Just to give you all a brief idea.. my husband is a handy man.. and on Sunday my good mate and her mum broke their front door lock...
They were stuck outside for hours, no one could help mainly because it was a Sunday, so in the end my husband went to help , called the crane operators to help etc and he helped them out basically. Monday was a holiday and on Tues he went to buy them a new lock and installed it into place and charged her for his work.

My husband told me that besides that they wrote him a list of things to do around the house and he couldn't help them as he had other worked booked. So he installed new lock, hung a mirror for them and left.

Anyway to get to the point of my story...
Later that afternoon I was on chat to my friend and this is how the conversation went

Asked how her day was,
And she replied, upsetting really,
I asked why
And she said its OK, I just have to speak directly to the person,
I asked who,
She said I don't want you to get involved so its best I deal with it direct to the person who did some work for us,
So I said , are you referring to my husband?
She replied saying I am but you have nothing to do with it so when I'm able to speak to him direct to him in person, it's better for me,
So I said why don't you just call him,
She said, Nothing to do with you so! When I'm free to explain I will, just under shock at certain behavior.

I was stunned by now..

So I said, what are you about??
She said.. No problem as I said its better for me to discuss it with him. Sorry but better like that xxx

And that was the end of my conversation with her, so after that I approached my husband as he doesn't have a clue what she is on about..

Should I dig in deeper..? What should I do? Ignore her? I mean I am already involved now seeing as she sort of told me she is shocked but won't go into detail with me..


Im stunned at her certain behavior... upset and angry!

Please note i have know this girl for 18 years.. longer then i have known my hubbie!

If it were me based on the little information we have to go on I would just ignore her. Is she a drama queen normally? It sounds as if she could be. Being stuck outside is annoying, but upsetting? Don't worry about something until there's something to worry about.

Yes she generally is a drama queen and a moaner and quite negative... but I am still very upset with what she said after all its my husband is on about and he did her and her mum a favour.. my thinking may believe she may have thought he charged too much and didn't do the ' little extras' they asked for without prior notice.. if its not about this I have no idea what she means by under shock with certain behavior relating to my husband

Yes she generally is a drama queen and a moaner and quite negative... they were stuck outside on a SUNDAY he was the only who went to help and this conversation I had with her was on Tuesday after he went to install their new door lock..

I am still very upset with what she said after all its my husband is on about and he did her and her mum a favour.. my thinking may believe she may have thought he charged too much and didn't do the ' little extras' they asked for without prior notice.. if its not about this I have no idea what she means by under shock with certain behavior relating to my husband

Because this has to do with his business, his reputation is important.

She is implying that his behavior was somehow unprofessional with hints of inappropriate behavior. Especially when she said, "When I'm free to explain I will, just under shock at certain behavior".

She can't just drop a bomb like that without an explanation.

I would nip this in the bud, and fast.

Your husband needs to go over there, and find out what she meant by what she said, as her 'shock at certain behaviour' happened while he was there working. If she is a drama queen, and begins to spread rumours, then that is another reason to stop this before it gets out of hand.

An alternative would be for him to make a direct enquiry, by email, or letter. Have him make the enquiry about what she has said, in writing. At least that way, if you start to hear rumours from other people, she could be liable for slandering his name and business.

I would certainly not let this one go.

She wants to do it her way without you, let her. I get your curiosity and concern are piquéd but she simply doesn't want you involved. You wait until she does.

I know my husbands work ethic, he is a hard worker and has many happy customers, he told me when he there and even before he left he didn't get a bad vibe. But he told me he went there with the intention to just install a door lock and there they were giving me extras to do... and he basically refused it because he is busy.

Shocked at certain behavior i should tell her did he get undressed and start running up and down your hall way!!

He charged her too much (in her opinion) for the work he performed?
She was shocked that he didn't stay longer and do everyhting on her repair list? Both based on her close friendship with you?
My wife and I used to help a lady from our church who was disabled with many ailments and extreme obesity.
One day as we were leaving her home I gave her a little kiss on the cheek with my wife standing right beside her.
She went into shock also. She was very embarrassed and worried about what my wife would think of her and what might be going on.
As time went by and we continued to do work for her, we realized that she had a lot more problems than her physical limitations.
What I am saying is- your friend may have created something in her mind that doesn't exist.

