I'm very sorry to bother you guys with this but I'm having a bit of a dilemma with my relationship and I just need someone to talk to or some advice, you can skip this if you want, I just really had nowhere else to go I've been bothering friends with this for a while but no one can give me an answer or no one understands really I'm not sure it's just driving me crazy so if you could just hear me out and tell me what to do please I'd appreciate it so much (once again I'm so sorry for bothering you guys with this silly stuff :$)

I've been dating my boyfriend for about two years now, and he's honestly the most perfect and incredible guy I have ever met. He does everything right, says the right thing, calls every night, has never lied to me, and does whatever I want. He tries so hard to make me happy and I adore that. I appreciate him so much, and I even tell him I love him. But when I picture a future together, I feel bored and scared. My family absolutely loves him, my friends think he's the best person for me. Everything is so on point, except for my feelings. When people ask how we are, I feel like we're just okay. Even when there's no problem. I know he'd make an amazing husband and father and I truly want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him. But how can I make my heart feel the same way?

Some other important information is that he is my first serious relation ship, and I'm only 21 years old... The last guy I was with truly broke my heart, he was my first and cheated on me constantly - in the end he just completely stopped talking to me without any sign and I ended up falling into a really bad period of depression. I'm terrified that if I break things off with my current boyfriend, I will go back to being severely depressed, I am also afraid I will end up regretting my decision. He's like my best friend. The idea of losing him is beyond miserable. I don't even know how to survive not talking to him every day, not knowing him anymore, or not seeing him ever. Thinking about losing him makes me nauseous and so sad. I cry all the time because I'm so confused and have no clue what to do. It seems like either way, I'm going to end up miserable. If I stay with him, I'm afraid I'll never completely be in love - I want that crazy do anything for you kind of love but does that even exist? But if I leave him, I have a strong instinct that I'm going to seriously regret it or never find anyone as great as him ever again or who loves me as much.

I also don't have the greatest self-esteem so maybe the reason I can't be happy with him is because deep down I'm just not happy with myself and with my life. But how do I know if I'm the problem or if the relationship is the problem? I really don't want to lose him but I feel like I'm settling. I don't know why I feel that way because he's so perfect, but sometimes I just can't see myself with him long term - he is so different than my 'ideal person;.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Please help me sort through this. I'm so confused and have no idea what to do... I've been seriously thinking about breaking it off for a while now and it's even come to the point where I've met up with him with my mind set on doing so but as soon as he hugs me or as soon as I see him I can't bring myself to do it. I do love him and care about him so much and I want nothing more than for him to be happy so I'm really confused here?

It's clear that you have self esteem problems because you wasted 4 whole lines apologizing at the beginning.

Yes, what you are going through is common. 'Settling' is just not a good choice, I think. You sound like you are still on the rebound from the pain of the first relationship failure.

If you are on the verge of spending your entire life with someone, you need to be honest. TELL him that you love him but don't feel in love; that the spark just isn't there. He will be crushed and will plead with you. Tell him that you are taking time off. How much is up to you - I'd say 2 months. Be resolved to follow through on all of it so that the early shock of missing him has time to lessen.

Every woman needs to know what it is like to be alone in the sense of without a man. Find out what about life interests you! I wish every young woman would do this, so that she doesn't hop from one man to the next, or into a dreary marriage.

I too think self esteem is at play here, and a lack of confidence. Bad boys, as they go, can be very very bad, but they are also very very good, and exciting and unpredictable, and leave you spinning in hope and anticipation of what good will eventually come. Unfortunately, a lot of times the unpredictable nature of the 'bad boy', will burn a woman out.

Is it that you don't feel you deserve to be treated properly? Are you not worth in some way of respect, love, attention? It seems to me that the man you are with now, provides all that any of us ever trying to understand relationship problems, wish for anyone.

He sounds like a partner, he sounds reliable, sincere, loving, and kind. What's not to like is perhaps your inability to accept what he has to offer.

True your age may have something to do with this. You may feel pressured (even by yourself) to think of this man as 'it', and fear of losing him is as equally difficult, as accepting him as an equal.

You have choices to make, and if I could make that choice for you, I would say, not to bet the farm on the relationship, but to go easy, and take your time. Figure out for yourself, when YOU are ready, what and who you want to marry- if you choose to marry at all.

It doesn't have to be all or nothing. You can decide how you want things to go. Maybe 7 days a week is just too much, but 4 days is good. Use your time on your own to do things without him. Enjoy your friends and activities, and see how it goes.

What's the rest of your life like beyond your boyfriend? What's your goals and ambitions for yourself? What are your interests and activities? Are you happy with your job, studies or friends and activities?

How long were you single before the new guy and after the boob guy?