texxxas
Mar 29, 2007, 01:22 PM
this is complicated, I'm going to simplify the situation as much as possible
about a year ago, my best friend of 11 years (I'm only 22) ran into one of her old co-workers and they started talking, he invited her out to parties and places but never really took her on a date, one day he asked her if she OR her room mate (me) wanted to meet up with him at a party, she was offended because he said "OR" so she kind of told him off, he then confessed that he wasn't looking for a relationship and he just wanted to hang out, a few months later, we find out he had a girlfriend, who he's been with for 4 years. So, of course my best friend, our girls and I trash talk him, a few months later he randomly texted me telling me he thought I was cute and that he likes me, etc. but I didn't know who the text was from so I just kept asking who is this? He wouldn't tell me because he said he was on my $hi+-list, finally he told me and I laughed about it and it was all good from there.
we started texting each other randomly, for fun, and we have the same friends, so when I went out with my friends, I, of course, would run into him, I knew he had a girlfriend, so I didn't bother trying to pursue anything with him, we remained friends, however one day his friend and one of my girlfriends invited me and him to go eat with them, so we did, he and I flirted with each other all night but I still remained kind of distant, for he had a girlfriend but he told me didn't.
on our birthday (3 days apart) we ironically chose the same spot to celebrate and I saw his girlfriend there, I was kind of mad because he led me to believe he was single so I just ignored him the rest of the night/week, he kept texting me and asking why I was being so short with him, and I told him because he had a girlfriend and I respect that.
few months past, we're still chit chatting, still friends and all and I get drunk at a club and he happens to be there so he offers to take me home and will bring me back to my car in the morning, I go to his place and puke everywhere, he takes care of me and we ended up kissing (he gave me mouthwash, lol) next morning, took me to my car and we were all good.
few weeks go by and we start liking each other more and more, his friends start knowing about us and people start asking what's up with us and I start to grow feelings for him and crashing at his place a lot and hanging out with him and talking to him allll the time. I asked him what was up with how he acted to my best friend and he ends up telling me that he was never interested in her and wanted to hang out with her because they used to work together, but that he was interested in me alll along. I heard through the grapevine of our friends that he was still with his girlfriend, so I went off on him and we didn't talk for a week, he emailed me, texted me, called me and talked to my friends, trying to tell me that it was just a rumor from his ex, who was jealous and we made up and things just got better from there.
We hung out for thanksgiving and exchanged gifts on christmas, all the while, my best friend has NOOO CLUE, this is going on, I felt really crappy but didn't want to tell her because I know she wouldn't be okay with it because in her mind, she thinks they dated. (no kissing, no hand holding, not even a one on one, NOTHING)
one day, she goes out on a date with HIS room mate and his room mate busts on us and tells her how cute we are and she freaks out, she texted me and was sooo upset, she said she felt like I betrayed her and asked why I wasn't upfront with her, I apologized and we remain friends, problem is, she said if I would've told her from the beginning about liking him she would've not liked it but would've accepted it, but since I hid it, she doesn't want me dating him because she says it's inappropriate for me to date him, (which is kind of wrong of her to ask of me because she's seeing his room mate now, so she's really no better) but it sucks because he and I have grown feelings for each other and have slept together and do all the things couples do...
I told her I would stop hanging out with him but I'm stillllll seeeing him and we're getting really serious, I don't want to hurt my best friend, I love her to death, but at the same time, I care about this guy so much, I don't want to stop seeing him.
what should I do? I know I should tell her, but at the same time I told her I wouldn't see him anymore so I'm thinking maybe I should just stop seeing him, any idea on how to break it to her or what I should do?
about a year ago, my best friend of 11 years (I'm only 22) ran into one of her old co-workers and they started talking, he invited her out to parties and places but never really took her on a date, one day he asked her if she OR her room mate (me) wanted to meet up with him at a party, she was offended because he said "OR" so she kind of told him off, he then confessed that he wasn't looking for a relationship and he just wanted to hang out, a few months later, we find out he had a girlfriend, who he's been with for 4 years. So, of course my best friend, our girls and I trash talk him, a few months later he randomly texted me telling me he thought I was cute and that he likes me, etc. but I didn't know who the text was from so I just kept asking who is this? He wouldn't tell me because he said he was on my $hi+-list, finally he told me and I laughed about it and it was all good from there.
we started texting each other randomly, for fun, and we have the same friends, so when I went out with my friends, I, of course, would run into him, I knew he had a girlfriend, so I didn't bother trying to pursue anything with him, we remained friends, however one day his friend and one of my girlfriends invited me and him to go eat with them, so we did, he and I flirted with each other all night but I still remained kind of distant, for he had a girlfriend but he told me didn't.
on our birthday (3 days apart) we ironically chose the same spot to celebrate and I saw his girlfriend there, I was kind of mad because he led me to believe he was single so I just ignored him the rest of the night/week, he kept texting me and asking why I was being so short with him, and I told him because he had a girlfriend and I respect that.
few months past, we're still chit chatting, still friends and all and I get drunk at a club and he happens to be there so he offers to take me home and will bring me back to my car in the morning, I go to his place and puke everywhere, he takes care of me and we ended up kissing (he gave me mouthwash, lol) next morning, took me to my car and we were all good.
few weeks go by and we start liking each other more and more, his friends start knowing about us and people start asking what's up with us and I start to grow feelings for him and crashing at his place a lot and hanging out with him and talking to him allll the time. I asked him what was up with how he acted to my best friend and he ends up telling me that he was never interested in her and wanted to hang out with her because they used to work together, but that he was interested in me alll along. I heard through the grapevine of our friends that he was still with his girlfriend, so I went off on him and we didn't talk for a week, he emailed me, texted me, called me and talked to my friends, trying to tell me that it was just a rumor from his ex, who was jealous and we made up and things just got better from there.
We hung out for thanksgiving and exchanged gifts on christmas, all the while, my best friend has NOOO CLUE, this is going on, I felt really crappy but didn't want to tell her because I know she wouldn't be okay with it because in her mind, she thinks they dated. (no kissing, no hand holding, not even a one on one, NOTHING)
one day, she goes out on a date with HIS room mate and his room mate busts on us and tells her how cute we are and she freaks out, she texted me and was sooo upset, she said she felt like I betrayed her and asked why I wasn't upfront with her, I apologized and we remain friends, problem is, she said if I would've told her from the beginning about liking him she would've not liked it but would've accepted it, but since I hid it, she doesn't want me dating him because she says it's inappropriate for me to date him, (which is kind of wrong of her to ask of me because she's seeing his room mate now, so she's really no better) but it sucks because he and I have grown feelings for each other and have slept together and do all the things couples do...
I told her I would stop hanging out with him but I'm stillllll seeeing him and we're getting really serious, I don't want to hurt my best friend, I love her to death, but at the same time, I care about this guy so much, I don't want to stop seeing him.
what should I do? I know I should tell her, but at the same time I told her I wouldn't see him anymore so I'm thinking maybe I should just stop seeing him, any idea on how to break it to her or what I should do?