So what do you think of a husband going to happy hour instead of going home to his wife on Valentine's Day? Is there an issue with this marriage? What do you think? Thanks

Off hand I would say that it's not a great indication of smooth sailing but without knowing more...it's hard to give a real, solid opinion.

I think this is not a one time event if you are still mad about it. What else is going on? Please explain with more details.

I do not like to base my advice for an entire marriage on one event. More background is needed such as how long the couple has been married, is this part of a pattern of behavior, did he spend the entire night at the bar or did he go home to his wife at a reasonable hour, had they been fighting, etc.?

IF I base my advice on this one sentence, I think there is an issue if they can't sit down and talk about it.

Hi thanks for answering was thinking about it today it was happy hour at work and when he got home later that night he was online chatting with a lady. Which I found out the next day which means no real time for me.

5 year marriage

I can see this is going to be like pulling teeth....

So tell us....did you talk to him about this? Did you ask him about why he was out, why he was chatting with a woman, and who she is?

I'm sorry let me give you more details no I didn't ask him why he has been chatting. This is actually going on for awhile. He is on a site called adult friend finder and he chats with women on there. I noticed he was chatting with a woman on valentine day and every since. I guess I should confront him but I haven't yet. I guess he want to have an affair I'm not sure. He pretend not to be married.

Let him know you know, and it bothers you. Why has it taken so long and been allowed to fester in your mind?

OK but don't you think something is wrong if he is on that site. I know I should say something just wanted to see what was up with that

You would know that better than any one. Is this a recent event, or have there been other events in this 5 year marriage? To be honest you are very vague on the big picture or even if this is about one thing, or many things that have concerned you, and this is but the latest one adding to a bad situation.

How old are you both? Kids?

Hi sorry for being vague . I actually just found out he is been on that site after 6 months of marriage so he is on it 4 and half. Yes I have two small children 3 and a one year old. We are both 36. I guess the big issues for me is why is on this site. A married man should not be on a adult site don't you think thanks

If it bothers you then talk to him calmly about it. If all he does is chat and flirt take that into account as this can be easily(?) resolved through some honest communications, and setting some reasonable boundaries for good behavior that you both can live with.

Besides this is he a good husband, father, friend? If he is, then also factor that into your approach. I suspect there is much you have kept to yourself and be careful not to let it all explode out at once and become an emotional mess between you. Marriage is a constant learning the proper ways of expressing oneself through many nerve racking emotional situations.

I'm not going to beat around the bush. Perhaps this is a good time to consult with a divorce lawyer. Also see a therapist for yourself.

He is looking for a girlfriend and is advertising himself as a single man. It seems to me he's moving on from your marriage. He chose to spend Valentine's Day "chatting" with another woman. I'm sorry.

OK but don't you think something is wrong if he is on that site. I know I should say something just wanted to see what was up with that

I know if my wife found out I was on such a site, there would be big sparks.
Not a good sign. People on that site are searching for whatever.

Thank you yes carol he was at happy hour with people at work and after around 11 that night he was chatting thanks for your honesty. Catonsville I agree must be searching for something