that you are facing those emotions and doing what you know is right.

I am very proud of you and the strength you are showing.

J is right. You did not cause this. He did.

Your mother may have reasons for wanting you to stay home. She may think she is protecting you. Calmly ask her why she wants you to stay home. If you feel like she isn't hearing you, write down in a short note why you want to go to work and school.

Nobody feels OK not knowing what's happening. I don't care if you are 15 or 51. None of us feel OK with that. But you know what... That's okay, believe it or not.


Guess what. That's normal for anyone of any age.



Be honest with me. Was it really easier? I don't think so.
It was easier until my mum wouldn't leave me alone kept pressuring me to talk to her.

You get off the pity pot by getting mad. Being angry. This was a man who was supposed to protect you, but he took advantage of you. You get off the pity pot by knowing that you did nothing wrong, but he did.

If I remember correctly, you had said earlier in this thread that he kept trying to touch you and would grab at you, so who knows what would have happened had you not said anything and he would still be coming to your house. And if you were successful at pushing him off, he just might have tried something with your sister, even at her age now. Yes, be very angry at him!

You get off the pity pot by getting mad. Being angry. This was a man who was supposed to protect you, but he took advantage of you. You get off the pity pot by knowing that you did nothing wrong, but he did.
I know what he did was not my fault I didn't want that to happen, I don't blame myself for that I shut my anger for him away I just don't have the strength to feel that again I don't see how it will help. I just want to be able try and forget it and do what I have to and I pray it's over quick

I'm going to work this morning I'm not staying in this house any longer. I'm going to leave her a note for when she gets up but I can't stay here any more I need to get out and do something. I feel good after going for a run its going to be an awesome day :)

Should have listened to my mum and stayed at home. Is it ever going to be possible to have a normal day. Had a great day at work until the end of the day then my boss tells me that they don't need me to work on weekends anymore I asked why and he said that they are friends with both mum and him and don't want to get involved and since he's not allowed near me I can't work at the deli anymore because he comes in to see them. I was so embarrassed how would they even know I bet he told them. I'm so friggin mad right now it's not fair I haven't done anything wrong. Just want to have one normal day. He's taken that away too

You obviously need a better plan than being impulsive and acting on your own without your moms input in your quest for a nice normal day. So run it by mom, and see what she suggests.

Obviously there is more going on than you know. Let mom help. That's better than finding stuff out and being angry about it.

First, Noon (I also like that name better, don't you?), I applaud your bravery. You were self-sacrificing and I am so glad that you are finally taking steps to normalize your life. I am wishing you the best of luck and hoping it goes smoothly for you.

As a person who has been very much in your shoes, I am really, really sorry for what happened to you. I'm still a teen myself, though, and I know only what it's like to want to be uncommunicative with your parents. I have no idea (like the other answerers) about how it feels to be worried about your child. Maybe this is why, so far, I have personally always chosen to approach (or non-approach) problems with silence. I never told my parents what happened with me, either. This was a mistake that I am afraid might have lead to irreversible damage with the way I think. I find that I still can't talk about it, even though they did eventually find out, because these things do explode eventually.

That's why communication with your mother is key. Please don't keep her in the dark from now on or ever again. She is a good parent and I can see that she is trying her best to keep you happy and safe. It must have been hard for you to see her unhappy, because you are a good daughter and you care, but remember that it is her job to make sure you are unhurt and never the other way around. When I was younger, I read a book called “Speak” by Laurie Halse Andersen. Maybe you will find it relevant to your life. I did.

I like that you're pursuing a part-time job. Good. Independence is better earned. It's difficult for you that the problem had to interfere in this aspect of your life. Again, I suggest telling your mom about it and about how it is making you feel. Maybe get her help and find a different job entirely, if you'd like.

You've managed your problem in a much more effective way than silence, but this doesn't mean it's gone forever. It's not going to stop interfering in other aspects of your life and your mind. Drugs, alcohol, and other substances are another way of ignoring your problem. You've got to realize that a problem is there and work through it, not around it. You've already started so nicely. The problem seems bigger today, but with the decision you've made, it will reduce in time, not grow. Why stop now? Why create a new problem?

Mind-altering substances work only until your body flushes them. After they are out, you don't feel the same way as before, but worse. Then you decide to use them again. You will feel worse, not better each time, and will need more and more substances just to get through the day. Fortunately, my parents never let me touch a substance and I have no desire to do so. But I have seen the process. It is heartbreaking, sickening, and goes only one way: downwards. In the long term, it will affect your heart, liver, and other vital organs. Not pretty at all, painful, and sometimes fatal.

But YOU are in a position to CHOOSE whether you will let it begin. From here, will you go DOWN or UP? Because once it begins, well, there goes your spirit. Do you really want to deprive your young sister of the wonderful, beautiful spirit that her older sister truly is?

