So, it all started when I met this guy called Ethan at a party. I'm the kind of girl that doesn't like guys easily, but I fell for him instantly. I was with my best friend Ella, who he completely ignored and was flirting with me all night and when he wasn't I could feel his eyes follow me everywhere. After I went home I was talking to one of my friends, Lucas. He has been in love with me for the past year, but I had made it clear that he was just a friend. So anyway, Lucas was asking me about Ethan who turned out to be his best friend, I realized at that point that even though Lucas knows how I feel about him, that he would never let Ethan make any move. Which is what I realized had actually happened after.

Me and Ella went to another party, Lucas and Ethan were there this time. Lucas was talking to me all night and trying to be alone with me, although I did my best to avoid that, which left Ethan and Ella to talk a little. Ella knew exactly how I felt about Ethan yet she flirted back and the next day we talked about it and she apologized to me for flirting with him and said it was a mistake, because even though it was very hard for me to be with Ethan she knew how I felt about him and how I kept hoping the situation would change and how in over 4 years this was the first guy I actually liked.

So, anyway afterwards I heard Ethan was hooking up with another girl and they went out for a while and then they broke up, and a week later we went to another party and Ella was with me again and so was Lucas and Ethan, and again Lucas was demanding my attention all night but I avoided being alone with him. Ethan and Ella didn't talk much. He talked with her a little and with other girls, but later that night they started texting. Again, she knew how I felt about it but chose to do it anyway. After a couple of weeks she came and told me that even though they're just friends and they don't flirt and he hasn't shown any interest in her, that she likes him and since Lucas' feelings towards me would make it very hard for me and Ethan to together. Then she wants to try and be with him. I told her that we already talked about that before they talked and before she developed feelings for him and that she knew exactly how I felt and still lied to me and went behind my back.

The next day she came over to my house with another friend and she told me she was sorry and that she was being a bad friend and that she would stop what she was doing and that was that. The next day I was holding her phone and he texted her back so I realized she was lying. I talked to her again and she said she knew the limits of their relationship and they were just friends and I believed her. 3 days later she called me again saying the same things about how she likes him and she can't control her feelings and even though he didn't tell her he likes her she still wants to go after him. I told her she had lied to me a million times and I was done with this she could do whatever she wanted and I would no longer trust her. She kept saying she was sorry and that she would try and earn my trust and that she would stop talking to him.

Now we haven't talked in two days and my other friends keep telling me that even though she was wrong, now that she has developed feelings I should let her pursue him and try to be okay with it. I don't know what to do. I still like him and I'm very dissapointed in my best friend and no matter how this turns out I've completely lost all trust and respect for her. What should I do with her and him? How should I act? Please help.

I'm not being mean but...I tried to read this...I really did but it reads like one long run-on sentence with terrible punctuation. I am getting a head ache trying to make sense out of it.

Can you clean it up so it will make more sense with less effort to read it?

So, why didn't you dump Lucas and talk to Ethan at one of these parties? If you were waiting for Ethan to make a move, it looks like he did when he hooked up with a random female and then with your friend.

What you think you perceived in his flirting with you seems to be all in your mind. He may think you are cute but he obviously wasn't making that big of a play for you. Did he even ask for your contact information?

Your friend was wrong to lie to you (if she did, I got a bit lost) but she has as much right to go after him as you or any other uncommitted female did.

You keep Lucas around knowing how he feels about you. Why? Why not distance yourself from him to make it easier for him to move on?

Is this Lucas?
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/friends-benefits-urgent-739484.html#post3420568

So your friend lying to you was wrong but aside from that, I don't see much of a problem. I agree with all that Cat said....your friend had just as much of a right to him as you did and really, it didn't seem that he was too interested in you or it would have been more obvious. Just use this as a learning lesson and forget about the hard feelings between you and friends.

You should really give up on Ethan because after all this time you haven't gotten him. Get over it and let your friend do as she wishes and stop hogging the guys. You have used your friendship as badly as you say your friend lies to you. You really should have stepped aside when things weren't working to get Ethan, which had no chance since apparently Ethan stepped aside for his friend Lucas who liked you.

The good news is you will graduate high school and leave the high school drama behind. How old are all of you?

Lucas isn't my boyfriend for me to dump him, he's my friend but he has feelings for me. I made it clear for him for him that I have absolutely no feelings and that to me it's just a friendship. Do you think I still should distance myself even though we're just friends because he has feelings? I am thinking about it because I feel like it's not fair for him and that like you said I should let him move on, but when I stop talking he still talks and texts all the time.

No Lucas isn't the guy from my other question, I let that other guy go and now he's with his girlfriend and we talk from time to time as friends. I called my friend and turns out she told Ethan today she wants them to be just friends, but I told her that she should do what she wants and what she thinks is right for her and that even if it would hurt me I will still be her best friend and I will get over it. I think that was the right thing to do

I know I was being selfish but I was clinging on to the tiniest hope that I could be with Ethan, but I've let go and I told Ella she could have him and that I will step aside and nothing will change between me and her. It's just that when you meet a guy and you fall for him instantly it's hard to see him with the closest person in the world to you, that's why it was hard to let go, I just couldn't accept the way things turned out. Ella and I are 16 and Lucas and Ethan are 17, so yes we're almost past all this drama, I just hope it gets easier.

Lucas isn't my boyfriend for me to dump him, he's my friend but he has feelings for me. I made it clear for him for him that I have absolutely no feelings and that to me it's just a friendship. Do you think I still should distance myself even though we're just friends because he has feelings? I am thinking about it because I feel like it's not fair for him and that like you said I should let him move on, but when I stop talking he still talks and texts all the time.

What I meant by 'dump' was to walk away from him at the party. To go over and talk to Ethan since that is what you wanted instead of allowing Lucas to direct your activities.

You are leading Lucas on by keeping him as a close friend. You are giving him false hope. If he were here, I would be telling him to distance himself from the friendship until he could let any hope of being with you as a couple go. He isn't, you are.

You need to tell him that his friendship means a lot to you. So much that you are stepping back and not taking his calls, texts, etc. until he has let go and moved forward. You want him to find happiness but it is not going to be with you. Be polite when you do see him, but do not encourage personal interaction. Be firm with him.

However much it hurts, it will be better for both of you in long term.

Thank you so much for your advice and for taking the time to read that and reply. I will try what you suggested and I will keep you posted of you want to know how it turned out.