So I've stopped harming myself for a long time now but I still get the urge to still do it and ever since I've stopped I've became more and more aggressive and anti social, what does this mean?

It means you have a mental illness and need to get help. Make an appointment with a doctor immediately. They can give you the answers you seek and prescribe medications to make you feel normal and peaceful inside. The feelings you are having are not normal and you do not have to continue to have these feelings.

You really would need to talk to a therapist. I can try to look some things up for you later.

It means you have psychological problems.

So, instead of turning your anger inwards, and self-harm, you are now turning it toward others instead.

You need to see a therapist.

I believe that you do need to speak to a therapist. He or she will be able to help you manage that.

There is NO shame in getting professional help. You came on here for help and that's a step in the right direction.

Best of luck.

It means you have a mental illness and need to get help. Make an appointment with a doctor immediately. They can give you the answers you seek and prescribe medications to make you feel normal and peaceful inside. The feelings you are having are not normal and you do not have to continue to have these feelings.

But I'm afraid of taking tablets, they're one of the reason I started and I can't seek doctors help they'll just refer me to a physciatrist


You really would need to talk to a therapist. I can try to look some things up for you later.

Honestly I'm scared I don't feel like I need help, I need a miracle


It means you have psychological problems.

So, instead of turning your anger inwards, and self-harm, you are now turning it toward others instead.

You need to see a therapist.

I know but isn't the feeling mutual or normal


I believe that you do need to speak to a therapist. He or she will be able to help you manage that.

There is NO shame in getting professional help. You came on here for help and that's a step in the right direction.

Best of luck.

Thank you :/

What things made you self harm? What things are triggering you wanting to hurt others? When you want to harm others what are you doing about it? Do they know you are having a problem toward them?

what things made you self harm? What things are triggering you wanting to hurt others? When you want to harm others what are you doing about it? Do they know you are having a problem toward them?



Its really little things like mum and dads attitudes towards their marriage (they keep arguing, threatening and fighting), peoples memories (dgrandma passed away 3 weeks ago and nobody seems to understand why I still get upset), I've always wanted a stable family but slim chance of that happening, being bullied, home raids etc... and usually I cuss, slam doors, go to my room (either listening to loud metal to block people out or punching wardrobes or walls :/

What makes you feel like you have no control over your life? School? A friend? A parent? Homework? Grades? A sibling? A bully? ***ADDED*** I see you posted some of this as I was asking these questions.

What would you like to see improve most of all?

How old are you? You need to start working toward little goals that can help you be independent when you are old enough to get out of your situation. Like cut grass and do odd jobs to save money. Work on you and try not to deal with the drama

How old are you? You need to start working toward little goals that can help you be independent when you are old enough to get out of your situation. Like cut grass and do odd jobs to save money. Work on you and try not to deal with the drama

I want to be inderpendent and things but ny parents don't trust me to let me go out yet (not even with older girl mates) and I'm sick and tired of saving money up, I've said up £3,500 already and I'm not even allowed to use that money till I'm 18 and mum and dad don't believe in giving money for doing house chorus


What makes you feel like you have no control over your life? school? a friend? a parent? homework? grades? a sibling? a bully? ***ADDED*** I see you posted some of this as I was asking these questions.

What would you like to see improve most of all?


Honestly id just live to see my whole life in a new spective I don't want any of the stupid things that happen to continue I get depressed over tiny things and I usually want help but don't know where to look dads not good at all with talking without shouting and well mums always just telling other people secret things and it just makes me feel so damn useless and sometimes my anger builds up so rater than telling them about my feelings I just think about taking anger out on them and then that leads to me hurting myself

Honestly id just live to see my whole life in a new spective
You're a smart person. Is there some way to start that new life now? You are in charge of your feelings, and you know that cutting and lashing out verbally or physically doesn't accomplish a darn thing.

Is there something else you can do instead -- something positive? What could you do in place of destructive actions? (Don't say eat cookies 'cause then you will get fat!)

You're a smart person. Is there some way to start that new life now? You are in charge of your feelings, and you know that cutting and lashing out verbally or physically doesn't accomplish a darn thing.

Is there something else you can do instead -- something positive? What could you do in place of destructive actions? (Don't say eat cookies 'cause then you will get fat!)


I know taking anger on another person isn't right but sometimes I can't control my feelings, and I feel lime I should lash out (but I haven't as of yet and I'm scared in case it does happen).

Usually id just go to my room and block vouces by listening to music but then doing that gives me time to reflect of stuff I do and that hurts me more...

Ive got a boyfriend and whilst talking to him I'm happy because he understand me but I can't start a new "life" considerring I'm not supposed to trade numbers with a guy let alone date him. :'(

You are 16, correct?

you are 16, correct?

Yes :/, why?

yes :/, why?

Here's an idea. Maybe it'll help.