I reckon so, she thinks he charged too much to just install a new lock but she doesn't know the calls he had to make to get one for her seeing as this happened on Sunday and bank holiday Monday.. all the driving around he did also for her... and his work!

Again I could be completely off guard and its something else but I don't think it could be she thinks he was inappropriate towards her because in that case in know her and she was tell me something like that .. immediately..

It stopped being a 'favor' when he charged her for his work. At that point it became a job and needs to be treated as such. Are you involved in the running of the business? If not, you need to step back. Allow your husband to handle it as he would any customer complaint.

This is coming from the wife of an exterminator who owns his own business and has friends and neighbors as clients. It isn't easy to step back, but it doesn't sound like you were there on Sunday or Tuesday to know what was said and done. It might not even be him. It could be the 'crane' operators or someone else who was involved.

If she has a complaint, she needs to talk to him. He may or may not share it with you. That's his choice.

Keeping professional and personal relationships separate is part of his job. Trust him to do it.

I keep asking him to call her but he won't :/

I keep asking him to call her but he won't :/

I agree with Cat. This is his business. He charged her for the work he did for her. At that point it was no longer a favor, it was a job. Do you work? If you had a problem at work would it be okay for your husband to barge in if you had an issue at work? Of course not.

I realize this is your friend, but any issues she has with the work she paid for your husband to do, needs to be addressed by the two of them, not you. It doesn't matter if she's a drama queen, it doesn't matter that she's your friend. You have to forget about all of that.

In this instance she's a client of your husbands. She paid him to do work for her, and any issues resulting because of the work he did, needs to be addressed by the two of them and only the two of them, no matter how nosey you are and how much you want to hear the gossip.

I agree don't get me wrong but what I am pissed off about is how she first tells me she doesn't want to get me involved... and then drops a bomb shell saying she is shocked at certain behavior... is that is what is really making me cross. I have since then not spoken to her or messaged...
And my husband is stubborn and won't pick up the phone to call her!! and here i am stuck in the middle... thanks to both of them!

Ok the story is out :-

Her mum and my friend were SHOCKED at the cost of his work.. because in her eyes my husband was there for just under 1 hour installing a new lock!!

She said we never asked him to come on Sunday, we just asked him for a number but little does she know that the number he had to give her for the crane op people would not go up the crane themselves as they r just drivers, my friend nor her mum would go up 5 stories high on a crane to get in their balcony but my husband did..

Of course, this was on a Sunday.. she also forgot all the calls and driving around he did he made to find a door lock for them on a bank holiday... but only saw him 'working' for less then 1 hr on tues and charged them.. shocking she said.. its shocking!!

I imagine she is shocked that she had to spend so much. You don't have to be in the middle unless you put yourself there. Your husband and your friend are adults. Let them handle it there way.

And that is where he gets to sit down and explain the charges. Part of business. Hopefully, they can work it out and you can stay completely out of it from this point on.

You may end up finding out what price they put on friendship. If they allow this to affect the friendship are they worth having as friends?

No not over 50 euros!!
she still insisted to us that her neighbours where with them since 8am on sunday and didnt ask for money.. but how can you relate what her neighbours did to what my husband did...
He went up 5 stories in a crane firstly which is a big risk in itself!! and the rest.. but she does not get it.
She said we are friends for years and you rip us off this way for just added a few screws in a lock!

The worst customers in the world is a friend. It got so bad, I always tell my friend, to call 2 of my competitors and get a price, (if close friends) I will do for 1/2.

I have lost friends over that, since it was not free.

I am very upset :(

Too upset to be objective? Or stay out of this?

About the whole situation really and her thinking he ripped her off when we knew their financial situation. He was the only one who got help, was there himself and sorted things calls and running around for them and fixed the lock for them.. over a bank holiday weekend for 50 euro!

Let it go. Likely they will both calm down. You should too.

