I am very shy and am going into sixth grade in three days I hope I meet a girl I like if so how do I ask her out?

Oh and do not say I am too young to date because I have permission to date from my parents

What does "date" mean?

OK I should have said go out instead of date

Walking her to her next class, inviting her over for your moms home cooked meal and playing video games, hanging out with friends, being driven to a matinée?

That might help

Of course, SHE has to have permission from HER parents too.

Yes I know that and if she does not there are plenty of fish in the sea

What does "go out" mean? And yes you are too young. Your parents are being very foolish in giving you permission. And you attitude (plenty of fish in the sea) shows that you are too immature for romantic relationships.

First of all I am not too immature and second I only said plenty of fish in the sea because if her parents say no she cannot date what am I supposed to say. Oh well she is going to date me anyway??

No, if she means enough to you you wait until she is old enough

Well true but generally even if someone dates when they are young (as in 12 - 15) they do not end up marrying the person they go out with

Could someone please give me an answer?

But it could be a bonus if she knows you waited for her.

So you are what, 11, 12? Sure YOU think you are mature. But you aren't. Clearly from your responses here.

And you didn't answer what "ask out" means.

The media has glorified romantic relationships and made puppy love seem cute. But its not in reality. You need to stop trying to grow up too fast.

When you get to school, join clubs, meet people get to know them as friends. The rest will come as you get older.

Both questions have been merged together.

I like a girl in my school but am to shy to even talk to her how do I do it?


Oh and do not say I am not old enough to go out with her because I am and my parents do not mind if hers do I will wait till she is old enough then ask her out

You know what I probably should have just asked some friends in school I would not have gotten all this oh your too young b******t

I am not going to read any more of that so if you have an answer please post it but if you have an opinion do not but I cannot stop you but I will not read anymore opinions I just want an actual answer to my question

Oh and I am 13 almost 14 by the way

You will never get a date, go out, or have a girlfriend unless you overcome your shyness and learn to talk to her. About ANYTHING! Practice makes perfect.

Did you ever answer the questions they asked? I think at your age its Okay to have a friend that is a girl. Play video games with and things like that. Like the movie My Girl her best friend was a Boy. But getting into the huggy kissy stuff no, let it grow into that when you get older.

Yeah I agree but a lot of people online are saying basically the same thing as you except they are also saying only hang out in school as friends

I have permission from my parents and anyone who thinks I am too immature should look at my classmates in school I am more mature than ninety percent of them

Ok so you are more mature than your classmates. Why do you think that makes you mature enough to date? That just shows more of your immaturity that you think being more mature than others in your age bracket makes you mature enough to do adult things.


yeah I agree but alot of people online are saying basically the same thing as you except they are also saying only hang out in school as friends

Ever wonder WHY most of the people are saying the same thing? Could it be because we have gone through what you are going through now and we know what it really involves?

Did you come here to get some experienced opinions instead of just asking "some friends in school". No you probably wouldn't get the too young responses, but then you wouldn't get good advice, it would just be the blind leading the blind.

When I was your age, I was "madly in love" with a girl in school... and I wished so much that I could "date" her... I look back at that now and I wonder what would I really have done if I did "date" her? Was I going to take her to the movies? Out to dinner? On vacation?

I look back and still think of her fondly but I also realize that dating her would have been stupid and worthless. I had no source of income. I had no car or way to get anywhere... so dating would have been what? Nothing. I would have talked to her in school... which, guess what? I was already doing.

We called it going together back in my day, and it made you feel special and grown up when you had an official girlfriend. Not so unusual that kids imitate older people, as hormones start kicking in, and it's not so unusual when they can't articulate what they mean.

But we get what they mean because we have been through it.

We called it going together back in my day, and it made you feel special and grown up when you had an official girlfriend. Not so unusual that kids imitate older people, as hormones start kicking in, and it's not so unusual when they can't articulate what they mean.

But we get what they mean because we have been thru it.

Nice answer.

yeah I agree but alot of people online are saying basically the same thing as you except they are also saying only hang out in school as friends
Well there you go! At your age and her's this is about all you should be doing. But if you are too shy you won't do any of it, and if her parents think their 11-12 year old daughter is too young, you won't be doing it with her either.

The whole point is sometimes your hormones lead to wacky uncomfortable and bad situations and you really have to control yourself and go slow with them. Its hard enough learning new things about your world and yourself as you change and grow during this time, without intense feelings getting in the way. Hormone driven intense new feelings take time to adjust too, and that's not easy without being cool, calm, collected, and ALWAYS in control of yourself.

Its so easy to be led astray by some know it all friend who doesn't know as much as you do most times, and find yourself in a big mess. Its called peer pressure, and it's a easy trap to fall into, listening to the crowd, but the good news is if you can think for yourself, and be careful who you listening to you can avoid that trap.

Think for yourself and do what you know is the right thing, the right way, and listen to the right people if you don't now.

