allayski
Jan 3, 2014, 10:16 PM
Hi Guys,
I need your advice.
MY GF of 3 years broke up with me. It wasn't a nasty break up, she just told me that she's not 'in love' with me anymore but she still loves me.
I cannot go 'no contact' with her because she's my office mate and we're on the same department, so we really need to communicate.
I'm the one who was planning to break up with her but I don't have the courage. There are things that I don't really like about her, like I haven't met her parents, she likes eating unhealthy foods, she's sick most of the time- but I just let them slip. Maybe I compromised a lot of things for her down to the point that I couldn't take it anymore. My passive-aggressive behavior kicked-in and I just went silent for a week. We kiss but she can feel the coldness.
After that she asked me that if I'm still happy with the relationship. Thinking that we can still fix our relationship, I said 'yes, I'm still happy'.. but she said she's not anymore and she wants to break up with me. I asked her why she doesn't want to fix the relationship and just leave instead. She said she don't know.
So I just let her go and filed a vacation leave for five days. I never contacted her during that time.
Couple of weeks ago, we talked and discussed about getting back with her. She told me that I should let her go and move on. Failed at convincing her, I gave up. I gave her what she wants and that's her freedom. However, when we were talking, I asked her what she would miss and I asked her if she's going to miss having the sex part. She said yes and I told her that we can still do it. Which she agreed given that it can help me move on. So basically we're in an open relationship.
The question is.. is this natural? Or am I setting myself up for another heartbreak?
I also told her that if ever we get back together, things will level up... and that's getting married. Now, I want her back but I'm not sure if I want to marry her.
Am I just being selfish here?
I'm already applying for a new job so I can leave my current company.
I need help..
I need your advice.
MY GF of 3 years broke up with me. It wasn't a nasty break up, she just told me that she's not 'in love' with me anymore but she still loves me.
I cannot go 'no contact' with her because she's my office mate and we're on the same department, so we really need to communicate.
I'm the one who was planning to break up with her but I don't have the courage. There are things that I don't really like about her, like I haven't met her parents, she likes eating unhealthy foods, she's sick most of the time- but I just let them slip. Maybe I compromised a lot of things for her down to the point that I couldn't take it anymore. My passive-aggressive behavior kicked-in and I just went silent for a week. We kiss but she can feel the coldness.
After that she asked me that if I'm still happy with the relationship. Thinking that we can still fix our relationship, I said 'yes, I'm still happy'.. but she said she's not anymore and she wants to break up with me. I asked her why she doesn't want to fix the relationship and just leave instead. She said she don't know.
So I just let her go and filed a vacation leave for five days. I never contacted her during that time.
Couple of weeks ago, we talked and discussed about getting back with her. She told me that I should let her go and move on. Failed at convincing her, I gave up. I gave her what she wants and that's her freedom. However, when we were talking, I asked her what she would miss and I asked her if she's going to miss having the sex part. She said yes and I told her that we can still do it. Which she agreed given that it can help me move on. So basically we're in an open relationship.
The question is.. is this natural? Or am I setting myself up for another heartbreak?
I also told her that if ever we get back together, things will level up... and that's getting married. Now, I want her back but I'm not sure if I want to marry her.
Am I just being selfish here?
I'm already applying for a new job so I can leave my current company.
I need help..