I've asked four of my male friends and they've unanimously answered "yes!"

If you agree, then should we even bother getting married? Can't we just live together?

If you don't agree, what makes you think you won't get bored?

Of course they would say that, but how old are they ? If young, they are only thinking of the next one and no thought to being in a long term relationship. Some people want, and enjoy being monogamous, knowing they have found their life partner, but sex isn't all that is on their minds, happiness and continuity is a big draw for them.

Some people don't want to tie the knot and that is their choice, it has nothing to do with getting bored with the same partner, it is a preference and their thinking probably is, why put a ring on it for happiness.

No, I don't agree with men getting bored with the same partner, it is a product of maturity and life experiences that puts them with the same woman for as long as it works out for them, married or not.

There is and can be boredom, do they use sex toys, do they role play, if they do it every Saturday night, only in the bedroom and always in the same position, yes, boredom can happen.

They can get bored of a different partner every week, and miss a emotional connection.

Every couple is different, what makes one happy , may not another.

Each person has to make the choice that is right for what they want.

Like many surveys your questions are biased towards a specific result and don't take into account a lot of factors.

First, why do you restrict the question to men? Women can get bored with the same sexual partner just as much as men!

Second, why do you restrict boredom to sex? ANYONE can get bored with sameness. It doesn't have to be sex , it could be meals, activities, anything.

Third, why do you think marriage is only about sex? While it is an important part, its not the basis of marriage. Marriage is about love and wanting to share your life with someone, even sharing the boredom.

There are lots of ways to counter boredom, even in sex.

Any one can get bored of a sex partner, but that's not the only, or main reason to stray. Incompatibility, and personal issues and conflicts can also have the same effect. I think it's the same for women as well as men, for just as many reasons though.

I don't see how living together as opposed to being married helps that but I suppose it's cheaper and easier to just leave as opposed to going through a divorce, but break ups can be just as messy and expensive as divorces sometimes.

Good point on the age. The men I interviewed are known to be very good in bed and very attractive. They are also between 36 to 45, two married, and two divorced. All have mature outlooks in lives.

I know 30 is the minimum to be considered a valid sample size, which is why I'm asking here.

As for a woman's perspective, I'll post one for women as well, Honestly, I hadn't thought of it.

My thought is if each partner comes, isn't that the ultimate goal? Does it matter how each couple gets there, whether it's the same routine, some variation of the routine, or a completely new repertoire? I do add novelty now and again. But my husband always want the same thing so, OK.

My impression is that men get bored because they're visual and used to having more partners than women. They can also separate sex and love. Therefore, they'll crave the excitement of a new partner no matter how beautiful or good her skills.

Or is it because their current partner wasn't good to begin with? That was the premise in the movie "Don Jon." I agree with the movie.

Do you agree that the boredom in the bedroom is just the last straw? If there wasn't so much conflict, that the marriage would still be strong despite the boredom?

I'm really interested in what everyone thinks. I appreciate all sane posts. Lol.

Women: do you get bored having the same sexual partner?

If so, why did you get bored? Was it the lack of novelty? Variety? Your partner not doing it right?

If you don't get bored, how long have you been with your partner?

Please include your age group: 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and up.

No boredom here. Age 68. Married 47 years.

Will I get a prize?

Rather than have two discussions on the same subject-Partners becoming bored in relationships-your threads have been merged.

The only reason I did not move this to a Discussion Board is due to its subject matter.

Rather than have two discussions on the same subject-Partners becoming bored in relationships-your threads have been merged.

The only reason I did not move this to a Discussion Board is due to its subject matter.

Sorry about that. I thought this was an adult site and didn't think this question would be taboo. I'm new and still getting a feel for the content. I'll be more careful next time. Thanks.


No boredom here. Age 68. Married 47 years.

Will I get a prize?

So there is hope for me? Lol. Hands clapping... :)

Good point on the age. The men I interviewed are known to be very good in bed and very attractive. They are also between 36 to 45, two married, and two divorced. All have mature outlooks in lives.

I know 30 is the minimum to be considered a valid sample size, which is why I'm asking here.

As for a woman's perspective, I'll post one for women as well, Honestly, I hadn't thought of it.

My thought is if each partner comes, isn't that the ultimate goal? Does it matter how each couple gets there, whether it's the same routine, some variation of the routine, or a completely new repertoire? I do add novelty now and again. But my husband always want the same thing so, OK.

My impression is that men get bored because they're visual and used to having more partners than women. They can also separate sex and love. Therefore, they'll crave the excitement of a new partner no matter how beautiful or good her skills.

