Flyfreely
Sep 15, 2013, 09:05 AM
Hello everyone, I need help with a girl I’ve been having trouble with for over a year now.
I met this girl back in February 2012. We had chemistry the moment I laid eyes on her, and from then ever since, her best friend would always tease her whenever I was around. I ended up asking her for her number and she gladly gave it to me. We spent nights talking to each other and meeting each other in the afternoon. They were good times.
But I was stupid, really stupid. Whenever we talked about our feelings, I would stop talking to her. For 1-2 weeks, and she would always come back saying she missed me, etc. etc. She told me she loved me, sometimes she told me she didn’t. I was the same. I once told the truth but kept lying ever since because I don't know, I guess I was really scared of losing her. Perhaps that's what I did. She's really complicated.
So, I never really knew if she felt anything for me. But, the nights talking to me, wanting to be with me, lying for her feelings with only being truthful once showed me she did. One night however, a friend of mine whose cousins with her best friend logged on this girl's best friend's Facebook. She was going to do something she asked my friend to do, but my curiosity had the most of me so I had to check the conversation/messages she had with her best friend, the girl I love. It was there, she loved me. She would open up to her, saying she didn't understand my statuses, she didn't know what to do etc. etc. Kind of similar to me now. This was back in May-June 2012. We stopped talking ever since.
We had a few arguments in October but that wasn't really it. Skip to July 2013.
She sends me a hi on Facebook. Now, I had been posting statuses kind of towards her, and she did the same. I guess in a way it worked since she talked to me. I felt great. We talked about how she didn't know why we stopped seeing each other. It wasn't that long of a conversation, but I felt how she missed me. I guess we were friends again, and she took the first step, and I respect that. She kept talking to me sometimes from then on until I asked her for her number again (I had it... I just wanted her to not think she was that important to me. She still had mine.)
And we were back, to spending nights talking to each other. First real topic we discussed was what did I feel for her. She said she couldn't live without knowing it, and I said I never felt anything for her. That she always was a friend and she always will be. She didn't believe me much, because back when I met her a girl she knew was interested in me and I rejected her. Anyway, I asked her, she said she didn't and does not feel anything for me. After a while I asked her, in a more serious and sincere discussion. She said she did. She loved me and she went to very tough times, because she missed me but was afraid that I would stop talking to her again for about 1-2 weeks. (I did this 3 times, she always came back. It was in a way, a test to see if she did love me.)
Anyway, we talked and talked and she said she had someone back in November, but that she does not like him anymore. She stated this multiple times. I too revealed my feelings I had for her once as well. She was sort of happy and relieved. She said she missed and wanted to be with me, so after spending nights with her I decided to meet her. I went to Sesimbra, a place here in Portugal where she was camping on a Saturday Night, About July 27th. We were together and she hugged me hard. She said she would only be with me if we were alone. I complied. I took her to my car and we were together and we talked about lots of things. She was kind of nervous, and whenever we touched it was... great. So she decides to leave, saying her friends are waiting for her and might worry, but I was able to keep her for about 30 minutes. Just by saying wait, she would stay.
After she left I felt great. I didn't want to kiss her because I wanted a better moment and place to do so. We didn't talk for 3 days. When I talked to her again, she said she just didn't feel like texting me. I was baffled, and worried. She said when she met me, she didn't miss me, she didn't feel anything for me and I didn't know how to reply. This kept going, uninterested conversations for about 1 month. Then whenever I texted her she would always sort of not want to show weakness, I don't know how to explain it. I asked her once if I was nothing to her, if I was not important to her. She replied saying ''Do you like me that much that what you are to me, important or not, is that important to you? Haha'' I was devastated. It was if she was mocking me. I didn't reply. 10 minutes later she sends another text saying she was sorry and was messing around with me. I didn't reply and 10 more minutes later she sends another text saying she was sorry, she didn't want me to be mad at her.
Now, skip to yesterday, September 14th, Saturday Night. I had arranged to give her a ''hi'' at a party that was having in the area. I was almost next to her, and she and her friends would sometimes look at me and what it would like to be mentions of me towards each other. My friends as well, of course. As she was about to leave I followed her and told her I needed to talk to her. She complied. As we go to a more silent place, I hug her so hard. She says nothing, and hugs me as well. I talk about if she feels anything for me. She says she doesn't, that she was honest. She thought she felt something but when I met her, it's as if it all went away, and that she was finally with me. I couldn't stand it anymore. I hugged her again and... I told her how I felt about her. I never forgot her, that she was always the one. She said she knew, but she said they didn't want to hurt me. We held hands, we hugged, we looked deep in the eyes of each other and I asked her the question. If she does like the guy she had. She said she didn't want to talk about it. (Remember, she stated to me multiple times she didn't feel anything for him anymore.) I said that the girls I had from May 2012 to now weren't nothing but hook ups. She hugged me and I hugged her back. Whenever I hugged her I felt so good. We just kept hugging each other. I don't remember much to be honest... But I asked her why, why after a year and 2 months. She didn't know what to say, that she didn't want to hurt me. I asked her if we were over, she shook her head. I grabbed her hand and she tightened it and so I gave her one last hug. As she was about to leave, the way we looked at each other’s eyes, she sort of wanted to cry now that I remember. Her eyes and eyelids were red. I don't want to think too much about it.
So... resuming all this, she was with a guy. I was with some girls but nothing too special. What does this all mean? She has lied to me so many times? What does she feel?
Sorry for the long post but I just had to throw it out there... sorry, I hope you understand. I've bugged my friends about this too many times. I sort of need a stranger's take on it. Thank you very much.
