I'm 11 and I have a crush on a girl and she likes me too I wanted to know how I could ask her out?

If she likes you too, it sounds like a slam dunk. But what would you do with her in "going out"? At your age, does that mostly mean hang out after school or at each other's homes or sit together at lunch? Do you live in a town or a rural area with farms? How easy would it be to see her during and after school?

And you do realize, don't you, that she needs her parents' permission (and you do from yours too) to "go out" with someone.

You say, "Hey, I'll pick you up at 8 and we'll go to Olive Garden"....Oh, wait...you're only 11....hmmmm....Oh! I know!!!! Try this, "Maybe my parents can call your parents and ask if it's ok if they take both of us to the movies."

You're in 6th grade...you can't "go out". Be friends with her.

There's no need to be like that, just because he's 11? You can have a relationship at that age even if it isn't the kind that older people have. He asked a question, who are we to judge?
If you still want to do it, then you should ask to talk to her in private, away from any friends. Then you should just ask her. Don't do any 'cute' tricks like holding her hands and looking into her eyes because you are young and it might freak her out? Haha just be yourself :)

There's no need to be like that, just because he's 11? You can have a relationship at that age even if it isn't the kind that older people have. He asked a question, who are we to judge?
If you still want to do it, then you should ask to talk to her in private, away from any friends. Then you should just ask her. Don't do any 'cute' tricks like holding her hands and looking into her eyes because you are young and it might freak her out? Haha just be yourself :)

Yes there IS a need to be like that. The media has glorified romantic relationships to the point where young children unprepared physically and emotionally, are trying to emulate adult behavior. Often with tragic consequences.

So yes, we have to make a judgment call about it. Children are trying to grow up too fast. They need to let themselves be children as long as they can. And a 15 yr old who doesn't have the experience to understand that is doing them a disservice by encouraging them.

I just mean that there's no need to be so rude and insulting about it. Like you were to me? Yes I'm 15 but that doesn't mean that I'm immature and that my opinions are irrelevant. Perhaps the fact that I'm 15 means I'm more suitable to answer this question because I have a better understanding of children and their relationships? Are you aware that a sixth grade relationship isn't the same as an adult relationship? They're not going to be going on dates, kissing, or anything else along those lines. You said that I 'don't have experience and won't understand' yet clearly I understand better than you do.

Are you aware that a sixth grade relationship isn't the same as an adult relationship? They're not going to be going on dates, kissing, or anything else along those lines.
Oh, c'mon. Boys in 6th grade were trying to kiss (etc.) girls back in the 1950s when I was that age. And in the '70s and '80s when my kids were that age. I'm sure nothing has changed.

I know plenty of people that age with boyfriends/girlfriends and honestly most barely even speak to each other. And the very most they would possibly do is kiss, we're not talking about sex or anything here? All I was trying to do was help the person asking as every other answer seemed to be taking the mess out of the asker, rather than attempting to be constructive and helpful.

rather than attempting to be constructive and helpful.
Please reread my first reply to the 11 year old. I have no idea why you think it isn't constructive and helpful.

And what was wrong with mine? I said to be friends with her...at that age, that's all you really need...and to be honest...that is the FIRST step in any type of relationship anyway...friends first.

The question was how he should ask someone out? Not WHETHER he should do so because evidently his mind was already made up. Please don't think that I'm trying to insult you because all I was attempting to do was to help. I do feel that it's slightly unfair for somebody to tell me that I'm inexperienced and don't understand. Obviously I don't have as much relationship experience as the both of you, but I'm very mature for my age and felt that I could offer some valuable insight, and that making jokes and mocking the asker due to his age was inappropriate. The remark I made about not being constructive and helpful was primarily aimed at the second answer.


And what was wrong with mine? I said to be friends with her...at that age, that's all you really need...and to be honest...that is the FIRST step in any type of relationship anyway...friends first.

I was referring to the 'joke' prior to this advice

I was referring to the 'joke' prior to this advice

Oh, I feel so ashamed...I will try to do better on future answers.

