My ex husband has told me that he will sign his rights away and walk out of my boys' lives if I pay him $100,000. Is this extortion? Can I legally do something about this?

Get over it... seriously... its the kids who suffer most.

First off... the only way anyone is signing away any rights is in conjunction with an Adoption proceeding.

He's got the right to be in their lives... and you really can't do anything about it.

Only a court could do it.. and unless he's on the FBI's top ten most wanted list... its unlikely they would... and even if he was... its unlikely they would terminate them.

An adoption proceeding would take place. Now what?

I am not saying he can't be. He doesn't want to be. What do I do with a dad who does not want to be in their lives?

An adoption proceeding would take place. Now what?

You would have to be married to your new husband most places... and even then the birth father would have to be willing to do it... and its pretty rare they (the Adoption court) would do it without his blessing.

I assume he's not in prison for some heinous crime crimes against humanity or children or anything.

But once the adoption prcess is completed... he would no longer have any legal parental rights of any type to that child.

Are you saying that your new husband wants to adopt your children, but your ex refuses to sign unless you pay him off?

My new husband does want to adopt them but it was never brought up with my ex. I don't think he has thought about that. All he is thinking about is the money at this point.

As noted, he can't sign over his rights. However, he can agree to relinquish his rights in favor of your husband if your husband is willing to adopt.

If the bio father tries to extort money to relinquish his rights, tell your attorney (you need an attorney to process the adoption) and they will handle it. It should be impressed on the bio father, that, by agreeing to the adoption, he will no longer be responsible for child support.

That is my whole question... he is trying to extort money to relinquish his rights. Isn't that against the law? What will the court do about it? I do have an attorney, but in no way do I have $100,000!

Can you prove it? This may not rise to the level of criminal extortion, but the Family court is not going to like it. If you can prove it to the judges, they will probably just terminate his rights.

Oh Yes I have it in emails... several times he has posted to give him this amount and he will walk away.

So why haven't you told your attorney? A child is not an object that one can "sell" and courts will take a dim view of his attempt to do so.

If you weren't trying to package the TPR with a step parent adoption, you would have difficulty getting the TPR. But I think if your attorney presents the court with proof that he is attempting to "sell" your children, they will issue the TPR so your husband can adopt.

If you are not collecting child support tell him you will see him in court for that . That may change his tune.

When you showed the Police and the DA (ultimately) the extortion letter(s) what did they say?

My attorney is too busy for me so we are looking at other options.

We have not showed the police. What will they do? Our original court is in another town. Does that matter?

And I am collecting child support.

Then hire another attorney. Your attorney works for you. You don't pay him to ignore you.

We are doing that tomorrow. And contacting the district attorney as well.

By all means talk to the DA. But I doubt if this rises to the level of criminality. So I think the DA will decline to prosecute. Especially since, as I believe, the court will use the threats against him by approving the adoption.

"We have not showed the police. What will they do? Our original court is in another town. Does that matter? "

Scott and I are somewhat in disagreement here - extortion (which I believe this is) and child selling are against the law. You could not enter into a contract to govern an illegal transaction - $X in exchange for custody.

I think it's a Police matter.

Sounds like your Attorney will have to make that decision.

As Judy said, we are looking at this from different perspectives. I'm thinking that a DA will look at this as a civil custody matter and decline to prosecute. Judy is thinking it qualifies as criminal extortion and child selling.

Frankly it could go either way, which is why I encourage you to talk to a DA. I'm curious to see how it will go.

Well the DA says we need to file it with the police and it will be up to them to decide if they send it to the DA. We are now in the process to get another attorney and will ask them if they think we should speak to the police and also have them take it to court.

And yes the DA did think it would only be a civil case. That is why they said to go to the police. But if the police thought it should be sent on then that's their call. I am not sure what the police can do with this but ask him to stop?!

It's a crime in many States. Police don't ask people to stop. They charge them with a crime.

Of course, if the Police won't cooperate...

And yes the DA did think it would only be a civil case.

Extortion is a crime, I'm just not confident the police will see this as criminal extortion, but rather the jockeying that goes in a custody case.

I'm really interested to see how this plays out -

Extortion is a crime, I'm just not confident the police will see this as criminal extortion, but rather the jockeying that goes in a custody case.

I agree, police do not like to get involved in domestic disputes and usually say there is no crime until acted out beyond a seemingly idle threat,

Forget about trying to put your ex in jail because of what you think of as extortion.

That is like if I were to agree not to go to Mars this year if you agree to pay me $100,000. It's impossible for me to go to Mars, so the offer is nonsense.

Likewise, as others have told you, he cannot "sign over his rights" (absent adoption), so the "offer" is meaningless.

"That is like if I were to agree not to go to Mars this year if you agree to pay me $100,000. It's impossible for me to go to Mars, so the offer is nonsense."

- and it's impossible for the father to come up with the $100,000?

What did I miss in the back and forth?

I had a Police Officer tell me this is extortion. I will see if he can find the law.

Did this question ever turn into a Friday night roundtable discussion. Attorneys believe it's child selling. Others believe it's a lot of talk.

Arguments on both sides of the table from Police Officers.

Everyone pretty much agreed it's not extorton.

One of the best questions ever - but still don't have a conclusive answer.

...I had a Police Officer tell me this is extortion. I will see if he can find the law.

And he is under the impression that one can "sign away" parental rights too?

Tell the officer to read the sticky (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/signing-over-rights-read-first-116098.html).

And he is under the impression that one can "sign away" parental rights too?

Tell the officer to read the sticky (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/signing-over-rights-read-first-116098.html).

In this case, because it's to clear the way for adoption, he could.

Just not for money. As a birthparent, it was made perfectly clear to me that adoptive parents could pay for my expenses relating to the pregnancy and birth, and could pay my legal fees, but I could not profit from allowing my child to be adopted. Asking for money for myself was baby-selling, and I could spend time in prison for it.

I'm betting this is how the whole "waive the back payment" thing works too.

"And he is under the impression that one can "sign away" parental rights too?

Tell the officer to read the sticky."

No, he's under the impression that the question involves "signing away rights" to enable an adoption because it is my impression that that's what the OP is asking.

You aren't under that same impression? You think it's about "signing off" and walking away, no adoption?

And to add what Synnen has said - adoptive parents can also pay living expenses for the birth mother. That isn't child selling.

And I bow to "Syn's" knowledge/expertise.

An adoption proceeding would take place. Now what?

Sorry, forget what I wrote. I mis-read this passage from page 1 and thought an adoption was not in the works.

And of course Synnen is correct. Repayment of expenses is not "child selling".