I met this girl back in February 2012. We had chemistry the moment I laid eyes on her, and from then ever since, her best friend would always tease her whenever I was around. I ended up asking her for her number and she gladly gave it to me. We spent nights talking to each other and meeting each other in the afternoon. They were good times.
But I was stupid, really stupid. Whenever we talked about our feelings, I would stop talking to her. For 1-2 weeks, and she would always come back saying she missed me, etc. etc. She told me she loved me, sometimes she told me she didn’t. I was the same. I once told the truth but kept lying ever since because I don't know, I guess I was really scared of losing her. Perhaps that's what I did. She's really complicated.
So, I never really knew if she felt anything for me. But, the nights talking to me, wanting to be with me, lying for her feelings with only being truthful once showed me she did. One night however, a friend of mine whose cousins with her best friend logged on this girl's best friend's Facebook. She was going to do something she asked my friend to do, but my curiosity had the most of me so I had to check the conversation/messages she had with her best friend, the girl I love. It was there, she loved me. She would open up to her, saying she didn't understand my statuses, she didn't know what to do etc. etc. Kind of similar to me now. This was back in May-June 2012. We stopped talking ever since.
We had a few arguments in October but that wasn't really it. Skip to July 2013.
She sends me a hi on Facebook. Now, I had been posting statuses kind of towards her, and she did the same. I guess in a way it worked since she talked to me. I felt great. We talked about how she didn't know why we stopped seeing each other. It wasn't that long of a conversation, but I felt how she missed me. I guess we were friends again, and she took the first step, and I respect that. She kept talking to me sometimes from then on until I asked her for her number again (I had it... I just wanted her to not think she was that important to me. She still had mine.)
And we were back, to spending nights talking to each other. First real topic we discussed was what did I feel for her. She said she couldn't live without knowing it, and I said I never felt anything for her. That she always was a friend and she always will be. She didn't believe me much, because back when I met her a girl she knew was interested in me and I rejected her. Anyway, I asked her, she said she didn't and does not feel anything for me. After a while I asked her, in a more serious and sincere discussion. She said she did. She loved me and she went to very tough times, because she missed me but was afraid that I would stop talking to her again for about 1-2 weeks. (I did this 3 times, she always came back. It was in a way, a test to see if she did love me.)
Anyway, we talked and talked and she said she had someone back in November, but that she does not like him anymore. She stated this multiple times. I too revealed my feelings I had for her once as well. She was sort of happy and relieved. She said she missed and wanted to be with me, so after spending nights with her I decided to meet her. I went to Sesimbra, a place here in Portugal where she was camping on a Saturday Night, About July 27th. We were together and she hugged me hard. She said she would only be with me if we were alone. I complied. I took her to my car and we were together and we talked about lots of things. She was kind of nervous, and whenever we touched it was... great. So she decides to leave, saying her friends are waiting for her and might worry, but I was able to keep her for about 30 minutes. Just by saying wait, she would stay.
After she left I felt great. I didn't want to kiss her because I wanted a better moment and place to do so. We didn't talk for 3 days. When I talked to her again, she said she just didn't feel like texting me. I was baffled, and worried. She said when she met me, she didn't miss me, she didn't feel anything for me and I didn't know how to reply. This kept going, uninterested conversations for about 1 month. Then whenever I texted her she would always sort of not want to show weakness, I don't know how to explain it. I asked her once if I was nothing to her, if I was not important to her. She replied saying ''Do you like me that much that what you are to me, important or not, is that important to you? Haha'' I was devastated. It was if she was mocking me. I didn't reply. 10 minutes later she sends another text saying she was sorry and was messing around with me. I didn't reply and 10 more minutes later she sends another text saying she was sorry, she didn't want me to be mad at her.
Now, skip to yesterday, September 14th, Saturday Night. I had arranged to give her a ''hi'' at a party that was having in the area. I was almost next to her, and she and her friends would sometimes look at me and what it would like to be mentions of me towards each other. My friends as well, of course. As she was about to leave I followed her and told her I needed to talk to her. She complied. As we go to a more silent place, I hug her so hard. She says nothing, and hugs me as well. I talk about if she feels anything for me. She says she doesn't, that she was honest. She thought she felt something but when I met her, it's as if it all went away, and that she was finally with me. I couldn't stand it anymore. I hugged her again and... I told her how I felt about her. I never forgot her, that she was always the one. She said she knew, but she said they didn't want to hurt me. We held hands, we hugged, we looked deep in the eyes of each other and I asked her the question. If she does like the guy she had. She said she didn't want to talk about it. (Remember, she stated to me multiple times she didn't feel anything for him anymore.) I said that the girls I had from May 2012 to now weren't nothing but hook ups. She hugged me and I hugged her back. Whenever I hugged her I felt so good. We just kept hugging each other. I don't remember much to be honest... But I asked her why, why after a year and 2 months. She didn't know what to say, that she didn't want to hurt me. I asked her if we were over, she shook her head. I grabbed her hand and she tightened it and so I gave her one last hug. As she was about to leave, the way we looked at each other’s eyes, she sort of wanted to cry now that I remember. Her eyes and eyelids were red. I don't want to think too much about it.
So... resuming all this, she was with a guy. I was with some girls but nothing too special. What does this all mean? She has lied to me so many times? What does she feel?
Sorry for the long post but I just had to throw it out there... sorry, I hope you understand. I've bugged my friends about this too many times. I sort of need a stranger's take on it. Thank you very much.