Hi , I'm 15 and there's this guy who I've been dating for a year and 5 months (: We recently had a little break up but that didn't separate us at all. It actually made us A LOT closer and all, but now we're back on our let's get back together routine . Of course I'm super happy that my first love is asking to be back with me but he's asking me to prove and show that I truly love him. What do I do? I already told him in person how I felt, I made him posters, I've gone out and about but he still says prove it or show me. HELP!

Seriously, sounds like HE is the one with the issues and his insistence on these silly games just proves it.

You need to look deeper into matters and why he is making these childish demands.
I know you are both children, but you can't prove the intangible...

Seriously, sounds like HE is the one with the issues and his insistence on these silly games just proves it.

You need to look deeper into matters and why he is making these childish demands.
I know you are both children, but you can't prove the intangible...

So what are you saying I should do ?

Tell HIM to stop playing silly games with you.

What if I say that and it causes an argument

Than he clearly doesn't have the same feelings for you and isn't worth your time or effort..

Honestly that's how I feel some times but then I see him and its like it all goes aways and its only me and him in our ownlittle world :/

Maybe he is trying to get you to have sex with him, and that is no proof of love. He sounds like an immature creep.
Tell him he either believes or he doesn't. Why did you break up in the first place?

@homegirl50
We broke up because his ex which was my "friend" told him I cheated and told me he cheated so we got in an argument and broke up but I mean we still talked and everything than 2days later he came over and we talked about it in person

At 15 Its sex, when the sex wears off Its do this do that, by the time you live together Its about walking on eggshells doing what he likes. Then Its picking up after him. It never ends, gets more demanding and you lose YOU along the way. People that want you to orove yourself always want more and are self centered. You won't see it at first. So he makes you melt when you see him; go window shopping instead! When the chase wears off and grows old and rusty you will be asking what did I get myself into!

@ N0help4u

But if its sex why hasn't he ever tried it before ? Like he's had a year and 5months and barley tries it now ?

Why don't you ask him what it is he wants you to do to prove your love, then you'll have your answer.
He breaks up with you because his ex and your so called friend says you cheat and two days later you're back together, this is very immature stuff.
Like I said before he either believes you or he doesn't. If he wants more proof he needs to get lost and grow up.

Ask him what it is he wants you to do to prove love. Let me know and I can give you a good come back. But whether Its sex or washing his dirty laundry any guy that says proves is cause for alarm.

Trust me I've asked plenty of times and all he says is that's for you to prove to me .
And @ homegirl50 sorry that you think my relationship is immature.

I said he is immature and he is. The whole break up and prove your love to me thing is immature. As long as you are nice to this guy and respectful you are proving your love for him. If he can't see or understand that he is immature and you need to leave him alone. There will always be something wrong and he will always be asking for more.

And how does he "prove" his love to you?

You are 15, of course it's immature, and so is his wanting you to prove your love for him. Its an immature ploy to see how far you will go to keep him. This silly game is not love, it's a power struggle to get more than you can or want to give and if you fall for it, as you already have, he will ask for even more proof instead of appreciating what you have already done.

Maybe you cannot see the bad points of this because he is your first love, but because he is young and immature, and selfish, that doesn't mean YOU have to be. You found out that being friends with his conniving ex was a bad idea, and now you will find that taking silly crap from a first love is too. Yes its silly immature selfish crap, and that's not love, or caring is it?

I know, your heart wants what it wants but what does your brain say? First love or not, protect yourself from this selfish immature kid.

Power struggle-----BINGO!

I don't think mature people in a mature relatonship prove their love by either making or receiving posters (expressing that love).

You're in the relationship with him - ask him what he's talking about. I think he enjoys keeping you confused, off balance, guessing.

I don't think mature people in a mature relatonship prove their love by either making or receiving posters (expressing that love).

I'm thinking a parade and marching bands or maybe bags of confetti released from the ceiling?

Do this:

Tell him that he's an idiot.

Tell him he needs to prove he loves you.

Tell him he's an idiot.


Seriously though... he's an idiot. You should never have to prove to anyone that you love them. The fact that you are scared that this may cause an argument shows me that he has you under his control... you feel you need to do this to keep everything peaceful and happy. You don't need to do this. If you are worried about causing an issue by not "proving" your love, then he is not worth your time.

I also agree with others... he wants sex. He told you to decide what you want to do but everything you did for him wasn't good enough... he's playing a game with you and until you can realize that a partner that respects you will not do such things, he will continue to do so.

