Im 16 and he's 25. At first we didn't get along but now we are close. He has spent more than 100$ on me to attend a class he teaches.(he offered) And we email each other almost daily. We trade secrets and he asks me about my life. One time he went on a teacher conference in Los Angeles and everyday he was gone he sent me at least one email. I remember one day while he was gone he didn't write me until 3am! He seems honestly interested. He's single and I really like him. How do I know if he likes me? I worry that he's just a really sweet guy and only cares for me as a student... Please help me and don't judge. I would never do anything to risk his career.

It doesn't matter if he likes you, or what - he isn't just risking his career, he's risking prison, having any involvement with you at all outside of class.
You need to cut him off, since it seems that he isn't seeing the danger he's in.

You said it yourself, "I would never do anything to risk his career." Leave him alone. You're a teenager and he is a caring teacher. Do you have friends?

It doesn't matter if he likes you, or what - he isn't just risking his career, he's risking prison, having any involvement with you at all outside of class.
You need to cut him off, since it seems that he isn't seeing the danger he's in.

Well if he doesn't like me then he isn't risking anything. But I understand. How should I "cut him off"?


You said it yourself, "I would never do anything to risk his career." Leave him alone. You're a teenager and he is a caring teacher. Do you have friends?

Yes I do have lots of friends actually, which is why I'm surprised he even notice me. And so your saying he doesn't like me more than any average teacher?

We can't speak for him. He isn't here!
We can only address what you need to do, which is to tell him (next time he emails) that you won't be having any more contact with him outside of class. You are doing this FOR HIS SAKE. How he feels is not relevant.

Yes i do have lots of friends actually, which is why im surprised he even notice me. And so your saying he doesn't like me more than any average teacher?

No, he doesn't. Sometimes young teachers go a little overboard to make sure they do everything for their students. I think you should hang out with your friends and just forget him.

We can't speak for him. He isn't here!
We can only address what you need to do, which is to tell him (next time he emails) that you won't be having any more contact with him outside of class. You are doing this FOR HIS SAKE. How he feels is not relevant.

I know it's the right thing to do but its hard because of my feelings for him. Thank you for answering my question.


No, he doesn't. Sometimes young teachers go a little overboard to make sure they do everything for their students. I think you should hang out with your friends and just forget him.

I understand what you are saying. And I have tried to just "forget" him as you say but. I have classes with him that he PAID for and it would be rude to drop out. Does that make sense? And it's not only that but he invites me to do things I don't ask him...

No, it isn't rude to drop his classes. You didn't ask him to pay for them. You don't seem to be grasping the seriousness of this (understandable at 16). We would hope that at 25 he would be smarter about his career, but not all 25 year olds are as mature as others.
'Involvement' of an adult (anyone 18+) who is in a position of authority or trust (especially a teacher) with a minor will be treated extra harshly by law in most all if not all 50 states in the US. It doesn't matter whether it gets to the stage of actual sexual relations or not, although certainly sex would be a clincher. He is in TROUBLE if any adult decides to notify law enforcement.

I understand what you are saying. And i have tried to just "forget" him as you say but. I have classes with him that he PAID for and it would be rude to drop out. Does that make sense? And it's not only that but he invites me to do things i dont ask him...

If you want him to get out of your life, then drop out of the classes. Or, you ignore his emails and finish the classes.

If you want him to get out of your life, then drop out of the classes. Or, you ignore his emails and finish the classes.

I don't want him out of my life I like him. And if he doesn't like me (as you said earlier) then I have no reason to avoid him. Thank you for answering my questions =)


No, it isn't rude to drop his classes. You didn't ask him to pay for them. You don't seem to be grasping the seriousness of this (understandable at 16). We would hope that at 25 he would be smarter about his career, but not all 25 year olds are as mature as others.
'Involvement' of an adult (anyone 18+) who is in a position of authority or trust (especially a teacher) with a minor will be treated extra harshly by law in most all if not all 50 states in the US. It doesn't matter whether it gets to the stage of actual sexual relations or not, although certainly sex would be a clincher. He is in TROUBLE if any adult decides to notify law enforcement.

