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View Full Version : Should I just be able to get over this like he wants?


sarahcait
Dec 4, 2013, 01:57 PM
My fiancé says that I should be over my childhood/teenage abuse. I just turned 22 in sept. I moved out of my parents house a few months before I turned 18. My mother has depression/anxiety and my dad has an anger problem. Since I was born they didn't want me and I stayed mostly with my grandma which was great. I started school when I was 3 almost 4 yrs old and they sent me to a baby sitter where I was molested daily by a teenage boy (embarrassed and shamed cause he did it in front of other people some times), the mother made me eat soap daily, made me have a bath with her son that was much older then me, made me sit naked in front of everyone, threaten to beat me. I told my mom and she laughed at me and said it wasn't true :(. Then at home I was starved slowly got less food as my life went on, my mother beat me with a belt couple times a week for years, tons of terrible things happened ill list a few of the worst, my mother told me she hated me and wanted to kill herself because of me. She had my brother 6 years after me and wanted him and gave him everything he needed and wanted right in front of me and made me suffer and hate him. Hid my clothes from me and wouldn't wash them or let me wash them, locked doors so I couldn't get to things like the washer or food, made me eat expired food, moldy food. Humiliated me when I stole chocolate bars from her and ate them all, any chance she got she would humiliate me or make me feel shame for what I had to do. Never bought tampons, razers, anything like that that I needed I had to steal or ask around for them same with food. Told me to leave there house when I was 6 handed me my coat in winter and told me to leave there house(which at 6 is scary) they were just taunting me, my dad beat me and yelled at me in front of everyone and I begged my mom to make him stop and she said I deserve it and all I did was ask for one new outfit from walmart for my first day of high school because I always had second hand clothes that were ugly and too small. Then after he did that told me to wash the dishes while they went out as a family to do something fun. Also when I was in grade 1 my dad dragged my face across the living room carpet which was a gross strachy carpet that made my face have really bad rug burn and kids at school made fun of me for it. Every time I got sick they didn't take care of me or take me to the dr. I had a terrible ear infection and they picked at my ear and didn't take me to the hospital till I was screaming in pain for days. Then one time when I was about 8 I had double pneumonia and they finally took me to the hospital. Since I was 7 my mother made me work at various of her jobs paper routes, cleaning apartments, washing dishes for a catering company, and would take the money she said I made. Left me alone in our house one summer when I was 14 where a man (19 yr old) stalked me and went to my church and started dating me and kept coming to my house forcing himself on me (sexual stuff not sex thankfully) and my parents new about him but didn't care. I finally got him to go away for good years later but it wasn't easy. He did a lot of creepy stuff to me like hid in the bushes at night in front of my house, hid under my windows and listen to my conversations, take my clothes and hold me down, tell me all this stuff I needed to change, said I can't go anywhere without him, etc. he was a child predator, then when I was 16 I had a best friend (boy) that I loved and trusted but he got me really drunk at a party and raped me and never talked to me again afterwards. So that's some of the horrors that were my life. I stopped talking to my parents but my mother still tries to mess with me a couple times a year calling FB messaging me etc. anyway my Fiancé says that this happened a long time ago and I should just get over it by now and that its not happening any more so its fine. Is he right am I just holding on to the past for some reason. Should I be able to forget all this and move forward by 22 years old?

CravenMorhead
Dec 4, 2013, 02:15 PM
Why would anyone believe that, given all that is true, you'd be over that by time you were 22? Or 42 for that matter? I hate to say it but that kind of stuff can mess a person up really bad. Have you managed to talk to a therapist about all this? I am assuming that you're out on your own and prospering such as you can?

When you look at it, and I use this all the time, life is a pile of poo. Most people will complain about it because it is all crap but the brave few will take this as it is and make something out of it.

Also I think you might have a good case for charges against your parents. I would talk to a police officer or even a lawyer about this.

Make sure you talk to a therapist. It will help a lot in the long run.