So me and my boyfriend used to fight a lot and he used to find lots of faults in me. We broke up and made up a lot of times. But the last time we broke up was last Friday. He said he didn't want to see me anymore. And I was pretty shook up. Anyway I was drunk on Saturday and I called him saying how much I missed him and bla bla. And he said he didn't miss me. On Sunday morning around 5 am he was the one to call and I told him not to call he said he only called because he was drunk and he wanted me to move on with my life because he was going out with someone else already. Anyway on Monday morning his friend called me asking me how I'm doing and said that he and my ex were on their way for a trip. He asked me if I wanted to talk to my ex and I said no. Anyway we still talked but I was quite uninterested in what he was saying and I showed that.

However later on I heard that he made out with some girl which is his friend and used to be mine and texted him to "congratulate him” saying I was really happy for them and they made a cute couple and stuff like that. He kept on claiming that they were just close friends. We kept texting each till today we were kind of having a fight but then it calmed down. And we started talking normally. He admitted on going on my Facebook and checking out my profile and pictures and he also said he was trying to piss me off on Sunday when he said he was seeing someone else. He said that we were just friends and he doesn't want to be with me. I said that I too don't want to be with him but I miss us and today we're supposed to meet with some of his friends but only as friends.

He says he can't be with me because of the constant fighting and also because I was seeing someone else. Which I said was an excuse because when I had stopped seeing him he still mentioned him and brought him up in our fights. My question is does he really truly just want us to be friends? Or does he want me back and is afraid/ playing hard to get? Give me your opinion

How long did you two date?
I think he is done but maybe missing you a bit. That is normal. As much as you two fought you two need to be apart.
You obviously still have some feelings (maybe he does too) therefore you two need to stop talking and texting so you can get over him.

We didn't date for long.. 3 months.. the thing is that if he said he wanted me back I would take him back.. but if he really doesn't want me I will try to move on.. but I wish we could make up..

All of that fighting and fault finding in a 3 month relationship, not good! Be done with this. Too much drama that will not get better. Why would you want to make up? So you can go through the same mess again? That does not sound like a fun or healthy relationship.

Me and my ex are hanging out again.. as friends.. but we still make out and hold hands.. but he says he wants to be friends.. because he feels comfortable with me.. my question is.. do you think this could go somewhere? Like if he sees that we're not fighting anymore like we used to before.. and he gets to know me again.. and sees that I'm not the person I was before.. will he want to take me back ? Or is this going to be like this forever? He confuses me.. he texts.. if I don't answer he texts again.. and he does get jealous about other man.. I don't get it..

He's not here, so we can't ask him.
If he confuses you, then it's time for YOU to decide what to do. If you keep taking him back, then it gets easier and easier to leave you, right? If you don't want this stretching off into your old age, you tell him you are leaving, you date other men, you have no contact at all, and if he tries to intervene, call the cops.

As long as you are making out and all, he has no reason to commit to you. If he wants to be friends, the making out stops. Right now he is a friend with benefits and that is fine with him. If it is not fine with you, tell him so and move on.

What do I have to do for him to really make up his mind ?

I don't think it is a matter of making up his mind. He says he wants to be friends. That is what he wants. You need to decide if you just want the friendship or you move on.

It is not what he wants it is what you want. You think if you don't cause any arguments he will like you again. What are you going to do, catch him and then argue again or never argue? If you cannot be your authentic self with someone do not invest your time... move on. If he is controlling and gets jealous doesn't mean he like you it means he is an insecure person and controlling. Do not get that confused with "but he loves me", been there done that. Credentials, 55 year old speaking.

Get out when you can...

It is not what he wants it is what you want. You think if you don't cause any arguments he will like you again. What are you going to do, catch him and then argue again or never argue? If you cannot be your authentic self with someone do not invest your time...move on. If he is controlling and gets jealous doesn't mean he like you it means he is an insecure person and controlling. Do not get that confused with "but he loves me", been there done that. Credentials, 55 year old speaking.

Get out when you can....

Why do you find this inaccurate?

It means, he is done with you, perhaps finally making a good choice. Let me see you and he both get drunk (no wonder you argue) but you argue, and break up all the time.

This is not a relationship, it is a WWF wrestling, commercial, sorry, it is over, was never good, and he is going to start a new and perhaps better choice,

Time to do the same and remember a break up is that, most times they do not get back together.

So when I was thirteen I was abused.. and even though I confronted the guy it still stayed with me.. I became quite promiscuous.. deep down I always wanted a relationship but I always seem to find bad guys who always make me feel like I'm just good for sex.. than something happens.. I find a guy who respects me and doesn't want me for my body.. he wants me for me.. things don't work out with us.. and we remain friends ( even though we still make out and hold hands and stuff like that ).. he says he just respects me and never in fact did love me.. the thing is.. I'm having a real hard time getting over this guy.. because I feel like for once someone wanted me for me.. apart from therapy.. what can I do to feel better ?

I know you're going to hate this answer, but time and distraction really is the best! I got out of a bad relationship, and after some time I got in contact with an old friend. He made me feel so wanted and special and like I was the only person that mattered. Things got sexual, and he had a girlfriend. He didn't really like me and it was just a game to him I later found out, but while this was going on if I didn't speak to him for a day I felt like I was going crazy, I was so hung up on this guy! But after time I realised everything does happen for a reason! You're going to get over this guy with time and you'll meet the person you're going to marry, it might not be straight away, but it will be worth the heartache when you find them. Just take time and you'll get over him, and it will become clear in the future why you two wouldn't have worked. Take care x

Is this person you describe as respecting you the same person you describe here - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/ex-confused-playing-hard-get-754278.html

Yes..

If someone is very hurt by love and thinks that all his relationships will fail.. how do you prove to them that things can work out again in life ?

Your threads were merged.

When you have healed your confidence in yourself and life will return, and healing starts with absolute NO CONTACT.

You have been hurt yourself and are not able to see clearly with this guy. He does not have the same feelings for you that you have for him. Friends don't mess around. This relationship is not good for either of you. He does not want to date you. Get some counseling and have no more contact with him so you can move past this .