PDA

View Full Version : How do I stop being needy in a relationship?


INeedAdvice1010
Oct 16, 2013, 05:19 AM
Hi, could someone please give me an advice. Im in a 2 yrs relationship and I've realised that me being needy affects my relationship with my girlfriend. Im a needy person and emotional but I want to get rid out of it but the feeling won't go.

I read self help books and blogs regarding about being needy and it helps me to overcome it. Past few months I've noticed that I stopped being needy and our relationship went well. But now its getting into my life again, being needy and lost all my control.
is there someone here experiencing this kind of situation like your needy feeling is on and off? I would like to turn mine off totally so I can have a great balance life without asking too much frm my girlfriend that makes her want to distant from me. I also decided to go to physchology regarding to my very emotional attitude but atm I have no income for it as I pay lots of bills.
Please give me advices. Thanks so much.I'm only 20.

joypulv
Oct 16, 2013, 05:52 AM
Yes, I have been needy at times in my 67 years, mainly when dumped. I didn't want it either.
What to do?
Either get therapy or do it for free, by rigorous self-training and work. It's a matter of identifying it when it happens, and forcing yourself to stop. A therapist would have you practice too, so why pay for something that isn't based on serious trauma or something you can't recognize? Talk to yourself out loud when you are putting yourself through training.
'OK, I just texted her 5 times in one hour, and I'm all upset that she hasn't replied.'
'She knows I got yelled at at work, and yet wants to go shopping by herself tonight.'
'She made me leave her apartment early because it's a work night, and wouldn't even snuggle or tell me she loves me.'
Say each thing out loud to yourself, and tell yourself that you are being needy and will stop NOW and do something constructive.
Every time she isn't available, go out with friends. KEEP your friends. Never ever let friends drift out of your life just because you are in love.
And if she isn't as available as you would like, make sure you aren't either.
(By 'she' I mean any future woman in your life.)
Look at your childhood for clues too, even though that is only a small part of this. Was one parent needy? Did a parent abandon the family? Anything? Having insight into what makes you tick will help you train yourself and see yourself as others see you.