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louise1928
Aug 15, 2013, 03:04 PM
IS THIS EVEN LEGAL? He expects me to be happy for him! I got so freaking angry, I told him "Your throwing away your life for a girl you say you love at the age of 16!" So he stormed out saying "I thought you of all people would be happy for me your my best friend! It's not like we are going to get married straight away i just want her to know how much i love her...If you can't be happy for me then maybe your not good enough to be my friend."

Should I be happy for him? Because right now all I can be is worried he's like a brother to me and I don't want to see him get hurt. The girl seems to be a nice person but she's only just turned 16 so it's not just him I'm worried about.

N0help4u
Aug 15, 2013, 03:12 PM
18 without parental consent
16 with parental consent

Homegirl 50
Aug 15, 2013, 06:02 PM
How old is he? Are they getting married this year? Stop tripping.

Fr_Chuck
Aug 15, 2013, 09:36 PM
They can get engaged anytime they want, it is the getting married that is controlled.

When do they plan the wedding, many couples stay engaged for 1, 2, 5 or more years

ScottGem
Aug 16, 2013, 03:15 AM
What do the parents say? There is nothing illegal about saying you are engaged or proposing and having it accepted. As long as they wait until they are old enough to legally marry its fine.

Experience says that marriages between very young people have a greater failure rate.

joypulv
Aug 16, 2013, 04:19 AM
You don't have to be happy for him. But as his best friend, you don't have to rant and rave and condemn him either. Be a good, understanding, listening best friend. You want to be there if they start to have problems, right, and not have him afraid of you just saying 'I told you so?'
Tell him you're sorry and will do your best to be understanding.

N0help4u
Aug 16, 2013, 04:31 AM
Hoy is right. You do not want to distance your friend. You can be supportive even if you do not condone something. Ranting and I told you so is the last thing a real friend needs to hear. And as the others said he has 2 years yet unless they get parental consent

Handyman2007
Aug 16, 2013, 05:00 AM
100 years ago, 16 years of age was actually the average age of a married woman. People are always jumping on the age of people yet do not realize that our societies and ancestors were much younger than us when the started families and working. There is no law stating that just because these two are engaged that they need to marry directly. They can go years without marriage,, My guess is they will break up before they ever get the chance to marry. As they mature, they will learn more about themselves and each other. That can be a game changer. Leave them be, Stay friends and apologize. It's their business not yours.

J_9
Aug 16, 2013, 06:44 AM
People are always jumping on the age of people yet do not realize that our societies and ancestors were much younger than us when the started families and working.

And those ancestors died at much younger ages. At one time 45 was considered old. People died before the age of 50 and more women died in childbirth.

N0help4u
Aug 16, 2013, 06:53 AM
The thing I see in the difference then and now is that society is changed people are different. Then-
Girls accepted things as they were - arranged marriage. Now women are independent, whether its knowing what they want or confused about what they want. Then - Guys were Men with responsibility- Now many turn out to be dead beat playing video games all day, addicts, etc...

ScottGem
Aug 16, 2013, 08:20 AM
I don't think we can apply situations from a different technological period to the current era. As noted, the reason why people married younger and stayed married in pre-industrial revolution era is many. Medical science meant people had shorter life spans. People didn't travel very far from home so their circle of acquaintances was much smaller.

louise1928
Aug 16, 2013, 08:38 AM
they can get engaged anytime they want, it is the getting married that is controled.

when do they plan the wedding, many couples stay engaged for 1, 2, 5 or more years

I asked him this today he says next year if he can get his parents permission or sooner but if not he will ait until they are both 18.

louise1928
Aug 16, 2013, 08:40 AM
How old is he? Are they getting married this year? Stop tripping.

16 I did say in the title, and yes if they can get parental consent apparently.

Homegirl 50
Aug 16, 2013, 09:27 AM
Well it's not likely that the parents are going to approve of their 16 year old kids marrying. I would not worry about it. Just be the friend.