>threads merged<

My wife accidentally left her emails open yesterday and I was horrified to see the following thread. Do you think I have cause for concern or am I over reacting? She use to be a neighbour of him and they were close friends?

Wife: Trouble, no he might be a bit peeved as he knows we were mates and you're a guy but like he tells me I have to have friends. Not that I'm ever out to make any )
Him: Are you sure you've given me the right number it's not connecting?
Him: Yeah my phone was off as I ran out batteries. Im over a mates at the mo. Can I phone you later?
Wife: Just thought, might be better to chat tomoz night as I have the evening free, is that any better- I will e mail you before I call so not to caulse any probs??
Him: Just sitting here watching the work go by... & thinking which is a dangerous thing! I was looking back at our messages and if I'm honest I'm not being entirely fair with you. I may say I just want to be friends with you but I'm always going to want more from you... I just want to be totally honest with you so there is no confusion. Of course it would be different if I never had feelings for you.nI'm dying to see you but for all the wrong reasons! Does that make sense? Sorry if I'm doing your head in!
:Wife: You know we get on well and have been mates for some time now but at the end of the day I'm married and your engaged - and we choose those people to be with for a reason.
No doubt if there were no chris and no Rachel then we may have spent more time together and we may have become more than friends, but were not and were with the people were supposed to be with. I really appriciate you as a friend but please don't imagine I'm going to leave chris to try out a relationship with you as we both have children that need a stable home and family life with there parents. I want to continue to be friends but if u can't will understand but I will miss you.
Wife: Chris has gone to his mums now so am free to chat if you want?
Him: Bit tricky at the moment but am going to try and get out at about 10pm as I have got to drop some friends home so will be able to call you on the way back about 10.15 ish if OK??
Wife: Im really sorry mike, I didn't know what to say to make it better.
But I love chris and yeah its hard but I really want to make a go of it with him. Like I said I'm in no doubt that things would have been so much easier and straight forward if we got together but we didn't, and everything happens for a reason.bYou remind me of a male version of one of my closest mates- your easy to talk to and didn't get to phased with my weird, nuttyness which was nice. Its good to just be myself in your company and there are not that many people who I can do that with straight away which is why I appriciate our friendship.
Him: Lol! I'm not sure whether to take that as a compliment or not! I think I need to cool it down with you as I don't want to get even more screwed up than I already am!
Lets stay in touch but maybe not meet for now especially the way things are with Rachel... I am going to try and make a go of it for Caitlyn's sake and then perhaps I will be more emotionally stable to have you as a friend! Are you OK with that? Can still chat later if you want ?
Wife: Im going to go to bed now anyway as he's not settling so I'm in with him. Perhaps its for the best we don't keep on- less complicated. I will miss you but I hope you do sort things out. Stay safe and maybe in the futcher we'll catch up. X
Him: When we are both separated? Lol! Only joining :-) Ok but make sure you keep in contact yes? And still be nice to chat sometime... easier in the week whilst I'm at work!
Oh and thanks for the cheeky kiss... Not getting any ideas... Lol X
Wife: > Will do. Take care mate. P.s you look like a lovely family together- hope it works out for you
Him: I hope we are still cool? I am in training all day Monday but will ring you Tuesday around. 1pm if OK? Can you please let me have your number again?
I've got a clients party at Liverpool street next Saturday night, would be nice if you could come along so we can have a proper chat. Would have to wear smart as black tie event. The unfortunate thing for you is that there is a free bar! Lol!
wife: Of corse were cool mike, but I thought we agreed to steer clear of each other for a while. Makes it easier I think.
Wife: Its just not a good idea, not at the moment.
I don't want to hurt you but I really cant.
Please know I'm sorry.
him: >I don't understand? You've gone from wanting to chat to me to completely ignoring me overnight? What's happened?
>Why is it not good at the moment?? Surely I at least deserve a reason.
>If its because your scared something might happen between us then ill completely understand but please be honest.
>Please answer and I promise I will not message you again.
Wife: Ive been out all day with the children so couldn't answer you.
You was the one saying you can't see me because the way you feel, which I understand and respect. That's why I thought it was very responsible thing to suggest.
Ifeel it was a good call to make as I don't want to be accused of leading you on in any way.
Were both giving our relationships a real crack and hopefully new starts its not good to cloud them in any way.
him: >I've had a change of heart, just think it's a shame as we do get on so well and can talk to each other about anything.
>Would really like it if you could try and meet me.
>But will understand if its not possible for you. I will miss you though.
wife: Well okay, I'm sure we will meet up for a play date soon.
Him: What's the chances of Saturday night?
wife: >> Night!! What time do you put Caitlan to sleep?? Harrisons in bed by half 7!
>> Your not a very responsible adult are you. Or has she got daddy round her little finger and stays uo late?
Him: >Caitlyn is with nanny and grandad next weekend as Rachel is away.
>No worries if you can't or more likely don't want too.
wife: If rachels away isn't it the perfect opportunity to have Caitlyn to yourself for a few days? Or should I just mind my own buissness.
Him: I don't go out all the time you know. Plus this is to do with work clients so need to do it for business reasons...
Let me know if you reconsider Saturday, we would have a really good titimeworn:
wife: >> Ive said I would meet you but you keep changing your mind.
> >> Im sure we could take the children to kids r us or somewhere next weekend if you want to meet us?
Him: > >What do you think about Saturday? If not perhaps we can meet up on Sunday afternoon if you would like?
You have gone really quiet on me, if you really do want me to stop contacting you let me know.
Wife: just putting little man to bed I will find out what were doing @ the weekend and let you know. Okay?

