jaidjen
Nov 19, 2013, 11:27 AM
Hello, I have an issue with my friend and I need advice. I'm going to discuss in detail the issue and I apologize in advance for the length. Any help is greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.
My friend, Sasha, is in a financial bind and I have helped her out the past 6 months by loaning her money. The first time she borrowed, she told me she will give me the money back in a month. I told her no problem. After two months, I asked her about the loan and she asked if she can pay me back in a month. I said OK. She sent me a check to pay for her loan and I deposited it in the bank. We met for coffee two weeks later and she mentioned that when the check she wrote me went through it created a negative balance on her account and she ended up having $200 in NSF fees. I felt bad for her but at the same time I don't think I'm responsible for her financial issues.
Two months later, on a trip, she didn't have cash and she asked to borrow cash from me and she said she will write me a check and give it to me before the trip ends. I said OK. The night before the end of the trip, I reminded her to give me the check before I board the plane. She did not. So when I got home I asked her about it and said she'll mail it to me when she's in Seattle (she has a 2 week stay there) and I said OK. After a month, and she's already home in NY, I asked her when she mailed the check because I still don't have it. She said she'll mail me the check as soon as the payment for the car she sold clears and it just cleared that day. I said OK. A week later, I got the check. Thinking of the last time I cashed her check that created NSF issue for her, I sent her a text letting her know I got the check and if it's OK to cash it or does she need me to hold off. I asked because I want to give her a heads up that I am cashing the check and also to help her avoid fees if for some reason by the time I got the check she doesn't have enough funds on her account. My intent was to be considerate.
She got mad at me. She said after constantly asking about the check, how dare I ask her if I should cash it. She said that I made her feel like a loser, a bum and a worthless person. I was shocked! I explained to her that that was so not my intent at all and I apologized for unintentionally hurting her feelings. She went on and on about how lousy of a friend I am and how passive aggressive I am and how I create drama. At that point I told her again how sorry I am and that it was not my intent to hurt her feelings as I was trying to help her. She said she's irritated with me and doesn't want to talk to me.
At this point I just left her alone and I figured that she will eventually calm down and start talking to me again. However, she's been posting negative stuff about me in social media and telling friends how lousy of a friend I am.
Not sure what to do now. Am I wrong in this situation? Should I try to apologize some more until she forgives me? So confused and need help.
Thank you!
My friend, Sasha, is in a financial bind and I have helped her out the past 6 months by loaning her money. The first time she borrowed, she told me she will give me the money back in a month. I told her no problem. After two months, I asked her about the loan and she asked if she can pay me back in a month. I said OK. She sent me a check to pay for her loan and I deposited it in the bank. We met for coffee two weeks later and she mentioned that when the check she wrote me went through it created a negative balance on her account and she ended up having $200 in NSF fees. I felt bad for her but at the same time I don't think I'm responsible for her financial issues.
Two months later, on a trip, she didn't have cash and she asked to borrow cash from me and she said she will write me a check and give it to me before the trip ends. I said OK. The night before the end of the trip, I reminded her to give me the check before I board the plane. She did not. So when I got home I asked her about it and said she'll mail it to me when she's in Seattle (she has a 2 week stay there) and I said OK. After a month, and she's already home in NY, I asked her when she mailed the check because I still don't have it. She said she'll mail me the check as soon as the payment for the car she sold clears and it just cleared that day. I said OK. A week later, I got the check. Thinking of the last time I cashed her check that created NSF issue for her, I sent her a text letting her know I got the check and if it's OK to cash it or does she need me to hold off. I asked because I want to give her a heads up that I am cashing the check and also to help her avoid fees if for some reason by the time I got the check she doesn't have enough funds on her account. My intent was to be considerate.
She got mad at me. She said after constantly asking about the check, how dare I ask her if I should cash it. She said that I made her feel like a loser, a bum and a worthless person. I was shocked! I explained to her that that was so not my intent at all and I apologized for unintentionally hurting her feelings. She went on and on about how lousy of a friend I am and how passive aggressive I am and how I create drama. At that point I told her again how sorry I am and that it was not my intent to hurt her feelings as I was trying to help her. She said she's irritated with me and doesn't want to talk to me.
At this point I just left her alone and I figured that she will eventually calm down and start talking to me again. However, she's been posting negative stuff about me in social media and telling friends how lousy of a friend I am.
Not sure what to do now. Am I wrong in this situation? Should I try to apologize some more until she forgives me? So confused and need help.
Thank you!