I haven't done this so here it goes. We were dating for about 2 years. Everything was going great, we had so much fun. Her family loved me and they welcomed me to her family especially her mom. Around our 1 year mark she was pregnant, she wanted to get an abortion and I didn't, eventually I gave in and I regret that till this day. I thought our relationship would be over by then but we still together and we were stronger then ever. Everything was good up until recently when she barely calls or texts me and I had to initiate everything. I told her if she liked someone else she should tell me now instead of cheating. She obviously lied and said she loved me and how she has too much respect to cheat. I didn't believe it and started snooping, I got into her email account and found out she has been cheating on me for the past 4 months with her co worker. I confronted both of them and she didn't give me an explanation and guy thought that she broke up with me before dating him.

Pretty much the relationship is done now and she moved in with him after only 4 months. I've done everything for this girl, put her needs before mine and she just left me. I sent her and email last Sunday telling her how I feel about what she has done and how I still don't hate her. She replied with "I realized everything you done for me, it has not gone over my head and past me. Maybe I've made the wrong choice for myself I guess I'll have to stick through it and see, if I lost the only thing that ever mattered because I was selfish then I will live with that. I missed hearing from you and I'm glad you messaged but it needs to stop because it's not fair to you, none of this is. I'm sorry for all the grief I caused you, sorry for anything I've done and said that may have hurt you, or make you uncomfortable. You're a good man, and you will find someone who deserves you and can give you 100% of them. Maybe I'm too selfish to be with anyone for a long time, maybe I'm set up for failure when it comes to relationship, I guess we'll only see. Please don't message again, not for me but for yourself. Take care."

She seems real happy with this new guy. Even her family things she's making a big mistake leaving me for a guy she barely knows.

My question is did she really have any feelings for me because I feel used? Will their relationship ever work? I don't want her back because I now realize how insecure she was. She always used to ask me if I was looking at other girls and if she caught me it was hell but at the same time I want her back. How can she completely forget about me even after all we've been through? I'm so messed up.

I don't know how long its been since this happened but its only natural to feel hurt and betrayed because you were. It's been over a while and you were the last to know. I feel you, so all due respect, I will not answer your question because no answer can ease the pain, only time can.

In time you will see that you dodged a bullet and free of this lying cheater that was a coward to boot. I suspect the other guy will be in your shoes eventually as he was deceived and cheated on as well(?). You both were blind to her charms, he still is. Your pain is temporary, his is yet to come.

Mourn your loss and then celebrate your freedom. Be glad she ain't your baby mama.

Thank you for your answer. What I find odd is does she feel no remorse?

I was going to say that you are fortunate that her true character came into the light of day when it did, but tal's dodged the bullet" says it much more efficiently.

Some people don't have the remorse gene, she is ine of them.

What?? You expect a snake to feel remorse for biting you?? That's crazy. You had enough clues to tell you she was insecure, therefore selfish. And that's what insecure selfish people do, look out for themselves first and not others, by whatever it takes, including lying, cheating, and deceiving.

Its not odd at all. It's par for the course.

You're right all the clues were there, I just fell for her so fast that I completely ignored it all. Now that I think back there were lots of things she said and did that makes me question if she even loved me. As crazy as it sounds there's still a part of me that still misses her

You miss the good feelings and love. In time you will see the other parts you were blind too. You are hardly alone in that. I have had my share of blindness and insanity. We all have.

It does get better.

She may very well feel remorse. She apologized and asked you not to message her again for your sake. If it makes you feel better to rip her apart , go for it but realize it's over and move on.

I haven't spoken to her in 4 days, I'm not planning on breaking my No Contact. I'm kind of relieved that she's gone, she used to put me through hell and I stuck around because I loved her.

Then things were not as wonderful as you first stated. There were problems and you chose to ignore them because you loved her. She was always who she was and you accepted it. Now move on.

I guess your love for her wasn't enough for her to do the right thing by you. She must not have had the same love you did. You must have taken a lot of crap from her in the name of love.

First problem I see here is that "you did everything for her" and you "put her needs ahead of yours".

When that's happening in a relationship someone's being exceptionally clingy and needy. That's very normal to do for your children... but its not healthy for a relationship. Because you aren't taking care of yourself of doing the things you would normally be doing. If someone DEMANDED this from you... most people would be resentful... in a healthy relationship nobody needs to go out of their way, every day all the time. Nothing wrong with once in a while... but when it becomes a regular thing... somethings wrong.

Why did she do this? Does it REALLY matter why?. because its done... its over and nothing is going to change it.

YOU have to face that sometimes people grow apart... sometimes both do... sometimes its only one that does. When that happens you just have to put it behind you and move on with your life.

You will get over it... you don't have to forget her, and you probibly won't... but you won't be obsessing over her which basing only what I know from your post... it seems you might have been doing... and that's not an endearing thing to most people.

She was trying to be nice and tactful in her last message to you. She could have been mean but she wasn't. Take her at her word and move on. Don't contact her again....I doubt she will be as nice if she has to say it a second time. At least this way your last memory of her will not be one of her spitting fire with flames coming out of her eyes and smoke out of her ears.

Yeah I realize that now. She was my first love so I thought I was doing the right thing. Her brothers want to still keep contact and her mom calls me every couple days. Should I continue talking to them?

The answer to that is not so clear or obvious. If you live across the street... it would be hard to avoid them... if they are not close by... its going to cause a lot of awkwardness. It will appear to her that you don't want to give up... even if that might not be the case.

You might find they will start to drift away over time... meaning calling you less and less. Did you have a relationship with them before dating their daughter/sister?

We had a relationship after dating her and we don't live close to them