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View Full Version : I'm 12 turning 13 soon and he's 17 and we're dating is that bad?


Kaien-Sensei
Jul 2, 2013, 10:42 PM
I met him online and we became friends, after 4 months he confessed that he liked me and so I told him I liked him back... so we started to date. I know people will call him a pedophile or a creep but I do really love him, our age difference is only 4 years apart... is it okay for us to date?.

Alty
Jul 2, 2013, 10:51 PM
There are no laws against dating. If your mom and dad are okay with you dating this boy, you can date him. If mom and dad say no, then you have a problem. Keep in mind that dating means dating, not sex. If you were to have sex with this boy, then he'd be breaking the law.

J_9
Jul 2, 2013, 10:52 PM
I can't imagine you being 12 and turning 20 soon. Of course you will be 13 soon.

Yes, it is bad that you are "dating" a 17 year old. Any sexual contact of any kind, even kissing, can land him in jail and be labeled a sex offender for the rest of his life.

Have you introduced him as your boyfriend to your parents yet?

J_9
Jul 2, 2013, 10:55 PM
If your mom and dad are okay with you dating this boy, you can date him

HUH?

She's 12 and he's 17! She met him online!!

Kaien-Sensei
Jul 2, 2013, 10:56 PM
I can't imagine you being 12 and turning 20 soon. Of course you will be 13 soon.

Yes, it is bad that you are "dating" a 17 year old. Any sexual contact of any kind, even kissing, can land him in jail and be labeled a sex offender for the rest of his life.

Have you introduced him as your boyfriend to your parents yet?

Ah no, he lives in New Zealand and I'm in Australia...

J_9
Jul 2, 2013, 10:59 PM
It doesn't matter where he lives. Have you ever heard of the term jailbait? Well, you are it.

Kaien-Sensei
Jul 2, 2013, 11:01 PM
It doesn't matter where he lives. Have you ever heard of the term jailbait? Well, you are it.

Thanks... ^^

J_9
Jul 2, 2013, 11:05 PM
Alty, would you let Syd date a 16 year old she met on the internet? Same age difference.

Alty
Jul 2, 2013, 11:17 PM
Alty, would you let Syd date a 16 year old she met on the internet? Same age difference.

No, and because of that, she wouldn't legally be allowed to. Sadly, there are no laws against dating. If her parents agree that she can, she can. I didn't make the law.

J_9
Jul 2, 2013, 11:19 PM
However, there are laws against parental interference. And if you think this boy is really 17 I've got a bridge to sell you. ;)

Alty
Jul 2, 2013, 11:22 PM
However, there are laws against parental interference. And if you think this boy is really 17 I've got a bridge to sell you. ;)

I agree. That's why I said that she needed her parents permission. Now, would any half decent parent allow their 12 year old to date a 17 year old? No. Do I think it's okay for a 12 year old to date a 17 year old? No. But legally, if her parents approve, she can date him.

I don't believe he's 17 either. I'd be more likely to believe he's a lot older, and likes to prey on young naïve girls online. That's a lot more common than a 17 year old boy falling for a 12 year old online, or anywhere. What do a 17 year old and a 12 year old have in common? Absolutely nothing, unless the 17 year old is a predator, or mentally and emotionally slow. .

Kaien-Sensei
Jul 2, 2013, 11:23 PM
However, there are laws against parental interference. And if you think this boy is really 17 I've got a bridge to sell you. ;)

:D I'm sure he is

Alty
Jul 2, 2013, 11:23 PM
:D I'm sure he is

Fine then. What do your mom and dad think about you dating a 17 year old boy you met online?

Kaien-Sensei
Jul 2, 2013, 11:25 PM
Fine then. What do your mom and dad think about you dating a 17 year old boy you met online?

I haven't told them...

J_9
Jul 2, 2013, 11:26 PM
I see where you are coming from now. No, I don't believe he is 17. 27 or 37 maybe. A pedophile or a pervert to say the least.

Now, since the two of you live so far apart, you wouldn't be "dating" anyway. Dating is going to the movies, going out to dinner, picnics, etc. Since you can't do that from a distance, you can't actually date.

