Hello,
I am concerned mom of a otherwise healthy 7 year old. She is generally a happy and talkative child, prone to dwelling and quite a thinker. Our problem began a few days ago when she was upset and mentioned an incident with a little boy ( 5- 6 yrs) in our neighbourhood who had come up to her in the playground and asked her if she wanted to have 'sex'. At the time she came running into the house all upset and distressed and refused to go outside and play for quite a while. Anyway about two days ago she mentioned that she had done what the little boy had said... with the pillow. She was visibly upset and found it difficult to get this out but after she did it was as if the flood gates had opened. Although I was a little shocked because she is so young, I told her it was O.K but that she should do it in private and not tell her friends about it. I told her that no one else except for her was to touch her private parts and I also asked her whether anyone had touched her in her private parts (we have spoken about this before) and she said no. She seemed to feel better and went on her merry way, until again after a few hours she came to me again "confessing" some other 'bad' things she had done (kids stuff - she had thrown away a ballon we had brought for her because she was angry, etc.). Then after we talked she felt better and off she went. Then the next day the same thing but this time she told me that when she did it with the pillow she thought of a boy in her class - this freaked me out but I told her not to be concerned that it was just a thought in her head and was not like she was doing anything - just thinking. Anyway she seemed O.K - again she went off to play as if nothing had happened. Then again today, as we were driving home from school she told me that one night when we were sleeping she woke up and watched TV and saw what must have been porn (I have scrambled the porn cable channel since) and that she saw a man and woman having sex (she didn't say sex but described it). This seemed to be upsetting for her and not knowing what to say I told her she shouldn't think about it and that what she saw was only something 'big people' do when they love each other - she didn't have any questions but said that when she sees males a picture of their penis (ey) comes into her head and this is really bothering her. Again I didn't know what to say so I said that God had given all men penises so they could go to the toilet and that they were different to girls but that it was just the way God made us. Then she said that when she sees a male its as if she is doing what she did with the pillow in her head and is really upset about it. I don't know what to do! I don't know what to say to her, I know that masturbating is common in children but she is upset about it. She seems to be anxious about these images flooding her brain - understandable - but I don't know how to help her here. She said she feels better when she talks to me about everything but I am worried that it is too much for her to handle and I feel so helpless. For now it has not affected her school life and she behaves normally around everyone else. Even after we talk, she goes off and acts like nothing has happened. Please help me help my daughter.:(

Well kids do become curious αbout sex αt thαt αge, mαybe tαking her to α child psycho. Or school councilor?. it's not so much upset though its more like confused, she's now seeing wαy different things.. don't worry mommy you'll do fine! Just keep on explαining to her like you've been doing becαuse like you sαid she αcts like nothing hαppened αnd keeps on plαying.. :-) your dαughter sounds like α heαlthy hαppy girl!

Sounds to me like you're doing exactly like what you're supposed to do. Kind of surprised at the guilt she seems to be feeling, but since she trusts you and as long as she realizes how important it is that she let you know if someone has done anything inappropriate to her, I don't think you have much to worry about... a therapist won't hurt, since she seems so full of anxiety, but I think you are doing a good job, by the sound of it.

I should have read more carefully... I missed the porn part. My friend's daughter was exposed to porn when she was about the same age by some girls who may or may not have been abused by their father. She had similar problems for a while afterwards. This is, I'm afraid, a bit out of my league. I think talking to a therapist would be a good idea, if for no other reason then to get professional advice as to how to make sure that the experience doesn't permanently scar her when she's an adult herself. But I still think you're doing an excellent job. The fact that your daughter comes to you with very personal questions that are potentially embarrassing is a big plus. Good luck!

You are handling this very well. Children are of course humans and humans are sexual beings. It is normal for children to "masturbate," of course they don't always understand what they are doing, but it feels good so they do it. Since she is having such anxiety about sex and sexual feelings, a therapist or councilor would be a good choice, like the others have said. They could also offer you pointers about talking to her about it. She seems to be very open with you about the whole situation which is great, and you should continue to keep the communication open.

Good and healthy answers all.

I hope that people answering this post now have noticed the original date of the post. Mom has probably found her answers by now.

Hi gopi

It is normal for a child to be curious and explore them self. What I think you and your daughter should do is the next time she brings it up tell her what sex is these thoughts are probably because she wants to know why a boy has a penis and she doesn't she is probably just upset because she wants to know why biys and girls have different body parts and wants to know why it feels the way it feels when she does what she does, as for the boy you should go and have a disscusion with his parents about his behavior and he is probably curious as well and they should talk with him too.

Good luck
Slikmix

I'm sorry but WHY IS PORN CHANNELS ON YOUR TV WHEN YOU HAVE CHILDREN?? And how did she get into humping pillows? She's only 7 years old!