You'll have to work on healing in a constructive way. Talk to someone you love, or maybe a professional therapist if you want, although it isn't entirely necessary. Recovery is a continuous process. I'm happy that you run. Continue exercising regularly - it's great for overall health. Find an activity you find particularly relaxing, and regularly participate in it. It doesn't have to be social, but that would be nice, too. Make new friends, turn over a new leaf, or repair old bonds if you'd like.

I want to finally emphasize that none of this is your fault. None. It would appear that your life has been stressful lately, but it has never, ever been you who began the whole problem.

Have you ever thought of harming yourself, Noon?

First, Noon (I also like that name better, don't you?), I applaud your bravery. You were self-sacrificing and I am so glad that you are finally taking steps to normalize your life. I am wishing you the best of luck and hoping it goes smoothly for you.

As a person who has been very much in your shoes, I am really, really sorry for what happened to you. I'm still a teen myself, though, and I know only what it's like to want to be uncommunicative with your parents. I have no idea (like the other answerers) about how it feels to be worried about your child. Maybe this is why, so far, I have personally always chosen to approach (or non-approach) problems with silence. I never told my parents what happened with me, either. This was a mistake that I am afraid might have lead to irreversible damage with the way I think. I find that I still can't talk about it, even though they did eventually find out, because these things do explode eventually.

That’s why communication with your mother is key. Please don't keep her in the dark from now on or ever again. She is a good parent and I can see that she is trying her best to keep you happy and safe. It must have been hard for you to see her unhappy, because you are a good daughter and you care, but remember that it is her job to make sure you are unhurt and never the other way around. When I was younger, I read a book called “Speak” by Laurie Halse Andersen. Maybe you will find it relevant to your life. I did.

I like that you're pursuing a part-time job. Good. Independence is better earned. It's difficult for you that the problem had to interfere in this aspect of your life. Again, I suggest telling your mom about it and about how it is making you feel. Maybe get her help and find a different job entirely, if you’d like.

You've managed your problem in a much more effective way than silence, but this doesn't mean it's gone forever. It's not going to stop interfering in other aspects of your life and your mind. Drugs, alcohol, and other substances are another way of ignoring your problem. You've got to realize that a problem is there and work through it, not around it. You've already started so nicely. The problem seems bigger today, but with the decision you've made, it will reduce in time, not grow. Why stop now? Why create a new problem?

Mind-altering substances work only until your body flushes them. After they are out, you don’t feel the same way as before, but worse. Then you decide to use them again. You will feel worse, not better each time, and will need more and more substances just to get through the day. Fortunately, my parents never let me touch a substance and I have no desire to do so. But I have seen the process. It is heartbreaking, sickening, and goes only one way: downwards. In the long term, it will affect your heart, liver, and other vital organs. Not pretty at all, painful, and sometimes fatal.

But YOU are in a position to CHOOSE whether you will let it begin. From here, will you go DOWN or UP? Because once it begins, well, there goes your spirit. Do you really want to deprive your young sister of the wonderful, beautiful spirit that her older sister truly is?

You'll have to work on healing in a constructive way. Talk to someone you love, or maybe a professional therapist if you want, although it isn’t entirely necessary. Recovery is a continuous process. I'm happy that you run. Continue exercising regularly - it's great for overall health. Find an activity you find particularly relaxing, and regularly participate in it. It doesn't have to be social, but that would be nice, too. Make new friends, turn over a new leaf, or repair old bonds if you'd like.

I want to finally emphasize that none of this is your fault. None. It would appear that your life has been stressful lately, but it has never, ever been you who began the whole problem.

Have you ever thought of harming yourself, Noon?
You say things will only go up or down from here how could things possible get any worse? And up well if things are going to go up I don't see it I don't want to talk about it anymore I don't want to feel any of these feelings anymore. I just want to curl up and let the world pass me by. I wish I was alone and I didn't have to worry about my mum or sister. I'm going to be selfish and stay in my room and not come out until I'm ready to and I don't want to talk to these stupid people from families sa or anybody until I'm ready to. I'm sorry if I sound like I'm being a selfish brat but after the last few days trying to have a normal day and not happening I just want time away from them all

Talking to these people from family sa is something you must do. They are not stupid . They are there to help you. Don't let all this be for nothing by staying in your room and not talking to them. That hurts you in the long run.

