I'm a 19 year old female. I lost my virginity 9 months ago and any type of sexual activity is pleasure less for me. I've had normal sex, I've tried different positions, I've tried oral sex and masturbation and still I feel no pleasure. I am able to get aroused quite easily but when it comes down to performing sexual Activities I get nothing. I don't know what's wrong with me and its getting to the point of feeling frustrated and disappointed that I'm not able to experience having a good sex life. I've spoke to a couple of friends and they have said after a couple of times sex eventually felt great for them and that masturbating is great for them which makes me definitely think there must be something wrong with me.
I need some sort of insight on what could be the reason and what I should do?

For clarification: Are you feeling the stimulation, but not getting any pleasure from it or are you having problems feeling the physical stimulation itself?

This may seem strange, are the sensations of direct contact too strong? For some the nerve endings can overstimulate and pleasure becomes uncomfortable. If this is the case, try changing how you touch yourself or have your partner touch you. Concentrate on other areas and only lightly tease the pubic area.

You might start with a visit to your gynecologist for a check up and to discuss the issue. There could be a physical reason for the disconnect.

If you are having issues with numbness or decreased sensation, this is something to talk over with your doctor. Some studies have shown that women who ride bicycles a lot or other forms of transportation/exercise that put pressure on the pubic area can have issues with the nerve endings. If you have a decrease in sensory perception, then you can also have a decrease in pleasure from sexual contact.

If everything checks out fine, then you can explore other options such as a mental disconnection between arousal and physical contact.

A checkup is in order, just in case there are medical reasons and solutions but the bottom line is you are new to the experience and haven't had a chance to explore and experiment with the main sex organ, your mind.

Being turned on and receptive is a process not an event. What? You thought it would just happen without self knowledge and self awareness?

Why did you decide it was time to lose your virginity, and how do you feel about the partner you are with? Was he a virgin too?

Thank you to you both for replying so soon


For clarification: Are you feeling the stimulation, but not getting any pleasure from it or are you having problems feeling the physical stimulation itself?

This may seem strange, are the sensations of direct contact too strong? For some the nerve endings can overstimulate and pleasure becomes uncomfortable. If this is the case, try changing how you touch yourself or have your partner touch you. Concentrate on other areas and only lightly tease the pubic area.

You might start with a visit to your gynecologist for a check up and to discuss the issue. There could be a physical reason for the disconnect.

If you are having issues with numbness or decreased sensation, this is something to talk over with your doctor. Some studies have shown that women who ride bicycles a lot or other forms of transportation/exercise that put pressure on the pubic area can have issues with the nerve endings. If you have a decrease in sensory perception, then you can also have a decrease in pleasure from sexual contact.

If everything checks out fine, then you can explore other options such as a mental disconnection between arousal and physical contact.


Thank you for replying & yes I am feeling the stimulation and but I am not getting any pleasure from it


A checkup is in order, just in case there are medical reasons and solutions but the bottom line is you are new to the experience and haven't had a chance to explore and experiment with the main sex organ, your mind.

Being turned on and receptive is a process not an event. What?? You thought it would just happen without self knowledge and self awareness?

Why did you decide it was time to lose your virginity, and how do you feel about the partner you are with? Was he a virgin too?


Thank you for replying & I made the decision to have sex when I find someone whom I really care for who I trust and is comfortable around and I found that person, I waited a couple of months after we got together to have sex, I wanted to be sure it what we have was 100% genuine and would be long term