View Full Version : Is it bad to not believe in love?
TheWhiteItalian
Jun 21, 2013, 01:47 AM
Okay guys. Big question that’s been on my brain. (It’s really not even a question) I don’t believe in love. No, I have not been in a devastating relationship that would wreck it for me. I just don’t believe it exists! I am a seventeen year old female who is NOT a drama queen, is an honor roll student and has a very caring boyfriend. Now, he finds it extremely odd that I cannot bring myself to say the words, "I love you" to him. I just can’t do it... Is there something wrong with me?
Everybody I know believes that I overthink EVERYTHING, because I do. I also believe that everyone is judging me, all of the freaking time. Which they are. I live in a small town you see. You can’t take a piss in a bush without everyone knowing in two seconds. Anyway, is it bad that I don’t believe in love? Is there a scientific definition to love? I’m also NOT RELIGIOUS so if anyone gives me their reasoning, I just plain will not accept it, so please. Control yourself with the pressing religion on people.
Also. Can I add stuff to this post later on at all? I am brand new to this site so I could specifically get this issue under my belt and maybe chat through it, but I don't know if I can on this site.
joypulv
Jun 21, 2013, 02:55 AM
To reply to your own post, just use the orange Answer button below.
Not believing in love and not being in love with a guy are two very different things. You are still a teenager. If love never socks you in the gut and sends you careening from the highest heights to the lowest depths, fine. 'Never' is a very long time. If you want to turn your belief into a whole philosophy, that's fine too, and you are not alone. Most of the world believes because they were born being loved and crave it for the rest of their lives, and feel it whether they want to or not, or because they enjoy it.
Someone once told me a little nugget that I like: the only Universal Truths are the most subjective ones, Love and Beauty. Math and science and statistics come and go in their 'truth,' but love and beauty remain, ever changing, but experienced by everyone. You experienced love as an infant, and probably still do.
You could do some study of the types of love as described by the Greek philosophers, agape, eros, philia, and storge, and read what Plato had to say (hence 'platonic'). Also, since you asked if it's bad, do a study of morality vs ethics. Bad and good are moral concepts; right and wrong are ethical. Morality is associated with religion that you don't want to discuss. Therefore your title should be is it wrong. Both concepts can coincide, such as when talking about major crimes. It's bad to steal, and it's wrong. I don't see a lack of belief in love as either wrong or bad, but I think you should define what you mean if you are including all love.
I personally think it's admirable that you won't tell your boyfriend that you love him. Love between two people needs to stand the test of time and struggles of adult life. Teen love is infatuation and exploration of feelings of love. Most love starts as romance, and when that fades, if there is nothing of substance left, it's over. Substance is respect, admiration, compromise, and understanding.
talaniman
Jun 21, 2013, 07:48 AM
Its okay not to believe in love right now, and no there is nothing wrong with you for feeling that way. You are a teen with much ahead to learn so just keep an open mind and know your fella just wants to hear the words from you. That's between you to, so just be honest and deal with the rest. Actions mean more than words sometimes and you can listen respectfully to the opinions of others, and still decide your own path, at your own pace.
As to adding to this thread or replying to others just scroll down and follow directions.
Looking forward to you input and further questions and others will probably be along toad their opinions and suggestions, and thoughts. Be patient as we are all on different schedules.
Welcome to the site, and hope you enjoy the experience.
Homegirl 50
Jun 21, 2013, 08:55 AM
Nothing wrong with not saying I love you, especially if you don't feel it. That word id used too flippantly anyway. You don't believe in love because you haven't experienced it, nothing wrong with that either. All in due time. Enjoy your teen years.
smkanand
Jun 21, 2013, 09:32 AM
You certainly believe in love. But you don't believe in one aspect of love that is girlfriend, boyfriend aspect. Love is very strong and broad meaning. There is love of family, parents, siblings, friends, pets , music, art etc. and all that is part of love. It's fine if you don't believe in it. Science says love is chemical reactions of hormones and various other chemicals in brain. One doesn't need religion to explain love. You will know it when it happened.
aliseaodo
Jun 21, 2013, 09:42 AM
ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to joypulv again.
Joy I love (no pun intended! ) your post, perfectly said.
Robert Brenner
Jun 21, 2013, 10:41 AM
NOoooooo... YOU are not bad! You are wanting to know more about LOVE then just what you have been taught to believe about what LOVE really is. Only YOU can love YOU the way YOU want to be loved so seeking LOVE outside of you is a dead end.