I'm glad that you realise your mistake :)

The question was how he should ask someone out?
Children at that age cannot go "out" because there is nowhere they can go "out" to (yup, a date to Olive Garden is not an option) -- unless it is a supervised social thing for their age group under the auspices of a church or school, for instance, or a family get together. So it boils down to parental permission for any activity together and basically just friendship. Anything more than that makes me wonder what they will be doing by age 15.

It's just a term, it doesn't mean that they'll be going out for a meal at a restaurant etc. And many people have a boyfriend/girlfriend in sixth grade; it doesn't mean that they'll be any more sexually active than others at 15.

Children at that age cannot go "out" because there is nowhere they can go "out" to (yup, a date to Olive Garden is not an option) -- unless it is a supervised social thing for their age group under the auspices of a church or school, for instance, or a family get together. So it boils down to parental permission for any activity together and basically just friendship. Anything more than that makes me wonder what they will be doing by age 15.

See? Wondergirl gets the Olive Garden reference...of course!

The funny thing here is that you seem to forget that those of us who are older than you and have more experience...the ones that you are claiming don't know anything...well, we were once kids too....you know? So we already lived this. We were there. We can now look back and realize the mistakes us and others made...and try to keep others from the same mistakes. I still say he should just worry about being friends...he still needs time to be a kid.

I've never heard of Olive Garden :') maybe because I'm from the uk?

See? Wondergirl gets the Olive Garden reference...of course!
And is the food at Olive Garden even that good? (I've heard it isn't.) I'd go to a Greek Islands restaurant or to Denny's for an anytime-of-day breakfast. Or to McDonald's and play in their kiddieland (if I were 11).

The food is a little better than mediocre. It actually depends on the actual one you go to.

..the ones that you are claiming don't know anything...
Absolutely nowhere did I say that you don't know anything? And yes, I also have been through this. Because I did so more recently and know children of this age, perhaps I am more aware of the type of relationship children of this age have? I am currently in year 11 (the last year of secondary/high school) and thinks have probably changed since 40 odd years ago.

Absolutely nowhere did I say that you don't know anything? And yes, I also have been through this. Because I did so more recently and know children of this age, perhaps I am more aware of the type of relationship children of this age have? I am currently in year 11 (the last year of secondary/high school) and thinks have probably changed since 40 odd years ago.

Funny that you make this statement as you have no clue how old I even am. Am I 17? Am I 27? 37? 47? 77? You have no idea.

Do I maybe have a kid in this age bracket? Do I have 2 kids?

You have no clue and you never will. I get that you're trying to help the kid...but so were we...and...YES, we do know more than you because life has taught us.

I'm done here now though, I have other things to do...like clean my dentures, wash my polyester pant suit, and listen to the old Victrola.

I just mean that there's no need to be so rude and insulting about it. Like you were to me? Yes I'm 15 but that doesn't mean that I'm immature and that my opinions are irrelevant. Perhaps the fact that I'm 15 means I'm more suitable to answer this question because I have a better understanding of children and their relationships? Are you aware that a sixth grade relationship isn't the same as an adult relationship? They're not going to be going on dates, kissing, or anything else along those lines. You said that I 'don't have experience and won't understand' yet clearly I understand better than you do.

I didn't insult you. I stated facts. I didn't call you immature, but clearly you don't have the experience that others have. And no your being 15 does not make you more suitable to answer. It simply means that you are too close to the problem to understand it. You're right they are not going to go on what an adult, or even a teenager would consider a date. But most don't understand that. As I said, they are trying to emulate adult behaviors they are not prepared for. We had a question posted not too long ago from someone claiming to be 10 who told about her boyfriend undressing her and she wanting to have sex. So clearly you don't understand the problem better than I.

I will say it again, encouraging children to emulate adult behaviors is irresponsible.

