worriedDADof2
Jul 6, 2013, 08:42 PM
I split with my ex g/f in sept of last yr, and for the last 10 months we have had verbal and comfortable arrangements for accommodation and I have never stopped her from seeing the kids, about Tuesday of last week she picked them up from school early, hasn't taken them back, turned up at my doorstep with 2 police officers demanding my child's medication and clothes, and has since stopped me seeing my children. The night she appeared with the police, an arrangement was made for me to meet them down the park the next day so that I could see my kids, but she threw it in my face, I received a text saying she wanted a neutral party present, so I arranged to meet at "her" local police station so I could see my kids. She then text me 45 minutes after I was waiting at the station, saying that I couldn't see my kids until I had a letter from her solicitor, she has refused me to see them for 4 days now, and I don't think il get to see them any time soon, I also have heath worried concerning my daughter, as my ex works and leaves them in care of a 50+ yr old woman. My daughter has health conditions that require someone to be upstairs EXTREMELY quickly to make sure she doesn't choke on her own vomit or phlegm, her chest conditions include asthma, and high production of phlegm and mucus, the same problems I have, but to a considerably worse extent. She is on medication called montelukast chewable, as well as her asthma pump/nebuliser . Every few nights she will have to evacuate the phlegm and mucus from her chest, there is no regular time for this to happen, if it is not helped and it is cleared, she vomits, as she has had the condition for most of her life, she has gotten used to the fact that she is prone to being sick, she has come to grips with that face that she has an unhealthy chest, but still won't wake herself up so that she doesn't choke to death on her own bodily fluids. She has had this condition from a very young age, and is now only 5. my ex has lived at an unknown address for maybe 6 months, possibly less and I split from her mid sept last year, she has made no attempt to take custody since the split, until removing them from school early on tues 2nd July and hasn't taken them in since, an attendance officer has already spoken to my ex regarding this on Friday, but I still don't know if the ill even take them to school, or maybe even changing schools. The reason she had police with her was because she "believed" that the house that they have lived in for the last 3 yrs was unsuitable for children to live in, all under false accusations, within presence of 2 police officers, after accusations were made, the police looked around the house, and found no reason to notify social services or welfare, at worst they said I was a little untidy, and pointed out a few things, (stair rail not connected to was properly, which I have been chasing up my landlords agent for last 2 6-monthly visits, without success. Secondly with regards to a bit of washing up left on the side, sorry it was cheap week and was getting washig up liquid for the day after I haven't seen the kids since . According to info provided by my daughters school, she has tried telling them that I cannot see them at school or pick them up, and even tried calling a local contact centre to arrange it for there, there are no court orders or residential orders involved, so I really don't know where I stand... if everything goes through a solicitor then I'm even more worried that I won't be able to see my kids for months.
Rounded up as brief as possible, I believe my daughters health to be at risk, due to the 50+yr old landlady of my ex's, I believe to be nowhere as mobile as what I think she needs to be, to be able to save my daughter from choking to death on her own mucus and vomit, also where my children are staying, the landlady owns a senile cat that urinates over anything fabric/clothing, Urine contains ammonia, and ammonia is well known for hindering the human respiratory systems efficiency, and therefore is a considerable threat to my daughters health and wellbeing. The land lady has other children over, which I also believe she would worry about the general needs of her grandkids, instead of my daughters health concerns, I'm also believing that she doesn't usually have the mother of the grandchildren staying there at the time. If my ex goes to work, and the landlady has to use bathroom, I believe my daughter to be at high risk of being hospitalised, or worse...
Whilst living at their family home, my kids always had 2 people here, when we split, I moved a friend in that I've known from school, that both kids know very well and trust, to help me keep the house running as smoothly as possible over the kids heads, and doing everything in out power towards making sure the kids get everything they need and want.
The main reason I have my friend here is so that there will always be 2 people here to rescue my daughter from choking to death on her own vomit and mucus, my daughter has been known to gag and throw up within a second or 2, and I honestly can't see a 50+ woman, whom of which I have been told that she may not be of very good motivation or mobility for stairs, therefore not being quick enough to save my daughters life, especially if she happens to be in the loo. At my daughters worst, I barely heard a muffled gag, ran upstairs and had to pull stringy phlegm vomit and mucus out of my daughters throat then dealing with an asthma attack that was induced by the mucus and phlegm
With all this happening, I have been to the doctors to try to get something to calm me down during the day, and something to help me sleep nights, this has devastated me with everything that has happened, since the removal of my kids from school as well as the denying me to see my kids without a court order, if she is applying for a court order, then it could be months before I could have the chance to see them again, and I really don't know if I could deal with it...