Or is it because their current partner wasn't good to begin with? That was the premise in the movie "Don Jon." I agree with the movie.

Do you agree that the boredom in the bedroom is just the last straw? If there wasn't so much conflict, that the marriage would still be strong despite the boredom?

I'm really interested in what everyone thinks. I appreciate all sane posts. Lol.

Again, you are working from faulty premises, so your results are not valid. You still seem to think that sex is the backbone of a relationship and it IS NOT. The fact that you didn't even consider that woman can get just as bored as men shows your faulty thinking.

If you think orgasm is the "ultimate goal", then you know very little about sexual intimacy. The most important sex organ is the mind. And yes, "how you get there" does matter.

I suspect you have gotten your ideas about sexual intimacy from movies not real life. Hence your agreeing with the movie Don Jon. And your thinking that men can separate sex and love more than men can. If you want a more genuine perspective I suggest you watch the Showtime series Masters of Sex.

Sorry about that. I thought this was an adult site and didn't think this question would be taboo. I'm new and still getting a feel for the content. I'll be more careful next time. Thanks.

We have a wide age range of members. Adult Sexuality is the only board limited to 18 years old and up. We also have a division between Questions and Discussions. Since you do not seem to be asking for advice on the subject but rather appear to be wanting a general discussion, the thread would normally be placed in the Member's Discussion area. However, due to the more mature/adult nature of the subject, I put it in a board where we can limit the input from young teens.

On the topic of your subject matter, I have been married for 28 years 1 month and 4 days, approximately. I think a lot of people mistake contentment with boredom. They seem to think that if fireworks aren't going off every minute of every day that there is something wrong.

There is nothing wrong with relaxing and enjoying the more subtle shows of affection and intimacy.

Are you bored for a lack of sex, or do you think your partner is bored with you?

Are you bored for a lack of sex, or do you think your partner is bored with you?
Both. He prefers porn over me over the last eight years. Together for 26 years.


We have a wide age range of members. Adult Sexuality is the only board limited to 18 years old and up. We also have a division between Questions and Discussions. Since you do not seem to be asking for advice on the subject but rather appear to be wanting a general discussion, the thread would normally be placed in the Member's Discussion area. However, due to the more mature/adult nature of the subject, I put it in a board where we can limit the input from young teens.

On the topic of your subject matter, I have been married for 28 years 1 month and 4 days, approximately. I think a lot of people mistake contentment with boredom. They seem to think that if fireworks aren't going off every minute of every day that there is something wrong.

There is nothing wrong with relaxing and enjoying the more subtle shows of affection and intimacy.

We have affection in our relationship. Just missing the sexual part. Or the lack of it. It was just interesting that all of my male friends who don't know each other unanimously gave me the same answer. My question to them was why doesn't my husband have sex with me anymore? We weren't talking about my relationship. It was just an out of the blue question.

"Men cheat more than women because they have stronger sexual impulses than their female counterparts, a new study suggests."

I am surprised to read that this finding came from a new study. They could have just looked up any one of the many old studies.
The above quote is the conclusion of one of many of the thousands of studies that have been done of the approximate topic of your survey, and is from the article below.


Read more: Why Men Cheat More Than Women - Business Insider (http://www.businessinsider.com/why-men-cheat-more-than-women-2013-9#ixzz2wjsH6nf9)

No matter how much we try to equate the sexes, men and women are not the same Equal as human beings and should be equally respected certainly, but different instincts concerning propagation of the species, nurturing etc. That's just the way it is.

Again, you are working from faulty premises, so your results are not valid. You still seem to think that sex is the backbone of a relationship and it IS NOT. The fact that you didn't even consider that woman can get just as bored as men shows your faulty thinking.

If you think orgasm is the "ultimate goal", then you know very little about sexual intimacy. The most important sex organ is the mind. And yes, "how you get there" does matter.

I suspect you have gotten your ideas about sexual intimacy from movies not real life. Hence your agreeing with the movie Don Jon. And your thinking that men can separate sex and love more than men can. If you want a more genuine perspective I suggest you watch the Showtime series Masters of Sex.

I did post the same question after someone (you?) mentioned it but the discussion board added it to this post instead of creating a separate one.

My question is specific because that's what I want to know. It's a simple question that nobody seems to want to give an answer to.

I have sex so I can orgasm. Again, isn't that the point doing it?

