I am the bosses wife and one of my husbands workers is not very supportive about me working there.She has a very bad attitude and askes what I want and does not want me to be around her at all, what should I do to correct the situation?

There is nothing to correct. Respect her and go about your business. If you do a good job and show that you aren't just there because you are the boss's wife, then you will gain the respect of your fellow coworkers. Now if she is harassing you especially after you tell her to stop, then you can file a formal complaint.

Is she one of a few workers or one on many workers? Will her attitude affect the performance of the company? Do you two have to share information and cooperate with each other to do your jobs? If yes, you have to talk to your supervisor or husband whichever the case may be. This is one of the disadvantages of folks working for relatives and which is not allowed by many companies and government agencies.

Thank goodness it's not a government agencie,it's a dentist office and she is one person who I knew from the start one day, I would have to stick up for myself . I do have to share only handing the bank deposit slip to her , but I noticed she is very angry every time I give it to her. Is that normal or is it me? And By the way your words are very comforting thank you Edwina.

Did your husband put you there to check into the finances? Are you doing some of the financial work she used to do on her own? Could she be interpreting your presence as an accusation that she was not properly handling finances or worse?

Thank goodness it's not a government agencie,it's a dentist office and she is one person who I knew from the start one day, I would have to stick up for myself . I do have to share only handing the bank deposit slip to her , but I noticed she is very angry every time I give it to her. Is that normal or is it me? And By the way your words are very comforting thank you Edwina.

How does she interact with other people?

If you 'knew from the start that 'one day [you] would have to stick up for [yourself]', is it possible that you might be subconsciously acting in a negative way to her and she is reacting to your attitude?

Is that really how she is acting or are you expecting the worse and reading those thoughts into her demeanor?

Who manages the office? Who should you take personal interaction issues to for mediation?

Often a wife is resented because her husband puts her on the payroll just to add to the family income, and the salary is high for the amount of work and experience required. If she is a bookkeeper, for instance, and you make more than she does, she is bound to resent you. But that is not your problem, and she needs to keep it to herself. Your husband needs to tell her this if you can't do it yourself. But aside from that, you have to show her that you aren't interested in her angry behavior. It won't be easy. It takes a certain amount of looking her in the eye without fear. You could say something like 'Let's all just do our jobs and be professional' and walk away. Say it just loudly enough that others can hear you, but calmly.

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to joypulv again.

I think there is a very likely a money issue of some kind here too.

I'm not one for allowing anyone to treat me with disrespect. A little courtesy goes a long way, even if the person can't stand you for some reason.

She probably feels either threatened, or she has something to hide. That could be a million things, and could simply be her place in the pecking order that she wants to protect.

I would just ask her for a few minutes of her time. Take her to a private office, and ask her what the problem is. Start by telling her that you are feeling negativity and disrespected. See if she tells you you are wrong, and that she's sorry you feel that way, etc. That should be the end of it. You state the problem, she acknowledges it. She cools her negative jets, because it is out in the open.

People with this type of attitude in the work place, poison the working relationships, of everyone. I doubt she keeps her feelings to herself, and before you know it, you will become aware that others are uncomfortable- with her- and, wondering about you.

I would nip this in the bud.

Don't let anybody treat you with disrespect.

I am having a difficult time thinking that the attitude issue is all the fault of the other person.

When someone tells me that they went into a situation expecting to have problems with a person, I have to wonder if they have created their own drama.

The only negative attitude the op has mentioned is that the other employee supposedly shows 'anger' when the op hands over a deposit slip. This may simply be a case of miscommunication and self-fulfilling expectations.

The other person may be the type to remain distant and non-talkative (all business) with people who she doesn't consider 'friends'. It may be coming across as anger simply because she isn't being overly friendly.

She may also seem harsher than she really is if others in the office are fawning over the new hire who happens to be the boss' wife.

Do you work 'with' your husband which would make you his equal or 'for' him which would make you an employee just like her?

How does she interact with other people?