Wait, so your saying he could already get in trouble just for being nice to me? (Nice jab with the 16 y/o thing)

I would like to have a relationship with a teacher as we all know is against the law. But I will wait until I'm graduated. He's invited me to go on a trip with him in 2016 when I will already be 1 year graduated. Should tell him my feeling before or after the trip?

The thing about crushes on teachers is you keep it to yourself and don't cross the boundaries of good behavior which you have already done with the everyday texting, and secrets sharing.

He should know better, and so should you. Its entirely inappropriate and should stop immediately, and you should never have accepted his offer to pay for you taking his class. That was poor taste and a bad decision. Stop following your feelings and think. Would your parents approve if they knew all the detail of this crush? I doubt it and I doubt you tell them everything. But you should.

Until you do, you are both doing the WRONG thing.

This teacher is being very inappropriate with you. Texting you while he is away and suggesting you go on a cruise with him in the future is wrong and just plain tacky.
You a 16 year old has fallen for this crap. You are flattered but you need to use your head. This man could lose his job and possibly go to jail.
Drop out of the class, stop accepting emails and text. Start talking to boys your own age. You are headed down the wrong road.

Do any of the other students know he is doing these things with and for you?

Do any of the other students know he is doing these things with and for you?

No as most students dislike him as a teacher.

I get you feel special, but it doesn't make it right. Don't be blind because you have a crush.

No as most students dislike him as a teacher.
Why?

Why?

He's very strict. And when a student does something wrong he always notices.


I get you feel special, but it doesn't make it right. Don't be blind because you have a crush.


I understand. But what if I want to have a relationship with him after I graduate? Is it wrong to keep my friendship with him? He teaches math so his classes are required.

He's very strict. And when a student does something wrong he always notices.
Um, that's what teachers are supposed to be like and do.

I agree with the others. You are jeopardizing this man's teaching career. He should have had an ethics class in college where he learned not to hang out like this with students on such a personal level. If he continues (and you don't stop it), and he gets caught, I don't feel sorry for him at all.

Do your parents know he paid for this required class and trade secret by texts, and he does nice things for you? Of course they don't, and that makes the whole thing with an adult 9 years older than you grossly inappropriate.

Do your parents know he paid for this required class and trade secret by texts, and he does nice things for you? Of course they don't, and that makes the whole thing with an adult 9 years older than you grossly inappropriate.

My parents do know. The are 13 years apart and married. They tell me that if he does anything to make me at all uncomfortable to tell someone immediately. They think of him as my friend as do I.

They think of him as my friend as do I.
But he's more than that to you, isn't he.

And teachers are NOT to be students' friends.

Um, that's what teachers are supposed to be like and do.

I agree with the others. You are jeopardizing this man's teaching career. He should have had an ethics class in college where he learned not to hang out like this with students on such a personal level. If he continues (and you don't stop it), and he gets caught, I don't feel sorry for him at all.

I'm not jeprodizing his career. He is, he is the one who continues our messages.


But he's more than that to you, isn't he.

And teachers are NOT to be students' friends.

He is my crush. And don't tell me that I'm not the teacher he is. And he isn't every students friend...

Then why ask strangers when your mom knows everything, even your crush on him and texting and stuff?

I'm not jeprodizing his career. He is, he is the one who continues our messages.
If you continue to respond, you are equally guilty. Tell him no more and stop it.

Then why ask strangers when your mom knows everything, even your crush on him and texting and stuff?

Because my mom thinks of him as my friend and I asked if he likes me MORE than that. And so far no one has answered that question. Everyone is just scolding me on how dumb I am and selfish. But it doesn't effect me. I just want my question answered.

He is my crush. And don't tell me that I'm not the teacher he is. And he isn't every students friend...
He is not to be your friend either, especially not the way he is going about it. He is disrespecting his profession.

If you continue to respond, you are equally guilty. Tell him no more and stop it.

Don't you understand that I like him? I asked my question on here to confirm if he likes me more than a friend or student. I am being selfish by continuing my contact with him but what do you expect from a 16 year old?

Don't you understand that I like him? I asked my question on here to confirm if he likes me more than a friend or student. I am being selfish by continuing my contact with him but what do you expect from a 16 year old?
I expect a LOT more from a 16 year old. If you were 10, I might understand, but not 16.