"The most important sexual organ is the mind." This is not a philosophical argument. This is a matter of fact one. The question to you is, do you think that men (or women) get bored after having the same sexual partner after a long time? If so, why? If not, why not?

True, sex alone is not the backbone of every relationship, but sexless marriages is one of the top three reasons couples breakup or divorce. So it must be important.

You said I get my idea of sexual intimacy from the media yet you use Masters of Sex as a reference.


"Men cheat more than women because they have stronger sexual impulses than their female counterparts, a new study suggests."

I am surprised to read that this finding came from a new study. They could have just looked up any one of the many old studies.
The above quote is the conclusion of one of many of the thousands of studies that have been done of the approximate topic of your survey, and is from the article below.


Read more: Why Men Cheat More Than Women - Business Insider (http://www.businessinsider.com/why-men-cheat-more-than-women-2013-9#ixzz2wjsH6nf9)

No matter how much we try to equate the sexes, men and women are not the same Equal as human beings and should be equally respected certainly, but different instincts concerning propagation of the species, nurturing etc. That's just the way it is.



I agree with the article and, yes, men are more visual and have higher sex drives on average. I'm not offended that men get bored. I just wanted to confirm before I make a life changing decision. Thank you for giving me a complete answer.

I have sex so I can orgasm. Again, isn't that the point doing it?
No, that's not the point at all -- at least not in a loving, committed relationship.

What if one of the partners gets a disease or is in an accident or develops a condition whereby he or she can no longer orgasm or even enjoy sex. Then what? And what should the other person in the relationship do?


I just wanted to confirm before I make a life changing decision.
So you're really just looking for justification to file for divorce?

No, that's not the point at all -- at least not in a loving, committed relationship.

What if one of the partners gets a disease or is in an accident or develops a condition whereby he or she can no longer orgasm or even enjoy sex. Then what? And what should the other person in the relationship do?

I have a disease that is under control. But there was a time when we both weren't sure if it can be treated. Realistically, had I continued to remain disabled, we both agreed that we would've ended up divorced.

The reason I asked this question was to find out why he doesn't want to have sex with me anymore. Instead he prefers porn. We're still emotionally connected and we have fun together. But he DOES NOT want to have sex with me anymore. We're more like platonic bestfriends than a married couple. This has been going on for eight years. When he blamed me again last night, it was the last straw. He said he doesn't get excited seeing my body anymore because he has seen it too often.

So, he can still have sex, just not with me. This is all new and I'm trying to figure out how to deal with this.


So you're really just looking for justification to file for divorce?

One of his brothers was married twice. And both wives left him because of the same problem.

His other brother's wife has been threatening divorce for the last 15 years for the same reason.

To be honest, I don't know what I'm going to do. This is sudden but unexpected. That's the best way I can describe it.

All I know divorce is not an option.

I suggested Master of Sex because you seem to prefer getting your opinions from entertainment media and that is a more realistic view. Its not that no ones wants to answer it's that the question is invalid.

I suggested Master of Sex because you seem to prefer getting your opinions from entertainment media and that is a more realistic view. Its not that no ones wants to answer it's that the question is invalid.

I used a movie as a reference once but you're assuming that's where I get all my information. I originally said four of my male friends said men get bored with the same woman after awhile.

I don't understand why you keep saying my question is invalid. I didn't present it in an "If..., then..." format/statement. I asked questions hoping for dialogues and explanations. I'm happy that I've gotten some straightforward answers.

Thank you for sharing your opinion and answering my questions in your individual way. We don't agree with each other, but I appreciated that you took the time to write a well thought out answer.

Harshness Warning (Sorry no bright RED font)


Why is divorce not an option? Its not boredom you have described or alluded too but you buying into his reason for rejection that you know is absolute baloney. He isn't honest, just comfortable with the way it is but highly resentful for whatever reason. His porn has NOTHING to do with you, or yourself esteem, but his actions and I suspect your situation, the selfish b@st@rd.

Many couples go for long periods with no sex, either through injury and disease as WG said but what keeps them together is the minds are connected even if the bodies cannot. So if divorce is not an option then somebody needs to be told to shove their BS up their SB, and get over themselves, or get gone. And what's the life changing decision you are mulling over if divorce is not an option.

I have been married 37 years and BS is never a game we play ever. Brutal sometimes but honest communications is the rule not the exception and a lot of listening. Sorry if I am harsh, but make me understand why you take this crap from your room mate? Obviously your minds are not connected and sex won't change that. Go ahead keep blaming the porn, but he is the problem, and you are the enabler. Lack of sex is but a symptom of problems in other areas of the relationship that need to be addressed. For sure you have NOT worked together to resolve those issues to the benefit of you both, so please lots drop these discussions and surveys and get real.

