BLAZON
Nov 26, 2013, 08:45 PM
I have been quite confused for nearly the past two weeks.
I have been in love with this girl since about Feb or March. And like the last time I was in love with a girl, my ability to not be nervous when talking to the girl became difficult ever since I realized my feelings for her. Unfortunately, this has caused me to be unable to ask her out to a semi-formal dance our school held after she had finally return from her 3-month exchange. And then, after exams, I failed at any chance I'd have to ask her out. And then, another chance I could have had was when I saw her (with her exchange student) at registration (she was helping her e.s. get registered), and just seeing her surprised me so much, and I, again, didn't take any chance to ask her out, or even to make conversation with them. After that, the only way I had been keeping contact with her was through Facebook messaging, although I had seen her e.s. and mother (who's a teacher at my school) around a few times. And then, on the first Oct, I had done this before once or twice, I wished a happy first of Oct. And right when I had attempted to send her another message that night, it was indicated that her account blocked communication with mine. She had told me before that she worked night shifts at a job, and it said so on her profile page as well. For the past 2 months, the only way I find I could contact her again is finding her mother and starting up a conversation (and somewhere bring up Michaela--'how she's doing' and stuff like that), her e.s. possibly through Skype (I'm not sure, but I think I may have found her Skype profile), and using an alternative account on Facebook. Only thing is, if she did intentionally block me (not a wrong button or Fb glitch, etc.), I don't want to disrespect her wishes. Where I come from with the stuff about Facebook glitching is that I had been blocked by another friend on Facebook before, and when I asked him in person about it, and he didn't know that he blocked me (we're good friends, so no, he's not lying).
And then, 12 days ago, we were doing CPR/First Aid/AED training. Honestly, I felt like I kind of liked her again, when I saw this other girl I've known since grade 9 end up being in the same 2-day class as me. And then, it finally came, when we were practising doing CPR procedures on their dummies, in which the teacher had put us with partners based on our seating arrangement, and, what do I know, the girl and I got to be partners for the exercise. When we got to the CPR practise on the dummies, it was like a dream of mine came true, getting to work with this girl. We helped each other out by CPRing our dummies. Next thing I know, now we got to position our partners into the recovery position. And again, wow! After that, she complimented me on how apparently well I did, and on our way back, I thanked her for the help. For those two days, I felt like I got to do what I could never before--fall in love with her. I know this was just CPR training and everything, but it came over me that day--I was in love with this other girl.
I also had had dreams about both girls. I think my dream about the first girl was maybe somewhat romantic, more friendly, in my opinion. But we were hanging out at her place and having a good time. But my dream about the other girl... we were actually 'together'. She wore the exact coat she actually has. And we even kissed (sorry to those who don't like that description).
To this day, after all that, I've been so confused. I've been in love with the first girl for so long. She was kind to me in high school, and really just everything. I still feel like and want to think she is the one for me. But after CPR training, I've also now had feelings for the other girl, whom I've known longer, and all that stuff. She even had asked me if she could be my groupie (because I've done electronic music production)--which when I looked up the definition, found the part of it that was about 'sexual intimacy'.
But anyhow, I thought I'd come back and see what help/advice I could get from you guys. I do have plans, but I'm not sure how they'll work, or if they will.
Thanks!
I have been in love with this girl since about Feb or March. And like the last time I was in love with a girl, my ability to not be nervous when talking to the girl became difficult ever since I realized my feelings for her. Unfortunately, this has caused me to be unable to ask her out to a semi-formal dance our school held after she had finally return from her 3-month exchange. And then, after exams, I failed at any chance I'd have to ask her out. And then, another chance I could have had was when I saw her (with her exchange student) at registration (she was helping her e.s. get registered), and just seeing her surprised me so much, and I, again, didn't take any chance to ask her out, or even to make conversation with them. After that, the only way I had been keeping contact with her was through Facebook messaging, although I had seen her e.s. and mother (who's a teacher at my school) around a few times. And then, on the first Oct, I had done this before once or twice, I wished a happy first of Oct. And right when I had attempted to send her another message that night, it was indicated that her account blocked communication with mine. She had told me before that she worked night shifts at a job, and it said so on her profile page as well. For the past 2 months, the only way I find I could contact her again is finding her mother and starting up a conversation (and somewhere bring up Michaela--'how she's doing' and stuff like that), her e.s. possibly through Skype (I'm not sure, but I think I may have found her Skype profile), and using an alternative account on Facebook. Only thing is, if she did intentionally block me (not a wrong button or Fb glitch, etc.), I don't want to disrespect her wishes. Where I come from with the stuff about Facebook glitching is that I had been blocked by another friend on Facebook before, and when I asked him in person about it, and he didn't know that he blocked me (we're good friends, so no, he's not lying).
And then, 12 days ago, we were doing CPR/First Aid/AED training. Honestly, I felt like I kind of liked her again, when I saw this other girl I've known since grade 9 end up being in the same 2-day class as me. And then, it finally came, when we were practising doing CPR procedures on their dummies, in which the teacher had put us with partners based on our seating arrangement, and, what do I know, the girl and I got to be partners for the exercise. When we got to the CPR practise on the dummies, it was like a dream of mine came true, getting to work with this girl. We helped each other out by CPRing our dummies. Next thing I know, now we got to position our partners into the recovery position. And again, wow! After that, she complimented me on how apparently well I did, and on our way back, I thanked her for the help. For those two days, I felt like I got to do what I could never before--fall in love with her. I know this was just CPR training and everything, but it came over me that day--I was in love with this other girl.
I also had had dreams about both girls. I think my dream about the first girl was maybe somewhat romantic, more friendly, in my opinion. But we were hanging out at her place and having a good time. But my dream about the other girl... we were actually 'together'. She wore the exact coat she actually has. And we even kissed (sorry to those who don't like that description).
To this day, after all that, I've been so confused. I've been in love with the first girl for so long. She was kind to me in high school, and really just everything. I still feel like and want to think she is the one for me. But after CPR training, I've also now had feelings for the other girl, whom I've known longer, and all that stuff. She even had asked me if she could be my groupie (because I've done electronic music production)--which when I looked up the definition, found the part of it that was about 'sexual intimacy'.
But anyhow, I thought I'd come back and see what help/advice I could get from you guys. I do have plans, but I'm not sure how they'll work, or if they will.
Thanks!