isacovet
Jan 8, 2014, 10:46 PM
I'm very sorry to bother you guys with this but I'm having a bit of a dilemma with my relationship and I just need someone to talk to or some advice, you can skip this if you want, I just really had nowhere else to go I've been bothering friends with this for a while but no one can give me an answer or no one understands really I'm not sure it's just driving me crazy so if you could just hear me out and tell me what to do please I'd appreciate it so much (once again I'm so sorry for bothering you guys with this silly stuff :$)
I've been dating my boyfriend for about two years now, and he's honestly the most perfect and incredible guy I have ever met. He does everything right, says the right thing, calls every night, has never lied to me, and does whatever I want. He tries so hard to make me happy and I adore that. I appreciate him so much, and I even tell him I love him. But when I picture a future together, I feel bored and scared. My family absolutely loves him, my friends think he's the best person for me. Everything is so on point, except for my feelings. When people ask how we are, I feel like we're just okay. Even when there's no problem. I know he'd make an amazing husband and father and I truly want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him. But how can I make my heart feel the same way?
Some other important information is that he is my first serious relation ship, and I'm only 21 years old... The last guy I was with truly broke my heart, he was my first and cheated on me constantly - in the end he just completely stopped talking to me without any sign and I ended up falling into a really bad period of depression. I'm terrified that if I break things off with my current boyfriend, I will go back to being severely depressed, I am also afraid I will end up regretting my decision. He's like my best friend. The idea of losing him is beyond miserable. I don't even know how to survive not talking to him every day, not knowing him anymore, or not seeing him ever. Thinking about losing him makes me nauseous and so sad. I cry all the time because I'm so confused and have no clue what to do. It seems like either way, I'm going to end up miserable. If I stay with him, I'm afraid I'll never completely be in love - I want that crazy do anything for you kind of love but does that even exist? But if I leave him, I have a strong instinct that I'm going to seriously regret it or never find anyone as great as him ever again or who loves me as much.
I also don't have the greatest self-esteem so maybe the reason I can't be happy with him is because deep down I'm just not happy with myself and with my life. But how do I know if I'm the problem or if the relationship is the problem? I really don't want to lose him but I feel like I'm settling. I don't know why I feel that way because he's so perfect, but sometimes I just can't see myself with him long term - he is so different than my 'ideal person;.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Please help me sort through this. I'm so confused and have no idea what to do... I've been seriously thinking about breaking it off for a while now and it's even come to the point where I've met up with him with my mind set on doing so but as soon as he hugs me or as soon as I see him I can't bring myself to do it. I do love him and care about him so much and I want nothing more than for him to be happy so I'm really confused here?
I've been dating my boyfriend for about two years now, and he's honestly the most perfect and incredible guy I have ever met. He does everything right, says the right thing, calls every night, has never lied to me, and does whatever I want. He tries so hard to make me happy and I adore that. I appreciate him so much, and I even tell him I love him. But when I picture a future together, I feel bored and scared. My family absolutely loves him, my friends think he's the best person for me. Everything is so on point, except for my feelings. When people ask how we are, I feel like we're just okay. Even when there's no problem. I know he'd make an amazing husband and father and I truly want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him. But how can I make my heart feel the same way?
Some other important information is that he is my first serious relation ship, and I'm only 21 years old... The last guy I was with truly broke my heart, he was my first and cheated on me constantly - in the end he just completely stopped talking to me without any sign and I ended up falling into a really bad period of depression. I'm terrified that if I break things off with my current boyfriend, I will go back to being severely depressed, I am also afraid I will end up regretting my decision. He's like my best friend. The idea of losing him is beyond miserable. I don't even know how to survive not talking to him every day, not knowing him anymore, or not seeing him ever. Thinking about losing him makes me nauseous and so sad. I cry all the time because I'm so confused and have no clue what to do. It seems like either way, I'm going to end up miserable. If I stay with him, I'm afraid I'll never completely be in love - I want that crazy do anything for you kind of love but does that even exist? But if I leave him, I have a strong instinct that I'm going to seriously regret it or never find anyone as great as him ever again or who loves me as much.
I also don't have the greatest self-esteem so maybe the reason I can't be happy with him is because deep down I'm just not happy with myself and with my life. But how do I know if I'm the problem or if the relationship is the problem? I really don't want to lose him but I feel like I'm settling. I don't know why I feel that way because he's so perfect, but sometimes I just can't see myself with him long term - he is so different than my 'ideal person;.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Please help me sort through this. I'm so confused and have no idea what to do... I've been seriously thinking about breaking it off for a while now and it's even come to the point where I've met up with him with my mind set on doing so but as soon as he hugs me or as soon as I see him I can't bring myself to do it. I do love him and care about him so much and I want nothing more than for him to be happy so I'm really confused here?