Yes i have too

Thank you all for helping

Your first description was "called the crane operators to help etc" so I assumed and I shouldn't have- that the crane operators were co-workers or friends who helped with their hands and tools. But a crane to get into a dwelling with a broken lock? If she was charged for a crane and several workmen, it could be a very hefty cost that she wasn't prepared for.
Yes, you have to stay out of it but the charge for the work may have been a lot more than you are thinking that it might have been.
And by staying out of it, you can't find out things like - how much was she charged, was she given an estimate of what it would cost, were other options like using a locksmith considered, and I know it was Sunday and maybe not easy to get a locksmith, but even getting a hotel room and waiting for a locksmith to come the next day might have been a lot less cost. I am just saying that in my opinion, using a crane to gain access to a dwelling is out of the ordinary.
If they charged her the normal company rate for the crane, operators, travel time, your husbands time, plus materials etc- it could easily have been, just guessing-
$ 500 or more.
Even more reasons for you to stay out of it, but don't judge any of those involved as there are too many variables and too many unknowns here.

I understand why you're upset. This is why I never ever do business with family or friends. It never ends well and sadly I learned that the hard way.

Friends and family always think they should get a deal because of their relationship with you, even if getting a deal means you pay out of pocket to help them.

It's all about the money for them, it's about feeling they should have had free service, your husband and you should have swallowed the costs, because you're friends.

I would do something incredibly stupid, which I don't advise you to do, and I'd send her a message on fb, or email, or text, asking if she thought you should pay for her issues because of your friendship? 50 Euros is nothing for what your husband did.

Does she expect you and your husband to pay for her troubles? That's not a friend, that's a mooch. You're well rid of her if that's the case.

I'm in business selling used cars and friends and family always seem to expect me to give them some incredible deal...never mind how much it will cost me. Like I should just give them a car simply because I have cars on my lot. Afterall, I'm in business...I must have money rolling out of my butt! Surely I can afford to lose money as long as they benefit from it!

Sometimes I feel that's what people think and that's why they expect everything that they do.

I agree with Alty...mooch...you're better off without her if that's how she is.

$ 68.00. Missed that. (obviously) Yes, major mooch.

She even called my husband sneaky and that he took over the situation because all she wanted was his contacts so they contact everyone themselves because they know his work is not cheap.. she doesn't realize that his contacts would have done nothing for her over a bank holiday weekend they did it for my husband because he has a name a good reputation (but then before he charged them they had a list of things for him to do around their house) ...

I am truly annoyed at her.. her intentions where exactly as you all said, because she didn't indirectly tell me but said we are friends for 18 years and yet I was charged an arm and a leg for less then 1 hours work... and was SHOCKED at the cost... I repeat. 50 euros!! she added we were going to offer him some money because we are NOT cheap and then kept giving me quotes from other people..

I am saddened that she doesn't see the bigger picture he didn't help for less then 1 hr but 3 days... but she thought we did that because we cared meaning 'FREE' the cheek or what?!

She also said when she calms down she will arrange to meet with my husband to talk about it , because when something is incorrect it should be discussed.. I said yes better because he needs to calm down also after being accused of this he is very upset!

My husband doesn't want her in our house anymore!

Nothing to talk over, she owes for the service.

* after that, of course, why a crane ? And did I miss, how much was the charge to her

The crane people charged her 30 euro for being there 30 minutes! They had to come as they needed someone to go through their balcony to get to their house indoors to open as they broke their key in their front door lock.. and my husband organised the crane people.. and went up the hoist and climbed in their balcony.. 5 stories high!!

I did marketing research.. picked up the yellow pages and found handyman section and picked 3 at random.. called and asked how much they would charge me to come fix a lock just like hers.. and guess how much they quoted.. the 3 of them said - 50 euro!!

I think I will inform her about this. And tell her to do so same..

One thing that hasn't been established is did he give them an estimate before doing the work? It all comes down to what was said between them and I am not certain there was clear communication.

As I said before this is something he needs to deal with. Hurt feelings or ticked off, it is still his business.

They never asked him.. and that is one policy I have always ask the price before anything not assume!

They never asked him.. and that is one policy I have always ask the price before anything not assume!

And he didn't say?

He gave them price when his finished his works and they paid him

They never asked him.. and that is one policy I have always ask the price before anything not assume!