I you really like him, then do the honorable and moral thing and stop the communication/friend stuff.

Don't expect any of us to know what's on his mind if you and your mom don't. What's does she say about your crush, and how he may feel toward you?

Have you asked her?

Don't expect any of us to know what's on his mind if you and your mom don't. What's does she say about your crush, and how he may feel toward you?

Have you asked her?

She thinks he likes me more than an average student. And thinks that sometime he has a little too much interest in me. She warns me that if it gets out of hand she will call the school. But I don't plan on telling her anymore. She doesn't even know about the trip.

I expect a LOT more from a 16 year old. If you were 10, I might understand, but not 16.

I you really like him, then do the honorable and moral thing and stop the communication/friend stuff.

Well I'm sorry but I can't stop. I mean if he tells me to stop then I will, but I don't see that coming anytime soon. I like him too much at this point. He's sweet and funny and caring. I will wait for him. I don't plan on moving our relationship into any new levels before I graduate.

I think this teacher is a creep and you are dishonest and immature. Keep this up, he will get fired and you will be mad at others instead of yourself. We are trying to get you to see this is not a good situation. Maybe he wants to get in your pants. If you think he is going to keep you around for two years, you are really naïve. Personally, I hope you run your mouth too much and he gets caught. It will serve you both right. You are old enough to know better and he certainly should.

Well I'm sorry but I can't stop. I mean if he tells me to stop then I will, but I don't see that coming anytime soon. I like him to much at this point. He's sweet and funny and caring. I will wait for him. I don't plan on moving our relationship into any new levels before I graduate.
He is either stupid or leading you on and you are behaving like a selfish teen.

I think this teacher is a creep and you are dishonest and immature. Keep this up, he will get fired and you will be mad at others instead of yourself. We are trying to get you to see this is not a good situation. Maybe he wants to get in your pants. If you think he is going to keep you around for two years, you are really naive. Personally, I hope you run your mouth too much and he gets caught. It will serve you both right. You are old enough to know better and he certainly should.

Wow, this website is supposed to be helpful. Not being judged by rude people who have never been in the situation and don't understand what they are talking about. Thanks for answering my question =)

He is either stupid or leading you on and you are behaving like a selfish teen.

Well not to burst your bubble but I am a selfish teen. C:

I think this teacher is a creep and you are dishonest and immature.
I see major grooming going on. I'm betting I will be reading about this in my daily newspaper someday.

I see major grooming going on. I'm betting I will be reading about this in my daily newspaper someday.

Oh would you get off your uptight and calm down. Nothing will or is happing between me and my teacher. Im making a poll. And quite frankly you people are very rude and judgmental. I picture you as a person who would encourage someone to kill themselves. And even give them the extra push.

Wow, this website is supposed to be helpful. Not being judged by rude people who have never been in the situation and don't understand what they are talking about. Thanks for answering my question =)
We are being helpful, you are just not liking what we're telling you. You are playing a foolish game with a foolish teacher who needs to be fired, in my opinion.
You want us to tell you that this guy likes you and will wait for you to grow up. That's not going to happen because we do understand the situation enough to know better.

We are being helpful, you are just not liking what we're telling you. You are playing a foolish game with a foolish teacher who needs to be fired, in my opinion.
You want us to tell you that this guy likes you and will wait for you to grow up. That's not going to happen because we do understand the situation enough to know better.

You know the situation from the outside. And who give a craap what I do. I can fluck him if I want. And maybe I will get pregnant and have an abortion and then go kill a baby goat and have a satanic ritual! Maybe if you'd like I can invite you and your family! You soul sucker.

Oh would you get off your uptight and calm down. Nothing will or is happing between me and my teacher. Im making a poll. And quite frankly you people are very rude and judgmental. I picture you as a person who would encourage someone to kill themselves. And even give them the extra push.
Your age and immaturity is coming through loud and clear. You have no clue what kind of a mess you are in. You won't listen to sound advice either. It will be interesting to hear what happens with this story in a few months.

Your age and immaturity is coming through loud and clear. You have no clue what kind of a mess you are in. You won't listen to sound advice either. It will be interesting to hear what happens with this story in a few months.

