DocMia
Mar 8, 2014, 11:18 PM
Brad isn't the first guy whom I wanted to really worship his penis with... but he is the first guy to actually like what I tell him and we started dating a while ago, but haven't done anything too deviant yet, and we are both divorcees from long marriages and grown children.
My question/ issue is this... I get overwhelmed with a feeling of making him feel like a king. I guess, we could go back to Roman times to think how a king and queen might be to each other sexually. First, I want to make sure I always wear a dress or skirt when I'm with him- so I can go with out underwear so he can have access at anytime he wants. I try to feel "in the mood" so, I won't deny him ever. He understands that I'm human and this is something I want to do for him, but the worship goes deeper. I want to share him with other woman.
At first, he didn't understand. He shared a fantasy with me and I loved it and took it to higher levels. The fantasy was being amongst his friends and kissing me, then fingering me and then having sex in front of them. This isn't likely to happen- but I thought how we could make his fantasies reality. With my deviance and his- I suggested that he have sex with a girl of his choice and record it for me. We agreed who she would be and that she would be OK with a recording. With everything in place- he did it. I panicked all night and waited to hear from him. He told me a little about it, but I could tell that he didn't feel that right. I asked him for the recording and he said he would let me see it, but it took him a long time to finally just send it to me. The fact is... I loved it. Really loved it. After I told him how I felt, he relaxed a lot. I now watch the video several times a week and tell him that his penis is worshiped. And this is a part of the worship. I go on with wanting to have threesomes with him. I feel I am very ready for this, but he is still hesitant, but willing. The other day, a girl was flirting with him in front of me, but she had no interest in me. I didn't feel jealous, instead, I told him after we left, that I was wishing he would let her kiss him. I was wanting him to even grab her behind while he looked at me. I wanted him to ask her to a threesome, just so he could tease me a bit. The way I was seeing it, she was into him and not me and that was an opportunity for us to have a threesome, but one where I would be watching more than participating- I like watching and think it's a tease (and his fantasy is to be watched)- and after all that work up, being with just him would be that much better. He is starting to see that I'm serious, and he is starting to want this too. (why wouldn't he?) But, I'm wondering is this normal. Can it work? And can this be a great sexual life? We practice safe sex and have a no harm and no recording without consent set of rules, along with destroying everything if we break up. So, anyone can help me? I'm wondering if I'm giving him too much here? I call him a king, and tell him he should be treated as such and even have a woman (even if its me) lick his privates while he has sex, etc. Will this just cause an over ripe ego? Do you think I will be treated badly for this later? And how does a woman who believes in gender equality go sort of opposite with sexual equality. (not that I don't like these things, I do- it's just that the world dictates something different and I start to question everything) I've even suggest to him that his kingship needs a harem. A set of girls who might want to join us on a semi-regular basis, and if he really needs to have another woman sexually without me, he should talk to me about it and only do it if she lets him record it- thus sharing it with me. Too much? Need advice, please?
My question/ issue is this... I get overwhelmed with a feeling of making him feel like a king. I guess, we could go back to Roman times to think how a king and queen might be to each other sexually. First, I want to make sure I always wear a dress or skirt when I'm with him- so I can go with out underwear so he can have access at anytime he wants. I try to feel "in the mood" so, I won't deny him ever. He understands that I'm human and this is something I want to do for him, but the worship goes deeper. I want to share him with other woman.
At first, he didn't understand. He shared a fantasy with me and I loved it and took it to higher levels. The fantasy was being amongst his friends and kissing me, then fingering me and then having sex in front of them. This isn't likely to happen- but I thought how we could make his fantasies reality. With my deviance and his- I suggested that he have sex with a girl of his choice and record it for me. We agreed who she would be and that she would be OK with a recording. With everything in place- he did it. I panicked all night and waited to hear from him. He told me a little about it, but I could tell that he didn't feel that right. I asked him for the recording and he said he would let me see it, but it took him a long time to finally just send it to me. The fact is... I loved it. Really loved it. After I told him how I felt, he relaxed a lot. I now watch the video several times a week and tell him that his penis is worshiped. And this is a part of the worship. I go on with wanting to have threesomes with him. I feel I am very ready for this, but he is still hesitant, but willing. The other day, a girl was flirting with him in front of me, but she had no interest in me. I didn't feel jealous, instead, I told him after we left, that I was wishing he would let her kiss him. I was wanting him to even grab her behind while he looked at me. I wanted him to ask her to a threesome, just so he could tease me a bit. The way I was seeing it, she was into him and not me and that was an opportunity for us to have a threesome, but one where I would be watching more than participating- I like watching and think it's a tease (and his fantasy is to be watched)- and after all that work up, being with just him would be that much better. He is starting to see that I'm serious, and he is starting to want this too. (why wouldn't he?) But, I'm wondering is this normal. Can it work? And can this be a great sexual life? We practice safe sex and have a no harm and no recording without consent set of rules, along with destroying everything if we break up. So, anyone can help me? I'm wondering if I'm giving him too much here? I call him a king, and tell him he should be treated as such and even have a woman (even if its me) lick his privates while he has sex, etc. Will this just cause an over ripe ego? Do you think I will be treated badly for this later? And how does a woman who believes in gender equality go sort of opposite with sexual equality. (not that I don't like these things, I do- it's just that the world dictates something different and I start to question everything) I've even suggest to him that his kingship needs a harem. A set of girls who might want to join us on a semi-regular basis, and if he really needs to have another woman sexually without me, he should talk to me about it and only do it if she lets him record it- thus sharing it with me. Too much? Need advice, please?