My girlfriend who has ovarian cancer broke up with me. I love her. What should I do?
I'm an enjoyable person, lots of laughs but never had really interest in dating. Then along she comes... pretty and incredibly smart.

We met in nursing school and have been dating for about 6 months and we've given each other so much in the time span. When we decided to become a couple, I had already known she was diagnosed with cancer because I was there for her appointment with the doctor. I guess you could call it our first date since she asked me to come for support. When I entered my relationship with her, I understood that she had this cancer but despite the fact, I wanted to be with her. We just clicked. I loved everything about her, both the good and the bad.

Throughout our relationship, she always tried to break it off with me. She believed I deserved better, doesn't want me to suffer, there are so many unknowns and uncertainty about our future (ovarian cancer prognosis is very lethal). Also she possibly would have to have a complete hysterectomy (removal of many female reproductive organs) so she wouldn't be able to bear children.

It didn't matter to me... we could always adopt. I just wanted to grow old together.. Enjoy each other's company for the rest of our lives.

Anyhow, recently the cancer has taken it's toll on her. She undergoing treatment but much of it is a mystery to me as she doesn't want me worried. Many negative things have happened to her this year, and recently it's coming back to haunt her. Nightmares, uncertainty...

She broke up with me because right now she said she needs to be alone. She said it's too much to bear and she can't be with me right now because it hurts her. Despite all the good times we have together, she can't be happy until she healthy again. To many things going on in her life and she needs time alone from everyone until if/when she gets healthy. But I want to see her through this!

I love her though... I can't seem to leave her alone. I know she still loves me. She already threatened me saying that if I don't stop she'll stop talking to me altogether. Its painful knowing the person you love is suffering and you want to be there for them but they won't allow it. I know I'm coming off as needy but I need help :( What's your advice guys?

I used to have an elderly friend who was homebound and had been contacted by his local senior center to find out if he needed services and a visit from a social worker. He told me, "I am not a case, and I don't want to be managed!" I knew exactly what he meant.

Three years ago, I walked down Cancer Road. I was just fine mentally and emotionally, was dealing with everything very well, was doing research to find out more about what was wrong and what could be done to fix me, was even enjoying meeting and interacting with medical staff and other cancer patients. My husband wanted to fix everything for me. He wanted to engage me in lighthearted conversation. I didn't want to be entertained or to have to entertain. Friends wanted to visit me to chat about other stuff (to supposedly get my mind off cancer). I didn't want to play hostess. I wanted to be alone in my own "girl cave" to do my cancer research and make phone calls to whomever I chose to and read a novel or two and listen to music.

I didn't want to be made to feel pathetic or needy or less than normal. I didn't want to have to feel responsible for someone else's feelings and emotional well-being.

It took about six months for biopsies and testing and scans and surgery and radiation to happen. Once all that was finished, I was able to resume my normal life.

Please give your girlfriend time and space. She doesn't want to feel like a case and be managed, even by you. She sounds a lot like me.

You do sound a lot like her... She always tells me that no one can help her. Leave me alone, I don't want to talk anymore. And she hates pity and people being nice to her when they otherwise wouldn't be. And yes... the "girl cave", that sounds exactly like her. Also npt wanting to feel responsible for someone else's feelings and emotional well being... Recently whenever I told her "I love you" she would tell me to stop, because she didn't want to feel like she owed me anything. I don't know... a lot of this confuses me. It's my first time experiencing anything like this and I want to have a proactive outlook but it seems like everything just took a turn for the worst.

I do agree, she needs time and space and as much as it hurts me, I'll do my best to be strong about it and leave her alone. Being in contact with me just make her more sad... she doesn't even want to speak on the phone anymore. All our communication is through text. Sigh... I know life goes on and I have things to do and I keep telling myself these things but everything seems so hopeless right now.

Send her a funny card now and then (snail mail - NOT a get-well card). Write a short note on the card (or in texting) telling what YOU have been up to, sort of like a Tweet. Think of things to write that might make her smile or even laugh out loud. Be normal.

I lost my wife to cancer many years ago. When she found out, it was too late, she only had a few months left. They told her 6. She only made it 3.

She shut down, moved out of house, would not do anything. There is no way to make or force someone to interact. For many, there is a process, all you can do, is stay a friend let her know you are there for her, and wait.

We were talking about so many plans we had together for the future only a month ago. No choice but then to wait. I guess both our romantic lives are going to be put on hold and only time will tell if it was meant to be. Im slowly beginning to understand this now. I like the idea of the snail mail, its cute n non invasive. She'll appreciate that, I know it.