honey565
Oct 3, 2013, 02:04 AM
I broke up with my long term boyfriend 2 years ago. We loved each other a lot, but not to go into many details, we had difficult circumstances and in the end he had decided to cut it off. It wasn't my intention at the time to end relationship, but we were passing through crisis and it ended. Pretty much sudden for me.
In the first year following break-up we keep low contact, I was very angry and he was as well. He immediately went into new relationship which hurt me even more. After some time of low contact (like a year) I have decided to cut the contact.
In that first year, there were lots of words said from him, how he is not ending because he stopped loving, but because we can't continue anymore in those circumstances and that he will always love me but it has to be this way. It's not that what he was saying is stupidity, it's just that he felt it that way in that moment as him and I don't have future anymore. I have tried to convince him that maybe we were making mistake with breaking up forever and maybe we can work things out. But he was determined. It broke my heart but I have decided to cut the contact and move on with my life as well.
We had no contact for many months, almost an year, but I was noticing that he indirectly tried to get some information about my life. It's not that he would try anything, but his friends were sending me Facebook requests, or mutual acquaintance would suddenly send me messages oh how I was. In the end, I congratulated my ex birthday, and we were text messaging for a while, talking nicely about life, works, like no bad feelings. We ended and that's it. But in one moment, he had told me that he wants to apologize for the way he broke up with me and that at this moment, he is not sure he had made right decision because sometimes he thinks it was for the best and sometimes that it was huge mistake. I didn't want to dig more deeply into what he had said in the conversation because I didn't want to sound desperate after so much time and I played it cool. But he didn't ask me if I was in some relationship or anything like that. Which was strange, wasn't it normal thing for a "friendly chat".. "hey, how are you, did you get married, are you with someone, blah blah...". I have just responded that after so many time, one can be pretty sure if he made right decision. I understand that in the beginning you can have mixed feelings, you can love somebody but also to feel that you must end that relationship for rational reason, but with time that initial confusion would clear. To, yes it was good, I am much more happy now, or no.. I made mistake.
I don't want people now to respond in a manner "forget about him, think about yourself"... because that is not my question. My question is what do you think about this situation. Some can say it's pure curiosity, but if it would be curiosity why would you indirectly give signs that you are watching Facebook profile. Or, if we take as presumption that some doubt about your own decisions would always be present, would you share it with your ex partner so openly? Do you think all those signs are to provoke my reaction, or pure curiosity?
In the first year following break-up we keep low contact, I was very angry and he was as well. He immediately went into new relationship which hurt me even more. After some time of low contact (like a year) I have decided to cut the contact.
In that first year, there were lots of words said from him, how he is not ending because he stopped loving, but because we can't continue anymore in those circumstances and that he will always love me but it has to be this way. It's not that what he was saying is stupidity, it's just that he felt it that way in that moment as him and I don't have future anymore. I have tried to convince him that maybe we were making mistake with breaking up forever and maybe we can work things out. But he was determined. It broke my heart but I have decided to cut the contact and move on with my life as well.
We had no contact for many months, almost an year, but I was noticing that he indirectly tried to get some information about my life. It's not that he would try anything, but his friends were sending me Facebook requests, or mutual acquaintance would suddenly send me messages oh how I was. In the end, I congratulated my ex birthday, and we were text messaging for a while, talking nicely about life, works, like no bad feelings. We ended and that's it. But in one moment, he had told me that he wants to apologize for the way he broke up with me and that at this moment, he is not sure he had made right decision because sometimes he thinks it was for the best and sometimes that it was huge mistake. I didn't want to dig more deeply into what he had said in the conversation because I didn't want to sound desperate after so much time and I played it cool. But he didn't ask me if I was in some relationship or anything like that. Which was strange, wasn't it normal thing for a "friendly chat".. "hey, how are you, did you get married, are you with someone, blah blah...". I have just responded that after so many time, one can be pretty sure if he made right decision. I understand that in the beginning you can have mixed feelings, you can love somebody but also to feel that you must end that relationship for rational reason, but with time that initial confusion would clear. To, yes it was good, I am much more happy now, or no.. I made mistake.
I don't want people now to respond in a manner "forget about him, think about yourself"... because that is not my question. My question is what do you think about this situation. Some can say it's pure curiosity, but if it would be curiosity why would you indirectly give signs that you are watching Facebook profile. Or, if we take as presumption that some doubt about your own decisions would always be present, would you share it with your ex partner so openly? Do you think all those signs are to provoke my reaction, or pure curiosity?