Hmm its funny how you think I should be mature when I'm only 16! I haven't even had a job. And heck yes I'm immature and I love it and looks like my teacher don't mind either ;)

She thinks he likes me more than an average student. And thinks that sometime he has a little too much interest in me. She warns me that if it gets out of hand she will call the school. But I don't plan on telling her anymore. She doesn't even know about the trip.

I go with what your moms says. Instead of being a dumb selfish teen ager, carried away by her feelings, you should listen to your mom. Everyone here has said he is wrong, yet you argue with all the adults and hide things from your mom?

That's wrong too!!

I go with what your moms says. Instead of being a dumb selfish teen ager, carried away by her feelings, you should listen to your mom. Everyone here has said he is wrong, yet you argue with all the adults and hide things from your mom?

That's wrong too!!!!!!!!!

Well what can I say I'm just a typical selfish immature child. Who won't except help from no one. I guess I will just die :)

You know the situation from the outside. And who give a craap what I do. I can fluck him if I want. And maybe I will get pregnant and have an abortion and then go kill a baby goat and have a satanic ritual! Maybe if you'd like I can invite you and your family! You soul sucker.
You are very immature. You don't want advice, you want someone to tell you what you want to hear. Go talk to one of your teen friends, then have her run her mouth and your mother will find out what you are up to.
There are plenty of people who really want help. You don't.

Oh would you get off your uptight and calm down. Nothing will or is happing between me and my teacher. Im making a poll. And quite frankly you people are very rude and judgmental. I picture you as a person who would encourage someone to kill themselves. And even give them the extra push.
Actually, no, that's not true at all. I just hate to see someone not only mess up her own life but also mess up someone else's in the process. I've been a teacher and had male students crush on me, but I knew better than to encourage them. I've known library patrons and counseling clients who made passes at library staff and counselors, but thankfully nothing came of it because the library staff and counselors remembered and took seriously the ethics they had been taught.

You are very immature. You don't want advice, you want someone to tell you what you want to hear. Go talk to one of your teen friends, then have her run her mouth and your mother will find out what you are up to.
There are plenty of people who really want help. You don't.

I am immature. But you are a grown adult who is judging a child. Way to go on being a human.


Actually, no, that's not true at all. I just hate to see someone not only mess up her own life but also mess up someone else's in the process. I've been a teacher and had male students crush on me, but I knew better than to encourage them. I've known library patrons and counseling clients who made passes at library staff and counselors, but thankfully nothing came of it because the library staff and counselors remembered and took seriously the ethics they had been taught.

Sorry I have no reason to be rude to you. You are one of the few that were semi polite while answering.

Sorry I have no reason to be rude to you. You are one of the few that were semi polite while answering.
I've ALWAYS been polite to you and worry that you are sliding downhill too fast to stop. I would say the same things to my own kids that I have said to you.

Hmm its funny how you think I should be mature when I'm only 16! I haven't even had a job. And heck yes I'm immature and I love it and looks like my teacher don't mind either ;)

Of course he doesn't mind. He can get his kicks from you because you are not mature enough to see what he's doing. People like that go after girls like you.

I've ALWAYS been polite to you and worry that you are sliding downhill too fast to stop. I would say the same things to my own kids that I have said to you.

OK well I really do like him. And you seem to be helpful so, if I want to be with him should I just stop my talking now and wait till after I graduate and begin talking to him again? Or should I try to forget him forever. Which I really don't want to do, but I'd like to hear your opinion.

I am immature. But you are a grown adult who is judging a child. Way to go on being a human.
I am not judging you, I am telling you the truth and you don't want to hear the truth. You don't like the advice so you become rude and snarky. That is being immature. You are a child playing an adult game with another adult. This does not favor a good outcome.

OK well I really do like him. And you seem to be helpful so, if I want to be with him should I just stop my talking now and wait till after I graduate and begin talking to him again? Or should I try to forget him forever. Which I really don't want to do, but I'd like to hear your opinion.
Leave the man alone until you are out of school and 18. Tell him to stop messaging you and no more paying for your classes. This means no more texting talking, anything.

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