Instead of brooding over how your current situation isn't what you want, start planning how to change it as soon as you're legally able to. You've started saving, that's the hardest part. Check into apartments; you can find photo listings on Real Estate dealer websites. You don't have to contact the dealer, just look. Then look up what kind of dishes you want, what kind of hoover, what furniture you would put in this apartment or that one. Decide which couch would work in several places. How would you decorate each one?

Work up a budget for each listing: rent, water, gas, electric, food, entertainment, transportation, etc.

It's early to be looking for a job, but not for figuring out what kind of job you want. Do you deal with people or animals better? Dog walkers can make out fairly well in cities. You listen to music a bit. Can you clerk at a music store? These are examples of getting paid for what you like doing.

Get a plan worked out for when you become able to change your situation so you can start right then. Circumstances can change, so have some flexibility built in.

In the meantime, you can start counting down the days, the hours, the minutes, until you can make the changes you have planned out.

Here's an idea. Maybe it'll help.

Instead of brooding over how your current situation isn't what you want, start planning how to change it as soon as you're legally able to. You've started saving, that's the hardest part. Check into apartments; you can find photo listings on Real Estate dealer websites. You don't have to contact the dealer, just look. Then look up what kind of dishes you want, what kind of hoover, what furniture you would put in this apartment or that one. Decide which couch would work in several places. How would you decorate each one?

Work up a budget for each listing: rent, water, gas, electric, food, entertainment, transportation, etc.

It's early to be looking for a job, but not for figuring out what kind of job you want. Do you deal with people or animals better? Dog walkers can make out fairly well in cities. You listen to music a bit. Can you clerk at a music store? These are examples of getting paid for what you like doing.

Get a plan worked out for when you become able to change your situation so you can start right then. Circumstances can change, so have some flexibility built in.

In the meantime, you can start counting down the days, the hours, the minutes, until you can make the changes you have planned out.


Wow oh god its stupid that this has made me smile but your suggestion/idea is actually quiet goid I'm genuinely glad you said that... thankyou

Here is what you could try for now:
If you have someone you can trust, then tell them how you feel and talk to them. If you don't have that someone, then write right down what angers you.

If your parents are argumentative with you, then it's better to not argue back with them. Just learn how to let go.

Tell them how you feel.

If they start yelling at you, then be patient and think if you did something to fuel their rage. Redeem yourself if you believe it's your fault. If you think it wasn't your fault, then ask them why.

Report the bullying to your school counselor.
Find better friends. It's better to not be alone, or you are going to be an easy target.

Here is what you could try for now:
If you have someone you can trust, then tell them how you feel and talk to them. If you don’t have that someone, then write right down what angers you.

If your parents are argumentative with you, then it’s better to not argue back with them. Just learn how to let go.

Tell them how you feel.

If they start yelling at you, then be patient and think if you did something to fuel their rage. Redeem yourself if you believe it’s your fault. If you think it wasn’t your fault, then ask them why.

Report the bullying to your school counselor.
Find better friends. It’s better to not be alone, or you are going to be an easy target.

Thank you but its easier said than done and I don't write personal things down anymore considerring my brother read all my thoughts when I had a diary :/ and sometimes I know I'm in the wrong but just can't help it... And when they're in the wrong ill just react the same which is angerly

Well, you only can decide how to deal with your problems.

Practice makes perfect. Learning how to be patient is the same. Who said beginnings are easy?

thankyou but its easier said than done and i dont write personal things down anymore considerring my brother read all my thoughts when i had a diary :/ and sometimes i know im in the wrong but just can't help it... And when theyre in the wrong ill just react the same which is angerly
You can't control them but how they act is controlling you. Don't let them do that to you. Take back your power!

Well, you only can decide how to deal with your problems.

Practice makes perfect. Learning how to be patient is the same. Who said beginnings are easy?


Thanks and that's true but sometimes practasing takes way too long to learn to do something properly


You can't control them but how they act is controlling you. Don't let them do that to you. Take back your power!

But how do I take back power qith out hurting others

But how do i take back power qith out hurting others
Taking back your power doesn't mean using force. This kind of power means self control. Life situations are messing with your head and making you think you have no control, no power. But you do. It IS your choice to act -- by lashing out or by cutting yourself or by finding a peaceful way to react to the stress, usually by getting away from it and finding something positive to do.

What could that positive thing be for you? For me it would be cleaning the bathroom or pulling weeds or baking brownies or playing FreeCell on the computer or (gently) brushing one or more of my cats. Positive for me would be getting my mind off the stress and using my energies elsewhere.

Taking back your power doesn't mean using force. This kind of power means self control. Life situations are messing with your head and making you think you have no control, no power. But you do. It IS your choice to act -- by lashing out or by cutting yourself or by finding a peaceful way to react to the stress, usually by getting away from it and finding something positive to do.