I think your wife's behavior is very inappropriate and could very well lead to physical cheating.

Unless you were guilty of snooping you would have asked her directly about these texts/emails. I would have. I don't believe in snooping or assuming or speculating when I can get answers straight from my partner.

Macca, you have to face this head on. Please deal with it head on as well. I know it is your choice and people may disagree with me but you know you have to. Right?

I really am sorry for your pain. Hang in there and let us know what happens.

You tell your wife you saw her emails to this guy. Ask her what's going on.

You tell your wife you saw her emails to this guy. Ask her what's going on.
Hi, thanks for your reply! Do you really think she may cheat with this guy?

I think it's possible that she MIGHT... but as for now, she seems to be doing a good job of trying to distance herself. The only thing that makes me wonder is why she is continuing with this. I can almost read between the lines from him and see what he is doing. It appears to me that he is trying to manipulate her into talking, then meeting, and then what? You see what I'm saying?

I also don't agree with her being shady about all of this but from what she said there, I don't think she is looking to jump right in with him... but I also don't think she is completely beyond being coaxed into it either. She really needs to break off this whole thing with him because it will only lead to trouble down the road.

I think it's possible that she MIGHT....but as for now, she seems to be doing a good job of trying to distance herself. The only thing that makes me wonder is why she is continuing with this. I can almost read between the lines from him and see what he is doing. It appears to me that he is trying to manipulate her into talking, then meeting, and then what? You see what I'm saying?

I also don't agree with her being shady about all of this but from what she said there, I don't think she is looking to jump right in with him...but I also don't think she is completely beyond being coaxed into it either. She really needs to break off this whole thing with him because it will only lead to trouble down the road.

Thanks for a great reply!

Do you think I should have a word with the guy without the wife knowing... Or just confront her?

No... having "a word" with the other guy almost never works out. For one thing, it throws down a challenge to him... for another, if she finds out, then you went behind her back to prove your manliness and that looks bad.

"Confront" is a hard word here. I would talk to her... calmly and not accusing in tone. Explain that you snooped and saw this and now are worried that you may lose her to him.

No...having "a word" with the other guy almost never works out. For one thing, it throws down a challenge to him....for another, if she finds out, then you went behind her back to prove your manliness and that looks bad.

"Confront" is a hard word here. I would talk to her...calmly and not accusing in tone. Explain that you snooped and saw this and now are worried that you may lose her to him.