There was nothing that she had been saying to me whilst she was here spending what time she could be bothered seeing the kids, but also within this time, she had regularly made excuses to not see her kids when already arranged. Arrangements were broken with various excuses, like I can't be bothered because its raining, which she tried using twice, firstly, when arranged for her to come to my home to see them indoors.the second time she tried using it, I had already travelled into town mainly for kids to see her, I live next town north, it was raining, and the kids were in waterproofs, we had agreed that I would meet her at a park very close to hers... apparently, so I could worry about getting kids back to make sure they were warm and dry, then fed. Other excuses she used have all mainly fell to her "wanting a day off from the kids" (her words) which sometimes happened multiple times a week, usually a Sunday, when she started work, it changed, she has been working for maybe 3-4 weeks now, and after taking kids, has also said that she is quitting her job to take care of them, if she quits her job then the social won't pay her for ages due to her quitting her job,and then my worries will increase drastically more, due to her not being able to support my children.
The longest I have spent away from them is when she took them up to lincoln to see their grandmother on my ex's side, that lasted 6 weeks, and I was able to speak to both children as and when either I wanted to speak to them, or when they wanted to speak to me. As she has refused contact for days now, and is finding excuses to string it on longer, my fears of not seeing my children for what I could see as being months at worst, I'm being treated by doctor to help me calm the emotions I have been cursed with due to this incident, and also to help me sleep, I'm finding it harder and harder to spend time in my house, as every memory of this house has been with my children present and happy, with the children living in their own home and not restricted from seeing either parent whenever requested. My ex now has them in a house share that the kids don't even have free roam of that they what to do or play with...
My ex lacks what most people call common sense, roughly 2 years ago when I was still with the ex, we were crossing the road with kids in a double buggy (front/back loader, not side by side), I was on my pushbike, and the ex was pushing both kids in buggy, daughter in front, and son in back, Whilst crossing a B-road, she ignorantly walked out in front of a large lorry with trailer, and if I hadn't shouted 3 times at the top of my voice at her, at least my daughter wouldn't have any legs left,. or at worst, the whole buggy could have been dragged out of her hand, as the other was taken by her mobile phone.
I'm now also worried about the emotional and behavioral impact on my children.
Since splitting with my ex on 17th sept 2012, things have been hard, starting with the months without benefits whilst everything was getting changed over, and I did not receive the benefits I required until she closed her claim for child benefit. My son was a very hectic child and had some mild attitude and behavior issues, nothing medically diagnosed, but enough to think about how I could improve it,this never worked as the routine that we agreed upon, my ex never followed, but since the split, I managed to advance his verbal communication skills to understand how he was expected to behave, he has calmed down amazingly, he is able to take no for an answer without throwing a tantrum. He now goes to preschool, never behaves badly, and usually even remembers his manners, as before he would just scream and shout. The routine that I have worked on for the last 10 months has gone right out the window, and the ex taking them out of school for the last 4 days has also had the attendance officer of the school speak to her.
The times that I have had contact with her in the last few days has been very scarce, she won't answer my calls, she won't give me her solicitors company name so that I can speak to them directly and speed everything up, and every attempt I have made to arrange to se my kids, has been thrown back in my face,
She now, instead of taking this the mature way and trying to explain that she had worried with me, has tried involving welfare and making things sound worst by tenfold. Police had nothing that was of concern for the kids, and just asked that having 2 blokes living under the same house, as well as 2 kids, that no matter our standards, we needed to be a bit tidier, and less cluttered, and to wire wool limescale off the toilet below the waterline... I cannot see how any of this would give any sane person a reason to take 2 kids out of their comfortable family home, to be put at risk in another house they can't even call home, and has a senile old cat that urinates over virtually any clothing and fabric that happens to be lying about. The ammonia in the cats urine will most certainly have an impact on my daughters mucus and phlegm problems as well as her asthma.
Please help me urgently, I'm distraught with worry and anxiousness
Any advice that would help me prevent her from stopping me seeing my kids, I just need to see my kids for now, but would like to have them back in their routines, and I know if I don't see them for months, then all the behavioral problems my son had, will come back with a vengeance, and my daughters health will deteriorate...
Rounded up as brief as possible, I believe my daughters health to be at risk, due to the 50+yr old landlady of my ex's, I believe to be nowhere as mobile as what I think she needs to be, to be able to save my daughter from choking to death on her own mucus and vomit, also where my children are staying, the landlady owns a senile cat that urinates over anything fabric/clothing, Urine contains ammonia, and ammonia is well known for hindering the human respiratory systems efficiency, and therefore is a considerable threat to my daughters health and wellbeing. The land lady has other children over, which I also believe she would worry about the general needs of her grandkids, instead of my daughters health concerns, I'm also believing that she doesn't usually have the mother of the grandchildren staying there at the time. If my ex goes to work, and the landlady has to use bathroom, I believe my daughter to be at high risk of being hospitalised, or worse...
Whilst living at their family home, my kids always had 2 people here, when we split, I moved a friend in that I've known from school, that both kids know very well and trust, to help me keep the house running as smoothly as possible over the kids heads, and doing everything in out power towards making sure the kids get everything they need and want.
