View Full Version : I'm 'boring'
nkxnik001
Jun 26, 2013, 04:28 AM
My boyfriend thinks that I`m boring. He doesn`t like to spend time alone with me and prefers to hang out with other 'fun' girls. We have great sexual chemistry but I`m afraid that its still not love although we have been dating for almost two months now. I can`t stop him from regularly speaking to these other girls because they are mutual friends and so I just appear jealous. I try to act friendly and join in conversations but its just not me. I`m a quiet person by nature so I don`t appear as fun. I think he admires these girls and flirts with them although he has been faithful to me.
He gets insecure when I speak to his best friend because his ex cheated on him with his ex best friend. I want to keep the spark in our relationship but I think its slowing slipping away. He thinks that I am pretty but I don`t believe so... I don`t know whether to blame my low self- esteem for my personality and my boyfriend`s boredom. I think that I`m falling in love with him... I want him to be mine. I`m just scared of losing him because he treats me with respect and is very caring. I just want to be perfect for him like when he tells me to dress sexily, I do because all the girls he knows are absolutely gorgeous and I just want to look good for him so that I don`t embarrass him. I want this to work so badly...
joypulv
Jun 26, 2013, 05:06 AM
You are off to a bad start by trying to be what you think he wants you to be. Anyone (man or woman) who tries too hard is doomed. Be who you are, confident in yourself, and if you aren't, it's time to get boys out of your life until you are. That's sexier than any way you dress or wear your hair - confidence! And if he says you are boring (did he say that or are you guessing?), then why are you still with him? What is this need for a man no matter how miserable you are?
I can't tell if this is all in your own insecure mind or if he really acts this way, because you say he treats you well. Flirting with others is good for the soul, as long as we stay true. Are you just jealous because of insecurity and lack of self esteem? Then work on that too. And if he gets jealous of you talking to some guy, gently remind him of what you put up with, and tell him it's good for the relationship; it keeps the spark alive.
Homegirl 50
Jun 26, 2013, 07:54 AM
How old are the two of you?
If he only hangs out with you for sex and tells you how to dress I don't see that as being treated well and being respected. If he talks to other girls but does not want you talking to other boys, I don't see that as being treated well and respected.
You two have not dated that long, so you don't know each other that well yet you have a sexual relationship. What about your communication skills. Do you talk to each other? Has he told you that you are boring? Have you told him how you feel?
Fr_Chuck
Jun 26, 2013, 09:02 AM
Sounds like your first mistake was to even date him. Next he is not a boyfriend, he is just someone using you, since a real boyfriend does not hang out with other girls because they are fun.
Find a boy who likes what you do
nkxnik001
Jun 29, 2013, 01:52 AM
@joypulv... He told his cousin`s boyfriend that it would be boring if he left the two of us alone. Maybe I`m over reacting but why doesn`t he want to be alone with me?
Although, I`m 18, I`m still fairly new to dating since he is my second boyfriend but like I feel that he has all the qualities that I wanted in a guy. Well, besides the random flirting with other girls.
Fr_Chuck
Jun 29, 2013, 02:22 AM
All qualities, you have very very low standards.
joypulv
Jun 29, 2013, 03:27 AM
You need to be without a man for another year. Work on self confidence and higher expectations, and stop trying so hard to please. All you have to do is say 'I don't need to be treated this way' and walk away. Respect for you (his, others, and yours for yourself) will skyrocket in a second, and your job is to remain resolved to keep it that way.
Homegirl 50
Jun 29, 2013, 07:03 AM
He needs to be gone. Build up yourself esteem. You don't need to settle for being treated that way. I don't care how many qualities you think he has, he does not treat you well. Dump him.
N0help4u
Jul 1, 2013, 04:40 PM
Some guys need that party atmosphere. They get bored easily. I think maybe you should just let him slip away because you can't make him interested in you and it doesn't sound like you two have any actual chemistry as far as interests, hobbies, etc... If he gets bored with you this easy, if you marry him he'll always being out looking for the next thing to keep him entertained while leaving you at home. Its one thing that he finds hanging out with other girls interesting but then to have a double standard that you can't talk to other guys, that's a red flag in my book. I do not go for double standards.