PinkHurtz
Aug 5, 2013, 04:00 PM
Duringthe last 6 or so months of my senior year I ending up slowly falling for this girl in my class, she had walked in one day random to my class and I said "Hi". Slowly we talked more and messaged each for the next few months. Eventually prom came up and I had this problem where I had said say to another girl but regreted it right away because I really wanted to ask the other girl I really liked, it bothered me for days. Day before prom I dumped her and asked the girl I really wanted to go with know that we had mutual feelings and wasn't so happy anout the other girl sitution. Luckily she said yes to me and we went. Had a great night. After that night we became a couple. It's been about 3 months and we've never had a problem and spent great days together and the feeling grew between us quick. Couple of weeks ago she sprung something on me, she said we needed a break and need to focus on somethigs in her life and felt she needed to do it alone. I gave her some space, knowing she had te air force coming up and such. Later that week she called me to talk a bit more. During the phone call she told me she loved me and wanted to be with me but felt that she couldn't commit to me yet. She knew that it wasn't just a relationship, but was becoming something serious. I'm her first serious relationship, from what I know too her first love but feels like she needs to meet new people before she can really appreciate me, which I believe because she wasn't so good at the whole relationship thing and showing emotion. Her words, she doesn't have anything to compare it too. She doesn't want to go down the road with me and then down the road regret doing something. She hates to feel regret. I can't stand it though, for her to love me and me love her but not be together. I love this girl and know for a fact she's my soulmate & I believe everyword she says because I know how she is and won't say what she doesn't mean. Yesterday after not seeing each for 2 weeks we hung out again. We walked. Ate. I went inside her house for abit. We talked. We knew this would be the last time we'd see each other for awhile. Had one last kiss and said goodbye. And yes, I did cry a bit during the hug. Walked home to message from her askig if I was safe and that was it. Idk what's going to happen with us now. I'll go on in life and meet others if the near future holds nothing for us and continue what I do, but it's so damn hard. I can't stand the thought of her with another man. It should be me that puts a smile on her face and makes her feel good. I'm willing to put my love on lockdown for her but I don't want to wait. I want her but know I can't force her.