Hello. I'm curious as to whether a person can be considered bisexual if that person has only been with members of one sex? I'm a middle aged male that has been with women but I do feel a sexual attraction to men as well. Thanks.

Yes, I would consider you bi and there is no problem with that. Does it bother you that you are attracted to men? You may never act out on it though.

Bisexuality, along with homosexual, hetrosexual, pansexual, and the rest, are merely labels that attempt to categorize something that is really a spectrum rather then discrete states. If we just take sexual orientation there isn't a ABSOLUTE hetrosexual nor is there an ABSOLUTE Homosexual. There is just varying degrees. Someone might 95% hetro but believe that if George Clooney asked him to bend over that he would grab his ankles in a heart beat.

Bisexuality is more of being attracted to both genders. It is in the 50:50 range. This doesn't mean that you have equal partners of both genders but you're open to both. Some days you feel like and others not so much. You understand this but there is another wrinkle to this. Bisexuality has been largely romanticized in the last little bit because of societies acceptance of non-hetro orientations. I say this because there are a lot of people that think they are but when they go to explore find it is not at all what they expected.

A lot of people as well don't really accept and explore their sexuality until they're well into their sexual years. It is a lot of accepting what you're told you should like, shouldn't like, and finding yourself disappointed with it all. That is when, if possible, sexual exploration occurs and you really figure out what you like.

With all that being said, and to answer your question, yes. You can considering your bisexual if you've only been with women. You're young. That might change.

Yes, I would consider you bi and there is no problem with that. Does it bother you that you are attracted to men? You may never act out on it though.

It does bother me some that I am attracted to men because of my early catholic upbringing, you know, it was pounded into my head that homosexuality was wrong. It's kind of hard to shake. But I've come to believe that the Bible isn't all God's word. I think some of it may be His truth, but I don't believe everything is. And thank you for your response.


Bisexuality, along with homosexual, hetrosexual, pansexual, and the rest, are merely labels that attempt to categorize something that is really a spectrum rather then discrete states. If we just take sexual orientation there isn't a ABSOLUTE hetrosexual nor is there an ABSOLUTE Homosexual. There is just varying degrees. Someone might 95% hetro but believe that if George Clooney asked him to bend over that he would grab his ankles in a heart beat.

Bisexuality is more of being attracted to both genders. It is in the 50:50 range. This doesn't mean that you have equal partners of both genders but you're open to both. Some days you feel like and others not so much. You understand this but there is another wrinkle to this. Bisexuality has been largely romanticized in the last little bit because of societies acceptance of non-hetro orientations. I say this because there are a lot of people that think they are but when they go to explore find it is not at all what they expected.

A lot of people as well don't really accept and explore their sexuality until they're well into their sexual years. It is a lot of accepting what you're told you should like, shouldn't like, and finding yourself disappointed with it all. That is when, if possible, sexual exploration occurs and you really figure out what you like.

With all that being said, and to answer your question, yes. You can considering your bisexual if you've only been with women. You're young. That might change.

Thanks for your reply. I've been thinking about this for awhile now and I guess I'm in the process of accepting my bisexuality.

There are a ton of studies questioning whether bisexuality exists. If it does exist it is a much smaller percent of the population. CravenMorHead said:

"I say this because there are a lot of people that think they are but when they go to explore find it is not at all what they expected."

I totally agree. So in exploring this you need to be prepared for the answers you find. Being taught by the church, parents, or society that homosexuality is wrong at an early age may suggest your feelings for males has been repressed.

I am curious as to whether you are married, and if you are, that opens up another part of your life that needs to be explored.

Talaniman Rule - Define yourself, or others will define you. They could be wrong!

You are in the middle of a process that's all about you, and how you feel about yourself. Labels and titles are misleading and a temporary feel good but what's important is YOU finding out how YOU feel. Does your attraction to men rise to the level of doing something about it? Are you open to explore and experiment? How long have you had those feelings?

Sex/Lust is but a small part of who you are and will fade when the sex/lust wears off. What comes next is the bigger issue, not what or why you are attracted, or what you want to call it.

Talaniman Rule - Define yourself, or others will define you. They could be wrong!

You are in the middle of a process that's all about you, and how you feel about yourself. Labels and titles are misleading and a temporary feel good but what's important is YOU finding out how YOU feel. Does your attraction to men rise to the level of doing something about it? Are you open to explore and experiment? How long have you had those feelings?

Sex/Lust is but a small part of who you are and will fade when the sex/lust wears off. What comes next is the bigger issue, not what or why you are attracted, or what you want to call it.

Muy good post.

@jake 2008, No, I'm not married but am in a relationship. I have not told her.

@jake 2008, No, I'm not married but am in a relationship. I have not told her.

I know you know this but cheating is cheating regardless of who it is. Since this will be self discovery and an important self discovery, you need to be honest with her - honest to the point where you leave the relationship and not cheat. If you feel you need to tell her why then that is up to you.

I wish you all the best on this journey. A relationship with a man can be as fulfilling as with a woman. Trust me I know.

@jake 2008, No, I'm not married but am in a relationship. I have not told her.

That's down right dishonest. Wouldn't you rather know that your partner wanted to explore sex with others? That they questioned the commitment? How would you feel if they were as dishonest as you are?

Yes this would be cheating.

Even more than the cheating part (which is not to minimize it because I hate cheating/dishonesty), this self discovery doesn't need the added pressure and stress that cheating, lying, and hiding would bring. You are going to have enough to deal with in dealing with all of the new feelings and emotions.