>Threads merged to keep all information on this subject in one place.<

I need some advice about a situation that I had hoped never would have occurred. As much as I tried to form a relationship with my mother after not having her around when I was young, she always ended up doing something that kept pushing me away little by little. First she had left my sister and I with our grandparents at 3 months. Our mom never came around. I of course got older and didn't really think about her much. Its like how are you going to miss something you never had.

As I was about to start high school my grandparents were not in the best of health. We all thought it was time for me to move in with my mom that I didn't even know. I knew she was my mom but I never got to know her in a mother daughter type of deal. As soon as I got there I knew things weren't going to be the same. It didn't take long before I saw my mother and step father so drunk. After a couple of days later they were still drinking. Things got out of hand and for the first time I witnessed a man hitting a women, and hitting my mother at that.

How old are you? Are you old enough to get out on your own? Do you have somewhere else to live? It doesn't sound like a good environment so if I were you I would get out of there asap. If she really wanted a mother/daughter relationship it seems things would be a little different. Sometimes its just best to spend some time sometimes with people rather than be immersed in their life.

Why did you even go to a live with women you did not know.

How old are you, answer is different if you are 15 or 20

Sorry I'm not sure what happened but my post went up unfinished. Im 29 years old but there's a lot more I didn't post. After I turned 18 I moved out. Didn't hear from her for years after I moved out. She wasn't there for my wedding nor the birth of my three children. I tried to contact her but never got a response so I left it alone. I then got a call from my sister telling me my mother had breast cancer. I didn't waste no time to get to her. I helped her as much as I could. She asked me if I could move in with her to make things easier. So me and my kids moved in took her to wherever she needed to go. She got her treatments and everything she had to do.

After six months and a lot of work she was cancer free. I thought that her and I had finally had a good relationship. I remember driving her home after they told her the good news. Out of the blue tells me I have a week to move out. She said she was going to be fine and no longer needed my help. I was so hurt but the kids and I moved out like she wanted. I was starting to just let her be. As much as I tried getting close to her I was always hitting a wall. She later send me a letter asking me if she could claim my kids on her taxes. I of course said no. She came over several times asking over and over until she gave up. She even told me I was selfish and that she didn't want me around. I just ignored her.

At that time I was dating my soon to be hubby. She did not like him for some reason. When I told her we were getting married and that I would very much want her there to share that day together, she just told me she would try to make it. My boyfriend got hurt at his job so he stayed at my house to recover. When my mother found out he was staying with us well lets just say she didn't take it to well. She didn't call me for three whole weeks which I thought she wanted to be left alone. What happened next was the deal breaker I was done with her. I got a vist from children protective services and they told me they had a report concerning the well being of my children and to top it off and that piece of information made me realize who made the report. On the paper she had made me sign there in bold letters it said suspected sexual abuse. And my boyfriends name was on that paper. I was beyond pissed. How dare she do this to us especially me. What kind of a person was she.

I demanded an explanation from her. She told me she needed to make sure my boyfriend wasn't a pervert. I at that moment knew she wasn't a good person to be around. I told her that I was done. I didn't want anything to do with her. This happened two months ago. The good thing is that cps closed my case. Honestly my kids and I do miss her but I got hurt too many times. I know she didn't want me around not back when I was a baby and not now that I'm an adult. I just hope by cutting all ties with her is the right thing to do.

I could cite a million reasons distancing yourself from this toxic, manipulative person is the right thing to do... but I won't. I'll just come right out and say, cutting ties with her is the right thing to do. You should not accept behavior from anyone - including family members - that you wouldn't tolerate from a stranger in the street.

That said, ask yourself, what will you do the next time she comes at you with a different tactic that throws you off? Will you fall for it, or will you hold to your conviction and realize that you're just being set up for another fall?

i could cite a million reasons why distancing yourself from this toxic, manipulative person is the right thing to do...but i won't. I'll just come right out and say, cutting ties with her is the right thing to do. You should not accept behavior from anyone - including family members - that you wouldn't tolerate from a stranger in the street.

That said, ask yourself, what will you do the next time she comes at you with a different tactic that throws you off? Will you fall for it, or will you hold to your conviction and realize that you're just being set up for another fall? I've asked myself that very question over and over. But she's done too much she even went that low in trying to destroy me family. The last time I faced her she told me not to disrespect her because she was my mother. I laughed and just left. I think I've had enough disappointment. Niw I understand why my grandparents didn't allow her to come near me.they knew she wasn't a good person to be around.

Regardless if she is a good person to be around or not. She is your mother. You'll only have one mother and when she dies you may regret cutting her off completely. However, there are boundaries that shouldn't be crossed. As long as you have strict boundaries, I think cutting your mother off completely may not be the best move.

regardless if she is a good person to be around or not. She is your mother. You'll only have one mother and when she dies you may regret cutting her off completely. However, there are boundaries that shouldn't be crossed. As long as you have strict boundaries, i think cutting your mother off completely may not be the best move. oh believe me when I did set some. But when something serious happens I of course help her out. And that's where she gets me

Regardless if she is a good person to be around or not. She is your mother. You'll only have one mother and when she dies you may regret cutting her off completely. However, there are boundaries that shouldn't be crossed. As long as you have strict boundaries, i think cutting your mother off completely may not be the best move.