Stick with guys your own age. They are much safer.

Alty
Jul 2, 2013, 11:28 PM
I haven't told them...

Why not?

If mom and dad don't give you permission, you can't date him. If you don't get permission from mom and dad (you have to tell them the truth about how you met this boy, and how old he is) you're putting this boy that you claim to love, at risk of going to jail.

Kaien-Sensei
Jul 2, 2013, 11:29 PM
Why not?

If mom and dad don't give you permission, you can't date him. If you don't get permission from mom and dad (you have to tell them the truth about how you met this boy, and how old he is) you're putting this boy that you claim to love, at risk of going to jail.

Because they'd kill me and I know...

Alty
Jul 2, 2013, 11:32 PM
Because they'd kill me and I know....

Then the answer to your question "I'm 12 turning 13 soon and he's 17 and we're dating is that bad?" is yes.

Your parents are good parents, that's why they wouldn't allow you to date a 17 year old. You know it, which is why you haven't told them. That means you cannot date him, even if you want to.

J_9
Jul 2, 2013, 11:33 PM
Then you cut off ties with him.

Kaien-Sensei
Jul 2, 2013, 11:34 PM
Then the answer to your question "I'm 12 turning 13 soon and he's 17 and we're dating is that bad?" is yes.

Your parents are good parents, that's why they wouldn't allow you to date a 17 year old. You know it, which is why you haven't told them. That means you cannot date him, even if you want to.

Thanks for the advise...

Alty
Jul 2, 2013, 11:38 PM
Thanks for the advise...

You're welcome. I hope you follow it and cut all contact with this boy. You have your whole life to date. Don't be in such a hurry to grow up. Besides, what fun is it dating a guy you can't even go out on dates with? Wait a few years, find a guy your own age, and then date.

Trust me, it's a lot more fun to go out to the movies with a guy, go out to dinner, go for walks, talk on the phone, than it is to have a relationship online. But you have a few years left before you're really ready for any of that.

Kaien-Sensei
Jul 2, 2013, 11:42 PM
You're welcome. I hope you follow it and cut all contact with this boy. You have your whole life to date. Don't be in such a hurry to grow up. Besides, what fun is it dating a guy you can't even go out on dates with? Wait a few years, find a guy your own age, and then date.

Trust me, it's a lot more fun to go out to the movies with a guy, go out to dinner, go for walks, talk on the phone, than it is to have a relationship online. But you have a few years left before you're really ready for any of that.

You're right, thank you. I shall listen to your advise :) I shouldn't rush to grow up~

J_9
Jul 2, 2013, 11:43 PM
ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Alty again.

Awesome!

Kaien-Sensei
Jul 2, 2013, 11:46 PM
Done, I cut all contact with him...

joypulv
Jul 2, 2013, 11:50 PM
I'm really curious, because I see this here so often with teens meeting online and never seeing each other in person, what defined the day when you started 'dating?'

Kaien-Sensei
Jul 2, 2013, 11:54 PM
I'm really curious, because I see this here so often with teens meeting online and never seeing each other in person, what defined the day when you started 'dating?'

What do you mean?

Alty
Jul 2, 2013, 11:57 PM
You're right, thank you. I shall listen to your advise :) I shouldn't rush to grow up~

I'm glad. Just enjoy being a kid. There's plenty of time to be grown up later. Being a kid lasts a very short time. Too short. Enjoy every minute of it, and don't be in too big a hurry to get to that next stage of life. Being grown up isn't all it's cracked up to be. I'd love to be a kid again, knowing what I know now. I'd cherish every moment if I could go back in time.

Kaien-Sensei
Jul 3, 2013, 12:08 AM
I'm glad. Just enjoy being a kid. There's plenty of time to be grown up later. Being a kid lasts a very short time. Too short. Enjoy every minute of it, and don't be in too big a hurry to get to that next stage of life. Being grown up isn't all it's cracked up to be. I'd love to be a kid again, knowing what I know now. I'd cherish every moment if I could go back in time.

I'll make sure to cherish my childhood while I can :D I can't thank you enough