My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years now. I have a child from a previous relationship and we now have a 1 year old together. While I was pregnant with our baby I was unable to have sex for the last few months of pregnancy due to complications with the pregnancy. Before that we had sex on a regular basis. Ever since I had our daughter our sex life is almost non-existent. We go for weeks without having sex. Right now, we are going on 3 weeks. I am feeling unwanted and unattractive because he does not attempt to have sex with me. Each time we do have sex, it's because I start it. Sometimes he turns me down when I do try so I haven't been trying. I know it's crazy to be upset that we aren't having enough sex, when I'm not trying, but I feel he should be trying if he is still interested in me. We have no other problems in our relationship. I brought my issues up to him numerous times and he can't give me an answer as to why we don't have sex often. He says he loves me and is attracted to me. We work opposite schedules so we don't have to put the kids in daycare, and I am a full time student. So we have busy schedules but still we have opportunities but he still does not attempt to have sex with me. I don't know how to say this without sounding cocky but, I am not overweight, I have my pre baby body back, and I don't think I am unattractive, I do get hit on frequently, so I don't think it's me. He comes home every night, I have no doubt he is not cheating, he is a great dad to our child and treats my first child as if she was his own, just this sex thing is an issue so I don't know what to do. Please help!

You have a one year old (not even a toddler) plus a three year old... that takes up a huge part of your attention... and most guys find a crying child or any type of distraction by a kid to be a mood killer...

Toss in the working opposite shifts and you attend school as well... I'm going to guess those "opportunities" are few and far between and when you do have them it's a "hurry up we have a few minutes" type events with zero advance notice... also a bit of a libido killer for most guys. They might be fun from time to time... but are the exact opposite the rest of the time.

The best way to connect the bodies is through the mind since the lust has faded which is typical and the love has to be nurtured. Opposite schedules doesn't help, and neither do two young kids. Are you on BC? Fear of another baby may be at the heart of this and you should know full well between work, school, and family, a minute alone may not include the same lust as before.

Your need to breed doesn't match his at this time, so don't tie yourself esteem to it out of frustration, rather look at the work of managing a balance of school, work, and family as the source of esteem and be grateful for what he does to make that work. It can't be a small thing at all, and a bit of gratitude may help you make the adjustment of less sex because of a lack of physical romance. Work and running after kids every day, can be a libido killer, especially if his mind is on watching out for two small kids as a huge distraction for the exercise of sex.

Consider that maybe he feels unappreciated for his efforts to family and that too can kill anyone's libido. Give the guy a break for a while as a 3 week lull in the sex department is nothing considering you went through this when you were pregnant, and now that you are not you, are raring to go, and he has more work on his plate.

Do you work? Or use birth control??

Do you have date night? A day or two a month, you actually date and go out ?

You should.

** do you plan and schedule sex? Sorry but often with busy schedules you have to.

I work a full time job and I go to school full time. I do the house work and the cooking. We both watch the children and play with them and everything that goes along with that. So sitting back and thinking about it, I do way more than he does in the every day to day schedule. I am on birth control. We usually have sex twice a month. Seriously every two weeks we will have sex once. Right now it's going on three weeks though. I just don't understand why he does not attempt to have sex. I want to be wanted and I don't feel that way with him, and I have brought it up to him and nothing changes. So I'm worried it's a compatibility thing, or what. IDK

There are no instant answers or solutions. You keep talking and work through the dry spells, and don't panic after just a few weeks.

Read the above answers again... we gave you a number of possible reasons why.