I go down on my wife and when she says are you hard I say yes she says stick it in. It will last for a while then goes limp. Please help

Have you been checked out by a doctor? Talk to him about ED. As well do you have any health issues? What do you use as protection? IE normal condoms versus thin sensations.

How do you masturbate? That can have an effect too. For example if you use a 'Death Grip' and you can train your penis to only react to that level of pressure and 'tightness'. When you go into a woman you can't really feel or recognize the sensation as well as when you pleasure yourself. You go soft.

Have you been checked out by a doctor? Talk to him about ED. As well do you have any health issues? What do you use as protection? IE normal condoms versus thin sensations.

How do you masturbate? That can have an effect too. For example if you use a 'Death Grip' and you can train your penis to only react to that level of pressure and 'tightness'. When you go into a woman you can't really feel or recognize the sensation as well as when you pleasure yourself. You go soft. I have been to the doctor and everything is fine just a little stress.
And when I masturbate I lay down and really grind in to a pillow

I have been to the doctor and everything is fine just a little stress.
And when I masturbate I lay down and really grind in to a pillow

I think both contribute. How frequent do you just go soft during sex? Every time or just every so often? How frequent?

Stress will cause things to go weird because it has the ability, while you consciously notice or not, to derail things. It makes your mind go funny, and causes you to lose concentration on the pretty naked lady and cause you to either be more distracted and easier for you to go flacid.

The masturbation could be an issue too. Maybe hold off on that or be a little more gentle when you do it.

I think both contribute. How frequent do you just go soft during sex? Everytime or just every so often? How frequent?

Stress will cause things to go weird because it has the ability, while you consciously notice or not, to derail things. It makes your mind go funny, and causes you to lose concentration on the pretty naked lady and cause you to either be more distracted and easier for you to go flacid.

The masturbation could be an issue too. Maybe hold off on that or be a little more gentle when you do it.
I go soft just once an a while

I haven't masturbated for almost 2 weeks now

I go down on my wife and when she says are you hard I say yes she says stick it in

Is this how you normally have intercourse with your wife, you perform oral sex on her and then "stick it in"? Does your wife do anything to arouse you or help focus your mind on what you are doing together or is she expecting you to do all the work?

On the occasions when you lose your erection, could you need more stimulation? Do you talk about likes and fantasies or try other things that might be arousing for both of you? Is there a mutual sharing of pleasure?

What is different between the times you go soft and the times you don't?

How old are you... there is a huge differnce between if you are 25 or 75.