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sadguy87
Dec 21, 2013, 01:05 AM
I'm going to start from the beginning. We got together the 17 of June and everything went great. There were never any problems and we were happy together. She started working somewhere else in the beginning of November where she first had to take a course. The course is very exausting with a lot of sport, she also has to get up at 05:00 hrs and is home at around 18:00. I noticed that she was very tired and stressed and I helped her the only way I could, supporting her. I noticed she didn't have a lot of energy, she fell asleep early all the time. I didn't have a problem with that because I know what it is to have a tiring course. I'm in the army by the way.

This Tuesday we were 6 months together and I bought her a necklace and earrings and it seemed that everything was perfect, we cuddled. Everything was OK. Wednesday I went to work and we where joking around a little bit with texting and she asked me if it was a problem if I didn't went to her house that evening and the next too because she had a trip on Thursday with work to learn more about the job and an exam on Friday. I asked if it was possible to go there Wednesday evening because she didn't had to study a lot just to see her. She really wanted to study. I just got back from two weeks of exercise at work the Friday before. I told her it was OK, that I didn't have a problem with that and that I would miss her.

Then it started: why do you send that so much lately (It wasn't more then before). At the moment she doesn't know what to do, she is stressed with the exams, tired because a lot of sport. She doesn't know where her head is. Thursday I went over to talk and she told me there were never any problems, that she was very happy. We even never had an argument because we were on the same wavelength al the time .That she didn't know it at the moment that she had those feelings for a short time. That she is stressed with the course, that it is physically draining. That she had to rush to eat and everything and that she didn't have enough time to rest after work until I got there. She still has feelings for me and doesn't want to lose me and wants to be friends.

I understand what she is going through because during my training I also didn't know it all the time. I suggested to take a break until a little bit after the exams (which ends the third of January) and she said "at the moment no sorry". Because of this I still have hope. When she starts the normal working life she wouldn't have the stress of the course and exams. Then she can think straight and get her feelings on order (I hope). I'm just going to send something on Christmas and New Year and on her birthday the 27 th of December. She doesn't have to work between the two holidays. I hope with not bothering her she sees that she misses me and how much I mean to her. I will try to get together on the third of January, together with some friends.

Am I doing the right thing by doing this? I still want to be friends with her because she means a lot to me and I don't want to lose her .Better a friend then nothing right. By doing this I have a bit of hope that we will get back together . She didn't remove all the pictures of us together on fb so maybe it's a sign. Can anyone who has been through a similar thing give me some suggestions?

talaniman
Dec 21, 2013, 01:21 PM
Leave her alone until she contacts you. No its not better than nothing to stay friends I hopes she changes her mind about a romance with you. There must be a healing time so if she misses you enough she will want you back, and being just friend but hoping for more that may not come is misery, and torture, and stops the healing process.

Chimp83
Dec 22, 2013, 02:30 AM
Been through similar. I made it 4 months. I'm a shy guy move slow. She broke it off, so I would give her a few weeks and check in. That went on for nine more months with her not making time to see me. Not knowing what she wanted, but not wanting to let me go was the reason. Finally I had to tell her I was going to stop waiting. And hopefully she'd call me when she knew what she wanted.

I like the post above. Seems close to what I'd have to say.

talaniman
Dec 22, 2013, 06:28 AM
You should stop waiting as soon as you get dumped. The sooner, the better. Easier said than done.

Homegirl 50
Dec 23, 2013, 04:31 PM
Leave her alone. Go about your life. She will contact you when and if she wants and then you can decide if you want her back. Take the break, which means end the relationship.