Talking to these people from family sa is something you must do. They are not stupid . They are there to help you. Don't let all this be for nothing by staying in your room and not talking to them. That hurts you in the long run.
I can't talk to anyone at the moment I don't want anyone to see me like this I can't stop crying and I feel like crap. I don't want to talk to them I don't even know what they want and I don't want to have to o through what happened again. It won't hurt me to stay in here I'm perfectly fine to sit in here and wait until I've dealt with this crying before I come out. My doors locked and its going to stay that way

Argh I just want to rip my friggin hair out those people came and I wouldn't come out of my room I told them to go away but they won't they said they will come back tomorrow and everyday until we have a chat. Why don't they get it I don't won't to talk I went to the police I told them what happened isn't that enough it's bad enough thinking of having to go to court. Mums pissed off said it made it look bad on her and that she's going to get my uncle to come and take my door off if I don't come out today and eat something. Why can't they leave me alone let me deal with this just for a little while I need some time

I am going to be very blunt with you.

Your mother is scared and she has a right to be. Families SA needs to talk to you to determine if you and your sister are in a safe environment. That your mother by her actions or inactions was not a party to the abuse and that you are getting the help you need. Hiding in your room tells them that things are not good and causes them to become concerned that the situation is worse than you have already reported. It makes them worry that you are still in danger if not from others from yourself.

They understand tears and anger. They expect it. You aren't the first and sadly won't be the last abused person they have to talk to. Give them a chance to help instead of making their job harder.

"Normal" is a relative term. Life will never be the same as it was. It will be better or worse depending on how you choose to react.

Get out of your room. Help your mother make something to eat. Get a long hot shower/bath. Decide that you are going to make a new 'normal'. You aren't going to hide because you did nothing wrong. You are going to talk to Families SA and give them all the information they need. You are going to ask them if they have any suggestions on therapy or support groups. Believe it or not it will help.

I agree with Cat1864, this is hard on your mom and it makes her look bad, like she does not have a good handle on the situation. Your mom believed you and took the steps to make sure it does not happen again. This is not easy for her either. Now come out of your room and do what needs to be done. They can help get you counseling so you can better deal with this. Hiding in your room is like doing drugs and drinking, neither of these things will change or help the situation.
Get off the pity pot and do what needs to be done.

You want your normal life back, then do the right thing and get this done.

An adult thing happened to you. That is sad because you aren't an adult yet. However, you now have to handle this in an adult manner. Hiding in your room isn't going to make this go away, it will just make it harder in the future.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to talk to Families SA. They will teach you the coping mechanisms you need to get through this. If you continue to fight them, there is a possibility they could take you away from your mother and put you in a group home or foster care. I promise, you don't want that.

You did make your mother look bad because she is trying to help you, not hurt you. Taking the door off your room is a very good idea since you can't seem to control your impulses. Someone needs to keep an eye on you.

God what's wrong with me one minute I can't stop crying then I'm so angry I just want to hurt myself and don't care about anyone else. Bloody hell I must be going mental. I don't want to get taken away from mum I love my mum and sister. Frigging hell I will talk to the lady from families SA today I'm just sick of all the questions questions questions. I didn't mean for mum to look bad I'm trying to do the right thing I just feel very overwhelmed with all these emotions it's asking me go crazy

Be honest with them. They will understand.

As much as it may feel like it, you are not going crazy and what you are feeling is pretty normal. Talk them and your mother about finding someone (a neutral person such as a counselor) who will do more listening to what you need to say than asking questions. You do need to be able to sit down with someone who can help you deal with these feelings.

Be honest with them. They will understand.

As much as it may feel like it, you are not going crazy and what you are feeling is pretty normal. Talk them and your mother about finding someone (a neutral person such as a counselor) who will do more listening to what you need to say than asking questions. You do need to be able to sit down with someone who can help you deal with these feelings.
I don't want to sit down and talk to anybody about my feelings I can't even look at people. It's easy to write on here I don't know who you are and you don't know me I can see what people think when they look at me. I hate the person I have become but I just want to be able to work it out myself. I don't want to be judged I already lost my job because of this I worked there for two years helping and just like that its gone. I did what I was suppose to I told the police now I just want to be left alone to deal with it. I don't want to get taken away so I will answer their questions.

Firing you was wrong. That could have been handled much better.

You can't work through this on your own--it's just too huge. I'm glad you will talk it out with a professional. Express your anger!!!! Cry, even scream. (Every therapist has a supply of tissues handy.)

Firing you was wrong. That could have been handled much better.

You can't work through this on your own--it's just too huge. I'm glad you will talk it out with a professional. Express your anger!!!! Cry, even scream. (Every therapist has a supply of tissues handy.)
I can do this by myself I just have to make myself stop crying and get over it! But I will talk to the lady from Families SA because I don't want my mum to look bad and I don't want to get taken away. I can make this go away I can forget about it I just have to stop being so god damm emotional about it and it doesn't help when everyone wants to talk to me and ask me questions. I just want it to all be over with

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is not something you get over on your own. Hey-- your mum is on your side and we are too! Continue being courageous!

