KnowWhatsRight
Jan 7, 2014, 10:56 AM
10 years ago my husband went through a little less then a year period of drinking heavily. To the point of blackout drinking, passing out, finding himself at friends houses, in the garage, our backyard, what have you without knowing how he got there. I fought hard to get him into rehab. Sober him up. We started going to church. We had more children. In the past 10 years he's a completely different person. Doesn't drink. Doesn't yell. Doesn't loose his temper. Nothing. Even my 17 year old daughter has commended him on how well he's done.
This past weekend after a great family day trip, she asked to sit down and talk to us. She said that she's been waiting for the right time to talk to us about it. She says that during his drunken phase, when he would go pass out in our room when she was in there sleeping because she liked our bed as it was bigger then hers, he molested her. She told us it happened 3 times. He has no recollection at all about it. When she told us, she held his hand and begged him not to do something stupid because she knows he didn't know it was her in the bed. She is asking for us to talk it out. She is begging me to not call the police. She claims to want to put closure on that door of life.
I am absolutely blown away. I feel like my world has just fallen apart. I knew he wasn't a nice person that year. I knew and suspected he was out having affairs, what have you. But I honestly never would have expected this.
And then here I am trying to process this all. He has moved out of the house. There is forgiveness for murderers, for domestic violence, for DUI's resulting in murder. But this there isn't. Ever. And while I am pretty sure I know the right thing to do, the fact that she is begging to just let her talk about it, face it and move on so that she can face it is killing me.
I feel so alone and hurt right now. I look at him and I don't see the monster I dragged to rehab. I see a new man who has pushed and fought to change himself. I look at her and I'm blown away by how calm she is how matter of fact she is. I'm a crying mess and she just hugs me asking me to stop and to please grant her request to be able to talk to us openly about it.
This past weekend after a great family day trip, she asked to sit down and talk to us. She said that she's been waiting for the right time to talk to us about it. She says that during his drunken phase, when he would go pass out in our room when she was in there sleeping because she liked our bed as it was bigger then hers, he molested her. She told us it happened 3 times. He has no recollection at all about it. When she told us, she held his hand and begged him not to do something stupid because she knows he didn't know it was her in the bed. She is asking for us to talk it out. She is begging me to not call the police. She claims to want to put closure on that door of life.
I am absolutely blown away. I feel like my world has just fallen apart. I knew he wasn't a nice person that year. I knew and suspected he was out having affairs, what have you. But I honestly never would have expected this.
And then here I am trying to process this all. He has moved out of the house. There is forgiveness for murderers, for domestic violence, for DUI's resulting in murder. But this there isn't. Ever. And while I am pretty sure I know the right thing to do, the fact that she is begging to just let her talk about it, face it and move on so that she can face it is killing me.
I feel so alone and hurt right now. I look at him and I don't see the monster I dragged to rehab. I see a new man who has pushed and fought to change himself. I look at her and I'm blown away by how calm she is how matter of fact she is. I'm a crying mess and she just hugs me asking me to stop and to please grant her request to be able to talk to us openly about it.