I've been dating my current boyfriend for about 8 months now. We met at work and continued working together up until 3 months ago when he decided to go work with his father and his uncle and a factory overnight. Now that my boyfriend works night shift 4 days a week( and I am a full-time student during the weekday and a waitress on the weekends) we have almost no real time to spend together except for Fridays. Most fridays we have too many errands or other business to attend to together instead of spending quality time together. I am also worried that he may be uninterested in me anymore altogether because he never wants to have sex with me. At first I thought it was only because he was tired, but even when he gets a full days/nights rest he never touches me. All of this has left me extremely lonely and depressed, and I have no friends to go to or talk to about it. I have tried talking to him about it already and he asked his boss if he could switch to day shift, but they don't have any positions available. Would it be too much to ask him to look for another job? I don't know what else to do at this point and I feel like I'm being very selfish but at the same time this is significantly affecting our relationship.


-Hopeless Romantic

Yes, you are being selfish. What you are experiencing is adult life with adult problems.

Before you get upset with me, I can relate. I work night shift. 7pm to 7am 4 days a week. My husband is a stay-at-home father and we have 2 children at home. I think the last time he touched me he was holding my hand as I was falling asleep at 9am.

I would never EVER switch to day shift. I hate it. Too many bosses around and not enough autonomy. Not everyone is cut out to work day shift.

As far as the sex, you need to talk to him. Have an open line of communication. Working nights is stressful in and of itself as it is hard to go to sleep during the day, and stay asleep with no phones ringing etc.