I'm in my first relationship-have been for four months, and I'm getting angry with my GF's best friend, as well as one of her exs. We're both still in high school (I'm 18, she's 16, we've already taken flak for age difference), and we hang around together after school until her mom picks her up, typically two hours after school ends.

The problem is, her best friend, a guy who's been in a relationship for the past year, is always there too. His girlfriend leaves almost immediately after school. He'll come over while we're snuggling or what-have-you, get her attention and they'll start talking and talking and talking. She's enjoying herself, so I don't see the point in me being there if I'm not needed. I have issues with self-importance (What is the point, I'm not needed, she's got others, etc, etc) so this is a crushing blow, delivered day after day.

This almost boiled over when I was hugging her in between classes and he walked over, go her attention and she was so engrossed she didn't hear me saying that I was going to class (she has lunch) that I stormed off angrily, cursing him as I went. She also draws him more than me, and even when I was drawn, it's in a competition and I'm losing to him.

In addition to all of this, she still keeps in regular contact with her ex of 8 months from last year. She says he expresses sexual interest in her (A desire to role-play in chat), hates me and hates it when she fawns over me ("You're acting like you're his wife or something" his actual grammar was worse, so I cleaned it up so you can understand it). Even so, she still talks to him, both online and in real life. There've been occasions where I've walked away from her to go busy myself with a book because she's talking/watching a video with her ex and her best.

Tumblr and skype have also been a source of skirted contention. She feels ignored when I don't talk to her while she's on tumblr, yet I'm not talking to her because she's on tumblr. We talked about it once, but we didn't reach a solution and we haven't talked about it since. The problem persists

I've told her my feelings, but she's kept on doing it, though I'm still not sure if I'm at fault here. Is it my fault for being jealous seeking to enjoy herself outside of our relationship, or hers for not being accommodating of my feelings and deep-rooted insecurities? Is it my insecurities that are the problem, or is she the problem? Am I imagining issues where there are none? Am I the problem or am I taking blame where there is none? Because when she's talking to the others, or on tumblr when we should be talking, I feel unloved. When that isn't the case, when I know that I should feel she loves me (she told a friend of hers I was the one <3), I feel bad and think all this is my fault. If someone said to you the earth was flat when you've told them a thousands times it's round, guess who's the problem? Certainly not you.

Because of my personal issues and insecurities, I haven't been able to solve this on my own, so I'm asking you to help me. If you need any more information, ask away. I tried to tell the story with facts alone, but my emotions crept in there, unwanted. I hope it doesn't dilute it and I sincerely hope you can help me with this.

My take on this whole thing...

Your insecurities and self importance issues are a problem BUT... I don't think they are the biggest part of the problem in this case.

It sounds to me like she is immature. The simple fact that she knows it bothers you is enough for me to say that by itself but there is more. Usually I have no problems with a woman having a best friend that's male... this is where insecurities will kill you. Though in this case, I have to think that this "friend" is a little over the line. It seems more to me like he is interested in her and maybe she is in him to a point. If she really ignores you when he is around, that tells you something right there.

The ex is a different story completely. Normally I see no problems with people remaining friends with their ex's if that's what they really want but in this case, I wouldn't deal with it. He talks bad about you and tries to get her to role-play sex with him. That should make her see that this is no good and if you already talked to her about this and she is not seeing it, then she is disrespecting you.

Me? I would calmly talk to her about all this one more time. Tell her it bothers you and why it does. If she can't see it, then you will have to bite the bullet and break up with her in order to gain back some self respect. This whole situation is not helping you at all and is probably making things worse on you. In my opinion, you really don't need a girl like this in your life and you can do better.

I totally forgot to mention this, and for it I apologize, but she does feel terrible, or else she is an excellent actress, when I tell her how I feel ignored. I'm on mobile now and am walking to work.

She feels terrible but she continues to do it... she must not feel as bad as she says.

She is 16, and has a life she enjoys and your problems keep you from sharing in it. I highly suggest you deal with your own issues and NOT put them on others, or expect them to cater to those issues.

Maybe she could give you more attention, but you don't get it on demand, or through immature selfish behavior because as you see, that's how to be angry, and resentful. That's neither healthy for YOU, or your partner.

You want a wallflower that clings to you and makes you their world, then what are you doing with an outgoing people person? You can't change but you can change your attitude if you want to, by dealing and coping with your own issues and being more secure and less jealous, and giving more thoughts to your words and actions.

Learn now, or have this as an issue in any relationship you have as an adult. It will get worse if you don't change it, or don't want to.

I have to agree with oden on this. You have insecurity issues but she does not help them.
She is immature and enjoys all of this male attention, The thing with her ex is a bit much.
All of this in an only 4 month relationship is in my opinion not worth it. She says she feels bad but she does not stop with the ex. I'd leave her alone and work on yourself esteem.