Sound advice! Many thanks :-)

The only person you should have a word with is your wife. She may mean it to not go further, but just the fact that she continues to communicate speaks volumes. She is playing with fire. This is inappropriate behavior for a married woman.

My wife had a close male friend who use to be her close friend. They have recently started mailing. They use to be neighbours, shared a kiss & nearly slept together years ago. My wife accidentally left her emails open, advise please!
Wife: Ergggggg did you have to be that graphic!! Bloody hell if you thought that was a great night imagine what a let down it would have been for you if we had actually... Carried on. I do feel bad about that night, I should never have let it get to that stage... It wasn't fair.nThats why I'm so careful now not to lead anyone on, but I can't help it if blokes have only got one track minds.
Him: I have to be honest and say I was surprised and grateful I got what I did. You did leave me ridiculously horny though! Lol! I do have some questions though and be honest with me. Was you tempted at any point? Did you get turned on at all? And do you ever think about what it would have been like... If we did carry on...
It wasn't your fault hun, and no one got hurt apart from my pride.
Hey one track mind... Yes I would love to get in your knickers but it's not as though you don't know me & at least I'm not beating about the bush... Wishful thinking again! ;-)
Wife: If corse I was tempted but I knew it wasn't fair because I wasn't thinking clearly, I was confused and upset and a bit drunk but luckly my sanity kicked un and I realized that until I knew what was going on really it would have only complicated things more. I guess it was the horny side of me that was taking over... Until my sane side overtook and said NO this is not right! Sometimes I do think about it... But like I said, I knew it was chris I wanted so it wouldn't have ended well as I would have always had him on my mind woundering what if... Sory honey... For the **** mixed up timing of life.
Him: You'd have probably ruined me anyway! Lol!
Wife: Eweweee are you seriouse!! I'm shy! ;-)
Believe what you like mr pres, I know what I'm like... Timid & shy
Anyway going to bed now- hope you haven't ruined my dreams for tonight mr!

Yeesh let alone reading all that how'd you manage to get a complete copy? It says she got carried away drunk but thankfully stopped things before they got out of hand. So where do you go from here? Confront her? Watch her more closely? Leave her? I really don't think there is much of anything you can do without pushing her right into his arms. Other than giving her the benefit of the doubt.

Didn't you post this question Last week? Why have you posted it again?

>threads merged<

Why are you posting again and now adding to it?

I think he thinks his wife will cheat and wants someone to tell him it is OK to leave her.

Didn't you post this question Last week? Why have you posted it again?

>threads merged<

Yeah I posted the same question last week but I have found a new email conversation, so wasn't too sure what too think really??


Why are you posting again and now adding to it?

Hi, just found a new email conversation with same guy... Not really sure if she is flirting or what??


I think he thinks his wife will cheat and wants someone to tell him it is OK to leave her.

I honestly do not know what to do? Do you think this is cheating or will lead to cheating? What does she mean at the end where she says about dreams... Is this just flirting??

I think she is just curious about having a friendship with him. Will it get out of hand? Who knows. What are her intentions? Don't know. But like I said when you first posted this... what can you do really do about it short of getting her mad for pursuing this? She said she would meet him at a toy store with her kids. Even though I don't think it's a good idea, if she were really after anything with this guy at this point I think it would be something more like I'll get my husband to put the kids to bed and I'll make an excuse to leave for a bit.

I think you need to let your wife know that you have seen these and have a talk with her. She is flirting and that is inappropriate, it would also be wrong to bring the kids in this. Stop asking us and ask her what the heck she is doing.

I don't even believe she left her email open, or else you would not hesitate to tell her what you found. And she did it twice??

Will she cheat with him, maybe ? Will she cheat with the man from the market, she may, is is already cheating with a neighbor how knows?

It is a matter of trust and how a relationship is going.

Time to talk to her, without fighting or yelling

First, print out this exchange and keep it somewhere safe,, you may need it in divorce court.
You have to confront her with it. You can't walk around with this eating at you day in and day out.

Have you talked to her yet? How did it go