My daughter has told her new man that I allowed a man I was in a relationship with that I let him beat and drug and rape her. Not only is this a lie with many witnesses including cops, but she is now keeping my grandchildren from me because I would lie to her boyfriend to cover her lie.
There is so much more going on but that starts the basics.
My grandson is Autistic and very much a Gramma's boy. My grand-daughter keeps waving to me from her window (she lives 5 houses away) and her mother will yank her out of the window and cuss at her for waving at me. She is almost 3.
I miss them like crazy, and this is not fair to me or them.
Can I sue her for defamation or slander?
Mj in Tennessee

How is this lie affecting your business? Are you out any money because of this lie?

That's the basis for suing for defamation or slander. Suing is supposed to make you financially whole. In other words, if you lost money because of this lie, and you can prove it's a lie and that it caused you to lose money, then you could sue for the money you lost.

If you're not out any money because of this lie, you have no case.

I really doubt that you will get anywhere with such a suit.

Unless you have thousands of dollars to spend on an attorney, you will need to find an attorney willing to take the case on a contingent fee. It doesn't look like one that would interest me, were I practicing in your jurisdiction (which I am not). But it wouldn't hurt to ask local attorneys if they would take the case. The worst thing they can do would be to say "no."

The meat of it is that your daughter told someone that you allowed your BF to abuse her when she was a child. How are you damaged (financially) by this false statement?

Many witnesses and cops -- to what?
She's been accusing him (and you) for much of her life?
I would let it go. She might be able to prove through some old DNA evidence that the man did have sex with her when she was a minor. Happens all the time. Your witnesses and cops aren't proof that it didn't happen.
Please don't get offended. All I'm saying is that you not only don't have a lawsuit, but it could backfire.

I agree with the others that such a suit is unlikely to be successful.

But even if it were, it would not get you anywhere with seeing your grandchildren. That is a totally separate matter and you have few rights there to force her to give you visitation.

Such a suit at best will get you money for damages, if you can prove a loss or damage.

It will not get your to see the grandchildren, sorry but there is little you can do

No I can't get into any trouble. Yes she had sex with my fiancé while I was pregnant with his child. Its why I left him. Its why I gave his children up for adoption; so they would be safe.
She got in my face and laughed about how I was working 80 hours a week and he had given her my bank card and they were living it up together behind my back. That was in 2007.
I had six children other than her. When she broke my heart and bragged in my face about what had been happening, I immediately contacted family members and had my children placed. Since she was still under 18 at the time, I told her there would be a reckoning on her 18th birthday which did not come to fruition because she had my grandson just prior to turning 18.
She was an accessory to her husband's death in April 2011, taking my grandchildren's father away from them because he woke up to her having sex with his best friend in the livingroom with my grandson there. My son in law got into a fight with his best friend over her, and the only way the friend could stop the beating my son in law was giving him was to get my son in law in a sleeper hold and he held my son in law in that position with my daughter standing there watching until he was unconscious. He broke my son in laws neck in the process.
My daughter did nothing. She didn't even call for help;
The man who killed my son in law finally called the police for help after he sat on the porch talking to my daughter and finally realized that time has passed and my son in law had not gotten up.
At least, that is the story they told police.

As to the incidents with my ex, I took her to the police department. I called child services. I was fully ready to face the law over not protecting my daughter.
She told the police and child service that my fiancé did not touch her against her will or rape her. That they were boyfriend and girlfriend and I needed to get over it.

They put my ex in jail for contributing to the delinquency of a minor; he served six months.

They did nothing to me, and they did not take her from me.

So...
What you are telling me is that it is perfectly okay for her to mess with so many lives and feelings and I have no recourse of any kind?
That it is okay for her to accuse me of being a rapist or at least an accessory to rape and abuse, and slander me all she wants and I have no right to any legal action at all? Or is it just not a slander case? Do I have grounds for any type of legal recourse??

Or am I stuck just beating the living hell out of this little witch and posting bond afterward??

I can't call her a slut without being charged with verbal abuse, but she can call me a rapist and nothing happens??

Where in the heck are they doing that at?!

I agree with the others that such a suit is unlikely to be successful.

But even if it were, it would not get you anywhere with seeing your grandchildren. That is a totally separate matter and you have few rights there to force her to give you visitation.

I don't want visitation! I want my life back!
I want to be able to walk down the streets of my hometown and not be accused of being a damn rapist!

The law is not necessarily fair. In this case while what she did was not right, it doesn't meet the criteria for a successful suit.

You said she made these accusations to the police, has she made them more public? Who is calling you a rapist on the streets of your hometown?

Also, from what you describe, the town should know her history as well and what she says is likely to be taken with a large grain of salt. I would hold my head up high on those streets and if anyone says anything about these accusations just point to the source and the fact that all charges were dropped.

...
So...
What you are telling me is that it is perfectly okay for her to ...I can't call her a slut without being charged with verbal abuse, but she can call me a rapist and nothing happens???

Where in the heck are they doing that at?!?!?

No. It is not OK.

But you aren't going to get anywhere trying to sue her for defamation.

And who told you that she could charge you with "verbal abuse"?

So...
What you are telling me is that it is perfectly okay for her to ...I can't call her a slut without being charged with verbal abuse, but she can call me a rapist and nothing happens???



So it sounds to me like you are saying she actually did charge you with verbal abuse since you didn't say she threatened you? If that is the case where does that stand now?

This bad blood is so sad and awful and unresolvable. I'd MOVE 10 blocks away. If you can.

Can you sue her? That is a question for a lawyer. The real question is though why is she doing this. A couple theories, 1 something did happened to her without you knowing about it but you where around enough to maybe notice it and she blames you. 2 Something happened to her that is completely removed from you but she has misplaced rage. Misplaced rage is very serious as all logic and reason go right out the window. So that person whoever the pick, that person is responsible for what happened to them. It's a way to protect themselves and move on with their lives, as long as they can point a finger at someone else then they can't point it at themselves thus avoiding the feeling guilt. There are several different reasons a person does this, one possibility is that they can't handle the fact that someone close to them did it, they won't believe it, so someone else becomes there outlet for what happened.

I'm not sure if that was of any help to you or not, I hope so. I honestly could not say what the situation really is, only she knows. I would try talking to her. If you completely say what she is saying is a lie it will not go over. Weather you like it or not what she is saying very well might feel like the truth to her. Try to, in the conversation SLOWLY point out what is fact about what she is saying, and SLOWLY, very slowly point out what is not truth.

I wish you both the best
Nathan

Can you sue her? that is a question for a lawyer.

Yes, and since this question was asked in a Law forum, answers here need to deal with the legal question. While your response was well meant and may be good advice it was inappropriate for this forum. Please be aware of where a question was posted before responding.

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