You think he's 15 and he isn't :b I'm 15 he's 18 .

Ya'll think he's 15 and he isn't :b I'm 15 he's 18 .
That makes it even scarier. He is grooming you for sex and a life under his thumb.

Yep that's worse yet. And depending on your state law his proof may land him in jail.

"Ya'll think he's 15 and he isn't :b I'm 15 he's 18 ."

No, I'all think you're 15 acting like a 15 year old and he's 18 acting like a 15 year old. I think you are missing our points.

He's 18 and you gave him a poster to prove your love?

Where are your parents in this?

Maybe because poster giving is what's in right now . And thank you very much but my parents passed away in a car accident I live with my cousin who's 20 so she isn't much help .

Like he said you haven't figured it out. You haven't figures it out because you aren't thinking like an 18 year old male.

Thanks for the added information. He is definitely taking advantage of your young age, lack of guidance and support, and feelings for him, mostly your fear of losing him.

Protect yourself.

This guy is trying to get you to have sex with him. He is taking advantage of you and you need to leave him alone. This is bad news.

Proving it, is what older boys says, to get you to have sex. All he wants is sex and is saying if you don't have sex with him, you don't love him.

This is what they all say, nothing unsual about it.

And say if I want to just have sex with him how will that affect us ? Or me ? Is it a wrong thing ? Like after that long of us being together I think its time but how will it affect us ?

It stands a good chance of turning your life , your Baby's life,
And everyone around you into shambles.

There is no fool proof way of not getting pregnant except not having sex.
At 15 you are not ready. At 18 he should know better than to pressure you about sex unless he is selfish and immature and does not really care about you. If he did he would not act the way he does.

Sex does not prove love. Honest caring and concern for each other is a good indicator. He does not show this.

He isn't pressuring me though...

A lot of guys say they respect a girl more for waiting. A lot of times when guys get you to bed Its all downhill because they got what they wanted. There is a saying 'Why buy the cow when the milk is free.'

He isn't pressuring me though ...

Naw, no pressure just prove you love him. The oldest line in the book for guys to get in a girls pants and the only proof he will accept.

How did that poster idea work out for you?

Of course he is pressuring you, that is the entire "prove it" he is wanting you to say it is your idea

36 posts later my suspicions are confirmed - "And say if I wanna just have sex with him how will that affect us ?" So much for creating posters.

It's a sign of your level of maturity that you can't understand why sex and pregnancy at 15 are a very bad idea.

Be prepared for hearing a lot of "if you love me/want to "keep" me/want to be my girlfriend" you'll have sex with me if you're an average looking woman who dates.

He isn't pressuring me though ...

Sure he is. This is what all of this "prove your love for me" mess is about.
This guy is manipulating you and I'd venture to say if you get pregnant, he will be gone. You are not ready for sex or motherhood and this guy is in my opinion a jerk. You don't need a boyfriend or sex, you need an adult who is looking out for you and your best interest, who is aware of your dating this 18 year old.

And say if I wanna just have sex with him how will that affect us ? Or me ? Is it a wrong thing ? Like after that long of us being together I think its time but how will it affect us ?

Where are you? It could affect both of you pretty well if he goes to jail for having sex with you.



He isn't pressuring me though ...

LMAO!! That's what this whole "prove" thing is all about! You are being pressured, you just are too naïve to see it.

I am concerned legally on several levels - a 20 year old cousin has custody of this 15 year old; the boyfriend has "come over" to the house to talk to her about their break up and reconciliation (so the cousin knows); OP can't see she's being groomed; boyfriend is apparently quite careful not to SAY "have sex with me or I'm leaving," which I suspect he THINKS means sex will be her suggestion and/on consensual (and, of course, he's wrong and will still go to jail).

Many warning signs -

Naw, no pressure just prove you love him. The oldest line in the book for guys to get in a girls pants and the only proof he will accept.

How did that poster idea work out for you?

The poster idea he loved and it was even more cuter because it wasn't just me and one poster . It was me and like 8friensa and we all had posters

Of course he liked the poster but you still got a long way to go.

The poster idea he loved and it was even more cuter because it wasnt just me and one poster . It was me and like 8friensa and we all had posters

So why is he asking for more? Ask him what else he wants and if he has no ideas, tell him to trust you and stop this silly childish game!!

It's demeaning and cruel.