You can't forget about it and make it go away on your own which is why you came here for help to begin with. Listen to the advice given here and the help from Family SA. These are people who know what they are talking about. It is Family SA job to help you. It's time to lean on a adult and stop trying to fix things on your own.

I spoke with Famlies SA they asked heaps of question even questions about my mum made me angry my mum never did anything wrong. Lots of personal stuff they wanted to know so sick of these questions. I have to go into their offices once a week to speak with a councillor I don't want to but mum says I don't have a choice. It seems like I don't get to make any choices for myself anymore I'm so over it. Now mum wants to take me to the doctors she thinks I'm friggin depressed I don't think I just sick of everything.

Your going to a counselor is a good thing, you need to go and your mom wanting you to go the doctor is a good thing as well. These people know more and better than you.

What happens when you go to counselling? Why is it a good thing? I don't really understand how this is going to help, I think it will just be easier to forget about it

What happens when you go to counselling? Why is it a good thing? I don't really understand how this is going to help, I think it will just be easier to forget about it
I'm a counselor. You won't be given the 3rd degree and asked tons of questions. I've counseled lots of kids/teens and first made a good personal connection with each one. I'm guessing that's what your counselor will do. Then the counselor will find out your strengths and coping mechanisms, plus help you figure out more.

It's the difference between healing and hurting because there is no forgetting. Haven't you suffered enough doing it YOUR way?

Mum took me to the doctors he put me on something called Zoloft not quite sure what its for asked mum she just said I have to take it everyday. I hate them they make me feel sick when I took the first one so I just pretend to take it now. Mum said I can go back to school today I'm happy even though there is only one week left then were on school holidays but at least I get to be there for the sports carnival today I love doing the cross country running.

The Zoloft is probably for depression and anxiety. (Hint: Ask your mom what it's for in your case.)

I'm glad you're posting again and are getting back into life. How far do the cross-country runners run? (i.e., tell me more about that).

There you go, trying to do it your way again, and not listening. Take your meds. Add a bit of honey or lemon and do as you are told.

Take your medicine. You don't just stop taking Zoloft and you are once again trying to do things your way. Obey your mom and doctor. Take your medicine.

Zoloft is for anxiety and/or depression. It is quite obvious this is what you are suffering from, and rightly so given what you have been through.

You may not have to take this all of your life, but it will help you get over what has been going on.

If Families SA finds out that you are not taking your medication as you have been told to, it is possible that they could remove you from your mother and place you in foster care because you are not doing what you are told and she is not enforcing it.

There is a reason that ADULTS are trying to help you. That reason is that you are too young to be able to do it on your own. Stop being so pigheaded and get the help you so seriously need.

I'm not trying to be pigheaded they just make me feel like I want to throw up and make me feel funny. God it's so frustrating I don't think I really need o take these pills. They don't make me feel any better. As far as mum knows I am taking them it's not like she watches me take them.I just don't like them.

I tried looking up what they are but don't really understand what they are how can taking a pill help? Just confused

They will make you feel yucky for a while but that will go away as your system adjusts. You are not going to feel better instantly. The medicine has to get in your system. Once again you are making decisions about things you know little about. Your mom and the doctor are there to help you. Let them. They know more than you do.

They will make you feel puny for a few days before you start to feel better. That's all normal.

As Homegirl said you are trying to make decisions about things you know nothing about. Because you are being defiant you risk Families SA to take drastic measures to ensure your safety.

Just do as they are telling you to. You don't know best, they do. As J_9 says, don't risk Families SA to take drastic measures to ensure your safety.

Why do u keep saying that "my way" I done it the way u said and it made worse I'm drank tonight and I feel good but u say its bad. I like to not think u make me feel so guilty I don't want to get thaken away but I don't want to take pills that make me sick I'm very confused I frogging hate him why did this happen I hate him he ruined mylfe I'm sorry I am. Somad f@$k everything

You don't want to take pills that make you "sick" but you are drinking alcohol that will make you sicker. That makes no sense.

I'm done here. You don't want to help yourself, you just want to wallow in self pity. There is nothing more we can do.

Will drinking is certainly not the answer, in fact it is reckless. Keep that up and you will seem out of control and your mother will seem like a bad parent. We have told you what you need to do, which is do the counseling and take the medication. You will begin to feel better. You don't want to do what you need to do, you only want to do what your teenage mind tells you that you want.

Homegirl, there is nothing else we can say or do. Noon refuses all help that is offered to her, whether it be online or in person. Anything else we say here is a waste of our time. We are better off helping those who actually want help.

I tried looking up what they are but don't really understand what they are how can taking a pill help? Just confused
What do you think would help you the most?