What could that positive thing be for you? For me it would be cleaning the bathroom or pulling weeds or baking brownies or playing FreeCell on the computer or (gently) brushing one or more of my cats. Positive for me would be getting my mind off the stress and using my energies elsewhere.


That makes a lot of sense and ill try to use this method and thank you very much

That makes alot of sense and ill try to use this method and thankyou very much
I'm going to be sitting on your shoulder and whispering in your ear, "Positive power! Positive power!" If you feel something jumping up and down with excitement on your shoulder when you're doing good, that'll be me. :D

I'm going to be sitting on your shoulder and whispering in your ear, "Positive power! Positive power!" If you feel something jumping up and down with excitement on your shoulder when you're doing good, that'll be me. :D

Do you know what? That's so darn sweet and I love you lot for actually wasting your time to help me, its actually quiet thoughtful

Do you know what? Thats so darn sweet and i love you lot for actually wasting your time to help me, its actually quiet thoughtful
So we have a deal? You'll let me sit on your shoulder for free? I promise not to pull your hair!

And I want a weekly report on this thread as to how things are going, okay?

So we have a deal? You'll let me sit on your shoulder for free? I promise not to pull your hair!

And I want a weekly report on this thread as to how things are going, okay?

Im sort of new to this so I don't quiet understand how to give a weekly report on this thread (p.s I have no idea what you mean by thread too) haha and okay you can sit on my shoulders aslong as you don't hurt me

Im sort of new to this so i dont quiet understand how to give a weekly report on this thread (p.s i have no idea what you mean by thread too) haha and okay you can sit on my shoulders aslong as you dont hurt me
All you have to do is just what you did now, post in this same thread (this line of responses) and give us an update.

Of course, as long as you are positive, I won't pull your hair. :D

All you have to do is just what you did now, post in this same thread (this line of responses) and give us an update.

Of course, as long as you are positive, I won't pull your hair. :D

Ooh okay ill try to give a response to you if I can remember haha just messing about ill post updates and Thank you very much

I ended up cutting myself today, I don't know why I got the erge to do it after a whole year. I think things kept getting to me and the only way I feel is... that by helping to prove others right then I'm making myself happy because everyone's getting what they won't which is me to slowly be a past memory. Don't get me wrong I've been suicidal in the past but today when I put the blade across my arm there was something that made me want to stop but then again I felt like a coward. Shortly after cutting myself mum ended up swearing at me (un-aware of my feelings or situation) as so did my brother which made me feel like I did the wrong thing for not going fourth with it. Idek what's wrong with me, I don't know how to feel anymore.

So, have you been seeing a therapist like you were told you need to do in previous posts on this topic?

Why do you insist on giving away your power to everyone else?

I ended up cutting again this time on my thigh, they say cutting is an attention seeking method however I have a valid reason I think. Mum and dad always fight when I come back from school, but two days ago whilst they fought he got up and made her cry. He punched her in the back that she was tossing and turning. I felt so much hate I wanted to get up and just kill him myself. Ive told them they're better off separated again but neither of them listen, they just blame me after all I am "the child who was a mistake". I genuinely do not have aclue as to what I'm supposed to do anymore.

Find better ways to deal with your stress and emotions especially frustration and anger. Young people are often not very good at coping with difficult situations so they make up ways that are often as bad as the situations and circumstances they are stressed about. Add to that the people around you don't know what to do about it either, and often make you feel worse, or more confused.

When merging your threads, a pattern emerged of YOU reacting to your parents stresses, and combined with a lack of knowing what to do when they stress you out, (or anything else) you cut/self harm. Some people shout, some leave in a huff, some even throw things. All for the same reason, relieving the stress and changing the FEELINGS they cause which is quite INTENSE.

You cannot do this by yourself, nor stop their bad behavior and words, so you must learn a new way of coping with the actions of others, by finding an adult who can help, a school counselor comes to mind, or someone else you TRUST. Ideally you should talk to your mom, during a quiet private moment, explaining your need to find a better way to deal with young emotions and stress. But plan B is another trusted adult who has the skills to guide you in finding and practicing better coping skills and self control over your own feelings, thoughts, and actions.

Is there another adult you respect and TRUST? I know doctors and psychiatrists, and meds are out, though that's the BEST route to go. But another adult that can teach you how to maintain your cool, stay calm, and be collected and in control of YOURSELF, when the world around you is wacked, and crazy, is what's needed.

How does your brother cope?

I agree with what Tal said. And don't be just another powerless person and allow your emotions to rule. Take control of yourself and be the adult in the room. You see adults acting like naughty (and worse) children. You are better than that! And like Tal said, find a mentor or sponsor who will talk you through the bad spots, someone you can call during the rough times, someone who calls to check up on how things are going..