That's ridiculous if he trusts you than there's no need of him asking for your prove!
You should first get to know if he trusts you or not if he trusts you than why would he tell you to prove him! (he might be believing the chaeting thing your friend told him,that's why he's asking,maybe)

I thinking he knows she didn't cheat.He's trying to get in her pants and have it be all her idea.

I thinking he knows she didn't cheat.He's trying to get in her pants and have it be all her idea.

Yep It's a reverse psychological trick.

And she's eating it all up because no matter what we say, she is going to do what she wants anyway... or I mean... what he wants.

And she's eating it all up because no matter what we say, she is going to do what she wants anyway....or I mean....what he wants.
... because she loves him and wants to keep him in her life because he is so worth it.

... he is the best thing that ever happened to her.

We've heard it all before, haven't we?

...he is the best thing that ever happened to her.

We've heard it all before, haven't we?
Don't forget the part about his being so mature and so much fun to be with.

2 babies later, 5 guys later,. and then number 6 they still don't see the full picture.

2 babies later, 5 guys later, ........and then number 6 they still don't see the full picture.
And then an appearance on the Steve Wilkos or Jerry Springer show.

And then DNA testing on MAURY's show

And then DNA testing on MAURY's show
And then she will check in with Dr Phil who will say, "What were you THINKing???" and "How was that working for you?"

I hope the OP comes to realize how the effects of this crush can escalate and knock her off her pins,

Cough - did OP answer how a 20 year old who knows about the relationship got custody of a 15 year old - and the other things I asked?

... no... why would she answer such a thing? This is about her trying to prove to her wonderful and caring boyfriend how much she loves him! She needs to prove it or she may lose him forever!

Rude.

We talked about it and if I do get pregnant than he's staying . Even if I don't he's staying.

... well, unless he's in jail... or maybe changes his mind.

Right now you think you have all the answers. Everyone your age does. I did when I was your age. We get older and realize we didn't really know and we made many mistakes because of it. Some mistakes not too bad and others pretty bad. One day you will realize we were right but I hope it isn't because what you are going to do turns out to be one of the major mistakes in your life.

We might have been a little "rude" in trying to make a point to you but you don't seem to understand what we are trying to tell you... and that we do care and are trying to keep you from being used by him and regretting your decision. You think it will all work out... he said he will stay... do you really think he will tell you he is going to leave? Guys do this all the time... You don't want to hear it and you will do what you will do... I just hope it doesn't have negative consequences for you.

The thing that confuses me the most... you came here asking what to do and you were told honestly... but you didn't care to hear it... so why ask in the first place?

Good luck.

...well, unless he's in jail....or maybe changes his mind.

Right now you think you have all the answers. Everyone your age does. I did when I was your age. We get older and realize we didn't really know and we made many mistakes because of it. Some mistakes not too bad and others pretty bad. One day you will realize we were right but I hope it isn't because what you are going to do turns out to be one of the major mistakes in your life.

We might have been a little "rude" in trying to make a point to you but you don't seem to understand what we are trying to tell you...and that we do care and are trying to keep you from being used by him and regretting your decision. You think it will all work out....he said he will stay....do you really think he will tell you he is going to leave? Guys do this all the time....You don't want to hear it and you will do what you will do....I just hope it doesn't have negative consequences for you.

The thing that confuses me the most....you came here asking what to do and you were told honestly....but you didn't care to hear it.....so why ask in the first place?

Good luck.

I came here for ADVICE. And yes I am taking in consideration everything you been telling me but why can't you for once listen to me ? Like OK , tell me not but you were young once and you had a person who made you feel above and beyond.. out of every one in my life he's the ONLY person who makes me feel like Im actually meant to be here and its hard when your barely 15 with one younger sister and no grandparents or anyone but mainly your cousin who her self is still enjoying being young . Losing him would suck ! When I fell in depression because my parents and older sister passed guess who was there for me , next to me the whole way ? Exactly. HIM . Not my cousin . But HIM.

But if she thinks he's the right one for her,than why is she having doubts??
If she thinks she can trust him than she should do what her heart states..!

but if she thinks he's the right one for her,than why is she having doubts???
if she thinks she can trust him than she should do what her heart states...!!

Well spoken by another teen who has a family behind her to guide and support her. You can't follow YOUR heart, and make mistakes because YOUR parents won't let you. Following your heart without guidance and support and boundaries, AND protection is a disaster for teens, and for adults alike.


