So this is kind of long! I came out of a marriage in the middle of last year and so did my girlfriend, me met kind of randomly and hit it off, eventually we went out and a whirlwind relationship started. For a couple of months we spent pretty much every day together, we were having so much fun, we kissed and cuddled and were close all the time, I was so happy and I felt like she was so happy. In the third month she had family visit her and its about that time that she started acting differently towards me. All of a sudden she stated that she was unsure about our future, not sure if she was in love with me or not but confirmed that she wanted to stay with me because she loves the relationship that we have. It seemed kind of outa the blue as we were so close for a couple of months, almost inseparable. Now we have kind of gone back a little, I don't see her everyday and sometimes it can be a few days which I know is completely normal when you are starting. What concerns me is that sometimes when we talk, she will tell me she loves me and it seems so true and heartfelt, I feel it so completely. Other times she will say it and it just feels false, almost forced "i love you too", almost like I have to say it first sometimes.

I also will sometimes write her a long and heartfelt message, maybe even poetry and I don't really get a response. She might call me and say "awww, that so sweet" but she doesn't write me back or make an effort to make me feel the same way, she used to at the beginning. The puzzling thing is that sometimes the future comes up and she will say something about moving somewhere together or something and it seems true or she will talk about a birthday in a month or so and seems to take it for granted that I am going to be there.

Also when I wake up, I will text her and say good morning, have a wonderful day but she doesn't always do that for me. At times I like to hear her voice and say goodnight before bed, we will talk mid evening and she will be like 'i'll talk to you later' but never calls me to say goodnight, instead I get a "goodnight babes", not even I love you, or I miss you. Even at times I will text her and say, I love you baby and I don't get a response or I get something generic like "awww, your so sweet" or "my sweet guy".

I guess what it comes down to is that I am always there for her, I feel like I am always the one trying to call her or text her first and I don't get that from her anymore. I feel almost like if we broke up, she would be fine and I would be heartbroken, I'm just not sure if I am getting out of this relationship what I am putting in. Part of me wants to break up with her and move on to someone that will give me as much attention as I do them. I don't feel special to her unless we are together and even then sometimes I don't feel special to her when I am around her. We have time apart but after I see her after a few days I don't get that wow factor from her, I don't feel like she has missed me and is so happy that I am there. I feel like maybe she's lonely and its convenient when I am around because she is not always alone.

Ok so that was very long and I could have said even more. I guess my question is do I just give it more time and see where things go? We are both older so its possible the early affection period has worn a little but I'm really afraid of is wasting time with someone who is never going to give as much as I do because that is a doomed relationship and I don't want to waste any more of my time. Maybe she just needs some space or maybe she just feels comfortable in our relationship and so sits back a bit. Overall I have never been so confused, she makes me feel one way and then another which I guess would make sense if she is unsure about what she wants. But then why talk about the future and at the same time state that you are unsure about what the future holds. I guess overall I felt so loved and wanted a couple of months ago, almost like she couldn't be without me and now I feel like she could take me or leave me but the real main issue is why does she not respond to my loving, heartfelt emails and texts?

You sound pretty needy. Maybe the bloom has faded and she is settleing down in the relationship or maybe your need for attention is not who she is. If you have doubts about her feelings why don't you discuss it with her. Maybe your whirlwind romance is over for her. Or maybe you are just lonely and are putting too much in to her

I will agree, first relationships cool down after the first few months into "real life" work and life, keeps us from being at beacon call. Next why does she have to write poetry or long notes, perhaps she does not like to. So as the relationship developed she stopped doing some things she does not like to do.

If someone waited for me to call them, they would wait and wait, I hate to talk on the phone. Texting is much easier for me.

We do know know this women, but it is possible that she is busy with life. You do sound very very needy, and wanting her to respond in specific ways and many times a day.

In dating, you may go a few days without talking, if both people are busy.

But the only way to know, is to sit down and discuss where you are at.

I agree with the others... I don't think the issue is with her... but with you... teenage girls might be like that but mature people tend not to be unless they have issues of some sort or other.

Most women and men might find that cute in the beginning... but would tire of it quickly and begin to see it as smoothering them. And appearing clingy and needy is a turnoff to most people.

Your heart might be in the right place... but acting this way would make you appear weak and needy and that's what she will see. And it might not be what she wants. Its certainly not how she is. As was mentioned... most people have plenty of things that they have to worry about which will be foremost on their minds, Something like you describe will not be tops on the priority list. You came out of a long term relationship inte middle of last year ( a marriage)... meaning roughly 6 months ago.. sounds like this is a rebound relationship... and you are in a rush to get back into something that takes a lot of time to develop, and you are pushing it way too hard.

As was mentioned.. if you sat down and talked with her about it, I'm certain she might say the sort of things I mentioned... so prepare yourself in case she tells you she preffers things a bit more laid back. But the good thing is she hasn't walked away so that means its not a lost cause yet.

But you have to understand... she is the way she is... and she's not going to change.So you can't make her into what you want her to be. You have to accept her as she is.

I vote needy too. Needy and smothering behaviors chokes the life and fun right out of the relationship. And honestly needy is not attractive on any level. You need to realize that before you were with her you and she had other activities and friends that you used to spend time with. Spending all your time with a new person and forgetting about the other stuff you used to do is not a healthy way to start a relationship.

You have your comfort zone, and idea of a good relationship, she has hers. You talk and work together, or you work apart. You can never assume her feelings, or the way she shows them will be the same as yours, or will never change. If you can't talk and make adjustments that work for you both after the honeymoon period is over then the relationship will die.

Maybe you have just helped each other through an emotionally rough period in your lives, and one of you is healing and the other has become attached to quickly, I don't know but have you considered after a divorce one would be reluctant to get that deeply committed so fast? Or maybe you expect too much, too soon, and need her more than she needs you seeing you both are fresh from divorce.

Slow down and see her side, not just yours. Try listening, and not just feeling as your whole post is all about how YOU feel. What you do and what she doesn't. Do either of you have kids? Work? She is a stranger you are getting to know, not just candidate for your next wife.

Maybe you can connect on a higher level, maybe you can't. For sure you both need more time and space to unpack you emotional baggage from the past.