I feel silly for having to post about this online, but I really want opinions from people who don't know me. I am really embarrassed about this and don't know if I necessarily want to expose this part of my relationship to my friends.

My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half now. Before hand we were best friends, with casual hooking up but I didn't want to make the commitment in fear of losing my friendship. Anyway, for the first portion of our relationship I was living a state away, so we really only got to see each other about 8 days out of the month. We eventually made plans to move in together once I returned. A few months prior to us moving in together I did a naughty thing and looked through his Facebook and read messages to other girls, sending them naked pictures of himself and getting some in return.. I was livid. He talked about me with them, and they all knew about me.. in some of the messages he would say how bad he felt for sexting them, he was just really horny.. I was crushed.. Of course, I investigated even further into his email and found out he had been emailing hookers.

I confronted him about the situation and he broke down to me about how sorry he was. That he would never cheat on me, that it is just a fantasy. That it makes him feel more validated and he gets off to knowing he could **** one of these girls if he wanted to. He promised me it wouldn't happen again. So,I forgave him.

We moved in together. We have talked about marriage. We have talked about kids. We are planning to spend our lives together. I stopped the snooping and trusted him. Until one day I woke up and he was still asleep. I honestly don't even know what it was, but something inside me said look at his phone. So I did. From the night before was a text message with a hooker. Her letting him know what services she provided (obviously he emailed her and gave her his number). He asked where she was located and all that.. later he emailed her back saying he got out of work late and couldn't meet up with her. I confronted him about it again. He swore to me he would never actually meet up with this women. That he just fantasizes about knowing he could them. That they wanted him. He cried and told me he was dirty and disgusting and hated himself for it and that it makes him feel more validated.

I Don't KNOW WHAT TO DO. How to feel. How to trust him. This makes me feel like I am not satisfying him, that he needs more than me. Granted I work 50 hours a week, and he works late on the weekends when I am off. We pretty much have to make time for sex, sometimes we will go a week without having it, but when we do it is always really good...

Be honest, what would you do in my situation. Is this something that can be mended? Do you have any personal experiences with something like this?

The thing is is that this is the second time, and both times he cried and apologizes and tells you it will never happen again. Sounds like a pattern right? Well it is, and it sounds like he has confidence issues if he has to resort to basically cheating on you just to make himself feel better about himself. I say if it happens a third time then it WILL NOT EVER STOP! 3 strikes and he is out remember that. Also since you have caught him again he is going to be more sneaky about t and careful. Keep a sharp eye out. Cheating emotionally is way worse then cheating physically. He needs to grow up and commit.

Every time he's caught he says he'll never do it again. The second time you caught him it really sounded like he had planned to meet up with her, but you found out before he could.

Bottom line, you've talked to him about this, about how it makes you feel, and he hasn't stopped. If he can't stop doing this, how far will he go? Can you be sure that only texting these women is enough, because I don't really see what he gets by just texting and pretending that he's going to hire them.

He's obviously been doing this all along, it's just that he only got caught twice. He won't stop, he'll just get better at hiding it. So the question is, can you live with it? If you can't, then you should leave. He won't ever change until he wants to, and it doesn't sound like he wants to.

What would have happened if you had not found out this other life he has on the go. Or what would have happened, or how would you have felt, after marrying him and having a child.

I think that this could be going beyond just curiosity, or a boost to his ego, that he can 'have these women if he wants to' as he said. He explains that it is the chase, not the actual catch that turns him on, right?

Why does he need confirmation that he can get a woman is what I'm thinking. Not so much that it's a woman he would ultimately have to pay for, but just that it's a woman.

He has initiated contact, exchanged information, posted nude pictures online with women he does now know, in order to get turned on, and all of it has been, so far, just shy of actually meeting up with, and having sex with any of them. As far as you know.

I am inclined to think that when he is remorseful, he means it. Maybe it is a situation where he needed (in his own mind) to be caught, in order to be stopped.

I would also think that this is a situation that existed before you were in his life. Well hidden, protected, nurtured, and a needed part in his life.

I would not invest a future in this man until he has undergone some therapy with a qualified therapist in the area of sexual addictions. When he has uncovered and explored his behavior, and begins to realize that it is a problem that will continue to exist without some changes in his life, then I would support him all you can.

People have problems, and until you've done everything you can, to get him to seek help, there is nothing you can do, including blaming yourself.

He is sorry when he gets caught, most men are, does not sound like he changes what he does.