So my girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 9 months now, but have been dating for a while before we made it official. We moved in together early in the relationship because she needed some place to live and we were doing really well so I figured why not.

We were great for a while at least the first 6 months but then she told me about something that happened between her and my best friend while we were still dating. I was upset that she had lied to me about it for that long but it was before we were official (even if it were only a week before we became official) so I forgave it.

I admit it was a tough thing to get over for me, and I did express that it still bothered me for a little while, but it was never a big fight or anything. Anyway, she started becoming more distant and we started fighting because of it. We almost broke up because of the fighting, which all in all only lasted a few weeks total. We were better for a while and we haven't really fought at all for the past couple months and yet she is still very distant.

She isn't excited to see me ever, and she only gets excited to see her friends which are all mutual guy friends, and it kind of bothers me. I know she's not cheating and that she'd never do that, but she's constantly fishing for compliments from other guys, at parties she flirts with other guys that she's had a thing with in the past in front of me. I think it's a little disrespectful, but she always just says "that's how my friends are" so I drop it because I don't want to fight.

She tried to tell me at one point that she just needed her space, so I gave her all the space she needed. Now I try to make plans with her and she never wants to do anything, in fact, we seldom go out. I try to be intimate and sporadic with her, but she rejects my moves. The sex is non-existent now, at first it was because of "personal reasons," but now I question if that's really the case. I'm not sure what to do, I'm lost and confused. She says she loves me and I really love her, but I have no idea what's going on.

She's not the one for you.

Sounds like she needs a place to live and has other things on her mind. It doesn't seem like it's the right relationship for you.

You probably should sit down and talk with her... a real talk... for real answers... with no accusing or crying or whining. Just talk like adults and see what's going on.

For your own good, you should prepare yourself that the relationship seems to be pretty much over and done with.

When someone you care about hurts you it's the hardest thing to deal with. If your not ready to give up then give her a taste of her own medicine. Stop being so available, clingy and make a life away from her. Once you have done this and are contacting her less frequently (i suggest you make it a quarter of what you are doing now) If she does not come to you then time to move on.

When the wife gets distant I give her the space to work things out on her own. I advise that to you two strangers and a heavy dose of patience. You don't have to fight over it.