Hi,

I have this guy that I'm completely in love with but lately I've just been remembering a lot of bad stuff I did that's just weighing down on my concience:(
A while back in our relationship (we had kind of a long distance one at the time) I remember I would go online sometimes and have sexual chats with some guys... at the time I didn't think anything of it... it was just sort of like this meaningless thing like watching pornography.. but now I realize that it was selfish of me and hurtful which kills me:( I can't stand myself for ever having done something that might have hurt the only person who ever cared about me:(

Anyway... do you think this was really bad?

(please don't be too harsh though.. I feel horrible enough)

Yes, it's called cheating and is just as bad.

You already know it was really that bad. Feeling guilty is a very good indication that you don't need us to punish you, you are already punishing yourself.

Now, what you didn't come out and ask. You need to talk to your boyfriend and be honest with him. Holding it inside is not working because you are hurting yourself and it is only a matter of time before it affects your relationship even if you don't tell him.

You do not have to give minute details. But you need to be honest about playing cyber games. You need to give him a chance to think, calm down and make a decision about what he wants to do, You need to listen to him. You may find out he was playing cyber games too.

It may be the end of the relationship. It may take a lot of very hard work to overcome the past and rebuild the trust. It may be a mutual decision to forget individual indiscretions and let the past go.