Are you both going through some midlife crisis or what? Why are you allowing yourself to be blamed for his issues? So where are the kids? How many? Their ages please. I hate to be blunt but your every post cries out for truth, so lets get to it, and stop this dancing debate. This ain't philosophy class.

Your survey has no relevance to YOUR situation. But you can get answers and suggestions when you get to the point.

>Sorry,I know its difficult<

I have a disease that is under control. But there was a time when we both weren't sure if it can be treated. Realistically, had I continued to remain disabled, we both agreed that we would've ended up divorced.

The reason I asked this question was to find out why he doesn't want to have sex with me anymore. Instead he prefers porn. We're still emotionally connected and we have fun together. But he DOES NOT want to have sex with me anymore. We're more like platonic bestfriends than a married couple. This has been going on for eight years. When he blamed me again last night, it was the last straw. He said he doesn't get excited seeing my body anymore because he has seen it too often.



What I am seeing is a couple that gave up on their relationship years ago. Bear with me (this will seem harsh), you had physical problems and instead of building a stronger relationship that would have withstood a lack of intercourse/sexual contact, you both agreed that if your health didn't improve you would divorce. You put sex in higher position than love and commitment to each other. You may be friends but that appears to be all.

Now you are blaming porn and he is apparently looking for any ammunition to use in a effort to get you to back off. Have either of you thought about marriage counseling? Porn isn't the issue. Porn is a symptom of a much larger issue. You and your husband do not seem as compatible and emotionally bonded as you want to believe. Communication and working together as a couple to overcome a problem seems to be a bigger issue.

You say that divorce is not an option. So what is? Cheating? Getting involved with another male who is bored in his relationship? Leaving your husband and becoming celibate for life? Leaving him and having fun without getting a divorce?

His brothers are not role models for stable relationships and the emotional maturity shared by all of them seems to be rather low. It makes me wonder what kind of role model they had growing up.

By the way, there is a difference between asking for advice and starting a general discussion.

What Cat1964 said.

The initial question is easily answered with yes. Men and women will get tired of sex with the same partner. They'll also get tired of butterscotch pudding or cheeseburgers. They even might get tired of donairs too. That isn't the thrust of the issue though is it? It is what you've latched on to as the problem and are aggressively trying to figure out.

He's left the relationship. He's long gone. Whether you stay in the marriage is up to you. If you're happy with the way things are, which you're not because you had to ask this question, than stay. Enjoy the non-intimate parts of your relationship. It might be worth it depending. Otherwise leave. Get a divorce and find someone else that you connect with physically and emotionally. Might be better for your mental health that way.

Its was mentioned that "men cheat more often than women" like its some fact... since the majority of the population is heterosexual... it can safely be assumed they were cheating with women.

Do a very small handful of women have very carefully worked out schedules to allow this huge volume of male cheaters to be with them... and where are they... I haven't met many.

Otherwise it can seafely be assumed there are a lot more women doing it than actually admit to it. It's the only reasonable answer.

As far as if a couple does or will get bored... its all up to them.

THere are boring partners... and there are exciting ones. How boring and if they are boring is all a factor of expectations and willingness of each partner. I'm sure its possible some people might not get bored with only one item on the menu. Most like to have a choice of a few. Having a few choices doesn't require going to a different restaurant to get them. Unless the restaurant chooses to only have one item, and won't expand the menu . If it does, then the tempatation of going to another restaurant might become overwhelming.

Harshness Warning (Sorry no bright RED font)


Why is divorce not an option? Its not boredom you have described or alluded too but you buying into his reason for rejection that you know is absolute baloney. He isn't honest, just comfortable with the way it is but highly resentful for whatever reason. His porn has NOTHING to do with you, or yourself esteem, but his actions and I suspect your situation, the selfish b@st@rd.

Many couples go for long periods with no sex, either through injury and disease as WG said but what keeps them together is the minds are connected even if the bodies cannot. So if divorce is not an option then somebody needs to be told to shove their BS up their SB, and get over themselves, or get gone. And what's the life changing decision you are mulling over if divorce is not an option.

