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View Full Version : Is he confused about 'us' and moving on, if he seems okay about our contact?


SooSad33
Jul 3, 2013, 06:48 PM
A month ago I split from my boyfriend because I accused him of seeing someone else. He's still denying it. I contacted him again after almost 2 weeks of NC. He has replied to most of my texts and he seemed happy to hear from me. He admitted he did miss me the time we didn't talk, was sad and confused. He said he does like to hear from me, has let me pour my heart out about my feelings for him without being told to shut up about it. In the last 2 weeks he's called me twice and came over.

With admitting he does like to hear from me still and that I'm NOT being a bother and all the above. I'm confused now as to whether he is totally wanting me out of his life, is he ready to move on and I don't think he's actually over me, especially enough to move on comfortably, with someone else. Like I said, he's admitted he is confused. He's not sure if he wants to continue or not- but I don't think he totally wants to let me go either? I do think it's a bit hard to throw 5 years of memories and feelings under the carpet in a month or two. Is not that easy to totally say goodbye to someone you've shared this much time with, I find. Is he ready to move on? I don't think so. I feel he's done a rebound. But I still get that deep down ache and sick feeling knowing what I'm up against right now!

If only I could turn back time and fix some things and do it right. I will just leave him be, I think, for the next few weeks and see IF he actually makes an attempt to contact me again. If not? Maybe he's made up his mind. Then I guess I'll have to respect this and leave him alone... it hurts!

Now I'm confused. Does it mean or seem like he really doesn't want me fully out of his life? Does he seem confused and NOT totally into this 'other gal'? IF he was, wouldn't he be avoiding me? Telling me to leave him alone etc. I wonder if when he gets back from his week holiday, maybe I should leave him alone and give some NC for rest of the month? Think that's best right now? Would it help things? Let him come to miss me a little, maybe?

I DO want him back. We were together 5 years and although he's said his feelings have changed a bit, I do believe he still has many for me. I'd say he still feels for me. I do hope he still cares enough to someday feel same as I do about 'Us" and want to come back.

N0help4u
Jul 3, 2013, 07:19 PM
You may have done too much damage accusing him. What things made you feel he was cheating? If you feel he was cheating why do you want him back? I think you need to quit playing guessing games and actually ask him to forgive you and ask him if there is any hope of getting back together. Right now you are just stringing things along.

none12345
Jul 3, 2013, 07:29 PM
You kept mentioning what he wants while you should be focusing on what you want. If you want him back, which I don't why you should want that because he is an indecisive man, then wait for him... you might end up getting hurt. If you don't want him in your life, then stick to the no contact and stop breaking it and move on with your life.

SooSad33
Jul 6, 2013, 09:45 AM
We were together about 5 yrs.
But he's 'not sure' if he wants to keep seeing me- when I asked him about that.
I figure b'cause he's 'got another interest'.

If he's accepting of my texts, will accept my calls and says I can 'anytime' and I'm not a 'bother', does this mean he doesn't want to let me go completely or is he just being 'nice'?
After texting for about a week ( I started it) he called and came to see me.

I heard many times how other's say their Ex won't have anything to do with them.
Because of hurt/anger? Just don't want to deal with them?

I find this all hard to understand.
I'm thinking he's either not ready to let me go totally or he's confused between me and her.
If he's accepting texts from me w/out it being an issue and seems to like hearing from me.
He's admitted he missed me for 10 days we didn't talk and was sad- but confused.

Any guys out there care to explain- have you done this?
Does this mean you're just being nice and would rather NOT hear from her? Or do you actually still care enough and not wanting to let go totally.. or? (Especially after 5 yrs).
IF you were involved with someone else and your ex texted you and you carried on with that, would that mean you still feel a lot for the ex?

Would it also mean you're not totally comfortable or into this other woman?
Also.. just wondering, When you're with your 'new interest', are you still thinking about your Ex now and then or a lot? Do YOU ever get the urge to talk to or see her again?

He's been away for a week and we've had NC during this time. Do you suggest I leave him alone for a while now? Or low contact?

Wondergirl
Jul 6, 2013, 09:56 AM
No Contact. It sounds like he's keeping you handy in case his current love interest doesn't work out. Then you two can be back together again until he finds someone else. Do you really want to be his yo-yo?

talaniman
Jul 6, 2013, 10:54 AM
He is enjoying his experimenting with a new girl and keeping you in the wings in case this new thing doesn't work. Doesn't matter if he rebounded or not because you dumped him and now you want him back. Well you tried, and he is on vacation and has a new interest.

Leave him alone or be strung along.

No need to start a new question about the same subject.

N0help4u
Jul 6, 2013, 12:13 PM
Do not sit around waiting and wondering get on with your life.