I have been dating a lovely man for the last two years. He openly admitted to suffering from Depression early on in our relationship. We have taken it a day at a time but for the last 5 weeks it has steadily got worse. He is going through a difficult divorce currently. We fell out last week and he has been distant with me and for the first time ever he told me he didn't love anyone right now. I have just found out that after our fallout, he went into town and got chatting to another woman exchanged numbers and they have been texting and chatting to each other. He tells me that it hasn't gone any further than chatting on the phone - not sure if they'd met again, though they have/ had arranged to meet up for lunch. This lady didn't know about me - but does now.

I love this man and have trying to support him, but surely seeking solace in another woman isn't the answer. I realise he is struggling emotionally with a lot in his life but to start a new relationship? I just don't get it? Incidentally my ex husband suffered from depression due to some terrible things he saw whilst in the Army. And did the same thing... started an affair with a woman. He later told me that having the affair took his mind off the crap he was going through. The affair ended, he sought help via the Army and we got our marriage back on track. ( our marriage ended many years later due to other reasons) I can't believe this is happening again but I know my partner really isn't thinking straight. It does feel like Ive been kicked in the stomach to be honest, but I can't just sit back and watch him destroy himself.

Oh forgot to mention that during our fallout last week, he said our relationship was boring and ended it. Yesterday, I went to see him, he was low but managed to get him to smile, and had sex twice. Now, what on earth am I supposed to think now? (I only found out about this other woman last night).

Please help me :(

Lovely men don't cheat on their wives.

He is going through a divorce right now, he needs to recover from that before getting into a relationship.

Right now you are rebound.

We've been together for two years... Id hardly call it a rebound. Separated from his wife for 6 years. Your answer doesn't really help me sadly. Id say the 'new' friendship he has is a rebound!

It would have been nice if you put ALL of the information in your original post. My advice was appropriate with the info you gave originally.

Yes, with the new info, the friendship he has now is rebound. Apparently he doesn't respect you enough to be monogamous. If he is on any antidepressants for his depression, it's possible he is not taking them as prescribed at this time.

He is not legally tied to you, so he is going out and sowing his wild oats. You can accept that for what it is, or you can move on to a healthy relationship. One that does not include depression.

Apologies, guess my original post wasn't clear enough. Yes, he is on anti depressants but drinking quite heavily currently. He knows its screwing up his meds. Sadly his ex wife knows which buttons to press to wind him up and this is to the detriment of our relationship - which she has tried to end many a time... looks like she has finally succeeded!

Ohhh, meds and alcohol are a BAD combination! Alcohol with antidepressants should be avoided at all costs.

It appears that this man has more baggage than you need in your life. Why not find someone who is healthy in mind, body, and relationships?

He is sabotaging himself. Trying to 'fix' his depression by bandaging it with another women, that falls apart, so on to the next, all along drinking and taking meds (bad combination for anyone with depression).
It is one thing trying to help fix a person, but they have to want to help themselves. Jumping woman to woman shows he is too unstable to want to fix himself. You can't fix him and you really don't need getting involved to where he drags your life down.

Two years is about right. Just about the time you start discovering the real person you're dealing with. The new girl is no rebound, but the next victim of a liar and cheater.

Not to be harsh but you have known a long time he had issues that made him a high risk for a healthy relationship.

Thank you everyone. I appreciate all that you've said. Weird thing is, that up until 5 weeks ago we were tinkering along quite nicely, and as his divorce is near to the final stages bar the financial stages - to which the ex wife is trying to take everything - the marital home ( which is owned outright) plus most of his savings and his seemingly wimp of a solicitor, the alcohol has become a major problem. I hope for his sake, he seeks the help he needs. I feel completely helpless in order to help a man that has become almost like a shell.