I have been married 37 years and BS is never a game we play ever. Brutal sometimes but honest communications is the rule not the exception and a lot of listening. Sorry if I am harsh, but make me understand why you take this crap from your room mate? Obviously your minds are not connected and sex won't change that. Go ahead keep blaming the porn, but he is the problem, and you are the enabler. Lack of sex is but a symptom of problems in other areas of the relationship that need to be addressed. For sure you have NOT worked together to resolve those issues to the benefit of you both, so please lots drop these discussions and surveys and get real.

Are you both going through some midlife crisis or what? Why are you allowing yourself to be blamed for his issues? So where are the kids? How many? Their ages please. I hate to be blunt but your every post cries out for truth, so lets get to it, and stop this dancing debate. This ain't philosophy class.

Your survey has no relevance to YOUR situation. But you can get answers and suggestions when you get to the point.

>Sorry,I know its difficult<

I agree if I wanted advice, I should stated that on the title. But as I read more answers, my feelings surfaced. I didn't mean to mislead anyone.

You're right. Porn is not the problem. I have nothing against it. I watch it and we used to watch it together.

I appreciate your honesty. I don't mind it at all.

I'm in my mid-40s and he's in his mid-50s. I guess we're both having mid-life crises. I see the end at the horizon and have to decide how to spend the last part of it.

The kids are young. Toddlers.

He and his family tend to shut down whenever there's a problem. In retrospect, the main cause of their divorces. I didn't think it could happen to us but I guess that's where I'm at. I don't think he knows he's doing it so whatever I bring up will be interpreted as hysterical no matter the tone. He's thinking he's providing a comfortable life so what's the problem? Why make it uncomfortable?

Mother-in-law prefers the divorces. So her kids will go home back to her.

I had a falling out with his mother recently. He's a mama's boy and tends to listen to her. She has told him to divorce me countless time in the last 26 years. Maybe he's finally listening.

Divorce is off the table for now only because I don't know what to do. I'm still reeling from the revelation. I feel like a truck just ran me over.

I know I'm not faultless. But he's like a wall.

Thank you for responding to my post, it took guts to be honest, and while I feel your confusion, I certainly hope you see that building a life that you enjoy despite the constraints of your disabilities and lack of sex will do you a world of good. Feeding your own soul, be it hobbies or new skills may gain you a fresher, more clear perspective and outlook on your own situation.

And a better strategy to deal with your husbands, in my words, being an insensitive arse hole. Material comfort pale greatly when not accompanied by the comforts of connections through the mind and soul, and that's what keeps a couple together, not just children. I think you have been a bit lax in defining the rules and boundaries of what good behavior is, that works for you both. It's the most crucial part of a marriage, or any relationship, being clear how much crap we will take from a partner.

I have read your other posts and can tell you are a nice person so figure out how to make sure you don't play into his game of being bored with your body. I had a conniption when you wrote it, and still wonder why you have allowed him to get away with it. Honest couples let each other know when a line has been crossed, and then deal with it in a healthy way by talking about it. Or else you may as well be comfortable without this boob around kicking you in the gut. He can do better, and you should demand better for yourself. No sex is one thing, no respect is a totally different animal. I feel its a control issue, but also relieves him of any responsibilities also, and that just ain't FAIR in my book.

May I inquire the nature of your disability? Only if you care to share.

I posted a thread on fantasies that a lot of woman might not like. (I'm a woman), but my past marriage and my current relationship have always been very sexual, also loving and caring and helping through the bad times. I had a brother-in-law express all the time that despite being happily married- he missed variety. His wife, found what she could do and bought porn and toys and introduced something new each month for a few months and weather or not, he still missed variety, he began to rant and rave and never strayed again (that I know of... he had before).

But back to my ex- lots of crazy sex and strayed all the time behind my back. Not all men are like this. I have a committed guy friend who explains it like this... I see the beautiful red-head walking down the street strutting her stuff- I smile and keep walking and attack my wife when I get home.

I guess my point is... you may jump through hoops and he still strays. You may change up your sex life and he falls back in love with you again and again. You may do nothing, but he chooses to come home to you. There is not one species of man. Ask your man want he wants? (one woman wears different wigs and lingerie, so he feels like it is a bit of variety, but with the one woman he loves more than anything!) Don't forget your guy may find that comfort in you and NOT want more...

Good luck..

... this is what I get for not scrolling to the last pages... sorry, my post is probably unhelpful. But, I hope I can come back with more thought and better input.

Just remember, no person is more worthy than another. Know your worth. I help rehabilitate persons with traumatic brain injuries---I teach them the same things, and sometimes despite mental and physical disabilities, they know they are worth more than what their partners want to believe. It always starts with you. We often must teach people HOW to treat us...