And PUH-Leeeeze! Stop making new threads about the same questions. That's not the right thing to do for sure. Enjoy learning how to talk to girls ALL of them. Take it slow and do this the right way.

talaniman you are right I will do this the way I think is right even if it is not the right way to do it that way when the time comes that I am old enough in other peoples minds besides my own and my parents I can ask again (so basically in four or five years) hopefully by that length of time people won't say I'm too young. Thank you everyone even if I did get a little annoyed with some of you I know how to and what I'm going to do.

And if she does say she is not allowed to have a boyfriend until she is older I will wait until she is.

You know, something that you should also keep in mind... and I know you probably won't believe me and don't want to hear this but...

You're only a kid once. Right now you don't want to be a kid and you want to be grown up. When you're grown up, you'll wish you had been allowed to be a kid longer. Trust me. Only a kid once... enjoy it while you can and don't rush it.

Also, when it is time for you to have a girlfriend... it will happen. You don't need to rush that either. When you're ready, you'll know it. Don't spend time now searching and hoping... be a kid, enjoy yourself, and when things are supposed to happen, they will happen.

This maybe irrelevant now but I will tell you a true story that happened last year. I had a crush on a girl okay so eventually I told my friend who then proceeded to walk up to her and tell her I liked her which at the time was kind of true but I only thought she was pretty. I wanted to get to know her but after that it was just too awkward to even talk to her so later in the school year my teacher found out that I liked said girl so I asked her her opinion these are her exact words listen you are very mature and if you think your old enough get to know her then go for it. I learned two things from that

One:never tell my friends before the girl I like

Two:I am not too young to have a girlfriend

So if you still want to argue that I am well go right ahead but I believe what I believe.

Oh and start grade six tomorrow eventually going to ask my new teachers opinion (unless he/she is mean)

OH wow, so one teacher told you are mature enough. I suspect that teacher was just trying to be nice. Frankly, I think it was irresponsible of that teacher to tell you that, even if it was true. And if you found it awkward to talk to her after this happened, then no you weren't mature enough.

But also that teacher didn't take into account the girl. Maybe you are mature enough but what about the girl? And you still haven't explained what you mean by asking out.

No one is arguing here except you. We are simply giving you the facts along with the benefits of our experience. We are trying to help you understand that there is a time to be a child and a time to start moving toward adulthood. You haven't reached that latter time yet. Enjoy your childhood.

Almost all my teachers over the years have told me I am mature and more than half of them were not nice at all either way it doesn't even matter because if I didn't think a girl was mature enough I wouldn't ask her out and I have a question for you scottgem why if its okay with both of our parents can't our parents take us to see a movie together? Please give me an answer to that and. Yes I may have to wait for some things but why must I wait for everything I am not two years old I'm thirteen that technically isn't a child anymore anyway so I already enjoyed my childhood and how exactly can you mysteriously know how mature someone is through the internet if you ever meet me then you can judge how mature I am but until then stop judging how mature I am through the internet oh and its not immature to be nervous around someone you have a crush on and you said if it was awkward then I'm not mature enough no it was awkward because I was nervous everyone gets nervous even if they don't want to admit it. Nervousness is not immaturity that is a fact.

I'm curious why you are almost 14 and still in 6th grade.

You are behaving like an argumentative 13 year old.
If this is OK with your parents and hers, why are you here arguing with people about their opinions?
I would not let my 11-12 year old daughter date. Mine did not date until she was 16. Taking a group of you to the movies, and I would be there too. Taking a group of you to the mall, I would do, but one on one dating at that age, no I did not and I would not.

I wouldn't allow my 11 year old 6th grade daughter to "date" a 13 year old 6th grader.

I would not allow my 11 year old to date 13 year old period.

Truth told. I don't allow my 11 year old to date. Yes, I have an 11 year old.

To answer when I was younger I had cancer until I was seven years old and had to start school late that is why I'm in 6th grade still

Well I didn't mean one on one dating I meant our parents taking us to the movies and things like that

I am sorry you were so sick. Hopefully you are cured and not in remission.

However, as a mother of an 11 year old, I would not allow my child to date at all at that age.

Well I wasn't cured but I've been in remission for five or six years

With my cancer I was considered cured after 10 years. Hopefully that's the same for you.

I'm glad you told us about the cancer. Because of everything you went through, I am sure you are more mature than other kids your age. This brings up the point that you are not only too old, but too mature to date an 11 or 12 year old 6th grade girl. You should set your sights for someone older.

I hope you continue to get better,
Group dating is one thing and I would not even call it dating. I still think 11 is too young for even that. But 13. I let my daughter go to a Jr High dance at school I took her and two other couples and the parent of the boy took them home.

Well how much older though

At least 13.

well I didn't mean one on one dating I meant our parents taking us to the movies and things like that

See this is what I have been asking, what do you mean by asking out. Had you explained that earlier, our answers would have changed slightly. But let me answer your other questions.

First, someone telling you that you are mature for your age, or more mature than your classmates or peers, is a compliment but it doesn't mean you are mature enough for certain things. At 13 there is no way you are mature period. At 13 you would be more mature than your classmates, and, having gone through cancer has probably also helped you mature early.