This is one time I disagree, yeah she is her mother but being around a toxic relationship to where it destroys your life. No, be there for her when she really needs to be, but don't be so involved that it interferes with your life.

this is one time i disagree, yeah she is her mother but being around a toxic relationship to where it destroys your life. No, be there for her when she really needs to be, but don't be so involved that it interferes with your life. I don't know how many times she's hurt me but I know that if I stay strong and don't let her actions affect me. I really don't want to cut her off because everyone has left her and that's what my boyfriend and I disagree. Hes told me he'll support me on whatever I do. But I'm scared that she will tear my family apart.

I think cutting her completely from your life is the right thing to do for now. Maybe she will change in the future, maybe not, and I doubt she will.

What happened to the drunk stepfather?

I think cutting her completely from your life is the right thing to do for now. Maybe she will change in the future, maybe not, and I doubt she will.

What happened to the drunk stepfather? They're still together but stays in the background because she'll go off on him.

She is using you at her convenience. Next time she contacts you, you tell her before she can say anything that afyer that CPS stunt you are she can not be trusted and she needs to stay out of your life. You owe her

You owe her NOTHiNG!!

>Merged Thread<

I've posted an issue regarding my mother not to long ago. But here I am again asking for more advice to a different situation concerning my mother. I recently had a miscarriage and had to go to the emergency room due to a 103.2 fever. Doctors ran tests and concluded that I had a blood infection due to the miscarriage. After 3 days in the hospital my mother comes over to my house tells my daughter to tell me to go outside and talk to her. I wasn't feeling good at all, I couldn't stand up without feeling dizzy and my whole body ached. So I told my daughter to tell her if she could come inside because I wasn't feeling well enough to walk outside. I waited for her to come in but nothing happened. She just left without saying anything. She then goes off telling my sister that I totally ignored her and I had hurt her feelings. I wasn't even aware that she was upset with me. I would text her and she never replied, I didn't catch the red flags. My sister went off on me saying that's I had no right disrespecting our mother that way, and that I hurt her feelings really bad. I tried to explain to my sister what really happened but she didn't want to hear me out. She then went on saying how selfish I was and only came around when I needed something. After hearing that made me so angry because my mother would say the same thing about my sister. That she only came around when she needed something. What made things worse is that my mother got more upset because I didn't wish my 26 year old brother a happy birthday. I've never missed anyone's birthday nor missed any mothers or fathers day. Even if I couldn't go see them I always text or called wishing them a happy birthday or calling my mother on mother's day or calling my stepdad for father's day. When they had some event planned I was always there. My sister on the other hand always stayed away. Now being called selfish now that was not right. I was always there for my mother especially when she had breast cancer. I took her to her doctors appt. As for my sister Ive always been there for her as well. When she gave birth to her first baby I was there for three days feeding and changing her baby just so she could rest. Years later I moved in with her to help her with babysitting her boys. At that time her and her husband were separated and she was seeing other men. I remember one day her husband passed by and saw a man at her house. I knew if my sisters husband would find out she was seeing someone else he'd beat on her. So to avoid her getting hurt I told her husband the man was there for me. He told me off so bad even got spit on my face. I did it just to protect her. I've covered for her so many times and then she has the nerve to call me selfish. All this is my mother's doing, she took a simple misunderstanding into a big ordeal. Now she doesn't call me or text me she doesn't even respond to any of my text messages. My sister doesn't talk or text me either and when she does all she does is tell me off. I hate all this more because they don't even come see my kids or show any interest in them when my kids keep asking for them. I don't want to tell them what's going on because they're to young to understand. What should I do about all this. I try to talk to my sister but no matter what I say she still puts me down and curses at me. My mother doesn't contact me and when she passes by my home she acts like she doesn't even know me. All this has me depressed and its affecting my relationship.

Some of this sounds like my family - has it always been like this? These twisted relationships don't just come out of nowhere.

And I am sorry about the miscarriage. You have a lot on your plate right now.

Of course, your children are your first priority, very obviously, and that's good.

some of this sounds like my family - has it always been like this? These twisted relationships don't just come out of nowhere.

And i am sorry about the miscarriage. You have a lot on your plate right now.

Of course, your children are your first priority, very obviously, and that's good.
Oh yes always I didn't grow up with my sister nor mother we never interacted until I was in my late teens. But we've always had our differences. My sister and mother are more alike that's why they get along better. But when they get together they're bad. They always seem to have something to complain about me. They don't get in each others business but they are always in mine. They have to know what I doing.

oh yes always i didn't grow up with my sister nor mother we never interacted til i was in my late teens. But we've always had our differences. My sister and mother are more alike thats why they get along better. But when they get together they're bad. They always seem to have something to complain about me. They dont get in each others business but they are always in mine. They have to know what i doing. I'm ready to just throw in the towel and call it quits. Maybe its time for me to be a little selfish and only worry about my children and myself. This situation is just getting me emotionally drained and my children are getting affected. As much as I try to pretend
Everything is okay my kids can sense my emotional state.

You owe her NOTHiNG!!!
Thank u I have been keeping my distance but once again she's managed to trash my character