She has a basis for complaint. I own a service business myself. I have repeating service clients that I need to develop a relationship with that sometimes borders on friendship. I have lost thousands over the years before learning one simple thing: Money First. It sounds crass, it doesn't build friendships, it even loses some, but getting the money out of the way before anything else is done preserves my integrity and my reputation. Do I give special deals to friends? Sure, but everybody knows the deal ahead of time.

From this point, my advice would be to negotiate with her, showing her the other estimates, and MAYBE coming off the price a little, simply to make up for the miscommunication.


He gave them price when his finished his works and they paid him

Never mind my advice. If they wanted to negotiate, the time was before the deal was done. Now she just wants to be a .b!tch.

Thank you Catsmine

I open the yellow pages, went under handyman section, picked a few and called them and ask them for a quote for fixing a new motura 4 bolt door lock OK.. they quoted me 50 euros
All of them

I asked her nicely to call handymen to get quotes for fixing a lock etc
And she replied saying this :-

No problem I have already spoken to quite a few of mum's friends who at the moment have a plumber/ electrician, handy many available for fixing anything! At a cost of 80 euro a day, good price for a good worker, plus she discussed with her Maltese friends who were shocked at the amount paid! From several people and I personally called two handy men and explained what type of door and how much it would cost. Plus in the third phone call I told your husband if I needed him to come ill call, and I then obviously who have a asked how much Aprox this could cost. Never expected to even see him there!! Plus asked you why did you come! I just need the phone no of lift people , as my neibour was willing to help under the circumstances! But it's fine kris. We talk in person as this could go on for ages on text SMS, on bus to michael's funeral, bumpy bus so texting isn't easy. Talk in person as I have no time to check again. Thanks

It does sound like she called your husband asking for advice, and he then just showed up, did the job, without asking if she wanted him to. If that's the case, she does have a reason to complain. Doesn't sound like there was an intention to hire him. Is that the case? Did your husband decide on his own to do this job without actually being hired to do it?

I agree she got a good price, and if she actually agreed for him to do the work, my original opinion about her being a mooch, stands. But, if she called your husband asking for his opinion, or help finding someone to do the work, and he just decided to do the work without discussing it with her, or okaying it with her, and then charging her for it, that's really not okay.

To be honest this was discussed between them not me as such however from what I heard.. she called my husband over 5 times asking for numbers for people to help etc but was getting no where for hours so in the end I believe my husband too the initiative to go and help out.. and at first he was helping, we went because we cared.. but as things turned out over bank holiday weekend and took 3 days in total I guess he put a price on it... My friend if she did NOT want him to there could have simply told him we don't need you.. you can go.. or we have it under control..or even asked if this would cost. And on a second note if she really didnt want him there how come on the 3rd day they wrote him a list of things to do around their house?!!!!

I said to both a lot of miss communication really..

But after all he saved the day well 3 at that for 50 euro...

They love to victimise themselves and are complete moaners about everything.

I think in long run he saved them time and money

She has made no contact with my husband to discuss this matter.. so all she did was wine me up and play with my emotions about all of this.. she messages me and says she is very upset BUT hello what about us.. she said we should mee to discuss this when it suitable for me. I said there is nothing to discuss... just agree to disagree... but her calling my hiusband sneaky and ripping her off is very hurtful and she won't apaologise for that so I wondering whether to leave her alone or bother with her again??

Am I the only one trying to figure out why one needs a crane to change a lock?

Personally... I would refuse to have anything more to do with her... but first make it clear to her that her attempt to cheat your husband... is an attempt to cheat you as well... And real friends don't stab their friends in the back... and leave it alone from there.


I've had this happen before... friend begged and pleaded for me to fix one of his exotic sports cars because he felt the local dealer was a cheat...

Thankfully I drew up a contract as to what was being done... exactly what he was paying for at that price... and any additional parts were extra.. and any other work would not be included...

Because a month later the claimed he paid me to do something unrelated and that I screwed it up and was going to sue me for return of ALL the money they paid. Never mind 3/4 of what they paid was for parts... (over $1,700 worth)

Cost me $450 to have a lawyer deal with their lawyer to show them the contract they had... and if they didn't three would be a counter suit. Didn't speak to them for years after that... then he was diagnosed with having alzheimers... which by that time was fairly well advanced. His wife appologized profusely at that point.