But, technically you are still a child. You will be until you reach 18. You may be considered an adolescent or young adult, but that is still a child. And I agree with the others, I wouldn't allow my daughter to date at 11. She was 14 before she was allowed to date 1 on 1.

And we have other reasons. It would be one thing for you to hang out together in groups. I have no problem with that if both sets of parents don't. But doing things like going out to eat, going to a movie, etc. are more adult things. One of the biggest things is how will you afford it? Even at first showing costs, taking her to a movie will set you back close to $20 for admission and snack. I'm assuming you don't have a job, and that's a lot for an allowance to cover. And what else would you do the rest of the month.

Your age is about making friends to hang out with. Maybe go to a movie in a group or terrorize ( ;) ) the mall on a weekend afternoon. Its still a bit young (especially the girls in your grade) for boy/girl relationships.

Yes I would prefer to do that but I can't really meet any thirteen year olds because I'm only in sixth grade with eleven and twelve year old girls so unless I meet a girl on the bus or something I won't meet any thirteen year olds

yes I would prefer to do that but I can't really meet any thirteen year olds because I'm only in sixth grade with eleven and twelve year old girls so unless I meet a girl on the bus or something I won't meet any thirteen year olds

There are other avenues for you. School groups that transcend grades. Church or other such groups.

Well like I said I could meet a girl on the bus last year I moved to three schools in one year but at the second school I met a sixth grader I liked on the bus good thing the bus ride was forty five minutes long and I was only in fifth grade so maybe its possible I could meet a girl on the bus cause I can't do any sort of after school activity especially sports I hate sports and am not very good at them I would just make myself look like an idiot

Do you live near the public library? Libraries emphasize middle school/teen books and programs nowadays. Your local Y and park district will offer programs and classes for your age group. Many of these will be on weekends. Churches offer youth programs (and you don't have to be a member, although you will be asked to join). Does your school have after-school programs (not just sports) and a late bus that you could take home?

I'm not talking about sports, sports don't tend to be co-ed so that doesn't help you. But how about the school newspaper? Or things like that? I think you will have a problem with girls in your grade. Parents will be suspicious of a student so much older than their daughters.

Have you looked into trying to get ahead in your school work so you can skip a grade and get closer to your own age groups? Maybe if you concentrate on school work and work real hard, you can go into 8th grade next year and things will be less awkward for you. I would strongly advise talking to your guidance counselor at school about this as soon as you start back in school (if you haven't already).

Your hormones say meet girls, the adults say meet people your own age and maturity level. Then you can enjoy yourself and have more options, and opportunities as you grow and learn more about the world, and yourself.

Okay I got a girlfriend my own way now there is two problems 1. someone who is one of my best friends likes her. I don't want to stop being his friend but I don't want to break up with her either any advice 2. she may have only said yes because she didn't want to hurt my feelings because she has been my friend just as long as the kid who likes her what do I do about this I need help.

Sorry it took so long for me to post again I've been busy with school and everything

That is one of the complications we were warning you about

okay I got a girlfriend my own way now their is two problems 1. someone who is one of my best friends likes her. I don't want to stop being his friend but I don't want to break up with her either any advice 2. she may have only said yes because she didn't want to hurt my feelings because she has been my friend just as long as the kid who likes her what do I do about this I need help.

sorry it took so long for me to post again I've been busy with school and everything


Yes this is why you are too young for this. These relationships are too complicated for your young minds.

You will never get a date, go out, or have a girlfriend unless you overcome your shyness and learn to talk to her. About ANYTHING! Practice makes perfect.


The whole point is sometimes your hormones lead to wacky uncomfortable and bad situations and you really have to control yourself and go slow with them. Its hard enough learning new things about your world and yourself as you change and grow during this time, without intense feelings getting in the way. Hormone driven intense new feelings take time to adjust too, and that's not easy without being cool, calm, collected, and ALWAYS in control of yourself.

Its so easy to be led astray by some know it all friend who doesn't know as much as you do most times, and find yourself in a big mess. Its called peer pressure, and its a easy trap to fall into, listening to the crowd, but the good news is if you can think for yourself, and be careful who you listening to you can avoid that trap.

Think for yourself and do what you know is the right thing, the right way, and listen to the right people if you don't now.

And PUH-Leeeeze! stop making new threads about the same questions. That's not the right thing to do for sure. Enjoy learning how to talk to girls ALL of them. Take it slow and do this the right way.

What do YOU think is the right thing to do? You got yourself in this, get yourself out of it. Sorry to be harsh, but you didn't listen to the adults before, so what makes us think you will listen NOW? Think it thru, and reply, and none of that know it all snark!

Argue with your parents about it. They gave you permission, they also probably have good advice and answers to your questions.

I realized something this week I don't need as much help as much as I thought I did

I realized something this week I don't need as much help as much as I thought I did

No, I think you now think you know more than you really do. So you will ignore older and wiser heads and do what you think is right, until you screw up and maybe learn from your mistakes.

I know there's this guy that has a major crush on me, he always walks me to class, and is always inviting me over so you can do that