Wondergirl stated how old she was, I wasn't talking about you. And age doesn't always mean wisdom. Why can't you look past the fact that I'm 15 and realise that it doesn't mean 'I don't understand it' but rather that maybe your age means you don't as you continuously seem to imply that they will be doing sexual things. In a minority of cases, this may be true, however the asker is more than likely not somebody who wants to undress somebody and have sex with them, so why blow this out of proportion? I don't agree with them doing things like that, I don't agree with them going on dates, but I really don't see why he shouldn't be allowed a girlfriend. It is perfectly normal in today's society. Please stop talking down to me because of my age, as I am probably just as mature and just as intelligent as you. (That doesn't mean that I think you're not intelligent or mature)

I'm not going to get into a prolonged argument with you so this is the last post I will allow on the subject.

No I'm not implying that sexual activity is a given. But think about it, They can't go out on dates, so all they really can do is hang out. And after some time, sex will become an issue, And how do you know he's not likely to be that kind? Just as I can't know he is, you can't know he isn't. But even if it doesn't lead to sex, the likelihood of the relationship lasting is small and children that age are not as well equipped to deal with the emotions of breakups.

Why can't you look past the fact that I'm an adult so I can't know what children are like at this age. See that's where your whole position fails. Your view is totally one-sided. While it may seem that mine is, its not. Its just that I would rather advise children to remain children and not try to grow up too fast. I care about the potential problems that children can encounter if they try to grow up too fast. You don't seem to care about either.

And nowhere did I say you were immature or not intelligent. But that fact that you think so, helps illustrate that you are reading into this what you want to, not what I've actually said. You come across as pretty intelligent and mature for your age (Though the fact that you think you are just as mature and intelligent as an adult is telling) . But you have a blind spot here. You think its OK for children to play at more adult behaviors. Probably because you don't have the experience to see all the consequences of doing so.

By the way I asked her out in text and she said yes and we are just going to be hanging out at school

By the way I asked her out in text and she said yes and we are just going to be hanging out at school

Did you both get parental permission?

Did you both get parental permission?
No we are just hanging out at school and school functions

No we are just hanging out at school and school functions

Doesn't matter. You need to get permission from your parents, even for that. If you are nothing more than friends, that's one thing. But both your parents should know what you are doing.

Now that I have my girlfriend what should I talk to her about. By the way I'm 11 years old

Ask her what type of barbie dolls she likes, what cartoons she watches, how she's doing in math class and English class.

You're both 11, you're not really boyfriend and girlfriend, you're just friends pretending to be grow up enough to date. So nothing really changes. Just talk about the stuff you talked about before. It's not like the two of you can actually go on a real date or anything.

How do you have a girlfriend if you don't know what to talk to her about yet?

That's not how it works... a girlfriend is like a regular friend that's an extra special friend. You get there by being really good friends first... meaning you will have already known what to say. And find out you have many interests in common.

As Alty said very well....at your age you will just be friends....as you get older you will understand better what we have told you. It might not make sense yet.....but it will in a few more years.

How do you have a girlfriend if you don't know what to talk to her about yet?

That's not how it works... a girlfriend lis like a regular friend that's an extra special friend. You get there by being really good friends first... meaning you will have already known what to say. And find out you have many interests in common.

As Alty said very well....at your age you will just be friends....as you get older you will understand better what we have told you. It might not make sense yet.....but it will in a few more years.
We'll we have been talking a lot and I have been talking to her abou her interests

At 11, you are friends, playing like girlfriend and boyfriend, sorry, I know it feels special, but at this point, it is just friends

Ask her what type of barbie dolls she likes, what cartoons she watches, how she's doing in math class and English class.

You're both 11, you're not really boyfriend and girlfriend, you're just friends pretending to be grow up enough to date. So nothing really changes. Just talk about the stuff you talked about before. It's not like the two of you can actually go on a real date or anything.

11 year olds do not have Barbie dolls

11 year olds do not have Barbie dolls

Tell that to my daughter. She's 11, and her and her 11 and 12 year old friends love playing barbies. Even some of her 13 and 14 year old friends join in. But hey, you're a boy. So what do you know?

11 year olds do not have Barbie dolls

Right! In your vast experience you can make such a statement pfah!