If you 'knew from the start that 'one day [you] would have to stick up for [yourself]', is it possible that you might be subconsciously acting in a negative way to her and she is reacting to your attitude?

Is that really how she is acting or are you expecting the worse and reading those thoughts into her demeanor?

Who manages the office? Who should you take personal interaction issues to for mediation? Answer to the first question she is the same too other people ,I just noticed today . Second I could be acting in a negative way Im not sure, and don't know it. Third the demeaner could be true. Fourth My Husband is the mediatior. thank you Edwina


Often a wife is resented because her husband puts her on the payroll just to add to the family income, and the salary is high for the amount of work and experience required. If she is a bookkeeper, for instance, and you make more than she does, she is bound to resent you. But that is not your problem, and she needs to keep it to herself. Your husband needs to tell her this if you can't do it yourself. But aside from that, you have to show her that you aren't interested in her angry behavior. It won't be easy. It takes a certain amount of looking her in the eye without fear. You could say something like 'Let's all just do our jobs and be professional' and walk away. Say it just loudly enough that others can hear you, but calmly. I just love this answer and I will tell you why, I think that the wife probably is resented because of that reason ,but what if the wife which is me is not making more money then the bookeeper? Just yesterday my husband did talk to her and her bad attitude changed traumatically what a supprise .I did think maybe she was mad because I have a different schedule then she has and I have to leave early some days.could this be true?


Oh and on Monday I will have a talk with her and do the walk away calmly.


I'm not one for allowing anyone to treat me with disrespect. A little courtesy goes a long way, even if the person can't stand you for some reason.

She probably feels either threatened, or she has something to hide. That could be a million things, and could simply be her place in the pecking order that she wants to protect.

I would just ask her for a few minutes of her time. Take her to a private office, and ask her what the problem is. Start by telling her that you are feeling negativity and disrespected. See if she tells you you are wrong, and that she's sorry you feel that way, etc. That should be the end of it. You state the problem, she acknowledges it. She cools her negative jets, because it is out in the open.

People with this type of attitude in the work place, poison the working relationships, of everyone. I doubt she keeps her feelings to herself, and before you know it, you will become aware that others are uncomfortable- with her- and, wondering about you.

I would nip this in the bud.

Don't let anybody treat you with disrespect. All that you have said is true, I feel that this is a good way to solve this problem thank you so much, Edwina .


Did your husband put you there to check into the finances? Are you doing some of the financial work she used to do on her own? Could she be interpreting your presence as an accusation that she was not properly handling finances or worse? The answer to the first question is no Im not there to check up on her, No Im not doing her work.I don't think that she feels that way.

I have a feeling all that you ask 'could it be true' is true. You are the one there each day, and know more than we do.
Now that she has changed her attitude, maybe you don't have to confront her at all. Save it for a day when it might be needed.
As time goes on, a lot of this should get better.
Every other day or so, say or ask a little something about each co-worker's commutes, children, hair, clothes - tiny ways to show some care as the boss's wife, without being too involved in their lives (or too phony). Once a month or so, bring in some carrot sticks and dip or fruit (no candy, I guess, in a dentist's office?) for the office, or some healthy muffins. Food is always a good way to make people happy.

I have a feeling all that you ask 'could it be true' is true. You are the one there each day, and know more than we do.
Now that she has changed her attitude, maybe you don't have to confront her at all. Save it for a day when it might be needed.
As time goes on, a lot of this should get better.
Every other day or so, say or ask a little something about each co-worker's commutes, children, hair, clothes - tiny ways to show some care as the boss's wife, without being too involved in their lives (or too phony). Once a month or so, bring in some carrot sticks and dip or fruit (no candy, I guess, in a dentist's office?) for the office, or some healthy muffins. Food is always a good way to make people happy. I think I will talk to her soon so things don't build up like this time , it's Funny how things have a way of working themselves out over time. I think food always gets people togeather. Thank you for being there to help me. Edwina