I came here for ADVICE. And yes I am taking in consideration everything ya'll been telling me but why can't you for once listen to me ? Like ok , tell me not but you were young once and you had a person who made you feel above and beyond .. outta every one in my life he's the ONLY person who makes me feel like Im actually ment to be here and its hard when your barely 15 with one younger sister and no grandparents or anyone but mainly your cousin who her self is still enjoying being young . Losing him would suck ! When I fell in depression because my parents and older sister passed guess who was there for me , next to me the whole way ? Exactly. HIM . Not my cousin . But HIM.

I can understand the intensity of your gratitude for this fellow, as we all need someone to lean on in troubled times, and your situation is greatly magnified with the tragedies you have endured at such a young age. But while you are stuck figuring how to prove your love you must also give thought to protecting your own interests and standing up for your own future.

I know its scary facing life without him, and even thinking of him leaving, but older wiser people are just telling you that him asking you to prove your love to him is a big red flag that something isn't right here with him, and you better pay attention, before you make a BIG mistake.

He may not even know he is doing the wrong thing because he is young himself, so I guess you have to think what's best for the BOTH of you. Now that's worth considering isn't it? His thinking maybe OFF, because you have to prove yourself after all this time because of other things besides YOUR actions.

Its NOT right, nor is it healthy, and may hurt you both.

"I came here for ADVICE. And yes I am taking in consideration everything ya'll been telling me but why can't you for once listen to me ? Like ok , tell me not but you were young once and you had a person who made you feel above and beyond .. outta every one in my life he's the ONLY person who makes me feel like Im actually ment to be here and its hard when your barely 15 with one younger sister and no grandparents or anyone but mainly your cousin who her self is still enjoying being young . Losing him would suck ! When I fell in depression because my parents and older sister passed guess who was there for me , next to me the whole way ? Exactly. HIM . Not my cousin . But HIM."


Yes, I was young "once" (as you so graciously put it). Yes, I certainly fell madly in love "when I was young."

The difference is I never traded my body for his love - I don't think that's much of an even exchange.

If he supports and loves you and will never, ever leave you (and I could post probably a thousand threads over the years from women who started with that same mindset and were very surprised when "he" moved on) why is he pressuring you for something which makes you so conflicted? People who love you don't pressure, don't encourage, you to do something which you do not 100
% want to do. I don't understand that part.

So, now that you have my undivided attention, can you explain that to me?

I also still don't understand why a 20 year old has custody of you. I understand your parents died. I understand your sister died. I understand that you are/were depressed and there was no one, absolutely no one, there "for you" except for this person. Why is that? Where was/is everyone else?

Did you seek counselling for your depression?

Depression can come and go. Sex is not a quick fix - sex isn't even a slow fix

And as far as what sucks and what doesn't suck, I'm a widow. I know about losing and how unfair life can be and what sucks and doesn't suck. You don't own that territory.

But, back to the basics - people who love you don't pressure you to do something if you aren't 100% on board with it.

And just wondering - why didn't you post that he was asking you for sex to prove your love at the very beginning? Why did we have to wade through post after post of how you prove your love (and that includes making posters for an almost adult) before we got to the truth?

If you were comfortable with the idea of sex with this person to prove anything I think you would have been more up front.

I'm also interested in why you and your younger sibling were given to a 20 year old. That does not sound right to me.

If someone cares for you, and knowing all you have been through, they would not be pressuring you to prove your love. That is a very selfish and immature request.

I understand your loneliness, but this is a negative situation. This guy should not be asking you to prove anything.

As a mother - all right, stepmother - my concern would be after you prove your love by having sex with him, he feels "uncertain of your love" a second time, he thinks you've cheated (whatever form that takes), what is the next step in "proving your love" and holding on to him? Three somes? Shoplifting? Sex with his friend(s)?

I very well remember the NYC casting coaches - I certainly had friends who participated. They didn't get jobs... but they certainly got an opportunity to take things one step higher (or lower) up the ladder to "prove" how much they wanted the job. I don't see the difference.

When you body becomes a bargaining chip you are going to lose self respect.

And when you break up and it's posted all over FB and the Internet, what then?

We tell you these things because you need to hear the truth, but you do not want to listen.

We tell you these things because after almost 20 years of answering questions on boards like this, we have had 1000s of girls come "after they had sex" not understanding why the boy left, after they proved it. Or that the boy left after she got a STD or after she got pregnant.

We want you to have a better life than what happened to these other girls.

And yes any and I mean any man who says this to a young girl, is just wanting sex and it is a way to try to force her to do it.