If people like that are "friends"... then who needs enenies.

Am I the only one trying to figure out why one needs a crane to change a lock?
The crane was to gain entry to the apartment to open the door.

sadface, as I said before, you need to stay out of it. If she has an issue, she should take it up with the business owner. (Yes, I know that is your husband, but it needs to be put firmly on a professional footing.) This is between them.

On the personal side, I would stay away from her after explaining why the 'friendship' needs to take a break. I don't know why she is playing games and it does look like at this point she is. But I do know that you do not need the stress she is trying to cause.

I'd give up on expecting an apology. Letting it go is more for you than anything else. She won't change and beating your head against a wall only hurts you and may cause stress between you and your husband over time.

Be polite when around her as you would be to any stranger or client of your husband.

When a friend acts crazing and irrational, and cannot be reasoned with, leave them alone. Its may be difficult and sad, but necessary.

Thanks all. I replied politely back and told her - there is nothing to discuss, we have to agree to disagree , simple as that!

Im hurt she called my husband sneaky and ripped her off.. when in his genuine intention all he wanted to do was help.. but because he put a price on it she obviously didnt like it as she tried to say her neighbours were willing to help for free.. however her neighbors were just there for support and didnt do much in the 5 hrs they were stuck outside... while my husband did it all and saved the day in les sthen few hrs
Some people ha!
I did my own research by calling handymen asking them how much they would charge to fix a new lock like thieris and they all said 50 euro.. i told her this but she still denied it !!!! saying she asked herself and was told around 20 euros.. but its rubish.. she probaly just asked people not made actual cold calls to handymen

Have not heard back

Personally... I would refuse to have anything more to do with her... but first make it clear to her that her attempt to cheat your husband... is an attempt to cheat you as well... And real friends don't stab their friends in the back... and leave it alone from there.


I've had this happen before... friend begged and pleaded for me to fix one of his exotic sports cars because he felt the local dealer was a cheat...

Thankfully I drew up a contract as to what was being done... exactly what he was paying for at that price... and any additional parts were extra.. and any other work would not be included...

Because a month later the claimed he paid me to do something unrelated and that I screwed it up and was going to sue me for return of ALL the money they paid. Never mind 3/4 of what they paid was for parts... (over $1,700 worth)

Cost me $450 to have a lawyer deal with their lawyer to show them the contract they had... and if they didn't three would be a counter suit. Didn't speak to them for years after that... then he was diagnosed with having alzheimers... which by that time was fairly well advanced. His wife appologized profusely at that point.

If people like that are "friends"... then who needs enenies.

Thanks for your input

This has nothing to do with my issue here.. however it concerns the same 'friend' before we had this fall out she admitted to me.. her married friend.. that she has had 1 serious affair with a married man... and a few endeavors with married men too!! The wives of these men were not friends of hers, but to me as a married women I think its disgusting! The one had a serious affair with, my friend told me she met the wife on a few occasions and was friendly with her

Should this make me steer clear even more??

What she did to your husband is all the reason you need all by itself... those other things only justifies the cold shoulder that much more, and demonstrates her true character.

She wasn't perfect when you met, she sure isn't now, neither are you, so leave her alone.

No one is perfect Talaiman ;)

No one is perfect Talaiman ;) That is what he said, isn't it ?

Everyone makes mistakes. Stop trying to find more ammo against her so you can justify cutting her out of your life. You don't need to recall every conversation you ever had, or every little thing she ever did. Just cut the poison from your life, forget about it, and move on. Dwelling on it is not healthy.

I am meeting her tomorrow

I am meeting her tomorrow

Why?

Well, I felt I should... and I did... it went OK... I spent a long afternoon with her and realised she moans about anything and everyone. She used the word ripped off loads in any topic we spoke about no in relation to my husband... then she told me she started her business and people said her food is expensive and her reply was - everyone has to make a living... seems like she is one minded tracked person to me!

So have you had enough of the BS yet or do you feel stretching it out further will help you?

How am i stretching it out when i have only seen her that once since d incident

I didn't see sarcasm in Tals post... give it some thought... he made some very good points you need to think about.

EDIT...I see you reworded your post since I answered.