The main reason I have my friend here is so that there will always be 2 people here to rescue my daughter from choking to death on her own vomit and mucus, my daughter has been known to gag and throw up within a second or 2, and I honestly can't see a 50+ woman, whom of which I have been told that she may not be of very good motivation or mobility for stairs, therefore not being quick enough to save my daughters life, especially if she happens to be in the loo. At my daughters worst, I barely heard a muffled gag, ran upstairs and had to pull stringy phlegm vomit and mucus out of my daughters throat then dealing with an asthma attack that was induced by the mucus and phlegm
With all this happening, I have been to the doctors to try to get something to calm me down during the day, and something to help me sleep nights, this has devastated me with everything that has happened, since the removal of my kids from school as well as the denying me to see my kids without a court order, if she is applying for a court order, then it could be months before I could have the chance to see them again, and I really don't know if I could deal with it...
There was nothing that she had been saying to me whilst she was here spending what time she could be bothered seeing the kids, but also within this time, she had regularly made excuses to not see her kids when already arranged. Arrangements were broken with various excuses, like I can't be bothered because its raining, which she tried using twice, firstly, when arranged for her to come to my home to see them indoors.the second time she tried using it, I had already travelled into town mainly for kids to see her, I live next town north, it was raining, and the kids were in waterproofs, we had agreed that I would meet her at a park very close to hers... apparently, so I could worry about getting kids back to make sure they were warm and dry, then fed. Other excuses she used have all mainly fell to her "wanting a day off from the kids" (her words) which sometimes happened multiple times a week, usually a Sunday, when she started work, it changed, she has been working for maybe 3-4 weeks now, and after taking kids, has also said that she is quitting her job to take care of them, if she quits her job then the social won't pay her for ages due to her quitting her job,and then my worries will increase drastically more, due to her not being able to support my children.
The longest I have spent away from them is when she took them up to lincoln to see their grandmother on my ex's side, that lasted 6 weeks, and I was able to speak to both children as and when either I wanted to speak to them, or when they wanted to speak to me. As she has refused contact for days now, and is finding excuses to string it on longer, my fears of not seeing my children for what I could see as being months at worst, I'm being treated by doctor to help me calm the emotions I have been cursed with due to this incident, and also to help me sleep, I'm finding it harder and harder to spend time in my house, as every memory of this house has been with my children present and happy, with the children living in their own home and not restricted from seeing either parent whenever requested. My ex now has them in a house share that the kids don't even have free roam of that they what to do or play with...
My ex lacks what most people call common sense, roughly 2 years ago when I was still with the ex, we were crossing the road with kids in a double buggy (front/back loader, not side by side), I was on my pushbike, and the ex was pushing both kids in buggy, daughter in front, and son in back, Whilst crossing a B-road, she ignorantly walked out in front of a large lorry with trailer, and if I hadn't shouted 3 times at the top of my voice at her, at least my daughter wouldn't have any legs left,. or at worst, the whole buggy could have been dragged out of her hand, as the other was taken by her mobile phone.
I'm now also worried about the emotional and behavioral impact on my children.
Since splitting with my ex on 17th sept 2012, things have been hard, starting with the months without benefits whilst everything was getting changed over, and I did not receive the benefits I required until she closed her claim for child benefit. My son was a very hectic child and had some mild attitude and behavior issues, nothing medically diagnosed, but enough to think about how I could improve it,this never worked as the routine that we agreed upon, my ex never followed, but since the split, I managed to advance his verbal communication skills to understand how he was expected to behave, he has calmed down amazingly, he is able to take no for an answer without throwing a tantrum. He now goes to preschool, never behaves badly, and usually even remembers his manners, as before he would just scream and shout. The routine that I have worked on for the last 10 months has gone right out the window, and the ex taking them out of school for the last 4 days has also had the attendance officer of the school speak to her.
The times that I have had contact with her in the last few days has been very scarce, she won't answer my calls, she won't give me her solicitors company name so that I can speak to them directly and speed everything up, and every attempt I have made to arrange to se my kids, has been thrown back in my face,
She now, instead of taking this the mature way and trying to explain that she had worried with me, has tried involving welfare and making things sound worst by tenfold. Police had nothing that was of concern for the kids, and just asked that having 2 blokes living under the same house, as well as 2 kids, that no matter our standards, we needed to be a bit tidier, and less cluttered, and to wire wool limescale off the toilet below the waterline... I cannot see how any of this would give any sane person a reason to take 2 kids out of their comfortable family home, to be put at risk in another house they can't even call home, and has a senile old cat that urinates over virtually any clothing and fabric that happens to be lying about. The ammonia in the cats urine will most certainly have an impact on my daughters mucus and phlegm problems as well as her asthma.
Please help me urgently, I'm distraught with worry and anxiousness
Any advice that would help me prevent her from stopping me seeing my kids, I just need to see my kids for now, but would like to have them back in their routines, and I know if I don't see them for months, then all the behavioral problems my son had, will come back with a vengeance, and my daughters health will deteriorate...